Lena Matthews

Even with my eyes closed, I knew exactly where I was. The world around me was pulsating as if it were alive, and everything felt sharper somehow. There was a tree to my left that I was about to collide with, so I stepped out of the way.

"Are you cheating?" Jacob asked.

"My eyes are closed." I assured him. Despite that, I didn't feel restricted in a place like this. Even though I couldn't see, I knew that this place was overflowing with nature. Maybe I was in a garden.

"Okay." said Jacob. He moved his hands so I could take in the view. I wasn't sure what to expect, but this place was gorgeous.

"How did you find this place?" I asked.

We were in a secret alcove of downtown that had been cut off from the rest of the world by a moss covered stone. Within this small patch of Eden, everything was carefully designed like a Japanese garden. I could see a small pagoda that peacefully sat by a purple Japanese maple. Everything here was buzzing with a story that was begging to be told. I wasn't sure how to interpret everything yet, but I knew that there was something powerful here.

"Completely by accident." Jacob admitted. After helping me bandage my leg, Jacob had made me promise not to look as he guided me here.

My eyes rested in the one thing that looked like it didn't belong. It was a violently white obelisk that contrasted against the moss that surrounded it. The structure stood stoically with the somber aura of a gravestone. I inspected its carvings, which I suspected were Japanese characters. I had no way of knowing what they actually said.

"Do you know what this means?" I asked, staring at the kanji characters intensely.

"Um... wind, between?" Jacob guessed, struggling to decipher the words.

"Seriously?" I asked, giggling at the gibberish.

"Wait, I think it says 'Kazama'" said Jacob.

"What does that mean?" I asked.

"No idea." Jacob admitted. "I never actually learned Japanese. Just some individual characters."

"Because of that Japanese episode?" I asked, the words slipping out before I could stop them. In my brain, the show Spellbound and the person standing right in front of me were still separate entities.

"Good memory." said Jacob, not elaborating.

"You know, you probably could have chosen anywhere after that show ended. Why here?" I asked.

"It's..." Jacob paused. "Okay, have you ever thought that you had an incredible idea that turned out to be terrible? But then you don't want to admit it was a failure so you make yourself ride out every second of it?"

"When I was in middle school I tried to Home Alone my house to protect it from invaders. But I ended up getting my brother Finn instead." I said.

"Well, not exactly that, but I had this idea that as when the show ended, everything was going to revert to normal. That's not what happened. The second the finale wrapped, my mom was ready to have me sign a new round of contracts. I thought that I could be smart enough to avoid it. For the record, I was totally wrong." As Jacob spoke, he was exuding sn enthusiasm that was almost contagious.

"I mean, you're here. You're finishing high school. It's pretty close to normal, right?" I asked.

"I don't really attend Atalka Academy. I negotiated finishing high school, but then I ended up with private classes and still have a recording contract lined up the second I graduate. I've been here for months, but I haven't even held a full conversation with someone that wasn't my family." Jacob explained. "It's just one machine to the next."

"Making music doesn't sound that bad, though." I said.

"It's not." said Jacob. "I'm really glad that I'll get to do it, but I can't believe that I let her win after everything."

"How did your mom win?" I asked, not following.

"This weird limbo situation. I'm stuck in two worlds but I can't completely belong to either. It's what she wanted." said Jacob.

"That reminds me of someone I know." I mused, mostly to myself. I couldn't stop thinking about Jane-Anne, and how clueless she was to everything that surrounded her. But she wasn't the only one trapped in two worlds. That sentiment was a bit too close for comfort right now.

"What?" Jacob asked.

"I said you shouldn't let her win." I said, a lot louder. "I mean, seriously! She doesn't follow you to school, get some real classes!" My excitement was starting to build, and I couldn't help but notice that the moss around me was starting to turn a more vibrant shade of green. I hoped that Jacob wouldn't notice.

"Are you doing that Night of Shining Stars thing?" I added eagerly.

"No." said Jacob.

"Come on! You have to!" I said. Without thinking, I grabbed his arm. My smile faltered for a bit when I realized that I was standing extremely close to him. I looked up, our eyes meeting for the first time today. I was lost in their vibrant green, and his scent hit me again, throwing me off balance. I was definitely feeling something, and the garden seemed to know it. Around me, the colors of the wildlife were starting to flash vibrantly. I didn't understand how to control any of it, but I needed it to stop.

My mind was so busy spiraling that it didn't notice that my body was taking an initiative of its own. It was leaning closer, and relishing in the heat. There was a buzzing in my ears, almost like a song, that was keeping me from realizing what was happening.

"I..." When a word finally escaped my lips, it was when they were dangerously close to his. I slowly unwrapped my arms from around his neck and hugged myself, a weird fear in my chest. "I should go."

Understandably, Jacob was confused.

"Thanks for everything." I added awkwardly. "Make sure she doesn't win." I gave him a small smile before slipping away.

I can't do anything right.

That was all that I let myself think as I stumbled towards the nearby woods. It was the only thing that felt safe. I leaned against a random redwood and attempted to process everything that had just happened, but my consciousness had other ideas.

As soon as my back made contact with the tree, my senses started to blur together incoherently. I felt detached from my own body, lost in a network of roots and leaves. I could leap between each limb, and feel my spirit glide across the living connection that laced the world together. I was lost and dizzy and euphoric and scared all at the same time. I couldn't tell where I ended and the forest began, but I didn't care. Nothing felt recognizable, or even distinguishable, and I was living for the freedom of this numbness. Everything came to a grinding halt when reality pulled me back down to Earth.

I felt slightly nauseous when I came to, and my hand settled on a tree trunk. But this wasn't the redwood. It was my tree. I looked around me. I was in same spot where I died.

"What?" I asked out loud, even though nothing could hear me. I inspected my body, but everything seemed perfectly normal. Even my purse and glasses had come along for the ride.

I placed my palm back on my tree, this time with intention. I could feel my heartbeat echo within the roots and branches of the Earth as I flew through everything. I was deposited harshly onto the ground, this time in a different place. Smiling at my newfound ability, I got up and dusted the pine straw and dirt from my black dress.

"Lena?" I was in my backyard. It felt like it had been years since I had seen my Mom, and by her voice, she felt the same way. Mom sprinted towards me and wrapped me in a protective hug, her scarf blanketing my face. She seemed too caught up in her relief to question how I had gotten there, and I was thankful for that.

"We thought it had gotten you." said Mom. "You father is two seconds away from calling the Agency to storm the town. You need to get inside."

"Didn't Finn tell you I was with the Reynolds?" I asked.

"He did, but you were supposed to meet us after the service. You never showed." said Mom, practically dragging me inside.

"I'm sorry." I defended weakly.

"Brandon! I found her!" Mom yelled when we walked into the house.

"It won't happen again." I promised Mom.

"I know." said Mom. "I trust you, but you can be rebellious sometimes, you know that?"

"That might be from dad's side of the family." I grumbled offhandedly.

"It's not." said Mom decisively. "It just kinda came from you. It's like that spark your dad likes to talk about. What you have, it's really special, and it didn't come from anyone else. Not me, and not your father. I get that he's blind, and I get that you're frustrated, but someday he'll figure it out."

Mom wrapped me in a hug again, and I tried not to react. Just a few months ago, I would have cried with joy at her words, but now they felt like a blow to the stomach.

"Thanks, Mom." I whispered. "I'm sorry I've been blocked off lately."

"It's been hard. For you especially. I'm sorry about your grandmother and I'm sorry about Rowan and Mrs. Delaney and fighting with your father and... I'm sorry about everything. Take your time to find yourself again." said Mom. "I miss you though." She tucked my hair behind my ear and smiled. I could see her eyes starting to glass over, like she was going to cry.

"I'm going to make sure Dad doesn't blow this mission." I said, my voice unexpectedly raspy.

Dad was pacing in the kitchen, frustration and stress evident on his face. He was on the phone, and it was starting to get heated. I didn't let myself enter the kitchen, and tried to listen to the conversation.

"I've done everything you told me to, and I haven't told the Agency about any of this. If you don't hold up your end of this deal, I'll leave." said Dad. As he paused, I strained to hear who he was talking to.

"You say you know what you're doing, but I'm starting to doubt it. I guess this is what I get for aligning with a freak." When he said the last word, I physically flinched.  I felt like it was directed straight at me.

"Then accelerate it!" Dad demanded, continuing to angrily berate whoever he was calling. This was what I had been avoiding these past few days. This was why I was wasting my time frolicking in some garden with a stranger. It had everything to do with home, and nothing to do with the stranger. Nothing at all.

"People are dying, and you're telling me to stay still. At least tell me what it is." said Dad. I waited through the silence. "You have to tell me something." Dad continued. "If you don't, I will-" I could hear the loud beep of a dropped call from where I was standing.

"Dad?" I asked, walking into the kitchen.

Dad set his phone down quickly, as if he had been caught doing something wrong. "Lena! I'm glad you're back."

"Everyone's acting like I left for the summer or something." I said awkwardly. "It's just been a couple of days."

"It' seemed a lot longer than that." said Dad. "I feel like part of it's my fault."

"Um..." I was totally taken off guard. There was no universe in which I could imagine my father recognizing something as his fault.

"I've had a little bit of time to think, and your mom and Finn are right. I know why you've been avoiding us. There need to be some changes around here, starting with this." Dad set a card down on the counter and slid it towards me. I looked down to see an ID with my face on it.

Lena Matthews, Agent.

"What is this?" I asked, not understanding what I was looking at. A nauseous feeling took root in my stomach as I stared down at the smiling face reflected on the laminated card.

"It's yours." said Dad, not offering any explanation. He looked at me expectantly, waiting for me to take it.

"Thank you." I forced myself to say aloud as I reached for the new ID.

Both of the cards were safely tucked in my pocket as I walked upstairs to my room. I was ready to forget about everything today, and effectively shut down.

The Agency was everything I wanted, but I needed to find a way to take them down. Maybe I could do something from my position on the inside, but I couldn't get caught either. If Dad didn't find any evidence for a few more months, then Atalka would be safe. But there was a cold killer on the loose, and even if I could save Atalka, how was I supposed to save myself?

Why did I still love my family even if they would murder me in a heartbeat?

"Aurelie! Geez, you scared me!" Aurelie was sitting on the edge of my bed, calmly letting her feet dangle over the edge. "I kinda want to be alone, Aurelie." I said, sighing.

"Doesn't that get boring?" Aurelie asked me, her angelic eyes wide. She acted innocent, but she was still the spitting image of Dad. Finn looked more like him too, leaving me as the outsider with bright eyes and red hair that matched Mom.

"What do you mean, get boring?" I asked, deciding to humor my sister.

"Who do you talk to if you don't talk to us?" Aurelie asked.

"I have friends." I said defensively.

"But not real friends." said Aurelie. "We're not supposed to make real friends. You just have us."

"And I like having you guys." I said. My vision was starting to get blurry, and I wanted to yell at myself for crying unexpectedly.

"Is it okay to be sad when fake friends die?" Aurelie asked suddenly. "She was good. Why do bad things happen to good people?"

"Are you talking about Mrs. Delaney?" I asked, wiping my eyes and trying to keep my composure.

Aurelie nodded.

I huffed as I tried to measure my words. I thought back to Flora's last violent moments. Maybe she was trying to do something for the greater good. Maybe she was looking for revenge. "People aren't good or bad. They're complicated." I said finally.

"That doesn't make sense." said Aurelie, unamused.

I chuckled to myself. "I know it doesn't make sense, but that's just the way it is. If people were easy to figure out, then everything would be boring. And we don't like boring." I said. "Now you should probably get to bed."

"Okay." said Aurelie, making herself comfortable under my blankets.

A/N: So Lena has finally seen her family for the first time since becoming Forbidden. I hope everybody had a very happy holiday! I went on an airplane for the first time since the pandemic, and got to actually visit the place that inspired my setting for Atalka. I almost forgot how gorgeous it was. Thank you guys for reading, and I will see you very soon with a fun chapter about a different holiday.

QOTD: What's your favorite place you've traveled to?