Lena Matthews

"Ivy? Are you ready to talk?" Jessica asked from the other side of the door. 

"No." I answered flatly.

Jessica sighed. "It's been hours. You probably need to eat."

"I'm fine." I insisted. I walked over to the window for the fifth time to see if I could open it. I fiddled with the lock, but it was still stuck. 

"That's not going to work," said Jessica.

"How did you-" I frowned as I slowly pulled my arms away from the window. "How much can you hear?" I asked.

"I would love to answer all of your questions, but you need to let me in first." said Jessica.

"Do I need to invite you in?" I asked.

"No, that isn't necessary," said Jessica. "I just don't want to barge in if you don't want me to."

I was in Jessica's guest bedroom, still dressed in my hospital gown. After the most awkward car ride ever, Jessica had locked me here while she went to some important meeting. I've already exhausted every method of escape. Without a phone, I felt cut off from the outside world, trapped in a small room with way too many throw pillows.

"Listen," said Jessica, "we need to work together if you want to get through this."

"I know." I sighed. "Just come in." There was no point in delaying the inevitable.

Jessica unlocked the door and walked in. She sat down next to me and placed a neatly folded stack of clothes on the white and gold comforter.

"I get that you're scared," Jessica began.

"I'm not scared." I insisted.

"I can tell when you're lying." said Jessica gently. "Your heartbeat picks up."

"Okay." I was nearly dizzy at this point. I looked straight ahead, focusing on the window. Outside, it was drizzling calmly. I tried to focus on the gentle patter of rain to make myself forget that I was sitting next to a Forbidden. A remarkably intelligent Forbidden that could act human.

"What do you want to know first?" Jessica prompted.

"Is my family okay?" I asked.

"They're fine. We have no reason to believe that they know anything they shouldn't. They're a little worried, but they expect to see you tomorrow afternoon." said Jessica.

"Where's Makaya?" I asked.

"Makaya was tried today for negligence. But she isn't being charged. Luckily for her, she had enough sense to send Carter and I after you last night."

"Can she still track my phone?" I continued, the questions firing out of my mouth rapidly.

"She can," said Jessica. "But we aren't giving you your phone back until after this is over."

"And when would that be?" I asked.

"It's different for everyone." Jessica placed her cold hand on mine, and I pulled away immediately. For a second, pure disgust flashed across my face, but I tried to cover it with a mask of innocent fear.

"How many?" I asked. "How many Forbidden are in this town?" I rested my gaze on the door this time, still not trusting myself to look at Jessica.

"A lot." Jessica answered. "You'll see all of them tomorrow morning at your trial."

"How old are you?" I questioned.

"Would you believe me if I told you I didn't know?" Jessica asked.

"You have to know." I said, frowning.

"I don't like talking about my age." said Jessica finally. "It makes me feel inhuman, if that makes sense."

"So what do you want to be?" I asked. "Human or Forbidden?"

"Who said it was one or the other?" Jessica responded.

"I just always assumed it was." I said, shrugging. I spared a glance at Jessica, curiosity getting the better of me. "Where's Carter?" I asked suddenly.

Jessica frowned. "Why don't you change and meet me downstairs? I can try to make something."

"Sure." I said. I looked down at the clothes Jessica had brought for me. They still had tags on them. "Did you buy these?"

"I didn't have any clothes that would fit you that were..." Jessica trailed off, searching for the right word. "Recent."

"Carter told me I looked like Rosie." I said, slowly unfolding the clothes on the bed. I had given up on my strategy to look at anything except Jessica, and was now staring directly at her eyes, wondering what secrets they could give away.

"Rosie's been gone for a while now," said Jessica. "Life goes on." As she said the last words, all emotion drained from her voice. "I'm going to go." Jessica exited the room quickly, closing the door behind her. I walked up to the door and tested the handle. It was unlocked.

When I walked downstairs wearing a new pair of jeans and a white sweater, I had given up on the idea of escape. I had to get through this process. I wasn't playing the Agency's game anymore. This was a completely new arena, with the Forbidden making the rules. I carried Mrs. Pearce's files with me, along with a card for therapy I would never use. I had attempted to read everything earlier, but to say that the files were boring was the understatement of the century.

Jessica looked a little disoriented when she saw me. "Hi, Ivy." she said, almost nervously. "I ordered some Chinese food for you, is that okay?" I nodded, and set the files down on the counter.

"She tried to cook, but it didn't work out." Carter nearly teleported behind me before speaking. I quickly turned and tried to throw a punch at Carter, purely on instinct, but Carter caught my fist the same way he had caught Finn's. "It's just me," said Carter. "You're fine."

"She's getting nervous," said Jessica. I could understand that she was trying to be nice, but being reminded that she could hear my heartbeat just made me more unsettled.

"What did I say about speeding around?" Jessica asked Carter. "She's still getting used to this."

"I just need a second." I insisted. I walked over to the living room and sat down, dizziness overtaking me. Still, I tried to smile politely at my vampire caretakers.

"See? She's fine." said Carter.

"I'm the nurse, so I can say when she's fine." Jessica shot back.

"Why would they let a vampire be a nurse?" I asked suddenly. I closed my eyes in frustration when I realized that I had said those words aloud. "Sorry." I said. "You don't have to answer that, I just had a Jane-Anne moment."

"My patients aren't human." Jessica explained. "I work in the Forbidden Wing, which is exclusively for Forbidden patients. That's actually where you were earlier."

"That makes sense." I said. "So why did they call you when Rowan was frozen? Was she Forbidden?"

"Rowan was human." said Jessica.

"So why call you?" I asked.

Jessica sighed. "It was a last resort option. Just in case we wanted to do something drastic. I said no."

"You were going to turn her into a-"

"What matters is I didn't. Rowan was unconscious, so she wouldn't have gotten a say in the matter." said Jessica. "Becoming Forbidden is not a delicate affair, and it can be challenging. I feel like when it comes to things like that, people deserve a choice, at least."

"I didn't have a choice," said Carter.

"I don't want to fight about this again," said Jessica. "Besides, I asked you."

"You asked me?" Carter asked. "You asked some desperate sixteen year old kid if they wanted to be immortal. Of course I was going to say yes. You barely elaborated. You didn't even let me see my family, and now you want to preach about choices?"

"You want to bring your family into this?" Jessica asked, her voice starting to rise. I sunk into the chair, not liking the idea of being in a house with two angry vampires.

"Okay." Jessica continued, her anger rising. "Let's talk about your family." Her eyes went from a soft green to a dangerous red. "We can start with what happened to your father." As she spoke, I could see her fangs.

"Stop," said Carter.

"You wondered why I wouldn't let you near any of them, and then the second you got the chance, you-"

"That's enough!" I shouted, standing. I had no idea where my bravery was coming from, but Jessica's eyes reverted to normal right away, and she cleared her throat awkwardly.

"Carter, I'm sorry that I made my share of mistakes after what happened to Rosie, but I am trying to be better. That's the point of Atalka. It's where we learn to be better. I'm sorry about what happened to Rowan, but we are doing everything we can to find who did it." said Jessica. Carter only crossed his arms and continued to brood.

"Rowan was killed by one of the Forbidden?" I asked.

"That's what we think." Jessica confirmed.

A silence hung in the air, and my gaze bounced between Carter and Jessica. A loud knock at the door startled me, and Carter and Jessica turned their heads sharply. Watching the two of them move in sync felt eerie, but I didn't have too much time to process it.

"Hel-" Carter covered my mouth immediately.

"Really?" He asked. I shrugged, as if to say, it was worth a shot.

Meanwhile, Jessica was calmly talking to the delivery guy like she had all the time in the world. When the door closed, my heart sank a bit.

"Carter, can you set the table?" Jessica asked. She revealed a couple of white boxes with the signature red logo of generic Chinese takeout.

I forced myself to calmly walk to the dinner table and sit at the seat with a plate set in front of it. Jessica grabbed my files from the counter and scanned through them.

"Are you guys going to eat?" I felt embarrassed for asking, but I had to know.

"We don't-"

"Okay." I said quickly, cutting off Carter's sentence. The more words I heard related to the Forbidden, the more sick I felt. "Can we just talk about something else?"

"I would love to talk about something else, but I was hoping to walk you through your paperwork," said Jessica.

"That stuff makes no sense," said Carter. He turned to me. "Listen, all you have to do is keep your mouth shut about the Forbidden until we decide that you don't need a babysitter anymore. You'll sign the papers in front of everybody to make a gesture that you'll keep your word. Then the court decides if your word is worth trusting."

"Babysitter?" I asked.

"Yeah." said Carter. "This happened a few years ago with Mr. Delaney, and the town basically tag-teamed following him around until we collectively decided we didn't have to." Carter frowned. "You seem nervous about that."

"Can you stop keeping track of my heart rate?" I asked, frustrated. In reality, I was nervous. If someone was going to be watching me all the time, how was I supposed to keep the Agency a secret?

"This isn't something that you can just turn off," said Carter.

"I'm going to make some phone calls." said Jessica, getting up from the table and taking my files with her. I stared down at my food awkwardly. For some reason, I felt stupid about eating alone.

I glanced at Carter. We were friends, or at least I had thought so. But this entire time, I had been dumb enough to believe that he was normal, despite the mountain of evidence that I only saw now. Not eating, not getting cold, hearing my heartbeat: it was right in front of my face, and I had dismissed it. Some Agent I've been. Just when I thought I had everything figured out, I got hit with this.

"I have some questions." I announced, tired of the silence.

"Okay." said Carter. "Ask anything."

"What's with the family rule and the checkup?" I asked.

"Statistically, we're less likely to kill if we have some kind of family. When the Forbidden moved into Atalka, that became a rule to preserve our lifestyle. Technically, outside of the gate is fair game, but no one's done that for a while." said Carter.

"And the checkup?"

"It was something different before Makaya wanted to change it. She does this thing where she gets in your head and decides whether or not you pass the family rule and are trustworthy."

"Next question: Do you sparkle?" I asked. I had heard enough about Atalka for today, and wasn't ready to process any more. Even though I wasn't allowed to read Twilight, it was still one of the first things that came to mind to break the tension.

"I have no idea what you're talking about," said Carter.

"You know exactly what I'm talking about." I said, rolling my eyes. "Did you ever watch it or read the books?"

"Nope." said Carter.

"That has to be a lie." I said.

"I refuse," said Carter.

"Seriously, you've been alive for..."

"Seventy." Carter finished.

"Seventy years and you never thought about it once?" Before Carter could argue with me that he was definitely older than Twilight, I frowned. "Wait, so you were born in the 50s?"

"According to math, yeah." said Carter.

"So where are you from?" I asked.

"America." said Carter, refusing to get more specific. I leaned back in my chair and waited for Carter to elaborate. "You've never heard of it. It's a small town."

"So what happened when Jessica found you?" I asked.

"I thought these questions were going to be about Atalka," said Carter.

"We're still friends, aren't we?" I asked. "You did save my life from a werewolf."

"Which means that we're even," said Carter. "It's your turn to save me next."

"Can you answer the question?" I asked, curious about how Jessica and Carter ended up meeting.

"I will answer literally anything else," said Carter.

"How can I kill you?" I asked, not expecting an answer.

"Wooden stake to the heart, burn or drown the body for good measure." said Carter without any hesitation.

"Okay." I said, surprised. The Agency usually staked their vampires. They needed to know that they were skipping a step.

I was locked back in the guest bedroom and told to get some sleep for the night. I dug around the drawers for a bit, looking for something. When I opened one of the drawers, I was confronted with a black-and-white photo of Rosie smiling. She looked exactly like me, and I couldn't hide how uncomfortable it felt to see her again. I turned the picture upside down before closing the drawer. Finally, I found what I had been looking for: a pen and paper.

I uncapped the pen and scribbled, Vampires: wooden stake to the heart, burn or drown the body. I could get this to Dad somehow, and then he would...

He would probably kill Carter and Jessica.

I stared down at the paper, trying to figure out what I wanted.

That night, I dreamt vividly.

I could see myself walking calmly by the beach. I could hear a voice call for help, and spotted Carter struggling against the river. I smiled and waved, but didn't move. I watched the sun descend slowly and watched Carter struggle until he slowly slipped below the water. I could feel a hand on my shoulder. It was my father, beaming with pride.

Then, I was walking in the woods with Makaya at my side. We were talking, but without warning, I shoved her into one of the trees. Her head slammed against the wood dramatically, and when she fell, her body was abnormally still. I continued to walk, unbothered, until I found an unconscious Forbidden girl. I calmly dragged her to the river, and let the current drag her body away. I continued to walk, whistling a merry tune, until I was face to face with a giant wolf. By my side, I could see Jessica and Carter, their eyes glowing a bright red. Then, they vanished.

Someone shot the wolf, and it collapsed. I turned to see my Dad holding a smoking gun. He hugged me, and we continued to walk together.

I kept on walking through the woods until it was pitch black. I was standing on a stage, and Dad was giving me a medal. Before me, my family applauded with a bunch of other agents. I made the mistake of turning around.

Behind me, there were bodies that were littered as far as the eye could see. I couldn't make out their faces, but I knew that they were dead. My Dad forced me to turn back around, a big smile on his face.

I woke up in a cold sweat. Quickly, I turned the light on and grabbed the paper with the key to killing a vampire. I've been driven by one thing since middle school, and I wasn't sure who I was without it. But it was time for me to figure it out. I've never been so sure of something in my life.

I ripped the paper into a million pieces.

A/N: So, Lena's mindset is finally starting to change. And now, for the quick life update no one asked for: I tested positive for corona yesterday. So... yeah. It's super mild, and might even be a false positive, but I am back home and quarantined. Wash your hands, wear a mask, and I'll see you again for the next chapter!

QOTD: Who are we going to see at the trial?