Over the next few days, it becomes gradually obvious how much better Natrina seems. Much like I felt liberated simply by being out here, it appears something has bought her into the element. Conniving being that I am, I so badly want to ask her, but I realize I must be very subtle about it.

I go through a list of all the things I could ask to try to pry it out of her, but then again, I don't want to accidentally snap her out of her good mood. I want her to be happy first, and my involvement comes second.

Still... what's gotten into you lately? Feeling a little chipper? Thinking of a certain someone?

Nope, that's ridiculous- who would her certain someone be? I mean, we've only really met girl Canis so far, and Nat's not the type to fall for a Canira.

"Ya know, it's really nice to see your sister coming along." Vivian says as we hit the road on our eighth morning.

"I know! I was just thinking about it." I say, nudging her. "She's acting all lightheaded. It's really odd for her, she's usually so..."

"Snappish?"

"I was going to say reserved. She's more of a logical type, you know? Emotions aren't her strong suit... but she's really smart!"

"You don't need to defend your sister." Vivian says.

"I'm not defending her out of some debt to her or something! She's my sister and I care about her!"

"Isn't that a debt?" Vivian says coolly.

"I just want her to be happy, Vivian. I'm just musing on how strange it is... it's almost like she's in love or something." I sigh, completely exasperated.

"Not everyone acts that way when they're in love, Lotus. With some of 'em, you can't... you can't tell at all." She trails off a bit at the end.

"How would you know? Have you ever been in love, Vivian?" I tease, but her face scrunches up and I worry for a second that I've hit a nerve.

"Me? Do I seem like the romantic type to you?" She gives a dry wheezing laugh at this, clearly forced.

"Yes." I reply.

"What?" she says coldly, shocked.

"No, no. Hear me out. A story of your terrible traumatic past, where you fell in love with a renegade Canira. He promised you his eternal love, but upon a tragic accident, you find yourself parted from him. Though you swore never to love again, you knew in your heart that you would always be thinking of him. Your soulmate. Your one and only."
"That sounds more like the story of your mother."

I withdraw a little bit, a cold lump in my throat. "Are you implying something?"

"N-no! I- for Verhamera's sake, I did it again, didn't I?"
"Did what?" I ask.

"Never mind."

She continues in stiff silence, and I find us falling back to join Aislyn and Natrina, who are talking excitedly about some grand scope of the cosmos. I can barely make out what they're saying, they're talking so fast.

"That's incredible!"

"I know! A world like that... who and what could be that powerful?"
"Verhamera, maybe?"

"But she wouldn't dare interfere."

"No, no. You're right. What if... the alpha is always the timeline wherein no contact with other worlds occurs!"
Aislyn nods, and then blinks upon seeing us. "Oh, hello there! How are you two?"

"F-fine!" Vivian says, clearly flustered.

"Mmmmhm." Natrina says dully.

I look between them, but Natrina's eyes have far less of their usual sarcastic malice. With a swish of her tail, Natrina walks away a little and comes back with a small white flower. "I was going to pick this up if we missed it." She drops it in her bag.

"Oooh, what's that one?" Aislyn asks.

"Those are Angel Feathers. They're actually named after you. They have certain medicinal properties, but they're more often used for when one is close to death. The taste of them is calming, but is also often said to work miracles for the faithful."

Aislyn nods quietly.

Once again, the conversation has lapsed into nothingness, but the rest of the day isn't quiet or sad by any means. We're all just exhausted, and suddenly the rest of the month seems less like an epic adventure and more like dragging my tail across the region.

It's been boring, too- at the most exciting, we came along a stray Felis and Vivian beat him up with her bare paws. Besides that, there have been few Sentients and fewer signs of civilization. The world is large, vast, and painfully empty, though I suppose some would argue that we only need so much.

Vivian starts up the fire with a quick portal and we sit around, taking out provisions and eating them delicately. Knowing your food source is limited takes a lot of the fun out of eating, even with palace quality food. Unfortunately, I end up feeling too queasy to eat another bite after a few tastes of some fancy bird meat that doesn't agree with me.

Stumbling towards the makeshift den, which tonight conveniently has four 'rooms' (bushes are cramped, but when you find four bushes this close to each other, I suppose you can't pass it up) for each of us, I lie down and close my eyes, hoping to fall asleep quickly and end my internal struggle.

"Hey." says someone overhead. I open my eyes and look up to see Vivian. "Can I come in?"

"S-sure." I say, scooching out of the way and up against the branch, which is anything but comfortable.

She sighs. "I didn't hurt your feelings with that comment about your mom, did I?"

"It was rude." I say with a maternal air, then shake my head. "Truth be told, I'm not really offended. I can't really think about my mom without thinking about home, and as much as I love the place I grew up in, I always felt alone there. I never realized how trapped I felt until I was out of there. Now, knowing that they'll grow up and that I can go live my own life, well, it feels like that's all over. I'm still mourning for my mother, of course, but I tend to mourn quietly. No one has to know how sad I am, right? That'll only make them feel worse."

"Really?" Vivian says. "I'm so sorry. Lotus, as my only friend in all this, I just want you to know that doing that takes a lot of effort. You must be really strong to hold it all in."

I nod quietly. "I don't have to be your only friend, Vivian."
"Yes, you do! I can't be friends with either of them!" Vivian practically spits the words out.

I can hear a swish of grass or perhaps leaves as Natrina and Aislyn turn around. I shrink down and Vivian stays perfectly still. "You two okay? We heard yelling!" calls Natrina.

"Fine." Vivian says back.

I whisper, "So... why can't you be friends with them?"

"Natrina hates me and I'm not making the effort with someone who hates me. As for Aislyn... that's far more complicated."

I move a little closer to her, giving her large and mournful puppy eyes.

She snorts. "You don't take no for an answer, do you?"

I shake my head.

"I'll start from the beginning. When I was young, my family lived on the very lowest societal rung of an old city that started from a very specific group of Canis around the time of the great Gathering, when canines and creatures from all worlds came to this one following Verhamera's light. My family was a disappointment, full of pitiful hunters and weak willed and often disloyal members of society. When I was born, they offered me up to the castle as part of a system to get more royal guards. The job is not kind, so it's mainly the weak and the lower ranked who do it."

"What system?"

"My whole family gets food in return for my services. Since the amount of food they get in my absence increases with my rank, I was always struggling to get through, even if I never really knew them or why they sent me away in the first place. I just knew that they depended on me."

"That must have been awful."

"I was never under the impression that it was anything less than a blessing. I grew up with bright and eager to learn Canis who proved, if nothing else, that even lowranks could kick ass whenever necessary. They were my companions in peace as well as rivals fighting for the same ranks. However, my exceptional determination to survive and continue on caught the eyes of the Queen herself. She... assisted in my tutelage."

"So Almalia must have been like a mother to you."

She nods. "I was her favorite. As silly as it sounds, knowing that she has the closest thing she'll ever get to a real daughter, one who understands her dreams and is far more energetic and sympathetic than I could ever be- it's just frustrating. I don't want to take it out on Aislyn, so I'm just going to ignore her." She flicks her ears. "Good enough?"

"You are taking it out on her." I point out.

"Unavoidable."

"No! Absolutely avoidable! Vivian, you have to reach out to them or they'll never be your friends!" I snap. "I refuse to be on a month long journey where one of the members is a snarky, stuck-up, self-pitying featherbrain when I know that she's so much more than that!"

Vivian stumbles back out of the bush, shocked as I continue, getting to my paws.

"I know that she's loyal, a loyal friend, a fierce foe, and above all of that, she's tenacious. That's someone I want on my side. That's someone I want on all of their sides!" My tail flicks towards Natrina and Aislyn. "Please. For me."
Vivian looks down at her paws. "Night, Lotus."

"Good night to you too." I murmur, falling back onto my bed of leaves and finding myself asleep in heartbeats.