Simula
Arden Cojuangco
They say, "life is easy." If it's that easy, then give me what the fuck you do have right now. We switch places. Ikaw dito sa buhay ko, diyan ako sa buhay mong madali. I scoffed. So easy to say, hmm?
On the other hand, I love my awesome life. I had quite a rough journey but that's fine. A little humps won't scare nor break me. I would be that little humps on somebody's life instead.
I spit my own blood on the ground. I received few punches from the enemy but I'm okay compare to what he's going through right now. Hmm.. he's just in a little bad shape. Will he live though? I hope so.
I look at my trembling hands. I won a four minute match and everybody is of course cheering for my name. I smiled for them, proudly. I've got fans! Siyempre, I am their queen. I am the fucking Gangster Queen.
But before I had that title, I was hmmm.. how do we call this, trash? Fine! I was a good for nothing person. Well, until now. But I was worst before.
"Adiiii! Do you remember Markus?" my best friend calls me.
We were in our first year in junior high school. I was on this peak of rebelling against my beloved parents who we know is always busy with their company.
"You know I like him right? Binasted niya ako. Pinahiya niya ako!" beni is about to cry now.
I sighed. Hinila niya ako papunta sa gym kung saan madalas tumatambay ang pangit niyang crush na si Markus. Pag dating namin, namataan ko rin ang ibang tropa. I smirked as I saw Levi forcing himself on some girls' skirts. Disgusting asshole.
Gumulong sa paa ko ang bola ng basketball. Pinulot ko ito bago nilapitan ang grupo nila Markus. When they saw me approaching, all faced me with their annoying grins. Si Markus ang nasa gitna nila.
"Ano, Arden? Nagsumbong ba sa'yo ang obsess mong kaibigan?" they laughed.
I heard Beni sniffed. Any seconds from now, tears will roll down her cheek. Such a crybaby. But she's my best fucking friend. Whoever mess up with her also messes up with me.
"Pinahiya mo si Beni?" I asked, giving him some time to change his attitude towards me.
I dribbled their ball. Marunong akong maglaro nito pero hindi ko hilig. I realized the whole gym went complete silent, this ball I'm dribbling is the only thing everyone could hear.
"Hindi ako pumapatol sa bata at ilang beses ko na rin sinabi na ayoko siya. Ang kulit? Nung niyaya ko sa kama, tumakbo naman. Akala ko ba gusto ako?"
I gritted my teeth. I forgot to mention they're years older than us. They are seniors, like 4th years already. They're taller than I am. Si Levi lang ang matangkad sa tropa pero hindi ko maaasahan sa suntukan ang isang 'yon.
"You could have just decline her properly."
He scoffed. "I don't answer to you, Cojuangco."
"That's sad for you, then." pag ngisi ko.
"Hey, don't act as if you— fuck!"
Hindi pa siya natatapos sa pagsasalita, malakas ko ng binato ang mukha niya ng bola. His nose bled immediately.
"Masiyado kang madaldal." then, I started to attack them one by one.
We were called by the headmistress on her office. Kasama namin ang parents namin. My father who's ever been busy looks nothing, like he's just in a business meeting he needs to deal with. Eventually, I was spared from the punishment and the boys got suspended for two weeks.
You see, my parents is rich, filthy rich. So, I can do whatever the fuck I want because I would not be damned. You just tell them I'm a Cojuangco and poof— you're free.
That's how I earned my courage, and that word led me to being the school's bully.
Binatukan ko ng malakas ang lalampa lampa sa classroom. Sa takot, agad siyang lumayo sa akin at ako ang naupo sa silya niya. Everyone in this school is afraid of me, even the teachers. They can never mess with me.
Of course, my parents ain't happy about that but who the fuck cares. They do what they must and I do whatever the fuck I want. Wala na akong pakialam pagtapos.
Arden, may pinaiyak ka na naman?!" my mother nagged as soon as I set foot on their house. I sighed and went to couch for a rest.
"Their parents are so mad at us! Pwede ba na itigil mo na itong kahibangan mo?" her calm voice almost soothes me except she isn't sweet today.
Natasha Cojuangco is a respected woman in today's society. Even how much they degraded her because she were born a slum, she confidently ignored those and prove them she shouldn't be belittle. My father who were a scion at the time fell in love with a commoner, they married each other despite of the negative remarks of the people around them.
She is kind, soft spoken and smart. But she changed when I start learning the basics of Algebra. Her sweet gestures towards me are long gone. Parang uuwi na lang sila ni Papa kapag kakain at matutulog. Whenever I show them my grade school's achievements, they just nod and proceed to whatever they were talking. Pero nung nagsimula akong gumawa ng mali, napansin agad ako. Dapat yata, ganon lagi ang gawin ko.
"Because Marian spilled her shake on me. Did I cry about that? No! Why can't she just get over her dramas? Hindi nga ako nagsumbong nung nag maldita siya sakin?!" katwiran ko.
"You should have told me! Hindi 'yung isubsob mo ang mukha niya sa inidoro!" her voice, hysterically yet calm as ever. Natawa ako matapos maalala ang itsura nung babaeng 'yon kanina.
Why can't they appreciate me before when all I did was to please them?
"Oh, you are not joining them?"
I look at the man beside me. Umiling ako at nag focus na lang sa mga racer na naghahanda para sa laban. I know how to drive that. I basically know any sport but I'm not just really into those. Although I love watching, and sponsoring.
"How about let's bet who's gonna win?"
"I don't bet, alright? Now please, fuck off!" singhal ko. Agad naman siyang natakot at lumayo ng upuan.
Why would he ask me to bet when I sponsored this fucking event? Is he stupid or what?
I thought being the school's bully will fill that void in my heart. You know, I was sad, alone and longing in that stupid house. I thought, hurting somebody will make me feel alive again. Well, it did for the mean time. Pero hindi, may kulang e.
It feels wrong and disgusting to bully the weak ones. It isn't fair. I should focus hurting those who also hurt others. I realized that eventually.
I started in street fights. I was on my last year in junior high. Alone, dark in the streets, when I beat people up. It was satisfying. Until somebody introduced me the Gangster Lair. Where all the gangsters/low profile criminals spends their time.
Nagising na lang ako sa malakas na kalabog. Sakto pag dilat ko, si Papa na bigla akong binalibag. Malakas na tumama ang likod ko sa cabinet. Fuck!
"Gangster ka?!" sigaw niya.
"Ano naman sayo!"
Napapikit na lang ako ng tumama ang suntok niya sa mukha ko. Napadura ako ng dugo. Putangina! Pasalamat siya at tatay ko siya. Kung hindi, bugbog na rin siya!
"You're tired of bullying in schools now you trying to become a criminal?!"
"Maybe. Maybe that's where I'm good at, where I'm supposed to be because at least you got to look at me. Where were you and mama when all I did was to be good and please you?!"
"Arden, we are working! This isn't just for us! Para rin 'to sa future niyong dalawa ni Ismael!"
"How hard it is to work that you can't even look at your daughter's eyes whenever you're home?!" I shouted.
"You will see once you become adult and start working your ass off just to feed your ungrateful children!"
"Oh, I would never have children like that, Papa. Kasi kapag naging magulang ako, kahit anong busy ko, hinding hindi ko pagdadamutan ng oras ang mga anak ko!"
I continue being a gangster until I reached college. My parents and I had constant fights but we were starting to get used to each other's throats.
My journey were always been so rough, because of the path I have chosen for myself. There's always been blood, fights and jail involved. In today's society, I was that one heiress whose name always on the front page. I was the bearer of the bad news for my family.
But who the fuck cares right! As long as I get to live myself, the way I wanted it to.
Oh, I had a normal life too as a woman. I even loved someone. I giggled. He's handsome, honorable and the most kindest man I ever knew. But unfortunately though, he is not the man for me, because I was too dirty of a name to even be beside him.
"Arden!!!!"
My mother's screamed woke me up. Hindi ko alam kung ano ang dahilan pero ang paraan ng pag sigaw niya, alam mong hindi maganda ang nangyari. Kahit antok pa, tumakbo ako palabas ng kwarto papunta sa kung nasaan siya. I thought she's in their room but I heard a commotion downstairs so I head there.
Ismael is crying on the couch while my mama... my mama who is always been so beautiful now looked in distress, wrecked and lost. I rushed to her aide.
"Your father is dead, Arden!"
Her words stuck in my head. I refused to accept it at first but eventually, I had to. My mother who is mourning couldn't even stand for herself. I was the only sane enough to take care everything.
My father was on his car with his convoy. They are scheduled to arrived at the convention center where he's going to meet his scholars but they didn't arrived. My father was gunned down in an intersection just few kilometers from his office. All of his security were dead too. No survivors.
The whole country were devastated. Everyone needs an answer. The media flocks outside our house, hoping to get answers or hear our side. But my mother couldn't withstand the loss of my father that she temporary lose the ability to speak.
Naging laman kami ng balita. Marami ang nagpaabot ng tulong para samin. All of my father's close friends, business associates offered help to solve this case.
I soaked myself in shower for hours. Could it really possible? I just had dinner with him last night. We were happy talking some things. Our relationship just started to get better. Anong nangyari? Bakit? Sino...
I took care of my father's wake, everything, until we buried him. My mother still could not talk. Ismael and I are the only ones in the family who are going strong together.
"Anong balita sa imbestigasyon?" I asked the chief police.
"We are in the process of retrieving cctv footages from within the area, ma'am. So far, our leads will start on his reported death threats. Nasabi niyo na wala po kayong alam sa mga ito?"
I nodded. "Yes. He hid it on us. I didn't know anything. Kung alam ko... kung alam ko lang!" sana nagamit ko ang kapangyarihan ko para tulungan ang papa ko.
"I understand, ma'am. We will update you constantly. Makakaasa po kayo na reresolbahin natin ito sa lalong madaling panahon."
Isang buwan ang lumipas, wala pa rin update sa imbestigasyon ng pulisya. Pero humarap ako sa panibagong pag subok. Our company is in a crisis. It needs someone who will handle it. I sat on my father's chair in full supervision of my father's trusted attorneys and advisors.
I found out the company is swimming in debt. My father has an active loan in two bank and they will start taking what's in collateral agreement. We will lose all our properties in the country, including my father's majority shares on some of the company he invested. I was advised not to let that happen because we are earning on those shares.
The Cojuangco Empire faced a recession. It is consider the dark ages of every company. Ang pinaka naapektuhan ay mga empleyado na nawalan ng trabaho. Wala akong ibang choice. I'd rather lose here for sometime than to lose everything my father worked hard for.
I couldn't help but smirk on myself. I didn't even know my father was struggling already on his businesses. I didn't even realized his hardships... only because I was too busy to see mine. Pero huli na para pagsisihan pa ang lahat ng bagay.
I stared at the glass of scotch on my hand.
"Time flies so fucking fast, Arden. The tables have turn and you're still shitting there, longing for the man you ever loved. How pity." bulong ko sa sarili.
I smirked. For this last shot. Forget being the Gangster Queen.
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