Chapter 18: Hurt

"You look effortlessly beautiful, baby." Ali whispered behind me.

I look myself in front of the mirror. I was wearing a glittery crimson red long gown with high slit on the left side, partnered with black stilleto killer heel. Nagulat ako ng may ilagay si Ali mula sa likod.

"Anton,"

"It looks good on you."

It's a diamond necklace with a mid size red emerald as its pendant. He also handed me its pair of earrings and anklet bracelet all covered with diamonds.

"Did you bought this? Anton, this is too much."

"When I first saw that in London, ikaw agad ang naisip ko. I had that ever since, waiting for the right time to present that for you."

"You don't need to buy me expensive things, Anton. At tsaka, hindi rin naman ako mahilig talaga sa alahas."

"I know. I noticed that the first time I saw you. But it really looks good on you."

I sighed. "Thank you for this, Ali. But promise me, last na 'to ha? No buying extravagant things anymore?"

Nag kibit balikat siya. "I'm working hard enough to give you the finer things you deserve."

"I am not a materialistic person. So this, I'm grateful. Pero sapat na talaga sa akin ikaw, yung pagmamahal mo. Wala ng iba. I'd trade what I have in exchange of you."

We arrived at the party quarter to 7 p.m.. The photographers took photos of us once we went out of the vehicle. Although we are escorted by Ali's security, hindi pa rin nakaiwas ang ilang makukulit na media na nakalapit.

"Arden Cojuangco, are you really serious with Mr. Anton Zobel?" habol na tanong ng babaeng media.

Bumaling ako sa likod pero pinigilan ako ni Ali na sagutin ang nag tanong. Our hands intertwined when we enter inside. Ginala ko ang mga mata ko para hanapin ang family ko. They are invited here too. Mama's last text was they arrived here already.

I let Anton talk to his associates and business partners. I was introduced every time there will be new faces. Pormal at propesyonal naman sila na bumabati sa akin pero hindi pa rin nakawala ang ilang takas na tingin sa kanila. I guess, it would never change right?

But last night, I have finally decided what's gonna be the best not just for me, but for everyone else closest to me. I have been ignoring them for the past years. I set aside their feelings because I only consider mine.

Nakausap ko na si Jireh tungkol sa desisyon ko. Malungkot 'man para sa kaniya para tanggap niya at susuportahan niya. I said he can still be my assistant, hindi na nga lang sa gangster world.

Yes, I decided to let go of my title and start anew. I called the organizers last night. We talked. It turned out well. Bukas, official kong ipapahayag ang desisyon ko sa harap ng maraming gangsters. I will surrender the title and I will start to live like a normal person.

I'm sure my parents and Ali would be happy.

We met my parents then after them, on Anton's parents naman. We chitchat a bit until the launch starts. Akala ko iba ang lamesa namin ni Anton pero kasama pala namin ang family niya.

Kompleto silang nandito. The Don and Donya, Raphael and of course, beside Donya is Giselle, her favorite. She's sporting a snub look.

I noticed some glances from different tables. Siyempre, ako ang girlfriend pero nandito rin ang ex fiancee. Siguradong iniisip nila na ang suporta ay na kay Giselle pa rin. Nakaramdam ako ng kirot sa dibdib, pero sinawalang bahala ko ito. It's fine, Adi. You don't need anyone's approval for this.

I used to not care what others' think of me. Ngayon lang yata ako nabahala ng husto. I usually just ignore and later roll my eyes on them. Pero ngayon, nasasaktan ako.

Alam ko naman na ayaw ng lahat sa akin para kay Anton. Pero ngayon ko lang tuluyan nalulunok lahat ng sakit. Ni hindi ako makapaniwala na maaapektuhan ako ng ganito.

During meal, it's obvious that they don't want to involve me. Si Giselle lang ang kinakausap nila. Anton's eyes is focused on me. Si Raphael lang ang friendly sa akin. Thinking back, he's already trying to befriend me pero sinungitan ko siya noon sa mall.

They intentionally made me feel like I am a ghost, an outsider to their happy circle. They are doing very well making me feel that way because right now, I'm fucking hurting so much. Masiyadong masakit ang nararamdaman ko. I even felt my left hand got numb.i try to shake it off to ease. Ganon pa rin.

I excused myself for a restroom. Tapos na rin naman kumain lahat. I need to breathe. I was already suffocating in there. Dumiretso agad ako sa restroom. Mabuti na lang ay walang tao sa loob.

Tinignan ko ang sarili sa salamin. You're doing great Adi. You can do this. They are nothing. Anton is what matters to you. Don't let them affect you mentally.

After I gathered myself up, lumabas na ako. I had my courage back, uh-huh. Pero pag labas ko ng restroom, nagulat ako ng makita si Donya na nakatayo sa labas. Why is she just standing there? Malaki ang restroom sa loob. Hindi ko rin naman ni-lock ang pinto.

How much she hates me that she can't stand being with me inside the restroom?

Gusto ko sanang iwasan na daanan siya pero letse, natural walang ibang daan. Mabagal lang akong nag lakad. Ng mag tama ang mata namin, yumuko ako ng konti at tumabi para padaanin siya.

"Hija, stop with the act will you?" pagsisimula niya. Her eyes darted to my necklace. Ngumisi siya.

"You're a thug. A scum. I know you don't really love my son. What is it really that you need something from him?" direkta niyang tinanong.

My jaw dropped. Completely.

Her sophisticated aura are long gone now. Bumagsak ang panlabas na maskara at lumabas ang totoong anyo niya. I get it that she's a respected icon in the business industry. But now, she's like a snake ready to unleash her venom.

"Madam, mahal ko po talaga si Ali."

She scoffed, like hearing a joke.

"I don't care whatever you feel for my son, or whatever it is you're trying to achieve. I'm warning you. Stay out of his life. You are ruining his career!" tumaas na ang boses niya.

Ipinagpapasalamat ko na lang na walang gumagamit ng restroom at maingay din dahil sa sounds kaya walang nakakarinig sa amin.

"Madam—"

"You have no breeding, clinging onto my son's arms like a leech! I have so much respect to Lary because he's a friend of mine. But you know what? I am disappointed with your father for having a daughter like you!"

My heart beats fast. Sunod sunod na kabog na malalakas. Every word that came out of her mouth is like a sharp knife going in my body countless times. My eyes stung a bit. I blinked, and I blinked, to stop this stupid tears from falling.

I have never cried my entire time. Ngayon lang. Ngayon... lang ulit.

"Anton is a good son, successful. You don't fit in his future. You are nothing but a scum worthless thug trying to climb the ladder! Hinding hindi ko hahayaan na gamitin mo ang anak ko!"

"Hindi ko po siya ginagamit."

"At tingin mo ay paniniwalaan kita?! Stay out of his life, woman! He doesn't deserve you!"

Suminghap ako. Hindi ko akalain na maririnig ko ang mga ganitong salita mula sa magulang ni Anton pero hindi ko rin magawa na bastusin siya. He's his mother.

But, I'm tired of hearing this. Pagod na akong makarinig ng panghuhusga at masasakit na salita mula sa iba. Alam kong sinabi kong ipaglalaban ko 'to. But it's his mother. I have to respect her, that.

"Fine. I will stay out of his life. I'm sorry po for the mess." I said. Tumulo ang luha sa mata ko pero mabilis ko itong pinunasan.

"Hinding hindi na po ako magpapakita sa kaniya."

Hindi ko na hinintay ang sasabihin niya. Naglakad na ako palayo sa kaniya. Palayo sa lahat. Palayo kay Anton. I ran towards the exit. The people are busy with whatever is happening in front that they didn't notice me running and crying.

My parents' security found me. Wala ng nagtanong sa kanila. Basta dinala na lang ako sa sasakyan namin at agad pumasok ang family driver. Ng maka alis ang sasakyan, dito na tuluyan umagos ang sunod sunod na luha na kanina ko pa pinipigilan. My whole ride going home, I was just crying.

"Please don't tell this to my parents. Sabihin niyo na lang na sumama ang pakiramdam ko."