Chapter 17: What if

I couldn't hide my smile while watching the Chinese Dragons dance. Ang cute nila panuorin. I look at Ali beside me. He looks cold and grumpy as usual. Some people are looking at us. Baka nagagwapuhan sa kasama ko? Hindi rin kasi siya matago kasi ang tangkad niya.

Nandito kami ngayon sa Chinatown. Ali's day off so I dragged him here. Katatapos lang din namin kumain sa isang chinese restaurant kaya naglalakad lakad na lang kami. I accidentally found out this place when I was browsing on the internet. Isa ito sa pinaka dinadayo kapag palapit na ang Chinese New Year.

"You're not enjoying it?" I asked.

"I appreciate the dragons but the noise, Adi."

Oh right! Masiyado malakas ang sounds dahil sa banda. One thing I learned about him. Ayaw niya ng malakas na tugtog. He losses his focus. I shrugged. Hinila ko na lang siya para puntahan naman itong parang foodpark na nakikita ko.

Busy ako mag tingin sa mga paninda nila ng may maka banga ako. Sa lakas, nabitawan ko ang kamay ni Ali. Agad humarang ang mataas niyang katawan sa harap ko.

"Aba't! Hindi ka 'man lang mag so-sorry?"

Mukhang mahihirap na gangster 'to base sa itsura at damit nila. Lima silang magkakasama at puro nababalot ng tattoo sa katawan. Ang nasa pinaka gitna at siya ring nabunggo ko ay ang kalbo sa kanila na tingin ko leader nila.

"Ikaw ang hindi tumingin sa dinadaanan."

Kahit na ako naman yata talaga.

"Putangina mo ka ah!" the gangster is about to punch me but Ali uses his arm to shield me. Siya ang tinamaan ng suntok.

I heard people grasps. Now, I'm mad. You fucking hurt my boyfriend?

Ali cracked his neck. My eyes went wide. Don't fucking tell me...

"Gago ka!" the gangster shouted, and the fight started.

Sinuntok niya si Ali pero mabilis niya itong inilagan. He used his left foot to kick the gangster's kneecap. Malakas 'yun kaya siguradong bali ang buto niya. Napaluhod ang kalbo sa sahig. Nilagpasan siya ni Ali at inatake ang susunod na kalaban.

Sumuntok ang kalaban pero sinalag niya ito gamit ang kaliwang palad, habang ginamit naman niya ang kanan niya para suntukin ng malakas sa panga ang kalaban. He raised his knee towards his enemy's stomach. Ng
Mapayuko sa sakit ang kalaban, siniko niya ng malakas ang batok nito kaya natumba sa sakit.

Tumakbo ang dalawa kaya natawa ako. Yung isang natira, naglabas ng balisong at ngumisi pa. Inatake niya si Ali pero mabilis nasalo ni Ali ang kamay nito. Hinawakan siya ni Ali sa wrist at pinilipit ito kaya nahulog sa sahig ang balisong. Sinipa niya ang tuhod ng kalaban para mapaluhod ito at tsaka malakas na sinuntok sa batok mula sa likod.

I clapped my hands. Wow. This man got skills.

Tatayo na sana ang kalbo para bumawi pero lumapit na ako agad at tinapakan ng malakas ang tuhod niya na binali ni Ali. He screamed in pain. Tinapakan ko pa ito para mas lalong madurog.

"Let's go, baby. Marami ng nanunuod." I said.

Hinablot ko ang phone ng babae na malapit sa akin ng mapansin ko na kinukuhanan niya kami ng video. I snatched it and drop it to the ground.

Mabilis lang din kaming nakarating sa parking. Ng makasakay kami ni parehas, doon ko lang naramdaman ang hingal mula sa pag takbo. Nagkatinginan kami.

We both burst in laughter.

"That was sooooo..." I couldn't stop myself.

"Well, pwede na ba ako maging gangster?"

"You could fight huh. Where did you learn that?"

"I told you. I do mixed martial arts and judo as a sport. Libangan ko nung college."

Wow! Hindi ko mapigilan humanga. He's got skills. Parang gusto ko tuloy siyang yayain mamaya.

"You might be a good sparring partner don't you think?"

"You'd probably win cause I wouldn't hurt you," he chuckled.

"Now that's boring. Come on, Anton! I'm not a princess. I can take a beating. Fight me, for real."

Instead of heading home, we went straight to Ali's office because the company had an emergency meeting. I don't know what's the problem but it seem serious and urgent. He didn't want to leave me alone in his office but he's got no choice. And I can take care of myself.

Naupo lang ako sa couch para magpalipas ng oras. Hindi ko alam kung kaylan exact matatapos ang meeting but it's been two hours since he left.

The door opened. I thought tapos na ang meeting but who went inside astonished me. I couldn't hide my smirk.

"Bakit hindi ka na lang umuwi sa inyo? Or just do what a gangsters do. Hindi 'yung naghihintay ka na matapos si Anton."

"Why do you always stick your nose to someone's business?"

"Because you're distracting Anton from working. Hindi ka nakakatulong."

"And you think coming here and spit that on my face will help Anton? O ginagawa mo lang 'yan to satisfy yourself?"

"Excuse me?" she sound offended.

Napailing na lang ako at hindi na sumagot. I'd rather read magazine than talk to her nonsense.

"You are just a gangster with a name, nothing else. I don't understand why he's wasting his time on you."

I closed my eyes as I remind myself to be patient and understanding. I breath in and out. Alright, Arden! You won't want to make a scene. She's Giselle. The favorite girl for Anton.

"You're disgusting, know that?" she scoffed. "I'm surprised you ain't covered in tattoos like those thugs. Are you even sober? Adik ka rin siguro ka—"

"Will you shut up? Ang sakit mo sa tenga."

"Oh I'm not gonna shut up, woman. Bakit? Masakit ba marinig na adik ka? I'm just stating facts. What drugs are you taking? You're so cheap—"

Hindi ko na napigilan. Mabilis ko siyang nilapitan. Sa gulat, napa atras siya at napa sandal sa lamesa ni Anton. Lumapit ako hanggang sa magdikit ang katawan namin dalawa.

"Stop blabbering like you know everything, Giselle. I don't do drugs but like what you said, I am a gangster. And do you know what I do to those who won't shut up?"

"You can't threaten me you cheap—"

"Reji Argao, Laude Uytingku... I have sent powerful names to the hospital for weeks. You will not be different if you don't fucking zip your mouth."

Sa inis ay hindi ko napansin na hawak ko na pala ang kwelyo niya at nalukot ko na ito. Binitawan ko ang kwelyo niya at inunat ang damit niyang nalukot. Then, I smiled to her frightened face.

"I understand what you're doing, really. You like Anton and you want to get back to him. But sweetie, if he doesn't want you anymore, you don't pour your anger on me. Because I don't play nice."

That was the last straw of my patience. Usually, bugbog sarado na dapat siya but I held my anger perfectly. I realized, something has changed. Kung noon, wala akong pakialam sa kahit na sino. Ngayon, wala pa rin.

I left her inside hanging like an abused kitten. Pag labas ko ng pinto, saktong dating ni Anton. But I had enough of anger already that I don't think talking to him right now would be a good idea.

"You have a visitor." I said and simply walk out from him.

I let the security I'm going home. Paglabas ko sa entrance, nandon na ang valet dala ang sasakyan ko. Anton is calling me but my mind is definitely on haywire. I don't want to talk to anybody. I heard enough insults for today.

I don't even do drugs. Kung ib-bad mouth na lang niya ako sana yung totoo naman. And I don't understand why she's being like that. She's a total bitch. Hindi nalalayo ang baho ng paguugali niya sa akin.

Nagseselos ba siya na may bagong girlfriend si Anton? Anong karapatan niya? Tingin niya ba mas deserving siya? E bakit ayaw sa kaniya?

Kapag ayaw na sayo, tanggapin mo. Hindi 'yung babalik-balik kapa na parang bobo. You deal with your heart broken and insecurities alone!

Nagulat ako ng makita ang sasakyan ni Papa sa bahay. Ang aga niya naman yata umuwi? This is new.

"Oh, Pa! Ang aga mo—"

"Not now, Arden!"

Nilagpasan niya lang ako na nagmamadali. Nag kibit ako ng balikat. Well, sanay ako diyan kaya hinayaan ko na lang. Kinabukasan, ginising ako ng kasambahay dahil may bisita raw ako.

I opened my phone and saw Ali's texts. I told him to come up here. Bumangon ako para maligo. Paglabas ko, nandon na siya sa kama ko at nakaupo.

"You're early?" I asked.

I went inside my closet and choose what will I be wearing today. Hmm, casual? Wala naman special sa araw na 'to.

"Dumaan lang ako. We will be having a launch party later this evening. Gusto kong samahan mo ako."

"Kaylangan ba ako don, hindi naman?"

He sighed. "You have to be there for me, baby.. show your support at least? Hmm?"

"You know my stand on that. I support you in any way, baby."

"I know, but I want everyone to see. I want everyone to know you."

"Oh believe me Anton, they know me enough." because of my bad image. I rolled my eyes.

Binagsak ko sa sahig ang suot na roba. I felt Anton's eyes fixated on my body. He came closer until he's behind me. I was looking at him through a large mirror in front of us.

He traced my marks, each of them, slowly, as if he's memorizing bits of it.

"You get all this scars just from fighting?" he asked,

Tumango ako. I felt his finger stopped on my left shoulder. He traced the round scar on it.

"How did you get this?"

"7.62mm Tokarev." lumapit ako kung saan ko tinago ang bala na nakuha sa katawan ko. Nilinis ko pa para lang i-display 'to. Katunayan na hindi ako madaling patayin.

"I never saw that on you before."

"I always hid it using my concealer. Ayoko sana but my mother requested it. Para hindi makita kung sakali na mag sleeveless ako o ano."

"What's a tokarev?" he asked.

"It's just an old Russian pistol. I got it from some mob I fought in the bar."

He sighed heavy. "You really had a dangerous life, Adi."

"An awesome life, you mean."

"I wonder if you're ever gonna stop. Gagawin ko ang lahat para talikuran mo ang mundong 'yon at manatili ka na lang sa tabi ko."

That hurt me a little. Nung nakaraan lang, pinagiisipan ko rin yan.

"Anton—"

"Yes, I know you won't. I know it's selfish of me to be asking. Just, what if... you know."

One day, I will have my answer for that question. One day, I'm gonna have to finally choose the right path for me.