Chapter 13: You

"We can't do anything against this place, hon!"

"Shh! Lower down your voice. Magigising mo siya!"

I suddenly remember the day of my first ever acquaintance party. I was in first year high school. I was wearing a cute gown that's only leveled with my knee. Beni is already dancing with somebody. While I was trying my best to smile at anyone, nobody is noticing me. Why is that?

I was the most beautiful girl tonight. Bakit walang may gusto na maka-sayaw ako?

I glanced at my then bodyguard who is standing so still behind me. Baka itong asungot na ito ang dahilan? Tsk! I can't shoo him away. Kapag nalaman ni Papa, mapapagalitan na naman ako. I can't lose my money right now.

Nagulat ako ng may natapilok sa tapat ko. Hindi ko namalayan na may hawak siyang baso at agad nasaboy iyon sa akin. Sa inis ko, malakas ko siyang tinadyakan.

"Tangina?"

"S-sorry, Arden!"

"Ang lagkit na ng dress ko!"

Lalapitan ko siya para suntukin ng awatin na ako ng bodyguard ko. I snatched my arm from him, glaring at him.

"Diba sinabi kong huwag kang makikialam?"

The crowd went silent. That's where I noticed everyone was watching me. Iyong iba, may tingin ng galit, pagka disgusto o kung ano pang negatibong bagay. I gritted my teeth. Sinasabi ko na nga bang walang madudulot sa akin ang pesteng party na ito! Bakit ba ako nakinig sa Beni na 'yon?

Sinamaan ko ng tingin ang kung sino 'man madapuan ng mata ko. Putangina niyo! Bakit sakin kayo nagagalit? Nananahimik na nga lang ako rito sa tabi! Nag kumahog tumayo ang natapilok at nagmadaling tumakbo palayo.

Now, my dress is ruined because of that limp!

"Uuwi na ako!"

"Paano po ang party?"

I attempted to hit him on his stomach but he carefully maneuvered his hand on mine to dodge my punch. Natigilan ako at masamang tinignan siya. Alam kong kaya niya akong ibalibag pero hindi niya ginawa. Para lang niyang pabiro na hinawi ang kamay ko.

Napa daing ako sa kirot na nagmula sa aking balakang. Bakit ganon! Tangina! Medyo numb ang katawan ko pero nananaig yung kirot! I opened my eyes and saw a white ceiling. Kumirot ang mata ko sa hindi inaasahan na liwanag.

Sinubukan kong kusutin ang mata ko pero nagulat ako ng may naka kabit dito. Pag tingin ko sa kamay, alam ko na agad kung nasaan ako. Inalis ko ang suwero at tinapon 'to kung saan. Pinahid ko sa beddings ang dugo na lumabas.

"Ugh! Fuck!"

I tried to move but I immediately felt the stirring pain on my body.

"Adi, don't move!"

Nagulat ako ng makita si Anton. Mukhang tulog siya sa sofa na nasa gilid at nagising lang nung narinig ako. Lumapit agad siya sa akin.

The fuck is this right? Nawalan ako ng gana bumangon. This is so major embarrassing. Who fucking told him to confine me? Pwede naman sa emergency room lang ah? Kapag natahi ang sugat pwede na akong iuwi. Looking at this room, mukhang nasa VIP ako.

"A-are you okay?" nagaalala niyang tanong.

"Are you dumb or what?" hindi ko napigilan maging sarkastiko, "I was stabbed, do I look okay?" umirap ako.

Napansin ko na pinindot niya ang alarm sa bedside. Must be to call the doctor. I sighed! Now, I'm sure galit na galit na naman ang magulang ko.

"God! I was so fucking worried, Arden! How could you—"

"This is my life, Anton. I am a fucking gangster. Stop whining and help me sit." agad niyang sinunod ang utos ko. He lifted the bed pataas para maka upo ako.

"I know! I just.."

"I told you, this isn't for you. Kung hindi mo 'to kaya, feel free to leave. Hindi sasama ang loob ko."

And I'm fucking telling the truth. I have been saying this to him a hundred times. Gangster ako, this thing is normal. Kung palagi siyang ganiyan, baka sa kaniya lang ako ma-stress.

"Really?"

Tumaas ang isang kilay ko, "And you don't believe me? Tingin mo baliw na baliw ako sa'yo?"

Ngumisi siya, "Soon, baby.. that will happen. Anyway, your parents are on their way."

"You want something to eat?"

Pumasok ang doctor. They talked outside so I turn on the television. Balita agad ang bumungad sa akin.

"CEO Anton Zobel's girlfriend was rushed to the hospital earlier. Many believed that it has something to do with her being a gangster. No comment as of now from the Cojuangco empire. Stay tuned for update!"

"Heiress of Cojuangco, stabbed. The heiress sustained minor injuries from an unofficial battle in the gangster arena."

"After this recent incident involving the Cojuangco heiress in a dirty brawl, many are asking: What is Anton Zobel's say in this?"

"I have known Anton for so long. He is honorable, smart and a kind man. I don't understand why he's linked himself with this woman. Is she manipulating him? I don't know! I hope not,"

"This is the first in the history where a known businessman, so successful in his field, get tangled with a gangster, not because of some lousy debt but to be in love? There must be some joke in there, or a manipulating issues. I hope Anton is doing okay!"

And there are many more articles about me. I knew this would really fucking happen. Hindi ko ginusto ito. Ayokong sirain ang pangalan ni Anton para lang sa akin, o kahit na madungisan 'man lang. He doesn't deserve this. He deserve someone with good image, with honor that will uplift his name when tangled.

Bumukas ang pinto. I was expecting Anton or my family pero nagulat ako ng makitang si Jireh ito. May dala siyang basket na puno ng prutas.

"What are you doing here?"

"Queen, kamusta ang lagay mo?"

"Okay lang ako."

"Yung nakalaban mo, natagpuan siyang patay sa apartment niya."

"I remember sparing his life, Jireh."

"3 fatal shot was the caused of his death. Nag i-imbestiga na ang pulis pero isa ka sa hinihinalang suspect."

Natawa ako ng pagak. Hindi ko nga tinapos ang buhay niya dahil hindi ako mamamatay tao tapos ako pa ang pagbibintangan? Tangina naman pala!

"Pero malaki ang alibi mo dahil nandito ka magdamag sa hospital. Nagalit din ang abogado niyo at dahil na rin sa hindi sapat na ebidensya, inalis ka sa listahan. He's a gangster, marami ang kaaway."

I can't imagine my parents and what they are going through right now dealing all my problems. When will I ever fucking stop? Saglit lang kami nag usap ni Jireh bago siya nag desisyon na umalis na.

Ali came inside, along with him is a nurse pushing a cart for my lunch. Medyo nasanay na ako sa kirot at unti-unti rin ay nakakagalaw na ako. Kung tutuusin, hindi ko na kaylangan pa ma-ospital.

Bakit ba kasi sa harap niya pa ako nawalan ng malay?

"You have to eat para mabawi mo ang lakas mo."

"Ali, please let's talk about this."

He shook his head, avoiding my statement. Lumapit siya sa cart para kuhanin ang pagkain ko at dalhin ito sa bed ko.

"This isn't a joke, Ali. Things are getting out of hand. Hindi ito makakabuti sa'yo."

"Who says I'm seeing this as a joke? Adi, you have no such idea how scared I am for you! Alam ko na buhay mo 'to, na sanay ka rito pero hindi ko mapigilan matakot at magalala sa'yo! Yes, you may not care deeply for my feelings because until now you have doubts, hindi kita masisisi because we started on the wrong foot. Pero sana tanggapin mo naman yung nararamdaman ko sa'yo."

Humigpit ang hawak ko sa kumot. Parang tinusok ang mga mata ko at gusto nitong umiyak. Am I really that cruel? This man in front of me, caring so much for me... but heck! Siya rin naman ang iniisip ko rito!

I am a disgraceful! Hindi niya rin ba ako maintindihan sa parteng 'yon?

"I know what you're thinking, believe me, I do. But like what I have always told you, iba ako sa kanila. I don't see you the way they did. Being a gangster doesn't make you any less. When I accepted my feelings for you, I also accepted the whole you, Adi."

"People will—"

"Why do always care about them?! Adi, people will say bad kahit ano pa ang gawin mo. The media, they were made to destroy whoever they want to! Hindi ka kilala ng iba kaya madali sa kanila na husgahan ka. So fucking what?! They don't matter, Adi! They fucking don't!"

"Hindi mo ba naiintindihan na hindi ganitong relasyon ang gusto kong ibigay sa'yo? I want to give you what you deserve, not this! Ito yung dati ko pa na sinasabi sa'yo, na madudungisan ka lang kapag tinuloy natin 'to! Ali, you have a name so fucking successful it put me to shame thinking I was to ruin it!"

"Fuck my name when I don't have you!"

Napapikit ako sa sigaw niya. Tuloy tuloy na umagos ang luha ko. God, why is this happening? I'm sorry... I'm sorry for all the bad things I did in the past... patawad po. But please, if I really deserve him, let us be happy...

"Ali..."

"I question myself everyday why you... I realized, hindi ko kaylangan ng rason. Ikaw lang! You are busy thinking my reputation when I care nothing else in this world but you, Arden, only you!"