𝘚𝑒𝜈𝑒𝑛𝘵𝑒𝑒𝑛.

NOVEMBER.

DECEMBER.

JANUARY.

Time wouldn't stop moving for Melanie Lamont no matter how desperately she needed it to halt in its tracks for her to catch up. Her frail, weak body managed to sink so far into Spencer's mattress that she was sure an indent of her figure would exist in that same position for years to come.

Melanie felt as though she hadn't said a word in three months and that was because, for the most part, she truly hadn't. Nothing of substance, that is. Other than lowly thanking Spencer for the meals he made for her or wishing her friends goodbye when she allowed them to visit, she truly felt still. Cold. Thin. Lifeless.

She hadn't cried in the past month. That was some positive news, she supposed. What she didn't want to acknowledge was the fact that she didn't have any tears left to cry anymore.

Not even for Louise.

Instead, Melanie cradled Oliver in her arms at every possible opportunity. Though the black cat hadn't always been very affectionate (or nice at all, for that matter), something seemed to switch inside of him the moment Spencer set him down at Melanie's feet approximately three months ago.

Oliver offered her what no human could: a companion who could exist in silence alongside her without expecting anything major in return. No matter how much her companions could say they didn't expect anything from her, they quietly did. They wanted her to return to her normal self, to return to work as if the trauma she had endured never happened at all. Melanie wished that she could be just like her team members who had gone through so much yet wore wide grins on their faces daily. Mealnie wished that she could be like Emily. Derek. Hotch. Penelope. Spencer.

Oh, Spencer.

Melanie sent a glassy eyed look towards the closed wooden door of Spencer's bedroom that separated her from the rest of the apartment. Separated her from him. Sometimes she felt like calling his name, knowing that he'd rush to her side and give her all of his assistance as if her life depended on it. There was a major problem with that entire ordeal. Truth be told, she wasn't entirely sure how to ask for help.

After being forced to do everything on her own for her entire life, Melanie never thought that she'd need to reach out to another for aid. In her heart, she believed that she was invincible to anything so long as she had a steady head between her shoulders. Yet she was wrong; the scars and now invisible bruises that covered her body were proof enough of that sentiment.

Unbeknownst to Melanie, Samael Cadell's thrilling letters never stopped delivering to her address even after being met with three long months of pure silence from her end. Spencer knew that Melanie wasn't in the proper headspace to even hear his name again, yet alone be confronted with the news that he had been trying to get in contact with her.

So, he kept that information to himself. How much longer would he hold this information close to him without guilt swarming him with every move he made? Spencer still wasn't sure, but if it meant that he could minimize Melanie's agony by any means, he was certainly going to hold on until his wits end.

Spencer now stood outside of his own bedroom door, his heart nearly beating out of his chest as he held a plate of food in his hand. Well, it wasn't necessarily a meal by his terms. Toffee nuts and green grapes weren't the most nutritious choice for a grieving woman who's only physical activity each day was the five-step walk to and from the restroom, but who was he to judge her? All Spencer wanted to do was see her smile again... and if green grapes and toffee nuts were the key back into her heart, he would continue to deliver them to her at 10 AM promptly every single day that would follow.

"Spencer?" He heard Melanie's hoarse voice call for him from the other side of the door. His eyes flicked towards the clock that hung against his olive green walls, noticing that he'd spent two whole minutes frantically standing outside of his bedroom before acquiring enough courage to knock. "Are you home?" she soon added.

"Yeah!" he said, probably too enthusiastically. Hell, it was the first time Melanie had called out for him in over three months. Who wouldn't be the tiniest bit excited? "I–I'm here," he mumbled, his hand slowly turned the doorknob and he entered the room that was only lit by the overcasted sky that seeped through the window.

Spencer stopped in his tracks when his eyes fell on Melanie (just as they did every other time he saw her). That never stopped, and he was entirely sure that his awe of her wouldn't ever stop either. Even with the ends of her brown hair knotted ever so slightly and her sunken features looking as gray as ever, he still wanted to worship her and every single breath she took.

Distance truly did make the heart grow fonder, and Spencer Reid in all of his glory wholeheartedly supported the narrative. Because every second that he didn't spend by her side was another ounce of his heart that she consumed. Little by little, he was sure that he wouldn't have much left at all. His mother would always hold her own special place, he told himself, but the rest of his being belonged to Melanie — and truthfully, he wouldn't have it any other way.

"Sorry it took so long," Spencer said as he set the plate of grapes down at the foot of the bed. "I got a little bit, uh— distracted," he voiced while running a hand down his cardigan sweatshirt.

The corner of Melanie's lips reluctantly crinkled upward at the sight of Spencer being, well... Spencer. It wasn't much of a proper smile, but it was the best one that he'd seen from her in months. That had to count for something.

"Well, I'll leave you to it then," he hummed. "Let me know if you need anything."

As he turned around, an overwhelming sensation took over Melanie's being. "Spence, wait," she voiced. Spencer's head nearly detached from his neck at the mere speed he whipped back around to face her, his eyes wide and confused. Melanie was just as confused, and the words that followed seemed to remedy that confusion in seconds.

"Can you stay?"

Spencer nodded and crawled to lay on the side of the bed opposite from her, being sure to keep out of her way entirely. Melanie understood his hesitancy to be near her. After all, she'd barely said more than a sentence to the loving man beside her in months. But she wanted that to change. She wanted to change. She wanted to let him back in. She wanted... him.

Melanie instinctively cuddled against the side of his body, his breath audibly hitching in his throat as she did so. Her hand rested on his chest, feeling the patterned breaths that he was attempting to regulate. Spencer's lengthy arm wrapped around her shoulder, the pad of his index finger drawing light shapes into her upper bicep.

"I miss you," she said, her eyes closing as she nested even further into his arms.

Spencer's hand stroked the back of her hair soothingly, being sure to be as careful as he possibly could. "I'm right here," he replied reassuringly.

Melanie nodded. "I don't want to hide anymore, Spence. I'm so, so tired of hiding."

She thought about how the true reason as to why she was reluctant to leave the comfort of Spencer's apartment was because she was scared. Petrified, even. Knowing how much evil truly existed in the world was plenty enough. Experiencing it first hand, however, was an entirely different story.

Samael Cadell may have been in custody, but that would never be enough to put Melanie's mind at ease. Truth be told, she wanted him dead — and she wanted to be the one to do it. Melanie was thankful that Louise was safe and out of harm's way for what was to come. For what she was planning to do.

So lost in her own thoughts, Melanie hadn't realized she was crying until Spencer wiped her wet tears from beneath her eyes. She raised her head to face him, finding his amber irises already locked on her own. It was a look of familiarity, care, and love. Melanie knew that she wouldn't ever feel safer than in that very moment, her body entangled in Spencer's arms and his attention devoted to her entirely. Melanie wouldn't ever forgive herself if she let something happen to him.

She rested her head back down on his chest, listening to how his heartbeat calmed after a few seconds. Melanie and Spencer laid together with their eyes closed for a great while, simply breathing in the air of each other for the first time in what felt like forever.

"I love you, Melanie," he whispered, sure that she had already fallen asleep in his embrace.

Melanie's heart both fluttered and stung at his words. I love you too, she wanted to say. But she didn't. She couldn't — not when so much danger and harm lay ahead in the path she was currently forging. A path towards revenge. Revenge for Louise. Revenge for herself.

At that moment, Melanie's mind was already made up entirely. She can't stay anymore. She needs to leave.

Notes.
sorry for the short chapter after my long ass writing hiatus </3 this was planned to be a filler chapter anyway so :( sorry for that!!! the next one is much more... drama filled 🤫

i missed you guys sooo fill me in! how are you feeling today? about this chapter? about this book in general? hell, about anything! i missed talking to you guys :,)

thank you for those who stuck around and are still reading ❤️ you all mean so much to me!