Chapter 12

Birdie had ignored Remus for a week in a wave of stubbornness she couldn't seem to control. She didn't want to be mad at him, and she knew that as days passed and time without him went on - she wasn't.

It was a matter of him leaving her, him finding a better offer with a stranger he could snog instead of spending time with her. He invited her, that's all she kept telling herself - that her anger came from him essentially standing her up and not seeing him with his tongue down another girls throat.

The full moon would come again in just a few days and Birdie could feel it. The anger bubbling inside her mixed with frustration fuelled the wolf enough to allow a horrible temper to take over her for the day ahead and she wasn't looking forward to it.

She wanted Remus, it was plain and simple, and she was too proud to admit that to herself - to anyone, really. But the wolf inside her seemed to want him too because he was the only thing on her mind, his warm hugs and the calm he radiated and even if he was angry or in one of his moods, too, he was still able to help her.

She could see him as she walked into the classroom they had together. Transfigurations with McGonagall wasn't the worst class that Birdie had, it was good actually, but her entertainment usually came from Remus who sat with his head down at their seat. She was surprised in the week she had been ignoring him that he hadn't moved but he also tried to talk to her every chance he got.

She just didn't let him.

But today she didn't care about it, she had forgiven him long ago and she just needed someone to lean on and for that someone to be Remus.

"You know," an amused sounding James Potter gently moved her from the door, "the door is for everyone, Birdie."

She turned to him, eyes drooping with tiredness and bags formed evidently and she looked as though she hadn't slept in three weeks. James had his suspicions about Birdie, of her moods and the similar effect this certain time of the month had on her, but she wasn't afraid to rule it off as her period when anyone asked.

It could be entirely coincidental that she got her period around the time of the full moon, it didn't automatically mean she was a werewolf and no one was going to try and challenge her meaning when she looked ready to kill them.

"You alright?" James soon asked, seeing her frown and her lack of talking. He noticed with her new friendship with Remus that she seemed happier to have some company, but right now she was as lonely as ever and Asa and Nolan hadn't helped that.

She had only seen Asa once when she walked by him and Nolan and he wished to talk to her, but Nolan grabbed him and hurried along. The frustration only rose, Nolan was clearly angry with her for some reason or another, but she didn't care about that - she wanted Asa back, but Nolan could jump off the astronomy tower for all she cared.

"Yes," she nodded, voice quiet and uncertain. James was entirely unconvinced, scoffing even to show just that and she frowned. Remus hadn't noticed her come in, or he just wasn't making it obvious that he did, "is Remus mad at me?"

"Remus is mad at himself," James said, folding his arms, "and he's in a really pissy mood right now, but don't think that means he's mad at you. He can't really help it, gets these terrible migraines."

Birdie sighed, nodding and thanked James with a small smile before hurrying off to her seat beside him. He didn't look up from the desk, didn't move a muscle to indicate that he knew of her presence but at the moment, he didn't care. He was already having a shit day, he didn't want to make it worse by pissing off Birdie even more.

His hand was on display just beside her, and she dropped her bag under the table as she stared at it, wondering if she should take it or not. She very much wanted to, and she moved her hand slowly over to his hesitantly, stopping just short of his arm and soon, she took it.

Her hand ran over the skin of his softly, a nudge to show that she was there, and he knew it was her through the tiny hole of his arm in which he could see her small hand running with scars along her knuckle wrap over his.

She moved closer to him in her chair, crossed legged atop of it and leaving little room between them, "James told me you had a migraine." Her voice was soft, like a gentle tune playing above the harsh chatter of the rowdy classroom that McGonagall had yet to enter and Remus' focus stayed solely on her hand and her voice.

"I'm not mad at you," she mumbled with the same softness to her voice, "not anymore, I don't care about that anymore. I don't care about the party or you kissing that girl - you're allowed to do whatever you want and I just...overreacted."

"I stood you up," he whispered, finally lifting his head and she had to bite her cheek to stop herself from saying anything. He looked...terrible. She didn't like to say that because terrible didn't come close to ruining just how much she liked to look at him, but she wanted to know how to stop the pain he was in.

To get rid of the bags under his eyes, for the colour to come back to his face and lift him up - he was so pale, sickly looking and horribly tired looking and she hated it.

"Everyone does stupid stuff, Remus. You didn't know I was there yet, and I'm sorry." She squeezed his hand, but he shook his head.

"I should be the sorry one - I am sorry. I'm sorry for standing you up, I'm sorry for not waiting on you. I wanted you there - I only wanted to be there to spend time with you," he shook his head, eying the classroom, "do you want to go somewhere?"

"Now? Remus class is about to start!" she practically exclaimed but he merely shrugged, grabbing his things and shoving it into his bag as quickly as he could, and she hesitantly followed suit, picking up her bag from the floor.

"I don't care," he said, tired still and the aches of his body pounding when he stood, and she could relate, "come on, before McGonagall sees."

-

By going somewhere, Remus meant his dorm and Birdie was far from complaining. She had fallen onto his bed as soon as they arrived, and sleep found them both when he lay beside her and she automatically curled into his side.

The full moon had taken its toll on the both of them, unbeknownst to each of them. It never crossed Birdie's mind that Remus could possibly be like her, if she had just looked at the signs and allowed herself to be a little more observant then she could see the clear resemblance of their situation and their scars, but she just didn't want to.

She couldn't fathom the thought of Remus going through the same pain she did, she couldn't bear to think that his bones shifted and broke in the night and twisted to accompany a wolf much bigger than him. He didn't deserve that pain, he didn't deserve such a life and Birdie didn't want to think even slightly that it could possibly be true.

Birdie woke up later in the evening to a darker room illuminated by the small light of ignited candles and the moonlight shining through the window. Remus soundly slept under her, though light chatter floated around the room and she could have easily fallen back to sleep curled into him.

It wasn't the first time she had fallen asleep on him, and she didn't want it to be the last. In fact, she would've stayed there forever if life allowed her to. The warmth of Remus seemed to lure her to sleep but it didn't overcome her, and she instead listened to the sound of chatter from the boys.

"Should we wake them?" Sirius asked. She knew it was Sirius from his voice, just across from them on his own bed and talking to James and Peter.

"I don't think we should," said James, leaning against the headboard, "don't want our heads ripped off by Moony, do we?"

"Course not, but Remus hasn't eaten since this morning and I don't think Birdie has eaten at all!" Sirius all but exclaimed, eyes snapping to the two on the bed to make sure he wasn't too loud.

"They'll wake up at some point," Peter said, "they both looked like they needed sleep more than anything. Plus, I don't think Remus would be very happy with us waking them up considering Birdie has just forgiven him."

The two other boys hummed in agreement, murmuring small "that's true" thoughtfully. Birdie snuggled closer to Remus, a tug to her lips when his arms wrapped around her tighter than they had been, and she wondered where they stood in terms of...well, something other than friends.

She had, in her anger, admitted to being jealous of seeing him kiss another girl and she wondered if Sirius was more loyal to telling Remus how he felt than keeping her secret. She was sure Sirius hadn't told him, but in the chance that he had, Remus hardly acknowledged it and she wondered if that was a good or bad thing.

A hum left Remus' loops soon after the chatter had died down and Birdie lay there contently listening to the rise and fall of Remus' chest. She wondered what James had meant, Moony, it was a clear nickname and she was smart enough to realise he meant Remus though it was the name itself that struck a chord.

She wasn't smart enough to figure it out, well, that's what she told herself. Her suspicions that she had forced herself to the back of her head where starting to peak out, but she was ignoring them, ignoring the very thought of Remus' scars being anything but clumsiness.

"What time is it?" a tired Remus spoke quietly, rubbing his eyes with his arm, not under Birdie and trying not to move too much so as not to wake her. He ran his hand through her messy hair, brushing it out of her face gently so as to see if she was still asleep and she had closed her eyes.

"Just after seven. You alright, mate?" asked Peter, a small smile for his friend tugging his lips and Remus merely nodded, soon yawning and tightening both arms around Birdie, "how long have you been up here?"

"Since transfiguration," Remus said, his voice deeper than usual with sleep still trying to lure him back, "Birdie looked like she needed a decent sleep, I'm just...worried."

"Worried about what?" asked James, putting down the book beside him and sitting up, "about Birdie?"

"About y'know my migraines," Remus trailed off. He had a look on his face that Birdie hadn't seen and as much as Birdie was very good at pretending to sleep, Remus and the boys weren't going to talk about his lycanthropy if there was any possible chance that she could hear, "about them affecting Birdie."

"In the way it affects you, or you affecting her...with the migraines?" Birdie frowned, they had completely lost her, and she was far too nosey that it allowed her mind to wonder. The way they were talking seemed all too confusing, but they had all murmured their own opinions on such migraines that she was suspicious, surely, they weren't actually talking about...migraines?

Remus shifted ever so slightly, worry allowing his eyebrows to furrow and a sigh escaping his lips, "in the way that they affect me," he finally said, brushing the hair from her face once again and hoping his suspicions were wrong, "I just hope...I hope that I'm being stupid."