For some fucked up reason, knowing that Jace and I are on good terms is the only way I'm able to be downstairs where the party is going on, surrounded by alcohol and drunk teenagers who I envy.

I'm learning to accept that I have feelings for him that never went away and may never go away, so I'm not as hard on myself for feeling that way. Instead, I turn it into a positive thing. It's helping me get through this... but it's still kinda pathetic.

"Hey," Brooke says, standing in front of me, shifting nervously.

"Hey, Brooke. How you been?"

She sits down on the couch beside me, a little more relaxed. "I'm good. What about you? You've been kind of AWOL."

"I'm... better." Just been suffering with heartbreak from more than one guy and hiding in my house 'cause I'm scared if I go outside I'll be murdered by one of Johnny's friends.

"We've been worried about you. Max said you're having a hard time."

I know Max hasn't spoken to Wesley since everything happened, so I hope he's not found out about my suffering. I don't want him to know that he upset me; then he wins.

"I'm here... if you ever want to talk or anything."

"Thank you, Brooke, that means a lot. I'm sorry I haven't made much effort." I actually do feel bad. I just always isolate myself from people when I don't feel good.

"No, don't worry. I get it. We really do need to hang out more though," she smiles. "I've missed you."

"Awww," I tease, "I've missed you too." I lean in and give her a hug while we laugh.

"I'm gonna go get another drink, do you want-" she cuts herself off as realisation sinks into her features.

"No thanks, I'm good," I smile, hiding the anxiety I feel from wondering what people have heard about my alcoholism.

She leaves just as Val and Montana come into view, Montana basically carrying Val over to the couch.

"Valentino, fucking walk you dickhead!" She complains and eventually throws him down onto the couch and huffs.

Val tries to pull himself up into a sitting position but repeatedly fails. Montana stands, seeming like she's about to walk away but decides against it and sits beside him and his head falls onto her lap. Seeing my brother in this state makes my stomach turn.

"Why's he so fucked up?" I ask, concerned.

"He took some dodgy shit off of some dodgy dude. I told him not to 'cause it's fuckin' stupid but he did it anyway."

"Yoooo," Val moans, "the trip I'm havin'... fucking crazzzzz..."

"Good for you," Montana rolls her eyes.

He lifts his hand and moves it around. "Like, bro. My hand is so in focus right now."

"Okay."

"Those people behind my hand... like, they be like... so not in focus. How do I make them be?"

"Don't care."

"Should we take him upstairs?" I ask.

"He'll just come back down and probably fall down the stairs. It's better just to stay here where I can watch him."

Despite how disgusting they both are with their drug habits, I'm glad they have each other to look out for one another. Montana's protective over Val just like I am. She's basically family.

Val's words turn into gibberish and the more he talks, the more sick I feel. I spot Brooke and a few other girls in my grade standing at the other side of the room so I walk over to them.

"Hey, mind if I join?"

"Oh my God, hey Yasmin!" One girl says called Holly. She gives me a hug, along with the two others. They compliment my outfit which is a black leather bralette and black diamanté shorts. It's the first time I've made effort in what feels like forever as I'm just starting to get my confidence back, however I'm not yet ready to go make out with guys again and sit on their laps like I'd usually do at parties. I don't even know if I want to do that ever again. I'm over men.

Holly gives her phone to another guy in our grade and asks him to take pictures of us, so we all pose and take cute pictures, and then funny ones. Some random guy jumps into the photo and poses with us as if he's our best friend and we all laugh. He gets in between Brooke and I and puts his arms around us. At the last photo he kisses me on the cheek.

I'm a little taken aback, but I don't react. He's cute. If I was drunk I'd probably get with him. 

"Damn, you're the hottest girl I've ever kissed. Wanna give me a real one next?" The boy puckers his lips. And the cute ones always have to ruin it by opening their mouths.

"Who even are you?" I laugh along with the other girls.

"I'm friends with Val. Now, how about that kiss." He leans into me and I'm about to slap him for having the audacity to even try it, when he is yanked back by the collar of his shirt.

Jace stands with a cup in his hand and turns the boy to face him, being stronger than him despite only using one arm. "Not today, buddy."

"Yo, chill man. Don't be a cock block."

My jaw drops and Jace's jaw tenses for a second before he laughs it off, then gives him an intimidating, almost scary look. "Fuck off."

The guy takes the hint and walks off with his hands raised in surrender. Jace turns to look at me and my chest tightens from the eye contact.

"That was so sweet, Jace," one of the girls say and the others nod in agreement. "You totally saved Yasmin."

The corner of his mouth twitches into a smile as he continues to look at me. "Dance with me?"

Ah, fuck. The last time Jace and I danced together he ended up pressed against me with his lips on my neck.

I hesitantly take a step forward while the other girls give me excited looks, as if they're happy for me that Jace Daniels is asking me to dance, thinking he likes me. If only they knew about his declaration of love to me a few nights ago. I wonder if he still feels that way of if he realised it was stupid and changed his mind like he usually does.

We walk away and Jace puts his hand on my waist and pulls me against him. "You look hot."

I look around, worried about people looking at us – something I normally wouldn't care about – and take a step backwards. "We're just friends... remember?"

"What? Can I not compliment you?" He smirks, knowing what he did there was more than a friendly comment.

He takes a drink from his cup and when he lowers it I look inside it, wondering what it is. It smells like whisky and coke – a drink I hate yet I still feel myself craving it.

He notices my reaction. "So I hear we've went backwards with the alcohol obsession," he comments. "Does this mean it'll be too dangerous to get you to casually drink again?"

I look down, wanting to promise that I can handle it just to get a taste of the alcohol, but knowing it'll do more harm than good. "I guess."

He places his hand under my chin and gently lifts it up. "Hey, it's cool," he smiles.

"Come on," he grabs my hand and pulls me into the kitchen and pours his drink down the sink.

"You didn't have to do that."

"I do what I want."

I roll my eyes although I appreciate it. I move bottles out the way on the counter then jump up to sit on it. "So, how was prom?"

"Dunno, I uh... never went."

"What? But you were dressed for it? Why the fuck wouldn't you go?"

"Didn't see the point. I never had a date."

"You still should've went and had fun with your friends."

"I just didn't want to, okay?" He snaps.

"Whatever."

I look down but am surprised to see someone in a white t-shirt suddenly very close to me. When I look up I see a handsome face I don't recognise. He's very tall and has beard stubble that makes his jawline more defined.

"Excuse me," he says in a sexy voice while reaching behind me for a bottle of alcohol. He keeps eye contact with me and smiles a little while moving away back to the people he was with.

Jeez. Where does Val find these people?

"You could at least try not to drool," Jace makes a snarky comment.

"I wasn't drooling. But damn, he's got to be a model."

"He's not that hot."

"Is that jealousy I hear?" I tease.

"No. You know I don't get jealous."

"Oh really?" I jump down from the counter and slowly start to move towards the guy and his friends. "So you wouldn't care if I just went over and-"

He grabs me under my arms and lifts me back onto the counter while he stands between my legs. I feel breathless.

"Don't be a bitch."

"Hey!" I lightly slap his cheek. "Don't call a girl a bitch!"

He slaps me back, even lighter than I did to him. "Don't call me jealous."

"You are. Just admit it." I slap him again and he groans and grabs onto my neck. The action turns me on more than anything else. Fuck my life.

A smirk forms on his lips as he watches me. I bite my lip as my stomach fills with butterflies. "Admit you have feelings for me."

"No."

He pulls me by my neck closer to him. "So how come you haven't told me to get my hand off of you then?"

The butterflies in my stomach intensify as he moves closer, his eyes on my lips and mine on his. For a second I want to let him kiss me, just once, but right when our lips are about to touch, I speak.

"Because what girl doesn't like a little choking?" I remove his hand from my neck and push him backwards.

"Damn."