21

"You know, Jax said he was after you too. Maybe if we're together all the time we're an easy target. We should probably split up."

I start walking away as fast as I can but am pulled backwards by my bag. My arms flap around to help me keep my balance and stand up straight again.

"Stop actin' like you don't love having me around." Alex puts his arm around me and we start walking down the corridor. I spot Wesley and Tyler ahead of us, and when he sees me we both smile.

I pull away from Alex again, about to go to Wes when Jace stands in front of me.

"Guess who's fuckin' kicked off the team."

"They kicked you off?" I ask in awe. "That's a little too far."

"Yeah, he only knocked a guy out, fucked up his jaw and put him in hospital," Alex states and Jace and I roll our eyes.

"Harris said I should be happy i'm not getting kicked outa school. Like, oh yeah i'm jumping for joy. I get to stay and learn equations that i'll forget about in ten minutes instead of doing something I actually enjoy."

"Harris is a prick."

"He's not that bad," Alex defends.

"Yeah, cause he likes you."

"He likes you too."

"Please, he's making me go to alcohol therapy."

"He wouldn't spend his time organising for you to go there unless he cared 'bout you."

"Why are you guys..." Jace gestures to Alex's arm around me. He clears his throat and takes his arm away.

"He knows about what happened on the pier."

"Wait, Jace knows?" Alex asks.

"Yes..."

"¿Por qué?"

Arms wrap around Alex's stomach, and we all look to see Amelia. Alex smiles when he sees her, hopefully forgetting about asking questions.

"Hey, baby," he says before giving her a long kiss. I cringe and look at Jace who's watching me with an amused smile, then take this opportunity to get away.

+++

"Let's... hang out," Wes says breathlessly between kisses. Things are getting heated in this corridor with people walking past and heading to the exit.

"I can't," I pull back and his lips move to my neck. "Alex won't leave me alone. I'm supposed to be waiting for him at the doors right now." I close my eyes and sigh with pleasure from the feeling of him sucking on my neck. It would be nice to be alone.

"Why?"

"Uh, he doesn't trust me... cause of... alcohol," I lie and meet my lips with his again.

His hands slip around to my back and slip lower, almost groping me when I hear the dreaded voice.

"This isn't the door."

I turn around slowly, only to see that Jace is also with Alex. Great.

"Definitely isn't the door," Jace agrees.

Wes slips his arm around me and rests his hand on my hip. Jace narrows his eyes.

"I'm goin' out with Wes-"

"No you're not," Alex cuts me off. I'm trying to hard not to start on him.

"I gotta go," Jace sighs. "My mom's here and we're going to a fucking kids birthday party."

"I'll meet you at the car, Alex."

He thinks for a moment. "Fine. If I'm waiting more than a minute i'm calling the cops."

"Ha-ha," I say, unamused and hoping he's joking and isn't that crazy.

They walk away and I turn to Wes again. "Count on the girl that everyone wants to have the most overprotective brother in the damn universe," he says.

"Trust me, not everyone wants me."

"Trust me, they do. Anyone that hears me talk about you instantly joins in, expressing their feelings about the ways they'd like to fuck you."

"You talk about me?" I ask, ignoring everything else he said. "To who?"

"Just..." he looks away, obviously regretting saying that. "Tyler, Brooke, you know. Anyway, you should go... get Alex."

I furrow my eyebrows and laugh. "Okay."

We walk out and through the parking lot while I rant about how badly I want KFC but am trying to be healthier until I spot Alice running through the crowd of people towards us, Jace following.

"Yasminnnnn!" She hugs me.

"Hey, Alice in wonderland."

"That's not my name anymore!"

Jace reaches us and puts his hand on her shoulder. "Sorry, she need a leash."

"Shut it," she shoots back. "Yasmin, you should come to our friends birthday party! Then you can stay over again-"

"Alice," Jace cuts her off and Wesley shifts beside me. "Just go back to the car." 

"What?" She says, oblivious to the reason she shouldn't have said that.

Jace sighs and pulls her away. I stare ahead, feeling Wes turn and look at me.

"When did you stay with him?"

"A while ago."

"When?"

"...A few days ago."

He turns around and runs his hand through his hair. "I'm done with this."

"I was hanging out with my friend. Nothing happened."

"I don't believe that."

"Why? We didn't even sleep in the same bed."

"I told you that it bothers me how you're always with him and you just go and stay at his house?"

"I was- I-" How can I explain why I went there? A guy almost killed me so I decided to go to Jace's house but I don't even know why I went there instead of Brooke's or something.

"Cut him off or we're done, seriously."

"You can't ask me to do that-"

"So you're choosing him?"

"No, I didn't say that."

"Then what's it gonna be?"

"Can you calm down for a second! You're actually telling me to stop being friends with someone or you'll dump me."

He steps towards me quickly and unexpectedly and I take in a short breath. "Because how can I know you're not messing about with him behind my back? If you really don't have feelings for him then you'll choose me, and if you don't then i'm better off."

"Hey, pussy face. I don't like your body language right now."

I've never been so relieved to have Valentino's speciality of randomly popping up.

Wes takes a step back from me and looks Val's beaten body up and down, probably understanding why he suddenly is calling him names like pussy face. Wherever that came from.

Santiago stands behind him like my second guard dog, giving Wes the same glare that Val is.

Wes looks back at me, his eyes more hurt than angry now. I start to feel guilt. "Text me what you decide," he says much quieter then walks away. 

"What's the drama today?" Santiago asks.

They both look at me as if they actually wanna know, although maybe Val just wants to know cause he lives for drama.

"Tell you when Alex takes me home," I roll my eyes and turn around.

"Race you!" Val yells. "Let's go, run," he tells Santi.

"No gracias."

"I'm the one with the broken bones, stop being lazy."

I don't have the energy to join in on the weird conversations that us three usually have so I just walk away while wishing I hadn't even got myself involved in relationships again, and forever wishing I could just be happy.

+++

I glance for the millionth time at Wesley across the cafeteria. I didn't text him last night – I don't know what to do. Jace is kind of like one of my best friends. I can't just cut him off even though it's what I should have done a long time ago.

I've been trying not to look at Jace sitting across the table from me. It feels like i'm sinning in some sort of way and I hate Wes for making me feel that way.

Montana drops down into a seat beside Val. "Dude, I have a date."

"¿Con?" Val asks.

"Isaac Wilson... I haven't even slept with him yet."

"Doesn't sex come after the date?" Amelia asks and Val and Jace snicker. Alex looks down at the table, smiling and trying not to make a sound. Trying to pretend he's not a huge fuckboy at heart to Amelia. "What?"

"Who goes on a date before sex?" Jace laughs.

"A person who doesn't revolve their life around sex," Santiago says.

"And when's the last time you got laid?"

"He's a virgin," Val says as if it's not a big deal, picking through his pasta with his fork.

Jace laughs. "You're kidding."

"What's wrong with that?" Amelia says defensively.

"Yeah," I agree and kick Jace under the table.

I watch Santiago, wondering why he's not speaking up to tell them he's not a virgin. I know he's not because he used to go out with this girl for a couple years and he lost it to her. Except she cheated on him and Santiago hasn't dated since.

"Nothing... that's completely normal to be an eighteen year old virgin."

"Aren't you just the expert on virginity?" 'Tiago narrows his eyes and I look away. My god lets not go there.

"You could say that."

"Because you've taken how many innocent girls virginity?"

Sweet Jesus.

Jace laughs awkwardly as if this doesn't bother him and everyone sitting here just stares nervously at the table.

"Any fifteen year old girls who you've hurt just for the fun of taking virginity?"

"What's your problem?" Jace snaps. "Your ex broke your stupid little heart so you're taking it out on me, is that it?"

"No, it's 'cause you're a dickhead and you think you've gotten away with what you did."

The whole mood has completely shifted and Jace looks panicked as he looks at me. "You don't know what you're talking about."

"I don't? Because you didn't get away with it cause you felt guilty for a few days? Do I understand now?"

"Stop it, Santiago," I beg.

"Shut the hell up," Jace's hands ball into fists on the table. "I know you can be a dick because of your pills but don't take it out on me."

Santi laughs coldly. "Why are you bringing up painkillers? This is about what you did to my sister when she was fifteen and you still walk around like you're proud of it."

I wish I could zap myself out of existence right now.

"I'm not-" Jace takes a breath and looks at me again. "I don't-" He's breathless and tripping over his words. It's painful to watch. Finally, he gets up and makes an exit as fast as he can. Santiago just goes back to his food as if nothing happened.

"Damn, I love the dramatic exits that happen at this table," Val comments, completely unfazed by the awkwardness.

My eyes go to Wes one more time to check he's not looking, then I get up and follow Jace out. I can't let something like this go or everything will be weird the next time I see him.

"Jace," I call but he keeps walking. "Jace!" I say louder. He goes outside and walks to his car, pulling out a cigarette from his pocket. He lights it and gets into the drivers seat but leaves the door wide open.

"You didn't have to follow me."

"I know that."

He takes a drag from his cigarette and I hold my breath. "Yasmin, what happened two years ago was-"

"You don't have to say anything," I interrupt. I also don't want him to say anything because I hate thinking about it and Jace and I have never actually spoken about it.

"No, you need to know that not a day goes by when I don't think about what I did and regret it. And I know we don't talk about it and that doesn't mean that I don't care or i've forgotten because I'll never forgive myself for it. Fuck, I hate myself for it. I never ever want anyone to hurt you but I- I did."

His eyes are desperately searching for a reaction from me, and I stare blankly at him. What he said triggered something in me and the only thing I want to do is hug him and cry and tell him that it's okay but it's not okay but it is because maybe I changed for the better and maybe I won't care one day.

But I won't let myself do that. I can never be with him, I won't let myself. The voice in my head will never allow me. It's painful in moments like these to hold back when my feelings for him really come out. Wes is right, I do like him as more than a friend and perhaps he does too but he'd never want anything serious.

What if this is all meant to be? Wesley was supposed to open my eyes and stop me from being friends with Jace. Maybe that's what I need to stop these feelings. I've been torturing myself for years being around him and craving him but never allowing myself to have him.

I don't want to lose Wes, especially over a dead end like Jace.

"I don't think we should be friends anymore," I blurt out.

His face falls and he stands up. "Why? Because- What?"

I think of the only reason to give him and say it. "You hurt me, and I can't forgive you for it. Every time I'm with you i'm reminded of it and I can't do it anymore."

"I'm sorry-"

"I hope you can understand."

It takes a few moments for him to straighten and close his mouth, looking at me in a less desperate and sad way. He nods, "I understand."

I don't go back to the cafeteria. Instead, I hang out in the bathroom and let myself cry but yet I haven't decided what part of this i'm exactly crying about.

After a good twenty minutes I settle for the reason being a little bit of everything, and a little bit of how someone tried to kill me and how I drank that night when I had decided I was going to stop, and how Jace made me feel less guilty about it and I cry harder over how I won't have him as a support system anymore.

It's for the best, I remind myself. Now you can be happy, now you can be with Wes and forget about Jace.

Wes and his friends fall silent when I stand in front of them after school.

"Can I talk to you?" I say and one guy whispers something to another, but I ignore it. Wesley hesitantly walks away with me, far enough for his group not to hear.

"What's up?" He says and slides his hands into his pockets while his eyes look me up and down.

"I talked to Jace... told him that I don't wanna be his friend anymore."

He nods. "Cool."

"Lo siento, cool? I cut off one of my best friends and all you have to say is cool?"

"Sorry-" he sighs and looks over to his friends. "Thanks, I guess." He takes my hand, "That means a lot to me."

"It better," I mumble.

"I'll treat you to dinner to make it up to you, deal?"

"Chinese food. And all the candy I want."

"Anything."

I lips twitch into a smile and it feels like the most exhausting thing i've done all week. "Okay."

"I'll come over later," he let's go of my hand and walks back to his friends. I turn around and straight away see Santiago's face.

"I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable earlier."

"Whatever, it ended up being helpful."

"How so?" He walks beside me towards Alex's car.

"Gave me the perfect opportunity to tell Jace don't wanna be around him anymore."

Santi's eyebrows furrow. "You don't? Since when?"

"Since Wes said he'd break up with me if I kept being friends with Jace."

He stops walking and looks over at Wes. "That's like, extreme jealousy. What's wrong with you? Why would you give in to that?"

"Porque I like Wes and I don't want to mess up our relationship over Jace who I shouldn't even still be friends with. You're the one who always asks me why I still tolerate him."

"But you didn't do this cause you hate Jace, you did it for Wes's petty jealousy."

"So what?"

"You deserve better than him."

I pause and glance at Wesley rolling his eyes at something then laughing. He treats me great most of the time and he's amazing and hot and funny and kind, this is just a setback but it's over now. "No, I don't," I say.

+++

i have two more months of school then study leave and exams and then i'm a free women who's going to college hehehehsmjcksivd i pray that i get into the college i wanna go to though but it's so hard to get into bc every actor where i live wants to go there 😩 pray for me

teaser: jace shows up at the fuentes house and stirs some troubleeeeeeeeeee

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