Triggering contents ahead:
"I am scared, Jin," Arya whispered.
Jin remained silent but his hands were assuring Arya to open up.
"They..." Arya stopped once she started again.
"Tell me everything."
Arya got up and went to her room. When she came back, she had a packet with her. She dropped the packet in front of Jin.
Jin looked at her with questions in his eyes.
She opened the packet to let Jin have a look inside.
Jin picked up a plastic vial full of tablets.
"Antidepressant."
Jin read the name and remembered what he knew about her. She was prescribed high doses of antidepressant and anti-anxiety pills after she got released from the hospital.
"What you don't know is, I need to gulp down a bunch of them just to get up from the bed every morning. Sometimes I see the faces, I can hear the voices I have shut down for good. They said it's PTSD. But you know what? It's not."
"Not?"
"No. I feel guilty more than I feel the fright, and if I am afraid, It's not because of the horror, but because of who I have become." Arya wiped away her tears.
"They made me kill people, Jin. Innocent people. You don't know who I have become. You have no idea."
"Arya..."
"Innocent people, woman, children..." Arya was trembling uncontrollably now, "you don't know me, Jin. I am not the girl you used to know. She is already dead. I am just her shadow."
"It's not your fault, Arya," Jin said quietly.
"No?" Arya chuckled, "I don't think so, Jin. I killed those people. No matter who controlled me or what, I can't deny the blood on my hands. I can't sleep anymore. I get up every five seconds. I have to take the meds every hour just to avoid panic attacks. You won't understand."
"Arya..."
"I know you'll look at me differently from now on," suddenly her voice broke.
"How?"
"Like I am the monster." Arya's voice dimmed down, "You are the only thread that connects me with my past. My only friend. And I am afraid that I'll lose the only friend I have just like that. You'll despise me, hate me, never want to see me again."
"I'll never do that." Jin was still composed, "I thought you know me better than anyone!"
"I do?" Arya asked quietly, "You are always so upright, Jin. So true, so honest. How would I expect you would stick to me even if I have fallen into the darkest chapters anyone can ever assume?"
"That's why you didn't tell me anything?" Jin frowned a little,
"afraid I might leave you on your own?"
"It's selfish, but I don't want my last days to be alone."
"What did you say?" Jin was a bit surprised.
Arya remained silent.
Jin remembered Jeremy saying, she is a ticking time bomb.
"Arya?"
"Why do you think I quit the job, Jin? Why did I want to live a normal life working as a fucking cafe waitress?"
"... "
"Here." Arya put down a bunch of vials in another smaller packet,
"I was an experimental subject there, Jin. They tested their different chemical nerve agents on me. Here...see this one?" Arya pulled out a vial with a light blue solution in it,
"they called it Type x99. A new addictive drug for torturing people. I was the first test subject. And I am the only one still walking."
Jin quietly took the vial in his hand.
"Amusing thing is, turned out this drug can cause serious addiction if it doesn't kill you immediately. So they tested its effect on me for a long time. Three to four times a day. Sometimes five."
Jin's jaws clenched slowly.
"No antidote discovered yet. Turned out I'd just die when I'd stop taking it. They ruined my body like that. Before I ran out, I took a stash with me. And these are my last supply." Her voice was calm this time.
Jin counted the vials in front of him, she has probably another two months' worth of stock.
Jin looked at her eyes, shocked.
"Yeah. That's it." Arya smiled a little,
"My time is limited, Jin."
And she quietly added, "I thought about ending it before it happened. I tried a few times only to fail at the end of the day. It's..."
Jin was staring at her.
"It's too scary," Arya admitted defeatedly.
"I feel guilty for what have I done to all the people I owe to. I feel like an animal every time I try to survive for a few days more from the prying eyes of my enemies. I did everything for surviving, knowing all along that these are just waste. I can't avoid death."
"You won't die."
"I decided to live for a few days I have in me. But whenever I have those panic attacks, those anxiety attacks, I tried to end those every time..."
'"Arya..."
"I am just a wreck, Jin. You can't find your old friend there in the wreckage. You know what the biggest joke is?"
"What?"
"That I am still trying to survive." Arya scoffed.
"I don't want to live. I have grown enough to know there's nothing this life can offer me anymore. There's no will left to survive. At this point, I just want to die peacefully. But you know what? Even after all this, I am scared to die."
Jin didn't know what to say.
"I have seen how other test subjects died. It's a very painful death. And I am scared to death to die like that to the point that I decided to end it myself. But I couldn't do it, rather all I could do was grasp even straws to survive. Why am I such a coward, Jin?"
This time Arya was trembling with a surge of cry.
"You are not a coward, Arya. You are a tenacious strong woman."
"Now you know. I have nothing to hide anymore." Arya wiped away her tears, "You must be thinking how pitiful I am! Always on the verge of breaking down!"
"Don't be so hard on yourself."
"I am glad you brought me here. It's a nice place to die. What do you think, we will live here for two months?"
Jin got up from the chair and took one vial in his hand.
"What? You possibly don't think I'll just sit around and watch you die!" Jin's voice was calm.
"There's nothing you can do. It has no antidote."
"Then we have to just make one." Jin's voice was stubborn.
"Jin...Seokjin..." Arya started.
"Don't change it. It has always been Jin for you."
"Yes, I heard a whisper around from time to time," Taehyung's voice came from the opposite side of the Satellite phone.
"Can you find the source of it?"
"People associated with this x99 project all vanished, Hyung." Taehyung said calmly, "either got killed or just disappeared."
"How to stop the effect of the drug then?" Jin asked quietly.
"Just keep her healthy. I could have used some help though."
"What do you need?"
"A sample of the drug. I could make some phone calls, some contacts, and try myself to figure it out and see if they can make an antidote out of it."
"I'll send it to you tomorrow. Keep an eye on the shipments from Marshal island, I'll send it in airmail."
"Meanwhile, keep her healthy, make sure this eating disorder doesn't kill her before this drug does."
"How?"
"How?" Taehyung almost chuckled in amusement. "Just make her eat. If you insist on her, she'll just end up throwing up again. Do something that she makes herself eat regularly. Can you do that?"
Jin remained silent for a few seconds in his thoughts,
"Write down a few things. I need those within this week. Ship those to Marshal island, Chamiyu will retrieve those once the schooner goes there."
"Roger."
After putting down the satellite phone, Jin looked at Arya.
"How are you sure they can help with this matter?" Arya was a bit confused, "How can Taehyung figure it out?"
"Told you, he was from the special attack division of the police.No?"
"Yeah," Arya responded unsurely.
"Well, he was a CSI there."
"A forensic expert?" Arya frowned.
"A genius."
"How come he is a forensic expert and IT expert?"
"How come you are a top-level hacker alongside a special agent?"
"Fair enough." Arya nodded, "Now what should we do?"
"Nothing." Jin shrugged. He was kind of glad that Arya didn't hear what Taehyung has suggested to him from the opposite of the phone. All she knew was that Jin asked him to look into the drug components and try to find out a solution to it.
"Ok." Arya frowned sarcastically, "Sounds like a plan!"
Arya got up from sleep with a sudden harsh sound coming from her closed door.
She almost stumbled on her duvet while getting out of her bed in a hurry and opened the door as fast as she could.
In her utter surprise, Jin was there, with a metal stick in his hand, casually hitting the metallic railing of the stairs beside her room. So far she could remember, Jin hates noise.
His house was the calmest place of probably in the whole of Seoul to the point it almost felt like a crime to make any noise there.
He even objected whenever Arya went too loud with her enthusiasm.
In his words, the noise was chaos.
"What the hell? Jin! I was scared to death!" Arya fumed.
"Get ready."
"For what?"
"Your training starts today. Meet me at the hall, in five minutes."
"What?" Arya was surprised.
"Hurry." Jin threw a packet at her.
"Jeez! Who are you?" Arya yelled in surprise catching the packet. Jin was the most mannered man she has ever seen, he'd never toss something to her face in this ungentlemanly way.
"Where is your manner?"
Jin just left without any words.
Arya came back to her room and opened up the packet. There were some light dresses suitable for training and exercise. The sizes were big, clearly, those were Jin's. But she could fit in those be it a little oversized. Arya almost groaned seeing the size of the shoulder.
But her curiosity was winning her over once again, and she quickly changed into a tracksuit and came out in the hall room.
Her eyes were already widened seeing the complete one-eighty turn of the room. Two punchbags were hanging from rings, there was a giant mat on the ground. One trade mil and a few things made the room look like a gym come training pit.
"What on earth?" Arya frowned,
"Have you gone mad? How the hell these things came here?"
"These were always here," Chamiyu interjected, "Mr. Kim brought these with him when he came here. And few new things came in a shipment at Marshal island. The schooner will go there tomorrow, I'll bring them over."
"And what will I do?" Arya again frowned.
"I was instructed to carry on the training. Gonna need to pass the next ability test once I go back." Jin answered.
"Ability test? You mean tests for the instructors?" Arya frowned. She remembered Yoongi saying Jin was an instructor at the place they called "The Pit."
"Yes. They select the mentors every two years. I need to pass that test."
Jin answered.
"And?"
"I need your help." Jin shrugged a little, "You know it's much more efficient when it's done in pairing."
"Huh!" Arya scoffed, "why would I pair up with you and let you train me? I am already enough trained. I am not competing with you!"
"Come on!" Jin calmly disagreed, "You were the biggest rival I had ever got. Where is the spirit?"
"Nope. I am enough."
"Really? I don't remember you winning over me in Libya last time. Sure you can't defeat me here either!" Jin shrugged.
"Trash talking, huh?" Arya laughed.
"Maybe?" Jin raised his one brow. "I know you are trained enough. Just help me out, ok? I'll transform you into something you can't even imagine!"
"Desperate, huh?" Arya laughed, "I guess I can help you, but what is my gain in it if I let you train me inhumanly?"
"A chance to get to defeat me, probably?" Jin shrugged.
"I can defeat you now." Arya smiled.
"Not sure about that." Jin was still straight-faced, "You got no muscle or no tricks up in your sleeve!"
"Ooooh..." Arya booed, "Is this only insult you have got in you?"
"Intriguing enough?"
"Well, what do you say we will fight at the end of the training?" Arya raised a brow. "I will agree to it only if you agree to fight me in unarmed combat once again. No backsies!"
Jin shrugged casually and took off his tracksuit, "Deal."
"You shouldn't wear a t-shirt below tracksuit, bare is beauty!" Arya mumbled and instantly regretted it. It will be embarrassing if he noticed her words.
"Alright, what should I do?" Arya stepped on the mat enthusiastically. She didn't have anything to do either. It should be fun.
"Warm-up?" Jin asked Arya.
"Fine." Arya rolled her eyes and went towards Jin.
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