Tommy ignored the sand that slipped into his shoes as he wandered on the coast behind the house. The view of the ocean was really pretty, but also brought back some bad memories of exile.

He wasn't quite sure why he had come down there. He had been kinda looking around, exploring the place while Levin and Malachi took a nap. He had promised to play with them once they woke up, so he would have to return back home on time for that.

He was slowly getting used to everything at Phoenix Drop. There was a lot that he had seen never before. All the new animals and items amazed him. And the way the villages worked here. Every one of them had a Lord and the Lord had their guards. All the villages worked the same way. It wasn't the same kind of mess as the Dream Smp. Back there they had so many different countries with different leading styles, and of course there was his brother who only wanted anarchy. Tommy couldn't blame him though, he had seen anarchy as well and knew how it worked.

Then he heard footsteps behind him. He spun around to see the blonde guard, Garroth might have been his name, standing a few blocks away from him.

"Good day Tommy," the guard greeted him, slowly stepping closer. He kept his tone polite and friendly. Aphmau had told Tommy that all her guards were really amazing people.

"Hey," Tommy answered with a nod.

"Since you live in Phoenix Drop now, I thought to ask you if you would like to become a guard. A village can never have too many guards, especially in a time when the enemy is breathing on our neck." Garroth made a gesture towards the ocean, where Tommy knew Lady Katelyn's ship remained. "You are still young, so I cannot expect you to join us. But I am giving you an option. You can either take it or leave it. I do not know what kind of past do you come from, so I apologise incase my offer hurts you. If you do not want to join us, it will not matter. Not everyone wants to be a guard and we respect those as much."

Tommy was kinda taken aback about this sudden offer. He hadn't expected it, nor did he know what to think about it. He was a child soldier after all, one that had fought multiple wars.

"That is an interesting offer," he admitted thoughtfully. "Could I get some time to consider it?" he asked.

"Of course," Garroth nodded. "Take as much time as you need. When you are done, you can come tell one of the guards or Lady Aphmau. And do not worry, we are prepared to teach you everything you need to know about fighting and being a guard, incase you decide to join us."

"Thank you, I will think about it," Tommy answered.

-----

Tommy laid in bed thinking about whether or not he should take the offer. It did seem quite interesting, and if he was a guard, he could protect those who he loved better.

After tossing around in bed for quite a long time, he sat up and pulled out the book from under his pillow. He decided that now was the perfect time to write to Tubbo.

Dear Tubbox,

I, Theseus Thomas Watson, the biggest man alive, have just received an invitation. It's a very POG invitation. I can become a guard of Phoenix Drop. And think about it, how cool is that? I could be a guard and protect all the women. Women love strong and brave men, don't they?

I do know how to fight. I could impress all the guards and make them think that I'm awesome! This is the first time I've been asked to fight! Usually I'm just forced to, but now the head guard, or whoever that prick - actually no, he's not a prick, he seems like a fun dude - was asked me! He asked if I wanted to join the guards. That's very poggers. I might as well take that offer. Then I could also prove to Techno that I'm a good fighter. I do miss him, and you too, and all the other cool people there. I wonder how you're doing, mind telling me?

My hair's been growing longer since you exiled me. It's almost to my shoulders. I should probably cut it now that I can, but for some reason I think I might actually like it. Oh no Tubbo! But then I might look like a woman! Women have long hair! How can I be the biggest man alive if I look like a woman? No, men can also have long hair. It won't make a woman, don't worry Tubbo. If my hair is a bit longer, I'll still be the biggest man alive!

So, how's L'manberg? You're still the president. (I kinda miss when Wilbur was still the president.) Is the country still standing or has Technoblade come and bombed it, screaming "Anarchy!" That would be kinda funny tho, not really, but kinda. No, he can't blow up L'manberg. L'manberg is too important for that. You better keep it safe from Techno.

Hey, how are the nights there? Here they are so peaceful and quite. It looks so beautiful. Everything here is way more prettier than there. Sucks to be you bitch! (I'm sorry Tubbo, of course you're not a bitch, bitch boy!)

I'm starting to get tired now. It's pretty late. I should go to bed now. Thank you for reading my bullshit, Tubbo.

-Your Tommy.

-----

The book slipped under his pillow. Tommy decided to sneak out of his room and go get a glass of water from the kitchen before going to sleep. He had to be really quiet so he wouldn't wake anyone up.

The moment he opened his door he jumped. Zoey stared back at him with wide eyes, seeming also kinda spooked by herself.

"Tommy, I wasn't expecting to run into you at this hour!" Zoey said once she recovered enough from her shock. "What are you doing up?" she asked softly. Tommy would never admit that he had grown to love when someone actually showed him that they cared. Zoey was a good example. The way she looked at him and spoke to him, Tommy almost wanted to just throw himself into her arms and cry.

"I couldn't sleep, so I was on my way to go get some water," he answered, keeping his voice quiet so he wouldn't disturb Aphmau and the boys.

"Oh, would you like a cup of calming tea?" Zoey asked, there was a bit of pity in her eyes. "It could help you fell asleep."

"Sure, why not," Tommy shrugged. He decided to leave out a joke about the tea being drugged with some kind of sleeping medicine. That would have most likely concerned the elf quite a lot.

-----

"Is there something in your mind? Something bothering you?" Zoey asked as they sipped the hot tea in her room.

"There's just so much new here, it takes time to adjust to everything, you know," Tommy answered. "And a lot of new people as well," he pointed out, taking another sip from his cup.

"I see," Zoey hummed. "If you want to talk about it, I will listen, and I know that Aphmau won't mind doing so either," she told him with a soft smile on her lips.

"Thanks.. I'm not used to being treated like this, to be honest," Tommy admitted with a pitiful chuckle. It made Zoey furrow her brows.

"I'm sorry to hear that," she said quietly, taking pity in him. "But I promise you that people in Phoenix Drop care about each other. Aphmau, I and the boys care a lot about you, and Lady Irene watches over everyone even if you didn't believe in her," she promised him, placing her hand on his shoulder in a comforting manner.

"That.. that means a lot.. Thank you.." Tommy mumbled, cheeks flushing. This was not what he was used to.

-----

The next morning Tommy woke up to Levin jumping on his bed, excitedly chanting: "Play! Play! Play!"

"Fuck! Play! Play!" the little blonde chanted, hitting his small hands against his older brother's arm, trying to get his attention.

"Tommy! No! 'Fuck' is a bad word! You can't say that!" his older brother exclaimed, already regretting his decision to accidentally say the word and get it to become the child's first word.

"I'm sorry, I couldn't hold him back," Aphmau apologised as she stepped into the room after Malachi.

"Don't worry, it's alright." Tommy brushed it off. "Good morning Levin. Do you want to go play in the sandbox?" He ruffled the young boy's hair.

"Yeah!" Levin's eyes widened with excitement and he began tugging Tommy from his sleeve.

"I guess I'll go play in the sandbox with the little ones then," he chuckled to Aphmau, picking Levin up.

"Have fun!" Aphmau smiled.

-----

"Garroth asked you to become a guard, didn't he?" Aphmau brought it up as the two of them were feeding the dogs.

"He did," Tommy nodded. "I haven't made my decision yet. It's actually a quite hard one to make," he admitted.

Aphmau stopped. "Whatever decision you make, I'm sure it's the right one. And becoming a guard is not the only option out here. There are many different paths from which to choose from," she told him with a soft smile on her lips.

"You're my property now and therefore you will fight for me. I don't care if you don't like that idea. You are my gladiator and if you fail, you die."

"Tommy, this is our L'manberg! And you will fight for it, won't you? You won't betray your brother or your country, will you?"

"Look, L'manberg no longer needs you, Tubbo no longer needs you. But guess who does need you? I do need you! Look Tommy, I'm your friend, and XD is your God. Together we will follow him, its almost like the old times, but now it's way more better!"

"Just take your time and make a choice that you think is for you. If you don't like it, you can always chance to a different one!" Those were the words Tommy had always wanted to hear. He was finally offered a chance to make his own decision.

"Wow, I.. I need a bit of time to explore everything I could do," he decided, smiling.

"Take all the time you need, you're still just a child, you have time," Aphmau assured him.

Yeah, he was still just a child. A child, who had fought countless wars. A child, whose hands were stained with so much blood it could fill up a whole river. A child, who didn't even remember what being a child actually meant.

But now, now it would get better. He promised himself that.

Words: 1831

[31.10.2022]

Happy Halloween everyone! And it's my birthday as well :D Now I'm 17- Feeling kinda old-