"In everybody's life there's a point of no return. And in a very few cases, a point where you can't go forward anymore. And when we reach that point, all we can do is quietly accept the fact. That's how we survive."
― Haruki Murakami

REMY'S POV

I quite enjoy silence, in general. People talk too much, as if they were constantly competiting with each other to make more sounds, to take more space. 

However, there are different kinds of silence. Peaceful silences. Tensed silences. Meaningful silences. Akward silences. Silences that are answers in themselves. 

I have never, ever experienced a silence like this one, though. The entire room just feels so cold. Neither of us is moving. I'm not even sure Nour is breathing.

Thankfully, Matthias was subtle enough to discreetly leave the room. It is pretty obvious that Nour doesn't need a public right now. I asked him if he wanted to be left alone but he shook his head negatively. 

Thanks God. I feel much better knowing I can stay here and keep an eye on him. 

I eventually decide to sit on the bed, and pat an empty spot on the bed near me, but Nour just looks at me with dead eyes, without moving an inch. 

Message received. Of course, he wouldn't want any physical contact right now, if ever again. I know deep down that the guy needs a huge and so much more. I want to take him in my arms,  cocoon him in a bundle of covers and keep him in my bedroom forever. But I can't do any of that if he doesn't want me to.

 How am I supposed to comfort him by using mere words? And to say what? Everything will be fine? I will bring you the head of that godamn rapist?  I can't promise that to him. 

It's just so unfair. He was starting to get better. He was opening up. He was healing, I could tell.

"It was that night when you, Amine and Matthias throw a party at the house. The day before Amine told me to leave" Nour says suddenly. 

"Huh?" is my dumb reply, as I was not expecting him to start talking. He has stayed silent for over twenty minutes!

"The night when I was raped" he clarifies, matter-of-factly, making me wince. "I got home early, nobody was there and I was feeling depressed so I had a few drinks. Well, more than just "a few drinks" but that's not the point. I passed out and when I woke up, I felt this burning pain in my lower back. I thought nothing of it, since I used to have this kind of pain from time to time after all these -erm, intense make-out sessions with Will".

"But... you knew something was wrong, didn't you? You knew this time something was different?" I ask hesitantly. 

I don't know how to handle the situation. For once in my life, I don't know what to say. Nour is talking in such a robotic manner, it is impossible to know what he is thinking. 

"I - well, that asshole, Axil I think is his name, he did tell me something that I found a bit weird, but I was so disgusted by the guy that I didn't try to analyze what he was saying. I just thought he was crazy"

"What did he say?"

"He said something about me being much more obedient a few moments ago, and it made no sense at the time, since I had never met him. I didn't know he was as much a pervert as his big brother"

I nod, and try to convey all my feelings through my gaze but he averts his eyes and I feel my heart tearing up in my chest. 

"Nour" I begin tentatively. "You know I will always be there for you, right? I won't let you deal with this on your own. I lo-"

"Don't say it!" he interrupts angrily and I take a step back. It hurts, but at least he is now showing a little emotion. Anything is better than his former apathy. 

"Okay, Nour, but you know what I meant to say. Don't forget it! I will do my best to find this rapist and I don't care if he is from a powerful family among shifters. I will - "

"It doesn't matter" he interrupts me once again. "It won't change anything"

"Nour, if you need to talk, if you need anything, I'm here."

"I don't want to talk about it. There's nothing to talk about. I'm not talking about it with you or anyone else, not now and not ever. But, please Rémy, can I ask you something?"

"Yes? You can ask me anything, Nour"

He nods, and his face softens a bit. He seems hesitant, his lower lip is trembling slightly and I have to force myself not to rush forward and gather him in my arms. This is a boy on the verge of breaking down, who is trying his hardest to build a calm facade for himself. 

But it only lasts for a few seconds, before his expression hardens again and the mask falls back into place. 

He looks tall again. Detached. Untouchable. 

Bullshit.

"Don't tell Amine about it. The guy worries too much already. Besides, there isn't anything he can do" he says firmly.

"Nour, you need to talk to someone at some point. It can be me or your brother or anyone else but please, don't shut everyone out" I plead him softly. 

He doesn't listen, of course. 

 "You have to promise me not to tell anyone, Rémy. And please tell your brother to do the same, since he apparently can't hold his tongue. The guy must have been a parrot in a previous life"

"Nour-"

"Promise me, Rémy!"

"Alright, alright, I promise" I accept reluctantly. 

He nods, seemingly satisfied, before opening my bedroom's door. After checking that none is coming, he opens the door wider. 

"Nour, wait!"

"What?" he asks without looking at me. 

"What are you going to do now?"

"Avoiding reality"

"You - how?"

"I have my own ways. They are pretty effective" he laughs humorlessly and I'm glad for once that he isn't facing me, because I can no longer prevent the tears from running down my cheeks. What is he going to do? 

"Night, Rémy"

"Good night, Nour" I whisper and watch him close the door behind him. 

I will be there for him. I want to help. I won't let him take the path of self-destruction. 

I swear, Nour. I will do everything in my power to protect you. 

I don't want you to be hurt ever again. 

Please, let me help. 

RENAN'S POV

"Hi, Flora" I mumble to Will and Oli's roomate. 

"Hello, sweet" she replies with a bright smile, apparently not at all bothered by my lack of enthusiasm. 

She has put a nice green jacket on, and yellow high heels. I, like every other Sherlock Holmes in the world, have come to the conclusion that she is going out. 

What can I say? She seems lovely but I'm not exactly in a talkative mood right now. I want - I need to go home and these guys had no right to force me to come back with them. 

"How are you, what do -" she frowns then starts sniffing "What do you smell like cu-"

"Oh, God, Flo, stop being so straightforward!" Oli interrupts her, grabbing her arm before leading her out of the kitchen. 

I hear hushed voices, Flora giggles a bit, then Oli is back in the kitchen, with Will on his heels. 

I say nothing, letting myself drown in an ocean of embarassment as Oli takes a seat next to me, before starting to hum softly. 

Nobody says anything but after a while a delicious odour of bacon and poached eggs can be smelled. 

Oliver gets up and starts setting the table. 

Wait. 

"Oli, why did you put three plates on the table?" I ask innocently. 

"Obviously because we invited our invisible friend Casper to dinner" Will helpfully comments. 

Smartass. 

"Thanks for cooking, but I'm not eating with you guys"

"You are" Oliver says quietly, not bothering to look up from his phone. 

"Nope. I'm not hungry so I'll just go to bed. "Qui dort dîne**", as the Frenchies say. 

"What?" Oli asks, looking dumfounded. 

"Nevermind what he meant" Will declares. "He is eating with us. You're skinny enough as it is, chick"

"This is the last time you're telling me what to do" I protest, before exiting the kitchen, slamming the door a little harder than necessary. 

However, before I even have the time to climb the stairs, I'm being grab by the waist and firmly pressed against the wall. 

Strong hands puts my wrists above my head, before spinning me around. 

I thought it was Oli, but it's Will. I don't know what to think of this guy, he is pretty confusing and for some reason I am always nervous around him. 

"Come back in the kitchen. Dinner is almost ready" he says nonchalantly, as if he wasn't holding me up against a wall. 

"I told you I am not hungry" I snap, refusing to give in. 

"You need to eat. You should take better care of yourself"

"Oh, come on, Will! Don't pretend you give a flying fuck about me!"

"You want to watch your tone with me, chick" he warns me calmly, but for some reason, seeing the oh-so-chill-and-sarcastic Will suddenly so serious and intimidating makes me shiver. 

Oh, God. It's hot in here, isn't here? 

However, there's no way I'll let him see the effects his dominating attitude has on me. 

"I told you to call me Renan, doggie" I yell, exasperated, and instantly regret it when Will's expression darkens. 

Oops. What animal is he, already? A ladybird? Yeah, that's it, he is a cute, harmless ladybird. 

I keep my eyes down as minutes go by. He eventually grabs my shin and I half expect him to bitch-slap me but I guess I don't know this guy because I'm suddenly pulled into a solid, warm chest. 

"Will, are you -" I start, but my voice is muffled in his chest. He smells kinda nice. No, fuck that. He smells really nice.

"Hush, Renan. I'm not usually so mushy, so just enjoy it while it lasts" he interrupts me but for once his voice his soft, as he holds me tightly in his arms. 

After a few moments of us just standing like that, my tensed body finally decides to give up with his rebellious attitude and I just slump against Will. 

"Good boy" he praises me before cupping my cheeks in the palm of his hands. "Now, we're going back to the kitchen and you're going to eat, even if it's just a little, okay?"

"Okay"

"Excellent" he nods with a somewhat stern expression, which looks weird on him. 

He takes my hand in his and leads me back in the kitchen. Oli looks down at our entertwined hands but wisely chooses not to comment, instead gesturing for us to take a seat. 

There's already food in my plate: bacon, eggs, and even mashed potatoes. 

I don't really want to eat but I can tell they won't let me leave the kitchen before I've had at least a few bites so I carefully dive my fork into the mashed potatoes. 

It's simple, but really good, I have to admit it. Much better than my "ketchup on bread" usual meal. 

I raise my head and Oli smiles at me encouragingly, while Will gives me a thumb up, so I keep eating. 

I live to please, remember?

I have almost finished my plate when I realize something is wrong. 

First, they didn't eat anything. 

Second, I suddenly feel dead tired. I don't mean it as a way to emphasize the fact that it's been a long day. No, I've never felt this tired in my entire life,  tired as if I have been druged and can't control my body anymore. 

Wait, did they really... 

"Assholes!" I whimper softly before I'm lifted up from my chair and carried out of the kitchen in Will's strong arms. Oli follows us, my unlocked phone in his hand. 

"No! That's none of your business" I protest but my voice is now very weak and I know I'm seconds away from losing the fight against the Sandman. 

"You'll be mad at us tomorrow, Renan" Oliver whispers, his hand lightly caressing my leg. "For now, you're just going to rest properly. We're staying with you. You'll be just fine"

 "Don't fight it, just sleep" Will adds, looking down at me with an unreadable expression. 

And that's what I do. 

** (translation) : "Qui dort dîne" = who sleeps, eats. We usually use this expression when the dinner was a bit too light (or when there was no dinner at all) and we're going to bed straight after. It implies that sleeping makes up for the lack of dinner (it never does, ofc ^^)

A/N: Okay, so this chapter isn't my fav but - oh, well, it will have to do! Hope everyone managed to stay as cheerful as a fucking unicorn today! #mondaymotivation

And I know this chapter is pretty sad, at least for the first part! I hate it when my baby Nour is in pain but hopefully Rémy will manage to help him!

Wishing you all a brillant week!

Don't resist temptation xxx

#hasnoshame