It was the first American show and Yu-Jun stared at the faces filing into the arena before mic check. Maybe she couldn't get one of those slots. He told himself with each passing face that wasn't hers. Maybe she couldn't even get a ticket. A small voice whispered in the back of his mind before he blocked it out. His stomach was doing flips like it was about to be his first time on stage.

Get a grip Jun.

She wasn't at mic check, but honestly he hadn't expected her to be. He expected that if she showed up she would be at the last show at the fansign event.

He took a deep breath calming his nerves and walked onto the stage as the show started. He couldn't help but wonder if she was out there now, watching him. What if she was? What if she was out there and she was looking for a sign?  Yu-Jun's intro for his new song started, the fan-cam was trained on him. Thoughts and questions in his head churned faster. The what-ifs and doubts clouding his composure.

This was the rush he lived for, but today he didn't feel whole. He pulled his already rolled sleeves above his elbows and raised both hands above his head, palms outward fingers in the shape of a heart, exposing his inner forearms. Deafening screams filled the arena as the glitter of flashes went off across the stadium like the twinkle of stars filling the midnight sky. Yu-Jun Kim had a tattoo, one no one had ever seen before. He'd never had one before. There, plain as day on the big screen behind him was a fox and dragon tattoo on his right forearm. No one knew what it meant. The intro started and the crowd went silent. His deep clear voice filled the stadium.

"And in the darkness there was you

Like a beacon in the night

You saved me from the fall

Surrounding me in starlight

You will always have a part of me

And I swear I'll find you again

Where ever you might be"

As the concert ended that night he wanted badly to share with his fans the same thing he'd shared with his 'brothers', that he was looking for his friend. He couldn't call her more than that without knowing what she would want or if she even felt the same anymore but he did want to get to know her, and if she was okay. His brothers and managers advised against it. Some fans might become hostile to her if they realized who she was, others might stalk her, it could be dangerous. Don't I deserve a personal life? I would think if they loved me as they claim they would respect me and my wishes. Yu-Jun sighed and left the stage before the tears could fall.

Three concerts later and Yu-Jun sat at the end of a row of tables for the Nephilim fansign event. He looked down the row at his group members. The fans were about to come in but Yu-Jun's stomach was in knots, he had a bad feeling. The member closest to him in proximity and as friends leaned over asking if he was alright. Yu-Jun nodded and his friend patted his back reassuring him, but Evie never showed.