(November 20th, 2003)

DIARY, I HAVE A BIG BIG BIG PROBLEM--

So- I've mentioned that I wear a bandana in the past, right? It's because I don't like my hair. (obviously)

Now, you might be asking, 'But Hypno! You're so spectacularly handsome, why wouldn't you like your hair?'

Well, that's very kind of you to say, sentient Diary, but I just don't like my hair. I dislike my hair because it's this gross shade of brown and NO MATTER WHAT I FREAKING DO, IT LOOKS SUPER GREASY- And it's not even that greasy for real! It just looks greasy!

But, that's why I hate my hair. It is gross, and it looks gross.

But, back to my dilemma! I was in math with xB and we were passing notes back and forth. My bandana was getting itchy around my ears so I shifted it a bit, which caught xB's attention.

He passed me a note reading, 'Hey, why do you wear a bandana? I don't actually think I've ever seen your hair before'

Now Diary, you must understand. I was not just about to admit to xB that I'm insecure about my hair. That's dumb as hell. So, I did what I always do as a defence mechanism. Be sarcastic.

'I wear a bandana cuz my hair is too gorgeous to be gazed upon by the mortal eye.'

xB's 'mortal eyes' lit up, and he wrote back, 'can i see then?'

I tensed up. This was not going according to plan. Why wasn't he dropping it-

I kept up my calm and cool demeanor (learned that word from Wels), and told him, 'No, mortal.'

He looked up at me and pouted, giving me a poor excuse of puppy eyes. He mouthed 'pleaaase' and man-

Man, I can't say no to that dork.

I swear he's going to be the death of me. (ᴬ ᴺᵒᵗᵉ ᶠʳᵒᵐ ˣᴮ: ???)

'Fine, simp' I wrote, 'But not in math class. Tomorrow, in homeroom.'

xB got my note and grinned. "Can't wait." He whispered, causing dread to fill my stomach.

Now, after that I knew I couldn't show xB the oil-doused-birds-nest I use as an excuse for hair.

But I also couldn't go back on my word.

So, in a desperate attempt to keep my dignity, I asked for the help of the guy with the prettiest hair I know.

"Jevin!" I called, making him jump. "Jev I need your help-"

It was after school, and Jevin was just waiting for the bus. He put away his phone and turned, his baby blue eyebrows raised. "Hypno? What's up?"

I skidded next to him and shoved my hands into my pockets. "I need my hair to be pretty like yours 'cause I promised xB I'd show it to him, but it looks gross. Help."

Jevin blinked. He opened and closed his mouth, like a fish out of water, then said. "You have hair?"

I groaned, "Unfortunately."

As the bus rolled up and Jevin and I climbed on, Jevin pursed his lips. "What's wrong with your hair?"

Sighing, I sat down and explained to Jevin and all the problems I had with my hair. Reluctantly, I even took off my bandana and showed it to Jev.

Jevin made a face. "You do… wash your hair, right?"

"Of course I do I-!" I frowned. "Does it really look that bad-"

"No, no!" Jevin assured, "I've seen much worse! Your hair isn't… greasy, per se, it's more grimy. You need better shampoo, I think."

"You're saying words that I do not understand."

Jevin rolled his eyes, handing me back my bandana. "I'll come over to your place tomorrow morning with some of my hair stuff. It'll be great!"

I exhaled, the nauseous feeling in my gut dwindled. "Yeah. Thank you, Jev!"

So this morning, at like, 6:30 I was up and in my washroom, Jevin lecturing me about the difference between shampoo and conditioner, and how most of the dirt-cheap hair products generally do nothing for one's hair.

Once he was done with that, he offered me two bottles and told me to wash my hair.

"These ones are scented differently from mine, so Mr. Crafted doesn't suspect anything." (ᴬ ⁿᵒᵗᵉ ᶠʳᵒᵐ ˣᴮ: ʸᵃ ˢⁿᵉᵃᵏʸ ᵇⁱᵗᶜʰᵉˢ) A shit-eating grin grew on Jev's face, "...Who's the smelly one now?"

I flipped him off. "Still you, loser."

"Whatever, dork."

"Whatever, whatever… shampoo boy."

And this, my dear Diary is where things went wrong.

I had a shower, used the shampoo and stuff (which did smell really nice. It was kinda like- citrusy) and afterwards Jevin blow-dried my hair. It was fluffier than it's ever been, but..

"Why does it still look greasyyyyy!" I pouted, "Why does it still look so-- ew."

Jevin cocked his head quizzically. "Maybe its just the colour of your hair… or how the light bounces off it that makes it have that look.." He frowned. "I'm sorry, Hyp."

I sighed. "It's okay, Jev. Thanks for trying."

Jevin smiled apologetically, and began packing up his stuff. He let me keep the shampoo and conditioner, though. I gripped my bandana, then put it on. Not all of my hair actually fit under the fabric because of how fluffy it was.

After, we made our way to school.

And so here I am now, Diary, in homeroom, writing. Just waiting for xB to arrive, waiting to disappoint.