Paytah

This is the first day that the guards have come in with no weapons.

It's a daily thing, where guards come in with some sort of new weapon, testing it on me, seeing if the weapon can make a human black out.

All of them have worked. Even the fucking small stones, after a good hour of the guards throwing and hitting me with them.

But this time is different.

This time, they come and reach for me, picking me up and dragging me towards the exit. I can barely walk, each step sends a unbearable pain to my whole body, making me close my eyes and wince. The guards must be sick of me stumbling at every step, because they lift most of my body weight so I'm just tiptoeing.

How nice of them.

I don't get to look around at all, a guard has his hand pressed firmly on the back of my head, keeping my eyes fixed to the ground. I feel the heat rising in me, trying to fight its way out of me.

No, not now. It's me against a pile of guards, there's no way I'd succeed.

But as we enter a room and I see my mother standing there, I highly consider burning everyone alive and risking it. But before I can react, guards set me down on a metal table, ripping my shirt off and strapping me down. I begin to worry, and try to get out of the straps, but they are tight against my skin. I'm sweating, but the cold table sends me chills. The guards walk away, and I get a good look at my mother.

"What are you doing?" I ask, looking straight at my mother.

"Now why would I tell you that?" She asks, walking up to me till she's right by the table.

I swallow down bile. "Because if I know, I'll be more calm."

I'm surprised she's pondering that. She stares at me, then at the ground, her lips pierced together. For a moment I think that she's finally realizing what she's doing to her son, but her face turns back into a glare.

My eyes move to the doctors that are preparing for-something. I see needles, all sorts of needles, and bottles of stuff that I cannot read.

She can see my nerves, I know she can. Because what she tells me next gets my attention.

"We're going to mess with your head."

I know she immediately regrets saying that to me, because it doesn't make me calm, not at all. It makes me aware. It makes me prepare to fight against it.

"Shit." She mumbles quietly.

And I can't help but smile.

"Start. Now." She demands. She comes up to me and slaps her hand across my face. My face turns to the right from the impact, but I move back. By the time I do move back, she's holding one of those bottles that I saw before, and presses it against my mouth. I try to keep my mouth shut, but now doctors are helping her, forcing my mouth open, plugging my nose and pouring half the bottle down my throat. I grab the sides of the table and gasp for air, the liquid burning in the inside.

Now I'm heating up. I can see smoke rising from my body, the doctors above me are sweating, but continue to get things ready. My minds a blur, my eyesight seems fuzzy, but I see some of them holding needles.

This is when I start to squirm. I grunt, trying to move my body when a doctor tries to put the needle in my flesh. They struggle as I keep moving around, and I struggle as they keep trying to hold me down.

Then I see my mother again, and I watch as she puts her hand on my bare chest, and the other pushed down on my forehead. I start breathing heavily, whatever that liquid was is making me woozy. My mothers hands are cold and send shivers down my body.

And I feel a needle go in my forearm.

I fight against the straps, but it's no use. Not when my mother is holding me down, as well as the doctors.

My head aches, a searing pain hitting all sides and spots in my head. I get dizzy and almost gag. My mothers hands pushes harder down on my forehead, and another needle enters my neck.

"I fucking hate you."

"Watch your language."

I can't think, all I want to do is get up from this table, for the doctors and my mother to stop touching me. I'm too weak, a few days of no food and constantly getting beat up have made me that way, they've prepared for this that way.

They will not change my mind. I control my mind, nobody else.

"Who's side are you on?" I hear my mother ask as another needle goes into my arm. It's all fizzy, the words sound mushed together.

"N-not yours." I don't even know if she heard it. I'm sweating, but I'm shivering so bad the table shakes with me. Her hands leaves my chest and slaps against my face. It was so hard tears automatically start to fall.

"Your friends are coming. You think that's a good idea?"

I shake my head no, because I agree on that. They shouldn't come, everyone knows that.

Another needle enters my flesh, then another...

"They are bad." Is all she says.

Bad?

I'm confused, but I think I know what she's trying to do. Convince me. So I shake my head no.

"They don't deserve to live."

You got the wrong people, I'm not supposed to live.

"You're going to end it. End them."

Everything hurts so much I shut my eyes tight, trying to block it all out. But my mothers words stick with me.

End them. Kill them...

"Ma'am, we're about max." I barely hear the doctor.

"Keep going."

My chest heaves in and out, each breath in forces me to gasp for it.

"Did you hear that? End them."

It doesn't make sense. It all doesn't make sense. I'm still aware of what she's trying to do, but I can't seem to shake my head no.

She wants me on her side. She wants us four destroyed.

"Ma'am, it too much!" I hear a doctor say as I feel a needle pull out.

I hear more mumbling, but it's all just a bunch of noise to me. I feel like I'm going to blackout any minute.

"One is closer than the other two."

Everything in my head disappears. All my other thoughts, gone.

"Do you know which one did?"

Of course. Aira would, but she'd be to scared to go alone. Juris is too smart, he would know better than to leave the other two alone.

"Lana."

"She's your target."

I feel another needle go in, but by the time it comes back out, I blackout.

•••••

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