"Do I even wanna know what you're doing there?" Louis eyedNiall amusedly as he was hanging from a tree branch.

"I was following a squirrel" Niall answered as if this wasnormal.

"I don't see a squirrel" Louis stated the obvious.

"It was faster than me" Niall pointed out unbothered.

"And a lot more skilful, I presume" Louis added teasingly.

"Not by much" Niall changed his position with a lot of effortand finally, jumped down to the ground, almost twisting his ankle.

"Very graceful, Niall" Louis snorted bemused.

"I'm always graceful, Tommo" Niall shot back, scratching hisbelly.

"I see" Louis couldn't help but laugh at him. "Why did youeven think following a squirrel onto a huge ass tree was a goodidea?".

"I never said it was a good idea. I just feel so bloody freethat I couldn't resist, no matter how stupid that is" Niallexplained his own actions unfazed.

"Free? Any particular reason for that?" Louis raised aneyebrow at him in confusion.

"Nah. Jackson called because of the meeting for the signing butwe told him to leave us alone. As if we would sign with him again"Niall let him know as if it was nothing.

Louis' heart stuttered at that. "All of you?".

"Yes," Niall said surely but then looked a bit hesitant. "Imean, when he called it was only Liam and me but we told him none ofus would sign with him again, so there's that".

"And you're sure Harry is with you on this?" Louis checkedwith way too much hope in his heart.

"Of course! With everything he knows and being with you, there isno chance he would ever sign with Jackson again. That wouldn't work.He couldn't be himself, he couldn't be with you for real and whywould he give that up? For what?" Niall sounded so sure.

"That's such a relief" Louis exhaled shakily.

"Why? Were you worried he would sign with him?" Niall frowned.

"Yes. He always avoided this topic and talked about how he isnothing without him. How Jackson could make or break him an ...".

"He isn't wrong with that" Niall interrupted him, makingLouis' face fall. "He will definitely try to break us now, enoughto sign again but he doesn't know that we changed. Liam prefersproducing songs now while I discovered my passion for writing songsinstead of performing them. And Harry can sign with someone else andrebuild his public image as himself if he wants to. Jackson wouldjust force us back into our fake personas".

"I really don't know what to say" Louis was out of words.

"You don't have to say anything. Just enjoy your time and don'tworry about the future, Tommo. You don't have to do that anymore"Niall patted his shoulder reassuringly.

"He doesn't have to do what anymore?" Harry approached themwith Zayn and Liam in tow.

"Worry his pretty little head over everything" Niall retortedcarefree, ruffling Louis' hair.

"Ey!".

"He is quite pretty, isn't he?" Harry grinned amusedly.

Hearing that, Louis looked up at Harry and was overcome with somuch inexplicable happiness and endless relief. Overpowered by hisemotions, he made his way over to Harry and simply pulled him into agentle kiss. He felt Harry freeze for a second but then he kissed himback before they pulled away.

"What was that for?" Harry stared at him blankly.

"Nothing. I just love you and you looked very pretty, so freeand unbothered. Happy" Louis shrugged mushily.

"Um ..." Harry blinked at him dumbfounded. "Thanks?".

"God, you're insufferable" Niall rolled his eyes at him."Where's Sean, guys?".

"Wasn't he with you?" Liam asked confused.

"Yes, but then I ended up on this tree. He only took a pictureand ran off to get Louis but he never came back" Niall told them.

"Why were you on a tree?" Liam looked ready to call it a day.

"Don't ask questions you don't wanna know the answer to" Niallchuckled exhilarated.

"He is implacable, inexorable" Zayn commented dryly.

"Have you swallowed a dictionary?" Niall eyed him warily.

"Not everyone's vocabulary only exists of swear words and basicadjectives" Zayn shot back chilled. Louis burst into a fit ofgiggles and high-fived his best friend.

"You do know that Tommo knows more swear words than I?" Niallcrossed his arms over his chest.

"Don't even go there. My Tommy is very clever and intellectual.He outsmarts you on a daily basis" Zayn defended Louis on the spot.

"Damn, you have to really love him. No one defends me like that.I need new friends" Niall huffed offended.

"No one will ever be like Joey. Sorry, Niall" Louis pulledZayn into his side, hand resting on Zayn's waist. "And I love himjust as much. You should know that".

"Urgh, Zouis is disgustingly cute. How come you're not jealous,H?" Niall addressed a very silent Harry.

"Ever heard of trust?" Harry said surprisingly bitter. "Andeveryone knows they're best friends. No need to worry for me".

"See? Some people are decent" Liam had taken his spot on theother side of Zayn.

"You forget that Niall and decent don't belong in one sentence,Lima" Sean suddenly appeared behind them.

"Where the hell have you been?!" Niall exclaimed quite done.

"I had to pee" Sean replied nonchalantly.

"You couldn't mention that before you ran off?" Niall huffed.

"Why? Did I miss anything significant?" Sean looked around thegroup uneasily.

"Except for Niall getting a heart attack over you disappearingand realising he has no real friends? No, not really" Louis smirkedevilly.

"Tommo, you're as good as d ...".

"Aw, did you worry about me, Noe?" Sean cooed dramatically.

"Me? No, never" Niall squeaked in a high-pitched voice.

"You did!" Sean realised with big eyes. "Aww".

"Piss off" Niall grumbled while everyone started laughing.

Deciding it would be best to get away from trees for a while, thegroup of friends walked back into the city. They entered some cutelittle shops and took dozens of funny pictures together. Walking pasta photo booth, they all squeezed in there as a six-piece and tried totake decent pictures. It ended in a funny mess. A part of Louiswanted to drag Harry in there alone with him but somehow that didn'thappen. They did split up the huge group and went in for pair roundsbut Harry went in with Liam instead of him. Feeling a tad bitdisappointed, Louis decided to go with Zayn. Their pictures togetherturned out great and it lifted Louis' mood.

Exhausted and thirsty, they ended up in a café and sat down inthe back by a window, having a good view of the nature around. Lostin his own thoughts, he barely heard his friends' discussion overtheir drinks. But when Harry handed his phone to him whilesimultaneously standing up he came back into the here and now.

"Huh?" Louis blinked up at him.

"Could you send all our pictures into the group chat while I'mgetting the drinks with Liam? Niall is insufferable when he is waitingfor something" Harry asked his question again.

"Course but I don't even know your p ...".

"It's my birthday" Harry cut him off. "You should know mybirthday, right?".

"No, out of everyone here yours is the birthday I don't know"Louis rolled his eyes at his boyfriend. "That's not pretty safe,Love".

Harry only shrugged and then turned his back to him, walking overto the counter where Liam was waiting with Sean and an impatientNiall hopping next to them, which left Zayn and Louis alone at theirtable. Tipping in Harry's pin, Louis opened up his gallery app on thephone and was about to click on the newest pictures when his eyesfell on a folder with a fire emoji. He knew he shouldn't do it buthis alarm bells were going off in his head, so he clicked on it andalready regretted it.

"Tommy, is everything okay?" Zayn seemed to notice his frozenstate and fallen face. "What is it? You're worrying me".

"He has a full folder on his phone with pictures of him and hisexes, like Jake and Sabrina and even Alec. And apparently, there wassomething actually going with him and that model I always forget thename of. It wasn't just a stunt" Louis informed him bitterlywithout looking up from the phone.

"I know what you're thinking but don't go there. This doesn'tmean anything. You have a few pictures left of Alec and Josh as well.It's nothing bad to keep a memory of ...".

"But my pictures are normal ones from happy moments and notnaked ones from before or after the act" Louis cut him off madly.

"What?" Zayn stared at him in disbelief.

"You heard me just right, Joey" Louis finally turned around tolook at him. "There are almost three hundred pictures of him withsomeone else in sexy or seductive poses or just totally revealing,like completely naked with everything on display. Even videos".

"I'm lost for words. Why would anyone keep these when thosepeople apparently meant nothing? Especially that stunt model" Zaynfrowned thoughtfully.

"Not just one. There are a few different here" Louis balledhis hand into a fist to keep himself calm. "I just don'tunderstand. I might get Jake and even Sabrina but Alec? And naked?".

"You should stop looking at those. It's not good for you, Tommy.I know where your mind is going right now but you have to keep calmand maybe ask him about this before you do anything stupid andirrational" Zayn tried to reason with him.

Louis knew rationally that Zayn was right but seeing all of thiswas tearing old wounds open and some buried fears and insecuritieswere coming right back up into the light. His ex Josh had keptpictures of everyone he had shagged in between their on-phases on hisphone, too. And even though during these moments they've been brokenup it had felt like cheating every time. He had betrayed him so manytimes and had kept memories of those betrayals on his phone to rubunder Louis' nose during their next arguments. He knew this has beenfreaking toxic and Harry wasn't necessarily like that but Alec hadonly kept innocent pictures of other people around and still cheatedon him because apparently, they had reminded him of what Louiscouldn't give to him. So, how was he supposed to react to this whenhis track record showed that this was the first sign of his partnercheating on him in the future?

This made him think back about the whole day and he came to theheart-wrenching realisation that Harry had avoided him and anyphysical contact as soon as they were around people. He knew it wasbecause he wasn't out but people around here didn't care and Harryknew that. They wouldn't even look their way. On top of that, Louishadn't expected him to be all lovely-dovely in public but acting asif they were friends would have been okay for Louis. Not even thathad happened. No, they couldn't have looked any more than strangersif they tried. Thank god, Zayn has been by his side this whole time,just like right now.

"I can't help it, Joey. This doesn't look good and I can't helpbut think Harry really doesn't want to be with me. Maybe it reallywas just fun and living out our past for some time. Everyone ends upcheating on me. Well, except for Dylan. He was the only one who nevereven mentioned an ex" Louis mused out loud.

"You can't know that. Maybe he just ... I don't know ...".

"Where are the pictures, Tommo? I'm still waiting" Niallinterrupted them loudly, sitting down right next to Zayn.

"One second. There are a lot" Louis quickly closed theforbidden folder and opened the right one, selecting as many picturesas possible to make it look as if he had been doing this the wholetime instead of snooping through his boyfriend's phone.

"Probably way too many. This one has gone all crazy" Seanplopped down in the seat next to Niall.

"You just don't know what fun is" Niall slapped Sean'sshoulder.

Instead of watching Sean and Niall, Louis let his gaze drift overthe café to look for Liam and Harry. He spotted them still standingnear the counter but they weren't alone. Sabrina and an unfamiliargirl were talking to them. Liam looked polite as always but Harry andSabrina seemed to be in their own little world, touching arms andshoulders and sharing smiles and laughs.

"Yeah, really looks like he wants me" Louis grumbled under hisbreath, his mind drifting back to what Alec had said when they brokeup about the reason why he had cheated.

According to him, their sex life has been too one-sided andunbalanced, which translated to he had wanted to fuck Louis at timesas well but he had never mentioned it to him while they have stillbeen a thing. Louis tended naturally to be the top, mostly because hereally has never known anything else, but he also just loved it. Thatwas simply him but maybe that was why in the end, every single guyhe'd dated had cheated on him. Maybe he needed to suck it up and stopbeing a pain in the ass and let someone else be a pain in the assinstead, quite literally. Was that the solution he has overlooked allthose years?

"We just have to squeeze a bit closer together" Louis heardSean answer someone.

A second later he felt Zayn even closer to him and Liam wassuddenly on his other side, almost squishing him between them. A bitout of it, he glanced around the table and saw Sabrina and her friend nowsitting at their table with Harry between them. He really hoped hisface didn't betray him but he felt so much at once and none of thesefeelings were good. Especially because Sabrina and Harry didn't stopbeing touchy for one second. So, he was able to be affectionate withsomeone in public. With a woman.

Zayn and Liam tried to engulf him in some of their mindlessconversations but Louis wasn't in the moment anymore. He felt emptyand numb and the phone was still burning in his hand underneath thetable. After what felt like an eternity, they all stood up and Louisalmost forgot how to move his limbs. They took their stuff and leftthe café with the girls. At a crossroad, they finally had to partways with them. To Louis' big dismay, Harry and Sabrina said goodbyewith a way too tight and long hug before they let go of each otherand she pressed a kiss to his cheek, a bit too close to his mouth forLouis' liking. They agreed on calling each other tomorrow and thenthe two women were off.

"Oh right. You still have my phone, Louis" Harry suddenlyremembered and Louis tried not to flinch at Harry only calling himLouis. That would be weird.

"Here, take it. I don't want it" Louis slammed the phone a bittoo harshly onto Harry's open palm before turning around and walkingaway as fast as possible.

Predictably quick, he could hear Harry running after him but Louisdidn't plan on slowing down or even talking to him any time soon. Ofcourse, this plan would never work out. Harry had longer legs and hadcaught up to him pretty fast.

"Can you stop running away and tell me what's up with you?"Harry gasped out breathlessly.

"I don't wanna talk to you right now" Louis focused his eyeson his house in the near distance.

"What did I do? Why are you ignoring me? Stop avoiding me,Louis!" Harry sounded frustrated.

"Funny that you're the one saying that" Louis mumbled quietlywhile finally reaching his home and stepping into the front yard.

"I wasn't avoiding you, Louis. But I can't treat you outsidelike I'm treating you behind that door and you know that" Harryobviously had heard him.

"I know but this doesn't change that it makes me feel like uttershit" Louis was so close to losing it. That's why he quickly openedthe front door to let them inside. It was better to have this trickyconversation inside without neighbours being able to hear them.

"What do you expect me to do?" Harry groaned in despair.

"I don't expect anything from you but you could at least actlike my friend when we're outside" Louis looked to the floor.

"I'm sorry, Lou. I wasn't thinking about my actions. I nevermeant to ignore you like this and make you feel like shit" Harryapologised as soon as he understood what the problem was.

"It's okay" Louis brought out but wasn't sure if he believedhimself because he couldn't forget about Sabrina.

"Are you sure?" Harry stepped closer to him, lifting his chinup.

Instead of answering with empty words, Louis connected their lipsin a rushed kiss. Harry kissed him back immediately but somethingfelt so off to Louis. He just couldn't say what exactly it was. Hehad his suspicions.

Shutting his doubts and fears off for a moment, Louis attached hislips to Harry's neck. "How about we take this upstairs and you show me what that dick of yours can do?".

"Love to. Fuck, wanna touch you. Wanna ...".

"Fuck me?" Louis forced out before he could chicken out.

Abruptly, Harry stopped what they were doing and stared at Louiswith an unreadable expression on his face. "What?".

"Would you like that, Haz? To get your dick inside of me thistime? Make Daddy feel good?" Louis tried to sound seductive insteadof panicked but he wasn't sure if it was working.

"Fuck, don't say something like this. Louis ... where is all ofthis coming from? Do you really ... Have you ever ...?" Harry wasat a loss for words.

"I mean, yeah. Only once and it was years ago. I can't remembermuch of it. Just that I wasn't very keen on doing that ever again butit was with Josh, so that was probably why" Louis found himselfanswering the truth before he could stop himself.

"Then why would you even offer yourself to me like that when youthink you won't like it?" Harry sounded almost angry.

"I never said I wouldn't like it" Louis contradicted him.

"You did and I don't understand what's going on with you.Mentioning the whole Daddy thing in this context but then admittingto not liking it in the past, bottoming I mean. Like, what is thematter, Louis? Do you actually want this or what are you trying ...?".

"I don't want you to cheat on me!" Louis exploded in purefrustration but bit his tongue as soon as the words were out.

"Why would you think I would cheat on you and what has that todo with you offering your bum to me?" Harry was totally lost. Louisfelt really bad for even bringing this up.

"Everything, Harry," Louis said simply.

"Care to enlighten me" Harry tightened his jaw. Now he wasangry. Whoops.

"I saw the pictures on your phone, Harry. And the videos. Youdon't keep those without a reason. Alec had some left and cheated.And Josh had dozens of these and ...".

"You accuse me of cheating because of some pictures?" Harrycut him off in disbelief. "You can't be serious!".

"But I am! If these were harmless pictures I wouldn't say athing but those are naked and ...".

"It doesn't matter if we're naked or not!" Harry exclaimedwithout understanding. "You were supposed to send today's picturesinto our group chat and not snoop through my phone".

"I didn't snoop but it was hard to miss that fiery folder,Harry. Why would you keep all of them? Videos even, that I thankfullydidn't watch but now I'm curious how graphic they are. You know I'vebeen cheated on a lot and still can't understand why that would worryme?" Louis tried to make Harry understand.

"There is nothing to worry about but I still don't understandhow we got from you offering to bottom to me cheating in the future.How in the hell is that connected?" Harry just didn't understand.

"Alec cheated because he was unsatisfied but never told me. Hetold you he was fed up with me topping all the time and later told mewe were too unbalanced even though he never complained before. Everytime Josh shagged someone else he was the top too but never with meexcept for this one time and how did it end? You've been with morewomen than men and obviously, you top there. So I just wanted toprevent ..." Louis explained himself as best as possible butHarry's expression only hardened.

"I'm neither Josh nor Alec, Louis. And since when is me sleepingwith women in the past a problem?" Harry asked through grittedteeth, practically glaring at him.

"It isn't! I never said that. Stop twisting my words! But I seehow different you are with Sabrina compared to me. You can beaffectionate with her but not with your own boyfriend! Does she evenknow you're not dating anymore? It didn't look like it" Louissuddenly wondered after rethinking their interactions.

"So now I'm a two-timing pig? Being with both of you, yeah? Onlybecause you're fucking insecure?!" Harry shouted at him.

"Don't shout at me, Harry!" Louis stood his ground. "I havemy reasons to be careful and you know that. You should know better. Ikeep trying to understand your reasons to treat me so coldly outsidebut you never seem to do the same for me!".

"This is not the same as me not being able to come out" Harrycountered defensively.

"No, it's not because my reasons are not self-made and ...".

"Self-made? Are you fucking serious?" Harry positively lost itnow. "A contract is holding me back and you know that".

"I fucking know that, Harry. But only for barely one week and noone around here freaking cares. Even when it's just us lads or yourfamily you never look comfortable around me. Only when we're alonebut I don't wanna be someone's dirty little secret. I'm worth morethan that. Will you keep hiding me when your contract is overalthough you don't have to? Would you prefer to be with her becauseyou can handle it better? Then fine. Go but don't act like this isall out of your hands. It's not. This is on you" Louis started offpretty loud but became quieter with every word until he was justfeeling empty and drained.

"I don't wanna go" Harry murmured softly, making Louis' headsnap towards him. "I mean, I have to go right now but I don't wannaleave you, Louis. I just don't ... Please, stop thinking I will cheaton you like Alec did or hurt you the way Josh did. I won't".

"I um ... I'll try. Just don't give me a reason to doubt you"Louis was caught off guard by his words, images of Sabrina kissingHarry way too long and close flashing through his mind.

"Louis" Harry sighed in frustration. "Nevermind. I should gonow. I can hear Zayn and Liam outside. We talk soon".

And just like that, he was out the door. Right after he was gone,Zayn and Liam came walking inside and spotted him still standingfrozen to his spot in the hallway. He had no idea what to do or say.He didn't know how to feel. Was this all on him? Has he beenoverreacting again or were his doubts justified? He couldn't tellanymore. But he knew Harry was angry and didn't seem to understandwhy Louis had his insecurities to begin with. No sympathy or empathy.Nothing. What was he supposed to do now?

"Tommy?" Zayn approached him hesitantly.

Louis looked up at him, forcing a neutral expression on his face."I'm good. Everything's good".

"No, it's not" Zayn saw right through him.

Louis let out a shaky sigh and was engulfed by Liam and Zayn in atight hug. "But it will be".

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Will it though? Will everything be okay? 

On whose side are you? Do you understand Louis?