"YOU SEEM DISTRACTED."

Vivienne looked up absentmindedly from the bonnet she had been staring at. "Pardon?"

Fiona gave her a look of concern. "Ever since we entered the shop, it seems like your mind is elsewhere. If you didn't want to come, I would have understood. Shopping for a wedding cannot be as fun as it is for the bride."

Vivienne shook her head furiously and took Fiona's hands within hers. "I'm glad to be here for you Fiona," she said softly before giving her friend a weak smile, "I just didn't sleep that well last night."

Fiona's eyes peered into her for a prolonged minute, before her friend nodded, accepting the excuse. Vivienne almost sighed in relief. She hadn't exactly lied to her friend, more like told the partial truth. While Vivienne had not slept well, it was because her thoughts were plagued with James and the kiss they shared.

Oh, the kiss, it was seared into her memory, never to be forgotten. She might have even said it was better than any gothic romance she had read. While she had been terrified that Preston may tell the other servants, when Millie had come to dress her, nothing had been out of the ordinary. It seemed like the butler had kept his mouth shut, making it one less thing for Vivienne to worry about.

However, her greatest source of frustration and confusion was James himself. She did not know how to act around him now. Would they pretend that the kiss never happened? She didn't expect much from him, and she wasn't foolish enough to believe that he would offer his hand in marriage to her. He had been more than generous to her the last few months, but would he ask that she leave his residence now?

"Enough," Fiona tugged on Vivienne's sleeves.

She looked at her friend in confusion, "What is the matter?"

Fiona pointed to Vivienne's chest in anger. "It's you, all I've seen you do since I fetched you this morning is mope around. It's like you're a thundercloud pissing and spreading your misery onto everyone."

"Fiona!" Vivienne admonished, appalled at the language her friend was using in a shop filled with matrons.

"Tell me what is going on or so help me God, I will send you straight back into the carriage and never speak to you again."

Vivienne looked around nervously, afraid that they would be overheard. One of the seamstresses came forward, "Is there anything I may assist you with, my ladies?"

"Is there a private room we could chat in for a while?" Fiona asked with a bright smile.

The seamstress looked taken back but she nodded, "follow me."

The two of them did so, leaving her lady's maid at the front of the shop. Fiona pulled the curtain of the changing room. "Speak."

"We kissed," Vivienne blurted, unable to keep the words from coming out.

Fiona's blue eyes widened as she raised her voice. "Kissed who?"

Vivienne gripped Fiona's hand and hushed her. She knew that their voices could travel beyond the curtain. Although it was very unlikely that the seamstress would be eavesdropping on the other side, she wanted to be careful.

"I—I mean James...the duke and I kissed last night."

Fiona collapsed onto the small chaise, worrying Vivienne. Her friend was silent for a few moments before she glanced back at her incredulously, "Are we talking about James, as in the Duke of Lennox?" she hissed.

Vivienne nodded, blushing as she remembered the night they had shared. "Say something," she pleaded to her friend.

Fiona clutched her chest, shaking her head, "Sorry, I was just trying to comprehend what you told me," she gave her a small smile, "I can see why you've been distracted today."

Vivienne played with the frills of her dress as she nodded, "I don't know what to do or say around him anymore. Will we pretend that it never happened? Or will he do something drastic such as removing me from his house?"

Fiona tugged on Vivienne's hand, and she settled down beside her friend. "I've known James for most of my life. I don't believe he would be so cruel as to leave you without a home."

Tears shone in Vivienne's eyes. "I've been so foolish; he's already done so much for me, and I just ruined it all."

Fiona rubbed Vivienne's back comfortingly, "Don't worry my dear. It's just accommodations, if anything happens, I'm sure that Henry and I would host you in our London home."

Vivienne gave her a watery smile, "That isn't the only thing he's done for me," she confessed.

Needing to share her story with someone else besides James and Lady Torrington, Vivienne poured her heart and told Fiona everything. Once she finished, it was unexpected, but she felt lighter, like a burden had been lifted from her shoulders. Fiona, meanwhile, was deep in thought as her blue eyes met Vivienne's, "You've been through a lot Viv, and might I say, that I'm proud of you."

Vivienne clasped her hand tightly and they were interrupted with the curtain opening.

"Is everything alright my lady?" The seamstress who had led them into the room asked.

Fiona promptly brushed away the tears, "Yes, we shall let you know when we no longer require this room," she said haughtily.

The seamstress curtsied and left them alone once again. Fiona turned back and clasped Vivienne's hand tightly. "Thank you for sharing your story with me. I'll promise not to tell a soul and take your secret to my grave."

Vivienne gave her a small nod; it was one of the main reasons she had opened up to Fiona in the first place. She knew the lady could be trusted.

"There is a ball in the evening tonight, we should go to it," Fiona said casually.

Vivienne swallowed the bile rising in her throat, she didn't want to go anywhere else. If it were up to her, she would still be hiding in her room.

"You need to let lose Viv," Fiona said softly. "It will be fun and will help get your mind off James."

Knowing that Fiona wouldn't relent, Vivienne nodded. Fiona squealed, getting up from the chaise. "I just saw a gown that would go perfectly with your skin."

She pulled the curtain back and led Vivienne to the front of the shop once again. Her friend turned to her eyes twinkling, "One last question, if you don't want to answer it, you don't have to. But was the kiss better than the gothic romance novels I lent you last week?"

Vivienne couldn't help but laugh at the absurd question even as she blushed and nodded. Fiona's smile was an answer enough.

***

Vivienne stood in the corner of the room watching the couples on the dance floor. She still couldn't believe that Fiona had dragged her to Lady Albermay's ball when all she wanted to do was stay in bed, and perhaps read a book while cuddling Ginger. She missed her cat dearly—there was just something about the comfort pets provided.

The only thing she was grateful was for the fact that Lady Torrington had been too tired to attend the ball. The last thing she needed was the dowager scowling over her shoulder when she refused to dance with the two gentlemen who had already asked. It was easier to blend into the shadows, instead of facing the crowd. She took a sip of the sherry, letting the flavour settle onto her tongue.

"Lady Vivienne."

Vivienne stiffed at the voice, but she turned around to see Lady Cobham walking towards her—dressed in a spectacular ivory-coloured gown. Vivienne had not seen the lady after learning that she had once been James' intended.

"Lady Cobham," Vivienne replied civilly.

She did not know what the lady wanted with her. It was not as though they were in the same social circle. Vivienne had not made many friends during the season. She had not expected that many of the girls would know each other from childhood or through their families, and they were very much unwilling to let an intruder into their circle. Vivienne had accepted her fate, she had Fiona by her side. But sometimes, she did wish to laugh and gossip with more than just one person.

Meanwhile, Lady Cobham often seemed to be the belle of the ball from what Vivienne had read in the gossip columns. She did find it odd that Lord Cobham rarely escorted his wife anywhere—but that wasn't her business.

"Not dancing tonight?" Lady Cobham asked, taking a sip of her own drink beside Vivienne.

Vivienne shook her head politely, "I'm afraid I haven't quite yet recovered from all the dancing last night."

Lady Cobham's shrewd eyes glanced over her, "Then I am sad to have missed such a night. My husband took me to the Covent Garden theatre for a play in the evening and we were far too tired afterwards."

Vivienne dipped her head, a bit confused as to where the conversation was going between them. Lady Cobham cleared her throat, "What I wanted to do was apologize for not inviting you for tea."

Vivienne raised her hand, "Oh no, that is quite alright. I wasn't offended or anything."

Vivienne failed to tell her that she had waited for the invitation and when she realized it would not arrive, it had been her first heartbreak in London.

"Still," Lady Cobham said with a sad smile, "The duke gave me a thorough scolding of how rude I was."

Vivienne's heart leapt, "The duke did that?"

Lady Cobham gave her a nod, "Yes. I was going to warn you to not fall for him, but it seems to me that I'm already too late."

Vivienne skin clamed as she stood very still, "I do not know what you are talking about."

Lady Cobham gave her a smile, "Ah, but I think you do. He is quite handsome, but he does not let anyone in, thinking he can do everything himself. It will be his downfall one day."

Vivienne did not want to stand around and talk about James. The ball was the exact reason as to why she had come here to clear her mind of him. She did not need Lady Cobham to point out her feelings for James. Vivienne knew deep in her heart how much she cared for him, even if she did try hiding it.

"My lady!" A boisterous voice cut in.

Her gaze moved towards Captain Gronow, the officer who had introduced himself to her at the ball last night. He had a wide smile on his face. "I don't believe my luck. To see such a lovely lady standing here without a dance partner."

Vivienne gave him a weak smile, knowing what he was about to ask next.

"Would you do me the honour of the next dance?"

Vivienne didn't want to dance, but she also didn't want to stand and talk to Lady Cobham any longer. She watched as Captain Gronow's moustache twitched in anticipation. She felt a sense of guilt. She had refused his hand last night as well, it would be cruel to do the same tonight.

"It would be my honour to join you on the ballroom floor."

Captain Gronow's eyes twinkled as he held out his hand and Vivienne placed her gloved fingers in it. She didn't feel anything different but let him lead her to the dance floor, giving Lady Cobham an apologetic glance as she left. The lady merely nodded before turning away and walking out the door.

The music began and Captain Gronow led her across the floor. It wasn't unpleasant, as the captain shared stories with her about his travels and all that he had seen. Vivienne found herself listening to his stories with a small smile. He wasn't the best dancer, but he did tell tales that made her more curious about the world.

"Ah, finally, a smile. I thought the day would never come," he said with a teasing grin.

Vivienne's smile faltered.

"Oh-no, please don't be offended my lady—"

"It's fine," Vivienne said, plastering on a smile. "Truth be told, tonight hasn't exactly been my night. But I am glad that you asked me to dance and showed your exquisite dancing skills," she teased him back, recalling the words he had uttered to her when they first met.

He grinned, moustache twitching. "I'm sorry to hear that, mayhap a walk in Hyde park tomorrow morning will help you clear your mind?" There was a hopeful tone in his voice, as they stood across for one another, the dance ending.

Vivienne had yet to explore Hyde park and something in her told her to say yes. She had unintentionally been waiting for James to show her the places around London but if he wasn't going to do it, she had to seize the day and spend time with people who actually liked her company. "Yes, I would like that very much," she said.

Captain Gronow bowed, "I'll see you in the morning then, my lady."

Feeling a bit lighter than she had all morning, she nodded and curtsied as they both turned away. Only when Vivienne's gaze moved to the entrance of the hall, she saw James, and their eyes met. She held her breath as they stared at one another.

When she was almost jostled, she realized she was still on the dance floor. Finding it hard to breathe, she dropped her gaze from James, not wanting to see him. Suddenly, the room felt uncomfortably hot. She needed some air and to get away from the crowd. Slipping between the couples on the dance floor, Vivienne made her way to the balcony she had spied earlier.

Only when she was outside, did she finally breathe. The summer air was a bit sticky, but it was better than the crowd inside. She looked at the sky, frustrated that she couldn't see the stars twinkling about. A sense of loneliness filled her. Was this how it would always be?

"Vivienne," a low voice she knew quite intimately said.

She froze, not looking back as James joined her at the balcony. He stood beside her, leaving a small gap between them but the long plates of her ballgown brushed against his trousers. The dress she wore tonight was a deep red colour—one James had selected for Vivienne to wear all those months ago at Chalcott manor. She doubted he recognized the dress; she had been foolish to wear it after everything that had transpired between the two of them.

She felt the heat emanating from his body. They stood in silence, before she blurted out, "What are you doing here?"

Vivienne had not seen the duke at any of the balls she had attended. Even with Lady Torrington often insisting that he escort them, James made excuses and eventually, the dowager countess gave up.

"Would you believe me if I said it was for the dancing?"

An unladylike snort left her lips before she could stop that sound. "It would be more believable if you actually did dance with someone before chasing after me."

"Fine, I came here to speak with you." he said abruptly.

Vivienne caved and looked at his eyes, which almost seemed black in the lighting. "And why would you do that?" she asked, not about to make it easier for him at all.

He ran his fingers through his hair and sighed, "We should talk about what happened last night."

Vivienne stood motionless, "What about last night?"

James' eyes darkened as he gave her a pointed look, "About the kiss."

"Are you going to ask me to leave?" she blurted out before he could continue.

Confusion filled his eyes.

"Because of the kiss, are you going to ask me to leave your home?"

The duke's jaws clenched, "No, I wasn't going to ask that—but how could you think that of me?"

Vivienne shrugged her shoulders, trying for the words to be casual. "You don't say much, how am I supposed to know what you think—or feel?"

Her words seemed to agitate him even more as his fingers gripped the edge of the balcony. "Well then, let me make my words perfectly clear to you. I am here to apologize for kissing you last night. It was improper of me to do so, especially because you are my ward."

Vivienne's heart sank as she heard the words. She knew they were coming; she should have been prepared. The small burning flame in her heart was thoroughly extinguished now. "Fine," she said.

"Fine?" he echoed. "Are you not going to say anything else?"

Suddenly, anger poured through her body as she turned towards him. "What else do you want me to say? That I enjoyed the kiss, and even if you want to forget it, I will not? The fact that a part of me is glad that you were my first kiss, even if you are ashamed?" Her voice was almost hysterical.

The fight left his body at her words, and she found him more mellow than before. "I cannot marry you Vivienne," he said softly, as if the words spoken in a low tone would help to heal her heart.

She shook her head, the words shaky, "I did not ask you to do so James. All I wanted was your friendship and yes, maybe I dreamed of more foolishly, but I would have never asked you for more."

"You'll find someone else," he said in a strong tone. "Your dowry should be enough—" he trailed off.

She wanted to fling her dowry back in his face as tears gathered in the corners of her eyes. The air no longer felt calm and refreshing and she would be damned before she let him see her cry. Tension sparked the air and the fight left her, whatever dreams her poor heart had conjured were shattered. Like she had told him, she'd been the fool in the first place.

Spinning back, she made her way back into the ballroom, but James' hand reached to grab her sleeve. "Let me go," she said, her voice still shaking.

"Wait, let's talk."

She ripped her arm from his, and said without looking back, "I think we've done enough of that tonight."

---------------

Poor Vivienne, her dreams have been shattered. On another note, thank you so much for all the support on the last chapter and for helping TFD hit #45 in Historical Fiction.