Chapter 6


Disclaimer

This is a work of fan fiction using characters from the popular show cook with comali 2. The description of incidents in this story is fictional and entirely unrelated to the persons after whom the characters are named. The story is only an imaginary plot with my take on ashaangi. This is not to hurt anyone or affect their personal space. This is purely a fictional plot that is not recommended to connect with real-life incidents.

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6

It was shoot day.

Ashwin was all prepared to clear the confusions that were haunting his mind for the past few days and disclose about his girlfriend to Sivaangi. What he was thinking could be right or wrong, but he only wanted to clarify things before it gets too complicated. He dint want to attack her straight but he also dint know how to start the conversation.

Even the slightest sign of a tear in her eyes will break him down. He was too scared to crush her heart if she had already fallen for him.

Ashwin reached the set and walked straight to his room quite early that day. Ironically the shoot was for valentine's week episode.

He wanted to talk to Rakshan about this first, as he would be sensible enough to react appropriately to the situation. He also wanted to know how people in the set saw them and what could possibly be running in Sivaangi's mind. Ashwin really hoped it was all his overthinking and wildest imaginations. The fear of losing her was lurking in the corner of his brain.

When Rakshan came in, he found Ashwin sitting on the couch in deep thoughts, that he had not even realized his entry.

"Enna machan azhdhan sindhanai ah? Ulla vandhadhu kuda gavanikama yosichitu iruka" Rakshan's voice startled him.

("What happened? Someone seems to be in deep thoughts!)

That's when Ashwin realized he was inside the room and was standing right next to him.

"Raksha I need to talk to you. It's quite important. I need to clarify few things but before that, I want to tell you something"

Rakshan was confused to see Ashwin this serious and share personal stuff which was unlike him. He quickly closed the door understanding the seriousness. It also reassured Ashwin that it would be safe between them.

"Raksha, I have a girlfriend. Her name is Maha, Mahalakshmi"  Rakshan's eyebrow lifted by the unforeseen piece of information.

"It's been about a year now and we are keeping it low. You know about me right I don't put everything out there in the public but...." His voice trailed, trying to understand Rakshan's reaction.

Rakshan gave a slight nod asking Ashwin to continue, wanting to know why he was sharing this with him all of a sudden.

"Raksha let me put it straight. I don't know if it's just me, but I feel like Sivaangi is or might be attracted to me. I could see it in her eyes. I might be wrong but I wanted to clarify this and talk to her about it. I don't know how to start this topic but before that I wanted to know what I was thinking, is right or not"

Rakshan was trying to understand the situation. It was too much of information to process in a minute. Also it is quite a sensitive topic and it involves his little sister, so he thought well before replying.

"Enakum apdi dhan tonichu machan (That's what even I thought). When you gave a surprise entry in super singer I was awestruck. It was clearly seen on my face as well. I almost felt like you guys knew what you were getting into and just that you dint want to share it in the public yet. But I least expected you have a girlfriend machan. If Sivaangi is in love with you and if you are going to tell her about this now, I'm not sure how she would react. She is too young to handle such complications machan. Ana ipo idhu pathi nii pesati inum mosam ayidum (But it could get worse if you delay). It's better you clear it now. I will take care of her."  Rakshan was also not very clear of Sivaagi's mindset at that point but he thought 'the sooner the better'.

For a second Ashwin gasped thinking, "shoot! Is that what everyone else felt?"

He was genuinely there to cheer her on the Super singer stage like how she was always there to support him. But he never thought it would be understood this way. He should have not agreed to this he cursed himself for unintentionally creating the feel within her and for creating this illusion around them for the audience to notice.

"Now I don't know how to explain her about all this. I don't want to break her heart. But I don't want to hide all this and use her for content. That would be totally wrong and she would be shattered when she gets to know. I cannot hurt her in any way. She is an angel and she deserves all love and no pain Raksha. She changed my image in the crowd. She put me in spotlight. I would have been unseen, but she was the one who showed me to the world" Ashwin's eyes were brimming with tears and he was fighting to pull it back.

Sivaangi stood there rooted. She overheard everything from the changing-room. She had entered to get into her costume as all the others were occupied, when Ashwin was in deep thoughts. She dint want to disturb him so she slid into the room silently and thought of surprising him with her getup for that day. But in reverse, she has been treated with a bigger unimaginable surprise that felt like the ground was slipping from her feet.

https://youtu.be/GmYioowpnhw

(Kadhipoma Reprise, Instrumental BGM - Just feel the BGM to connect with her emotion. Dont get confused with the visuals :P. You can also play it while reading how she felt.)

Sivaangi never realized that she was in love with that man who she had met just a few weeks ago.

Love doesn't adhere with time. You can live with a person for an eternity and still not love him, and you can see a man for the first time and instantly fall in love. It just happens when it has to happen. It is just the matter of spark that lasts. She had a huge crush on him but unknowingly it has already developed into a beautiful love that only she was a part of. 

All she knew was he has struggled so much to come to this point and she gave him all that she could unconditionally.

She felt lost and helpless. A girl, who has faced many negatives and hate head-on, was shaking, hearing the 2 men speak about her own unexplored feelings.

Her young brain couldnt think much beyond the very moment that she cherished with him. Her eyes were always in search of him. She can't stand a word against him. She cannot see him low; if that happens she would rush to him and quickly sing "their song" to cheer him up. That somehow worked like magic on him and brought a cute blush to his face.

She made him smile from heart. It was one pure, selfless, love. She has given herself without expecting one percent of him in return.

"Is this love? Is this how it feels to be in love? Were my eyes that explicit to convey everything or was it just him who saw through my eyes? But why dint I realise anything? why are things ending even before it could begin?" She leaned on the wall behind her and sank to the floor. She held her head between her hands. Realization washed over her in alternating waves of pain and numbness. She was not able to cry out her pain. Not even one single drop of tear rolled down her cheek.

"Now how should I react? Should I tell him I'm perfectly all right, don't worry Ashwin? Or confess that what I was feeling was sudden, realized, Unrequited love towards him?" she could just not think straight.

Even after knowing the truth and realizing her love for him that is never going to be hers! Ever! All that she wanted was to make him feel comfortable. Though her heart was wrecked, she dint want to put him in misery. She knew he can't be hers, but that cannot change the love she has for him, can it?

How can she be this matured when it comes to Ashwin? At times she becomes his mother and goes out of her way to protect his heart at the cost of her own heart.

She closed her eyes and tried her best to calm her mind; she pulled herself together before she stepped out of the change-room.

Her entry put them in freeze. They least expected her there and they know she would have heard pretty much everything. Ashwin was not able to comprehend anything with her expression. Her ever expressive eyes conveyed nothing to him. He just stared with a wide open eyes that cannot shut, like the whole world was breaking and crumbling apart around him. He just sat there uncertain of what will happen next. 

Rakshan kept looking at Sivaangi and was getting ready mentally to protect her, what so ever happens the next minute. The room was so silent that the sound of their unsynchronized breath was heard loud.

Sivaangi stepped forward and Rakshan gave way for her to sit next to Ashwin.

"Should I wait outside?" Rakshan asked just in case if she wanted to talk to him alone, but he wanted to stay there by her side.

"Illa anna irunga" Sivaangi said in a clear voice that startled both the men in the room.

(No. Stay here)

She made herself comfortable and held Ashwin's hand in hers. They were facing each other and Ashwin was sitting there mum, unable to react. His heart was racing fast and he was confused to see clarity in her eyes. He just kept looking straight into her eyes when she started talking.

"Ashwin, first of all, en kita pesa enna ungaluku thayakam?(Ashwin, first of all, why was it difficult for you to talk to me straight?) You think I would not understand? I am 21, I may not be as matured as you or Rakshan anna for that matter, but I do understand such things. I am happy for you Ashwin. I am genuinely happy for you and your girlfriend. Idhu ninga en kitaye kuda directa pesirukalam idhula enna iruku?(You could have directly spoken to me about this)" She continued as if nothing affected her.

"Enaku ungala romba pudikum, ana na ungala crush nu dhaney solitu irukeyn. Na onum ungala love panala Ashwin! ninga en ivalo yosikuringa?" she lied bluntly keeping a straight face.

(I really like you, but I only call you my crush. I am not in love with you Ashwin, What made you think so much?)

"I am happy that you care about me and my feelings adhukaga en ivalo worry panringa? You dint want to hide anything from me. Iva yaru? ivaluku edhuku solanum? apdinu dhan elarum yosipanga and ninga sona madhiri content kaga use panipanga ana ninga apdi iliye, idhulaye teridhey you are different from others. You are a gem Ashwin. Your girlfriend Maha, is truly lucky to have you in her life. Romba yosikama shoot ku ready avunga. I am very clear Ashwin. Ninga dhan romba potu yoschi irukinga, it is seen in your face" She said breaking her eye contact with him and trailing it towards Rakshan who was sitting in the opposite cot. 

She caressed Ashwin's hand as if to calm his soul, before placing it back on his lap.

(I am happy that you care about me and my feelings but why do you worry so much? You didn't hide anything from me. People take me for granted and use me for content, but you never did that. Doesn't this show how different you are from others? You are a gem Ashwin. Your girlfriend Maha, is truly lucky to have you in her life. Don't think much and get ready for shoot. I am very clear Ashwin. You have confused yourself a lot, it's seen on your face.)

Rakshan clearly saw she was lying. She knows her better than that to buy her lies. His eyes held 100 questions when she looked at him. He definitely knew she was hiding all her feeling to make Ashwin alright and to put him out of worry. So he kept quiet. But he was not settled with the fact that 'why she has to go through all this for Ashwin?'.If she is hurt she has all the rights to tell him, dint she?

Sivaangi understood her brother's unspoken words as she gave a knowing blink with a soft understanding nod that stopped him from asking anything.

Ashwin who was sharp enough to notice even a minute change in her expression, did not notice any of that. He sat there relieved, and with a distant look in his eyes cursing himself for thinking so much, and just trying to calm his racing heart. His mind was too occupied to note the lie in her eyes which she easily managed to hide from him for the first time. 

He only cared about not hurting her but he failed to realise that the damage was already done......


A blaring phone call thankfully disturbed Ashwin's flashback, midway. It happened 3 years back, but he could see it all in front of his eyes like it happened yesterday. The thought of the sequence of events that happened after that, brought unimaginable pain to his heart even after these many years. It was still a nightmare and he dare not think about it.

His head was jarring and his hand was aimlessly searching for the phone. He picked it up in his hand and his blurred teary vision cleared to read the name on his phone.

It was a call from his manager. He looked up at the screen to check the time. It was already half past noon. He realized he was sitting in the same place for more than 2 hours now and let out a deep sigh before picking up the call.

"Hii Arun sollunga" he said in a groggy voice.

(Hii Arun, tell me)

"Hii Ashwin! Are you asleep? Shall I call back later?"

"Ila solunga. Any updates?" enquired Ashwin clearing his voice.

"Oru promotion event Ashwin. It's on a talk show. This will be the last one for your Latest released movie and since it is the same team, you can give a little titbit about your upcoming project 'Enna solla pogirai' as well"

"Okay. Yaroda show?"

"'Sing with Sivaangi', Sivaangi oda show Ashwin at EVP."

His brain felt paralyzed. The first question that hit his head was, "How did she agree to this?"

She has avoided even to sing a song in his film to date. And why is this day filled with just her and nothing more?

She vanished from his life almost 3 years back and one fine day his life is having just her presence and nothing else since morning.

"Hello, line la irukingala Ashwin?"

(Are you there?)

"Yea yea I'm here" he stammered.

"Okay, just ping me the details. I'll talk to you later Arun" He hung up the call.

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"Illa ennala avara interview pana mudiyadhu!" Sivaangi said it a stern voice.

(No! I cannot interview him.)

She had just stepped down from the stage finishing the interview in which she sang Punnagai mannan song adding another point in her log book of stupidity. She was already kicking herself for doing it and when she learnt that the next interview was scheduled with the person from whom she was keeping away from, only triggered her to say a BIG NO!

"Ila madam Idhu channel request, we can't deny" the person from her team insisted.

(It's Channels request we cant deny it)

Sivaangi was race walking towards her room to just shut the world behind her when the assistant was following her helplessly trying to fix a date and get back to his work.

Roovfa and Prathima were seeing all this from far. Prathima signaled Roovfa to talk to her. She stopped her in the passage leading to her room and gestured the assistant to leave.

"Ulla va pesalam" Roovfa said as she led Sivaangi's into the room.

(Get in, Lets have a talk)

She made her sit facing her.

"Enna prechana unaku? Nanum pathutu dhan irukeyn, You are totally disturbed from the time you sang punnagai mannan song on stage"

(What is the problem? I have been watching you and you are disturbed since the time you sang that punnagai mannan song on stage)

"Onum ilaye" She put on a smile trying to hide everything. Her eyes struggled to meet Roovfa's eye.

(It's Nothing!)

"Enga enna pathu solu papom. Sivaangi enna nambi you have shared many things. But evalo nal nii ipdi Ashwin kita irundhu oditey iruka pora? You both are part of the same industry. You have already missed 4 songs from big music banner just because he was part of the movie. It is only going to affect your career Sivaangi. You don't have to talk to him, that is your call. But I don't want you to lose good opportunities just because of him."

(And can you say that by looking at my eyes? Sivaangi you have trusted and shared many things with me. But how long are you going to run away from Ashwin?)

"And coming to the interview, I really want you to do it. Be professional as always. It was requested by the channel but I also insist you do this. You trust me right?"

Sivaangi nodded meekly.

"Everything happens for good and I wish only good for you. If you protest doing this interview it will create a negative impact on you, which I don't want. Ashwin is a full-fledged hero now and people are celebrating him, like how they celebrate you as an established singer. Moreover, he was identified by our channel, so obviously they are trying to pull him in for TRP and integrating with the best show in the channel right now which is yours. I don't want you to lose your career Sivaangi. Trust me like always"

Sivaangi was carefully listening to every word from her mentor. She was like a second mother to her and she values her words. 

She gave in blindly without thinking anymore. Come what may she was ready to face it.

While she was driving back home, her cars music player warbled "Christiana Perri's - A Thousand Years". Her head turned towards the player and her left hand automatically lowered the volume. She smirked and looked straight on the road.

Her love might have not died over the years but she was too devastated to look over her anger, disappointment, fear of losing herself. All of that has taken over her heart and buried 'love' deep down far beyond her reach.


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Sooo how was it?

How did you like the confession moment?

I hope you were able to connect with Sivaangi's emotions when she overheard Ashwin and Rakshan.

Do share your thoughts in the comments even in previous chapters and I would be replying 💜

https://www.instagram.com/dk_storiess/ 👈 That's my insta handle and I would be posting updates there as well. Do check it out 💜

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