Hallucinations
It was the first day at this new school.
The week before had been a little too quiet, and full of night terrors. I woke up in the middle of the night screaming every time, and Cousin Mary would come running in to comfort me every time. It made me feel kind of bad, but she never seemed tired. She would calm me down and then sit with me until I fell asleep again, and then I wouldn't wake up for the rest of the night.
I didn't want to go to school. I didn't want to meet new people. I didn't want to have to explain, on paper, in front of an entire classroom, that I was mute. Just thinking about how the day was going to go made my brain ache.
"Oh, Mira, I'm so excited!" Mary chattered. "I can't wait! Look, I'm shaking!" She held her trembling hand up. She went on, but I tried my best to block her out. I was about to start hyperventilating.
"Mira? You don't look well," Grandma Abigail said, looking through the rear-view mirror. All I could do as response was shake my head to agree with her.
"Oh, Mira, don't worry," Mary said gently and put her hand on my arm. I flinched a the sudden contact, but she either didn't notice or pretended not to. "I talked to the principal. She's made sure we have almost every class together. The only one is last period. And I've told your teachers about your... that." I could tell she didn't want to sound offensive, so I shoved my pride down to the pit of my stomach. I nodded my thanks and she smiled in an understanding and gentle manner.
Today was going to be a long, long day.
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Mary's arm circled mine nearly all day. She introduced me to classes, spoke to our teachers, and made herself a lot of friends. I didn't make any friends. I just sat at the lunch table we were invited to and pushed my salad around in the container.
There it was again. The phantom presence. I could've sworn multiple times that someone was standing right behind me, close enough to touch. My muscles tensed and, again, I reached for a weapon in my belt that wasn't there. I took a subtle peek behind me and saw - nothing. Again. Just like every time I tried to see the phantom presence.
I left the table and tossed my salad into the trash. I went straight into the bathroom, splashed my face a little, and looked up into the mirror to check my complexion.
I whirled around, fear rising in my stomach and threatening to spill. Nothing - it was nothing.
Great, now I'm hallucinating, I thought to myself as I splashed my face again. For a second there, I thought I saw -
Searing light burned my eyes, and suddenly I was looking at a torch in the darkness. There was a man holding the torch, waving it, and a sword, at cloaked figures. There was an air about them, one that made a chill go down your spine at the evil of it. I could hear their high-pitched screeches digging into my ears, worming into my brain and poking my skull like a nail.
And then I was back in the bathroom, back at the new school. My head still ached and my ears still rang as I calmed my racing heart and joined Mary once again.
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It was the last class of the day. The teacher was an attractive man in his mid-thirties, and he looked as if he made a lot of money. At least, more than most teachers at that school. He smiled as I walked in, but I didn't return it. I handed him my note and he nodded, standing up. He wasn't much taller than I was. He showed me my seat - at the back of the classroom.
I didn't even know this guy and he was already my favorite teacher.
I sat carefully, not wanting to make too much noise in the silent classroom. The man introduced himself as Mr. Thomas, and he told me I could do whatever I wanted until the class got there, that our class was small, and that the other students were the of the more mature kind, and they were all smart. That had to've been the best news I'd recieved all day. And then he explained that today, Wednesday, was the one day out of the week they used to catch up on work, study, do whatever. But since I was here, I was forced to be the subject of a 20-Questions game of sorts. Twenty questions from twenty students, and I would have to write my answer on the board since I was mute.
I could feel my face fighting between color drainage and complete flush. I gulped as I nodded and he went back to his desk. As soon as he sat down, the door opened and the rest of class filed in.
Mr. Thomas introduced me once everyone was settled and I shuffled to the front of class, my eyes downcast. I heard a few whispers, but I couldn't hear them well enough to discern words. Mr. Thomas passed out small slips of paper, and each student was instructed to write a question on it, along with their names. And the questions couldn't be the same, so they would actually have to speak to each other to make sure they weren't the same. I stood up there for about ten minutes before all of the pieces of paper were handed in and Mr. Thomas told me to get a marker. I chose black.
"First question, asked by Abby. Make yourself known, Abby." A pretty girl in the front row waved in a nice, gentle way. My fingers itched to slap her in the face. "It says: How old are you?"
I wrote on the board in my short, slanting handwriting:
I recently turned 14.
I shook the sleeve of my jacket down and gripped it, wiping the marker away.
"Second question, from Matt." A burley guy in athletic attire waved like I was an old friend. I, again, felt like backhanding across the face. "Are you single?"
A chorus of rabid laughter.
I made a split-second decision and wrote:
No.
I could've sworn there were a couple of groans of defeat as I wiped my answer away.
"Third from Anya." A small, shy-looking girl wearing glasses with her nose in a book raised her slender hand. "Do you enjoy reading?"
A lot of people rolled their eyes, but I couldn't help smiling as I wrote:
I love reading.
The girl, Anya, smiled a little, returning my gaze. I erased my answer.
The questions went on and on, and when they were done I was allowed to sit. I let out a breath and forced my shoulders to relax. I was going to be fine. I was not going to puke.
A slender finger tapped my shoulder. "Hey. Mira, yeah?"
I turned to look at Anya. She was attractive, despite the fact that she was skin and bones. I nodded slowly.
"So, you like reading too?" Another nod. "Are you reading anything right now?" I dug through my backpack and took out my book, showing her the cover. Her eyebrows raised. "Lord of the Rings, huh? I like that one. Have you read it before?" Nod. "The movie was okay, but I think the book was just a little better." A nod of agreement. "So do you have all of them?" Another nod. "Cool."
We kept "conversing" until the bell rang, and then she walked with me to my locker, explaining that she kept all her things in her backpack.
Mary was leaning against the side of the building next to the parking lot, and she waved when she saw me. "Did you make any friends today?"
I jabbed my finger over my shoulder at Anya and Mary shook the girl's hand. "Hi, I'm Mary, Mira's cousin...." I stopped listening to the conversation and studied the area around me. My eyes landed on a dark figure wearing a black cloak, the hood drawn to shadow his face. My breath froze in my throat and I gripped Mary's arm.
"Mira, what's wrong?" I looked at her for a split second and then back at the man, but he was gone. I put my hand over my stomach and choked while swallowing the bile in my throat. "We should get you home," Mary said gently, and she said goodbye to Anya just as Grandma Abigail pulled up.
Mary didn't say a thing to me as we sped back to the house, my head in her lap and my legs folded in front of the door. She helped me to my room and into my bed, then went off to get some medicine. When she came back, she looked me deep into the eyes, and for some reason, I had the urge to explain everthing.
So I did.
It took a really long time, the sun was going down, and my phone was almost dead. I explained my nightmares, the phantom presence, the flashback, and the guy in the bathroom and at the parking lot. She didn't say a word until I was finished.
"I don't know what's going on," she said, in a most serious tone I had ever heard her use, "but we'll figure it out. Together. I promise."
And somehow, I believed her.
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