____________________________________

A fit of shuffling goes on in the quaint, empty bathroom as the brunette pulls at the paper towel dispenser in rapidity. Each piece coming out with the rapid pull of her hand.

Jade wipes at the corners of her lips with the rough, recyclable paper towel. The harsh material grating against her lips, completely removing the film of lip balm she applied on earlier this morning.

The smell of vomit on her breath becomes nauseating, forcing her to pull out the unused plastic water bottle from the mesh side of her backpack. The plastic annoyingly crinkles as she desperately opens it, starting to drink at a normal pace.

An intermittency of gulps sound as Jade chugs down the water. The intensity of the drinking seems as if the brunette believes that its consumption will cleanse her. As if the water will infiltrate every bit of her soul and make it pure again.

Her eyes shut tightly with the wrinkles on her eyelids exhibiting her desperation until there is no more water left. Droplets of the liquid stick to the internal crevices of the water bottle as the brunette gradually brings the bottle down. She looks into the mirror to see her composed self. Her brunette locks in an organized mess while her eyes show no sign of sleep depravity or distress. Only if her external looks could represent how she truly feels on the inside.

She tosses the bottle into the trash, disregarding her usual need to recycle as she prepares to exit the bathroom and head-on with the rest of her day with so many thoughts pestering her mind.

________

"Ah, fuck."

Jade awkwardly and speedily grapples at the three books that have found their way in mid-air. Her faint grunts catch the attention of Lucia, the perky strawberry blonde who resides two bookshelves down.

"Hey, keep it down! Charlie might hear you," Lucia playfully yells across the library, giving a slight nod in the elderly man's direction. The older man with the thick gray mustache and beige hearing aid lounges in the office chair behind the front desk, taking a peaceful, oblivious slumber as the two girls run the library themselves.

Jade lends Lucia a weak smile as she holds the book she nearly dropped a few seconds ago. She wants to entertain Lucia and join in on the joke but too much is on her mind at the moment. The events from earlier in the morning never leaving her conscience.

Lucia eyes Jade in hesitant suspicion as the brunette simply huffs and goes back to stuffing the books onto the shelf. The strawberry blonde knows by now that no matter how annoying she may be, the brunette would usually entertain her antics so she can't help but question Jade's odd response.

"What's the problem?" Lucia states bluntly as she leans casually against the side of the shelf, crossing her arms and legs.

Jade doesn't even look up, allowing her loose locks to cover her face as she responds, "What are you talking about? I'm fine." She continues sorting the various books, concentrating on their spines to read their titles.

"You're not." Lucia's smile fades as she understands that Jade actually is hiding something. Her stare intensifies on the brunette that is trying to act causal by pulling the cart full of books down the shelf.

"I am."

"Okay," Lucia pauses as she lunges forward to pull the library cart full of books out from in front of Jade. "Our friendship doesn't function like this."

Jade snaps her head at the blonde as if she had four eyes. "Friendship? We've only met one fucking week ago. What type of friendship could we possibly have that would make me spill out all the types of fucked up that's going on in my head," Jade expels in one breath.

"The soulmate kind. That fact that you're telling me this much shows that you trust me. It's a sign that we were meant to meet, but that's beside the point," Lucia says matter-of-factly as if she didn't just refer to Jade and her as soulmates.

"What the actual fuck?" Jade is astonished, to say the least, by how loony this chick really is. Does she really think they're soulmates?

"There we go. There's that venom. Now that I got your attention, tell me what has your little goth heart moping around."

Jade ignores the 'goth' comment and grants Lucia a confused glance before going back to her work, so badly wanting the bell to ring so that she can just run away from this crazy bitch.

"Seriously, you haven't even commented on how annoying you think I am since we've been in here. I know you find me annoying as fuck but that's my charm, that's what keeps you from completely shutting me out like you do everyone else."

A brief wave of realization hits Jade momentarily as she grabs for another book from the cart. She purposely avoids Lucia's gaze as she feels partially exposed.

"What are you, a shrink? Can we just do our job and forget about it?" Jade rushes as Lucia's words stew in the back of her mind, adding to the mess of her inner turmoil.

"Technically, it's not our job. We're not getting paid." Lucia challenges, observing Jade's profile since the brunette refuses to look at the blonde.

Jade spares her an annoyed glance, threatening her with the clenching of her jaw.

Lucia takes the hint and gives up, grabbing a handful of books from the cart and heading to the other side of the shelf that Jade is working on.

"You admit there is an 'it'," Lucia adds under her breath.

"What?" Jade asks hearing the faintness of the whisper.

Lucia pushes aside the books on the shelf to view Jade on the other side. The brunette rolls her eyes at the sight of Lucia and her optimistic aura.

"You admitted that there is a problem. Now let me help."

Hearing that causes Jade to pause in her motion for a brief moment but she proceeds to ignore Lucia for the hundredth time this class period.

Hearing somebody ask to help is foreign to Jade. Her problems have always been her own to deal with and conceal. They've been secrets that she's planned to keep to herself because no one in her life has cared enough to listen.

Jade softens up a bit to Lucia's openness, stopping to fully acknowledge Lucia's existence in the shelf. Her head full of untamed strawberry blonde curls hang just above her folded arms that rest on the mahogany wood surface of the bookshelf.

Jade nervously fiddles with the corner of a slim book she happened to pick up while looking at Lucia. She uncomfortably looks down after being intimidated by the avid curiosity and impatience exuding off of Lucia to eye the book that reads The Price of Salt across its front. The particular book brings Jade back to her freshman year of high school. The book that brought her grief, but comfort in how she began feeling about her sexuality.

The memories that begin to flood in are interrupted.

"Jade, tell me," Lucia practically begs as she waits patiently on the other side of the bookshelf.

"I'm worried about going to Kinsey's," Jade states plainly as she continues to look at the book in her hand.

"Really? Is that all that was bothering you? Just going to Kinsey's house," Lucia questions in disbelief.

Only to Jade, going to Kinsey's is more than what Lucia thinks. To Jade, this means confronting her fears and possibly allowing herself to be potentially consumed by what she perceives as the darkness.

Lucia notices how tense Jade becomes. "You're always welcome to cancel your plans with her and do something with me. I mean, do you know how heartbroken I was when I saw your text in third period saying that you had to cancel our plans to go hang out with the football captain? That shit hurted Jade. It hurted," Lucia says with a fake pained expression, dramatically ending her short rant.

Jade stares at her with a quirked eyebrow. "You're so fucking annoying."

"And there is my Jade."

Lucia notices the solemness in Jade's attitude despite her attempt to lighten the mood. "It's not going to be that bad. Look on the bright side, at least you might get in good with the football team. With all those sweaty, muscular guys walking around I truly envy you, Jade."

"Yeah, you're horrible at this shit."

"I know," Lucia huffs out in admittance.

Jade breathes out, grabbing for her phone that starts buzzing in her back pocket. She looks at the lock screen, seeing a preview of a message she just received from Kinsey 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩 . Her heart starts racing as she holds the phone closer to her chest. She didn't notice the emojis of the two girls kissing next to Kinsey's name on her phone until now. How could she have missed that shit? She could feel warmth and panic build up in her chest cavity.

Kinsey👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩:
Practice is gonna be short today so wait for me by the field after school.

Jade doesn't want to admit it but the thought of waiting for Kinsey gives her some fluttering stomach pain. Maybe she forgot to grab something to eat this morning?

K

That's all Jade can bear to send to the blonde. Thoughts of completely ignoring Kinsey and just going home pass her mind but subside once she takes into account how much she wants to pass the class and maintain her status as a high-achieving student since it seems to be one of the only things that she has going for herself.

This meeting is strictly for the project so why is Jade anxious about going to Kinsey's house?

"Who texted you?" Lucia buds in, desperately straining her neck to get a look at the brunette's phone screen.

"No one," Jade snaps before stuffing the phone in her back pocket.

Lucia questioningly analyzes Jade before moving on. "Whatever let's just get our bags. The bell is about to ring in three."

Jade complies even though she can feel the thumping in her heart increase. Jade fondly looks at the copy of The Price of Salt that is wedged in between The Phantom of the Opera and Pride and Prejudice. The drawing of the two blonde women on the front of the book captivates Jade with its simplicity. She gets lost in the brief memories of reading the particular book in the far back of the library at her old high school. She remembers first finding the book only because she was stuck in the library since her parents forgot to pick her up from school while Melanie was out of town for the week on some field trip. The book served as her escape as she felt more of a connection with the fictional characters than with her own family members.

Jade decides to come back to reality and snap out of her little daydream. She proceeds to pull the empty cart to the storage room with its rusted wheels squeaking all along the way.

_________<~>_________

A/N: Alright, don't kill me, guys. I know y'all wanted some Jade and Kinsey interaction, but we need to know more about our girl Jade and her struggles.

Don't worry, Kinsey and someone else will make an appearance in the next chapter.
...
So, what did you think of Lucia referring to Jade and her as soulmates? Did you think she was genuine about it or just saying it as a way of "getting Jade's attention?"
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Also, what are your thoughts on Lucia as a character? She was kind of last-minute but I think she is going to become someone important.
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Last question: What do you guys think of Jade's "inner turmoil" in this chapter?