━━ CHAPTER FOURTEEN / honesty

What possessed Ronny to go to Steven's that night despite what she had found out was beyond her. But she stood in front of his door, no make-up on and her hair tied up. A large overcoat on as she waited for him to answer. He had let her up upon hearing her voice and she was just waiting for the door to unlock.

It did and Ronny waited to work out who was on the other side. She had researched more into what she believed Steven/Marc had and realised that they are completely different identities it seemed. They are unique and separate. Sometimes they don't even have each other's memories which meant that Steven may have been innocent in Marc's little cruelties or he was willfully ignorant.

However, considering Steven's unawareness of Ronny's real job and relationship with Marc, he mustn't be co-conscious with Marc if they were separate identities. Ronny was basing this all of assumptions which felt somewhat cruel but it was the only thing that made sense. And Marc himself had said that he and Steven were the same but different. It was the only thing that made sense to her, at least for right now.

"Hi." It was Marc. The American accent and dulcet tones that made some part of her melt but he was just another man. Another cruel man that was nothing like the husband she had lost.

"Do you have Dissociative Identity Disorder?" Ronny asked before she could even work out why she had said it. Marc stared at her, dumbfounded and he stepped back. He gestured for her to come inside so she did and walked over to his stacks of Egyptology books on his desk, "You said you and Steven are the same but not the same people. That you are two different identities. So, Steven doesn't know what you do? Or what you say? Or who I am to you?" Ronny's words were leaving her mouth faster than she could comprehend but she just wanted answers. Her head was spinning and he had betrayed her, invaded her private life.

"Steven has no idea about Khonshu or the scarab or my job as a mercenary. You are simply Ronny, the ex-archaeologist," Marc responded. Ronny nodded and Marc crossed over towards her. He could see how her emotions were overflowing, threatening to spill out.

"And you're the one that slept with Kaylea? Not Steven?" She asked. Marc nodded. That was a lie. He only knew of Kaylea from his surveillance of Ronny's day-to-day life. They had never even spoken but he was willing to lie.

"Steven doesn't know anything about this or her. Only what you've told him." Ronny nodded and pulled the chair from under the table. She sat down and Marc watched her cautiously from the other side of the room.

"You're not lying to me, are you?" She asked. Marc shook his head and walked over. He leant against the table as he stared up at the ceiling, unsure how to proceed with the conversation. He could feel Steven pushing to get through even without being conscious of their conversation, "When I first met Steven, I thought you were just pretending. Do you remember any of it?"

"I saw all of it." Ronny nodded, tapping her fingers on her thigh before she looked up to meet his gaze. He seemed to know what she was about to say before he even asked the question, "I knew where your apartment was anyway." That wasn't surprising. It was in their job description to know everything about the other person. Whatever rivalry their Gods had, had invaded their lives and Ronny had a feeling that if their Gods ever possessed them at the same moment, the bickering would turn them mad. Ronny already felt like she was going mad most days.

"I know you have a wife. I can back off if you want." Marc didn't say a word, looking away and staying completely silent. He didn't know how to respond. So, instead, he stood up and walked towards the door, He opened the door and then his entire demeanour changed. That must be switching. Ronny had read about that.

Steven's cautious smile spread across his face. His shoulders hunched and his face seemed to soften as he turned away from the half-open door. He closed it with his foot and looked at Ronny who's face switched from confusion to contentment. It was all fake but Steven didn't deserve to be confused by what had happened. He walked over and knelt down in front of her.

"Ronny?" He asked softly. His British accent had returned and Ronny didn't know how to react. She stared at him and he just looked up at her, "Did I do something wrong today? At the museum?" Ronny shook her head aggressively. Steven had done nothing wrong. Marc had done everything but he switched before Ronny could even try and ask him to explain why he had done it. Why he let her stay with Steven when she was lying to him all the time? Ronny didn't know if he controlled switching or not but he went at a convenient time. She had more questions for Marc but it was Steven now and she couldn't interrogate him for sleeping with her best friend when he wouldn't even remember it.

"No. I just don't know what to do." Ronny found her voice breaking despite her desperate attempts to prevent it. Her throat was growing a lump and she just stared at Steven, completely besotted with the man. It had creeped up on her and she felt like a teenager, completely in love, and after the brief interaction with Marc, the feelings hit her like a speeding freight train, "I have some things I need to tell you."

Ronny kept out the details about her real job and Marc and the real reason for the bruises but confessed about her husband. Her past pain and how she was falling for him but terrified to let him get any closer to her. Steven listened and Ronny kept it together. She didn't even know why she was telling him. She was angry that she was telling him but she couldn't keep lying.

Once she was done and Steven had been so patient and listened like the saint he was, Ronny sat on his sofa while he made vegan chilli. She curled up, watching TV while she overthought every word she had said. It was bold of her to assume anything about him. Marc had only ever been someone she'd seen on missions and she had invaded his life first. His private life, his other life. Part of her couldn't blame him for sleeping with Kaylea because she had gotten close to Steven just to try and get information from him - back when she'd thought he was Marc.

Her rash decisions and every guilty feeling was eating her up from the inside. Part of her hoped that Thoth would appear and take her away, fighting would be a good stress relief but her bruises still hadn't healed from the last time and her ankle and wrist still ached from her fight with Marc and her fight for the scarab. So, she stayed quiet.

"Do you want to eat at the table? I'd have to move some books but we can have a proper sit down meal and we can talk about stuff, yeah?" Steven was rambling and she found it adorable. He went to grab some books to move them but Ronny got up and stopped him before he made a dent in the pile. She pulled her hand away from him quickly and smiled.

"Steven, it's okay. Just, we can sit on the sofa if you want," Ronny said as she stepped back. Steven nodded and they just looked at each other for a minute. Ronny hated herself. Marc didn't know about her husband but now he would, "I should go home." Ronny took a quick step back and pushed her fingers through her hair. It was getting greasy from how much she had touched it and sitting in this flat, with him, was a recipe for disaster.

Steven was amazing but she couldn't bring herself to betray her husband, not now, not ever. He was too important and Steven was lovely but another part of him hated her and she couldn't even be honest with him. He deserved somebody better than a liar.

"No, stay, please stay," Steven's voice had gone soft, heartbroken almost and she shook her head. He understood but that didn't mean he wanted her to go.

"I need to think and you need to digest what I told you. It's better if I go." Ronny found her accent faltering as she rambled and bolted for the door. Steven didn't bother going after her. When she walked into the corridor, Thoth was standing, waiting.

"The scarab is switching hands." was all he said and within seconds, Ronny had agreed to go. She stepped through the portal right into the house where the deal was due to take place. It was warm wherever she was and although she was certainly not dressed to fight, she could make it work. The corridors seemed too quiet but when she turned the corner, there was a group of men. Five of them, a security detail.

Ronny shouldn't have thrown herself in so recklessly but she did. Two were easy to take down and she used one of their bodies to knock a third to the floor before kicking them unconscious. The last two were considerably taller than her but without guns. They had long been discarded down the corridor. The one on the left was tall with brown hair and muscles that put Marc to shame. The one on the right was thinner and blonde but looked just as deadly.

The brunette threw a punch and Ronny ducked under, stepping forward and she jabbed her elbow into his stomach while using her other hand to catch the back of the blonde's knee, throwing him to the floor. She threw her fist into the brunette's back and with her added strength, his back arched as he stumbled forward. She turned, stamping the heel of her boots into the neck of the blonde who was attempting to climb back to his feet. Her other foot then stamped into his stomach but the brunette had recovered and wrapped his arm around Ronny's throat. She was dragged backwards, choking as she dug her nails into his chubby hands.

They came to a stop and the two conversed in what Ronny believed was French but she was too tired for it to translate. The blonde punched her, the brunette's arms still tightly around her neck. The throbbing pain in her cheeks only worsened but gave her a new rush of adrenaline. She placed on foot in front of the other and reached behind her and threw the man over her shoulders. His grip on her was too tight though and she went down with him. Coughing and scrambling back to her feet.

But before she could rush away to find the scarab, a vase was smashed over her head and she collapsed to the floor, out cold.

She only came back to hours later in a deserted house and a portal waiting for her. Thoth stood, unamused and unimpressed.

"Go to sleep. We will find it next time." Thoth's words were less of a comfort and more of a reminder of her complete failure so far. But Ronny walked through the portal and went to sleep, hoping that she could actually sleep tonight.

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