The blonde beneath me hummed as I kissed him, touched him... grazed his skin... his eyes were closed and the pleasured expression was clear on his calmcited visage.

I could hear the deafening heartbeats as I brought myself to continue... I...

I can't believe we're finally doing it.

The unnecessary barriers, blue, white and yellow were already on the floor, and what's left was the smooth white on yellow, the hot, wet goodness that came under.

The boy whimpered as I bit him, lightly... and I could feel his need growing too, from under that last black layer, breaking under the excitement.

He shifted on the soft below, his mouth an 'O' as he tried to contain the pleasure, the excitement as I massaged him slowly, lightly, lovingly.

"Le-"

I gasped, jolted up my bed, sweat trailing down my forehead. Then I panted... huff—puff— I looked around the room... nobody was there... a... a dream?

It was then I noticed a cold, wet feeling from under my pants... Did I...?

I looked down, my morning wood covered in sticky-white sap that had stained the light-yellow cover. I let myself lay down once again, curling up under the comfort of my warm blanket. I... I love him so much...

Why can't he... return it anymore?

I miss his words of love.

I miss being with him.

I miss Him.

I stayed there a little while longer, dabbling on the memories of us... it felt so long ago... and yet it felt like it was just yesterday that he was with me. Then I felt my tip touch the wet boxers once more... this is starting to get annoying... so I laid myself on my back, then pulled everything down, disposing of them onto the floor for later's chore.

Just as I stood up to head to my closet, my door blasted open. I jumped and panicked and saw, standing there was Rin, blushing.

"Get clothed, you pervert!" She shut the door with another slam.

I sighed, once you lie enough about something, you start to believe it...

But then there was that dream... argh...

I grabbed one of my casual shorts from the pile and pulled it on... the cold lingering feeling of fresh clothe on skin...

Just then, Rin barged in, again, and sat herself on the edge of my bed with her arms huffingly crossed.

"Why did you come here?" I asked coldly... it's never good news.

"The new kid's been talking a lot about you."

No!... he didn't... he couldn't!

"About?"

She shrugged, "he mainly just asked questions." Then she narrowed her eyes, her gaze piercing through mine, "what did you do with him in that recording session last week?"

"Nothing!"

"That better be true." She snapped accusingly, "we don't want him becoming like you too."

"Tch."

"Now, as for the concert tomorrow, you better not try and do anything funny."

"I won't." I replied, rolling my eyes, annoyed by her constant nagging. After all, I can't just leave him here.

"Good." Then she stood herself straight up, turned her back and headed towards the door. When she opened it, however, Oliver was standing there on the entrance, his lightly blushed face half-covered by his drooping long-coat-sleeves.

Rin froze. "Wha-what are you doing here, Oliver?" She faked a giggle, faked a smile.

"I-... I just heard you shouting is all." He answered innocently, his sparkling eyes averting hers to connect with mine... He looks so... so-

Suddenly, brown blocked my view. Rin had, quite rudely, shut the door behind her. "Well, let's go back to my room, shall we?"

I couldn't hear his answer, but I could still imagine his oh-so-cute nod before those footsteps sounded... I felt my heart ache again... it had happened too often by then... But I could never get used to it.

the ache that comes with crushing...

the ache that comes with heartbreak,

and the ache that comes with distant hope.

But I kept my chest out strong... I knew then he didn't hate me anymore... I knew then we had a chance... if even we could be friends...

Then a waft of exotic smell waved through the air, to my nose... The chloriney smell of... I groaned and slapped a pillow on to bury my head under, I don't want to do it now...

But eventually, I had to...

I melted myself off my bed and grabbed the two stained pieces on the floor, peeked at the insides... it made quite a puddle in there...

I chuckled to myself, tightening, clenching my grip to distract myself from the heartache that came with it, I love him so much...

Then I grabbed a few other clothes from the floor and buried it. Right in the centre to avoid any awkward situations. I clasped the laundry pile with my arms, painstakingly making sure none of it would fall out as I was carrying it, and just as I was about to bring it out, it hit me... I can't open the door like this.

I cursed myself as I dropped the pile behind me, opening the door before returning to the now messed-up pile, twice its clinched size.

Again, I wrapped a few larger clothes to seal the bottom, then clasped it between my arms... and just as I lifted the pile, a sock fell out.

It was then I finally cracked, and swore under my breath, "Ugh..."

＊＊＊

I brought the pile out, carrying it as it obscured half of my vision. Then as I trod the final narrow hall, I saw Oliver, standing there with an amused expression, staring as I walked past him.

Then he giggled. "You need help with that?"

I shook my head lightly and stuttered out a louder-than-normal "N-No!" Walking another step forward as I told him, "I have everything under control."

"Really?"

"Y-yeah!"

But stupid old me decided to lose my balance at that point, sputtering the hundreds of untouchables, pouring onto the floor. And the hell-stained couple was there!—exposed in the light!

I clenched my eyes shut, waited for the streams of ridicule or laughter—or even disgust! But none of them came. Instead, I could feel his soft hand on my shoulder, his kind words softening the piercing heartbeat, "I'll help you."

He gathered as much as he could carry, and brought it up... it looked cute. I gathered my half and just as we dropped it in the laundry room queue, he had pouted and quickly muttered in a whisper, "I still haven't forgiven you for what you've done."

He—He hasn't forgiven me?

He... still hates me?

Those words pierced into my heart—to ache once more. What did I do wrong?

Was it the lies I told you for so long?

But before I could ask anything, he motioned to leave.

"Thanks, Ollie."

He shot me a quick, harsh glare, and snapped in a purely despising tone, "Don't call me that!"

I droned myself to my room, closed the door and curled myself to a ball of despair.

Ugh... it really has to be all my fault isn't it?

Oliver's such a nice person... he would have forgiven me if it hadn't been something really bad.

And yet, I can't even figure out what I did wrong...

...just like the psychotic love villain... the stalker...

Would that... make me—?

But I couldn't continue the thought, the throbbing pain in my heart had reached its peak and I could only lay on the floor to wallow in its effect. Tears ran down, fled my eyes in my arduous attempts to regain myself. And I stayed there—stayed there still with the occasional sob and choke and hacking wheeze. It was only after a while—maybe an hour – maybe even two? – that I could finally feel and move my limbs to my will once more... but the clenching, aching—that horrible pain...

It's still there...