୨⎯ chapter eighteen ⎯୧
017. the letter

A FEW DAYS PAST AFTER THE WEIRD DREAM THAT SHE HAD, she had been going to the hospital every day to do a daily check in. each day, getting worse and worse giving her less time. less time to be with him.

it was around midnight, the moon was shining brightly going inside of her room. she was sitting in her bed with a pen and a paper in front of her, soft jazz music was playing in their tv and she wanted to write something.

she wanted to write something that she might not be able to do after, so she had to do it right now. Ruby doesn't know what to write in the paper without shedding a tear.

but after a couple of minute, they lifted up their pen and started to write on the parchment paper. she wrote whatever she felt that was gonna happen, whatever she knew was gonna happen. writing her goodbye letter was easy at first but once she got to the point where they had to write about Callahan, that's when the tears started to form.

Ruby knew how much pain she was gonna put Callahan through and she felt horrible, they hoped that they'll find someone else to get that pain away, but knowing him. he won't let no one in.

about a hour writing the letter was finished, at the bottom of the paper there was a tear drop that accidentally fell when she was writing.

and the letter read,

Dear to whoever is reading this,

im sorry, the first thing I wanna say. im sorry if what happened caused you pain, if what happened made you feel something that you might have never thought you would experience before.

im sorry Alex, im sorry that im just simply giving up on everything that's happening to me. it's not that I don't want to continue living, that I don't want to continue sharing my laughs with you, my totally amazing jokes with you. it's that I can't take this medication anymore.

i can't help the fact that im dying, and there's nothing we can do about it. unless someone is oh so kind enough to give me their perfectly healthy heart that I'll be alive, I'll be able to share all of my memories with you.

but other than that this is the end of us Alex Quackity.

I'm sorry Karl, Dream, Sapnap and everyone else for the fact that I can't handle any of this much longer. just know that I'm not in pain anymore. I'm fine now, I'm much better now, in a better place, taking my infinity breath...

I'm sorry Maggie, for how much I'm going to hurt him, for how much pain you'll have to deal with him and for you as well. just promise me one thing, you'll always continue growing your flowers, no matter how hard life gets, those flowers will always be there for you.

Callahan. I'm sorry, god I've written that so many times in less than a hour, but it's true. I'm sorry, I'm sorry mostly for you. I'm sorry that we won't share those cliche moments anymore, that I won't see you play the drums or tell you how much of a simp I am. I'm sorry that I fell so deeply in love with you to the fact that writing this letter for you it's making me realize how much life is taking away from me.

I love you, Callahan. if only I can actually tell you.

but at the end, it ends with us. it'll always end with us...

with much love,

Ruby. '

Ruby folded the letter in a square and put it inside of her backpack, wiping away the rest of the tears that slipped out.

She laid down in bed, remembering all of their memories together. not knowing if this might be her last.