The definition of love in the dictionary states, that love is "an intense feeling of deep affection".

But that's not how He explained it to me. He explained it to me that love was a weakness in a man. And in order to become a strong man with authority, you must not have any weaknesses. Instead, I was taught how to hurt. How to use my body to exert emotional and physical pain to those who were innocent, for the most part.

I had been living in His house for a few weeks. I was kept in a shabby room, with no windows. The floor was pure dirt from the earth below my rusted metal bed. There was one light, which hung from the top of the ceiling, its yellow contents lighted the room only partially. There was only one door, which locked from the outside. It was a large oak door, with bolts and hinges that could make you need a tetanus shot if you touched it.

However, there was heat in the room, even on the cold winter mornings, I could never tell if it were below freezing or not. Another plus, I was fed three square meals a day, with water every two hours. So, physically I was alright, mentally, not so much.

Anyway, one day I looked up from my book when I heard the big oak door being unlocked and open. It was Him, and he said he had a surprise for me. He motioned for me to follow, and I did as I was told.

We walked down the narrow hallway, passing two other doors. We stopped in front of the third door. He smiled at me, his yellow teeth almost looked like fangs. "We are going to have fun today..."

I gulped, I didn't know what was going to happen, but I knew it wasn't going to be good. We walked into the room, which was similar to mine. A woman laid naked on the ground, her feet, hands, and mouth tied up with ropes and cloth. He told me to take a seat on the bed, which was adjacent to the woman. I sat with such disbelief and caution, you could say I was scared.

I watched as he began teaching me about the women's body. About how fragile it was. He explained to me that there were only three things a woman was good for. "The CHF. Cooking, Hitting, and Fucking" is what he would always say. He showed me the woman's breasts, and how plump and ripe they were. He showed me her long hair, and how to grasp and hold her down with it. And finally, he showed me her lower parts.

After the long anatomy lesson with Him, he moved on to what us men had to do with women. Ignoring her desperate cries and softened screams, he quickly unbuckled his belt and yanked out his male extremities.

He proceeded to insert his penis into the woman's vagina. With each moan and cry, I winced in uncomfortableness and disgust. My eyes sealed themselves shut, but the image of Him fucking the woman was still embedded in my mind. I covered my ears, to prevent any sound, but the woman's cries haunted them with loudness.

His hand pulled mine away from my face. He snarled at me, "You need to watch and learn!"

Before I knew it, my clothes were being torn off by Him. My pants were unzipped. My shirt ripped away from my small pale chest. He carried me over to the women, who was on the verge of passing out.

We both strangled, trying to get out of the bids that pinned us down. He took my body, and forced it onto hers. We both screamed when our skins touched.

And then I felt nothing. Absolutely nothing. I just went limp, and let Him force me into the woman who lay in front of me. I couldn't do anything. My senses clouded with the embarrassment and fear that came from the situation. With every push forward onto her, my mind went darker.

After awhile, my senses cleared and I was sitting on the bed again, with only my pants on. In my hand was a knife. The edge was sharp and shiny. I looked up, and there He was, smiling his evil smile.

"She's served her purpose to you and I. Now...kill her."

I stared at him blankly, remember the last time we went through this.

"We don't have to go through this again do we Boy?! I said kill her! Plunge the fucking knife into her heart!" He raised his voice, coming closer to me.

I stood up slowly, hands shaking. I walked over to the women, bare and scared. I looked into her brown eyes, which had a slight tint of blue. I looked into those eyes, as I stabbed her 17 times.

I was only 12.