13.

Alex Townsend. How is he going to survive a night in a room in a place like The Flesh Factory? The same way anyone else will, can, or ever has. This is what will do it for him, or at least give him the best opportunity to come out of this as well as well can be. If his four friends can do it then so can he. Thing is, he doesn't know if any of them will survive let alone survive himself. Be strong, survive the night and each of his friends will be there for him when it is done as he will hope to be there for them. Easier said than done.

And as for how his night locked inside a darkened room begins, well it couldn't play more on his fears than what it will do for there is a voice speaking to him almost right from the offset, a voice from within the darkness, a voice that should not exist, the voice of his dead little brother.

'Why did you leave me out in the cold? ... Why did you leave me to die ...?'

'Declan? You ... you can't be here ... I can't ... I can't see you ... where are ....?'

'You locked me outside ... you left me to die ...'

'No, I didn't. I didn't know you went outside. Why did you go outside? It had been snowing ... why were you outside?'

The voice is still hiding in the darkness, as his brother had been hiding on the evening that was. Alex cannot see his brother. Edging his way forwards does nothing to bring him any closer. It has gone cold, so very cold. It wasn't quite so cold when Alex first entered the room, but the coldness is moving in ever so quickly and yeah, Alex has only been in here a matter of seconds.

No breeze is bringing the coldness, why would it? Alex is indoors, right? There might be windows somewhere there in the darkness and it is cold outside but not this cold. This more than has a feel of having walked into a walk-in freezer or perhaps a blast chiller.

Seconds pass and a voice of a little brother has gone quiet ...

'Declan ... where are you?'

No reply and still Alex continues to move into the darkness. His steps soon begin to crunch. There is something on the floor and it is thickening with each step Alex is taking. It's snow ... indoor snow ... this can't be ... but it is. Scooping some up into his hands confirms it. There is snow in this room, real snow. Oh, hell no, how is Alex supposed to survive a night in this? And to compound things ...

'I', sorry ...' he cries out, 'Declan ... please ...'

Self-blame, an inability to truly forgive himself. He thought he was through with this, moved past blaming himself for his brother's death, guess not. Alex drops to his knees and then onto his side on onto the snow without sufficient clothing to be anywhere near where he so happens to be. The tears are in full flow, and it is only a matter of time until they turn to ice. This ... this is his punishment, a punishment he can now easily accept ... his life for the wrongs of the past.

In an instant he is transported, taken to a time from years gone by, placed into a memory as real as any other actual moment he has ever had. Reliving that memory as if it were happening right now, dad is about to drop him off at a clinic.

'It's only a chat, a conversation and nothing more. Doctor Eli has worked with many children over the years, helped them to see what is truly there ...'

'I don't want to ...'

'I know son. It's difficult, difficult for us all. None of us are to blame, it happened. It's not your fault, you done nothing wrong. Same for your mum and I, we blame ourselves too, it is difficult not to. Just a conversation is all right now, if you think it helps then you can see him again ... if not then ... we'll try something else. Ok?'

'I guess so' comes the hesitant reply.

'Right, I am going to head on into town. I'll be back here in half an hour to pick you up. When you are done with Doctor Eli, I will be right here waiting for you.'

Alex nods and tries to smile. 'His name is Doctor Eli ...?'

'Yeah, apparently it helps put those who come to him at ease. Is it working?'

'Kinda ...'

There is another smile, one that is a little more ... real, and dad shares it, half-heartedly ... still ... a smile is a smile. Alex gets out of the car and watches as dad drives off then makes his way into that clinic. Something catches his eye just as he is about to move through the clinic entrance. Outside and out of the corner of his eye Alex could see a boy and if he didn't know better, he would swear that the boy he momentarily caught sight of is his brother Declan.

Momentum had taken him into the building and away from the sight of that boy. He can't go on, not just yet, he has to go back and see. In the spot he was sure he saw Declan there is a boy, but it is not his brother. In the doctor's office, at first Alex finds it hard to sit still and he also finds it difficult to look directly at the doctor. This man is a stranger, a complete stranger, how is he supposed to talk about his feelings, his guilt, his brother with this person?

This man, this doctor fellow. He is old, much older than what dad is. To any average twelve or thirteen-year-old every grown up is old, but this fellow ... well. His hair, what little he has on either side of his head, is a pepper dashed dark brown as is his goatee. Yeah, that beard too, it is pepper dashed as it is also stringy, as if it were somehow ... fake. This adds to the want to not look directly at him.

The deal breaker is the top of the head. It is bald as bald can be and it gleams. The office lighting just bounces right off of it. Distracting to say the least, very distracting. Something else Alex finds distracting is a lollipop the clinic receptionist offered him. Alex is quite mature for his age, he is not one for lollipops, but he took it anyway, not wanting to be rude. He put it in his pocket and the feel of it there indeed is quite ... distracting.

'Hello Alex ...'

This doctor fellow greets him with the offer of a handshake and Alex responds to it. He was raised to be polite, still, doctor seems to be friendly enough despite or perhaps even with his physical appearance.

'I have spoken with your mum and dad, you know, just to get to know you a little. I would like to tell you right out that they love you very much. You do know that ... don't you Alex?'

Alex nods, throws an ever so brief glance at the doctor, and looks away.

'Sometimes children in your position can forget that or even believe that something else might be true when it simply ... isn't. What I would like from our chat today is to get to know you a little better ...'

It is difficult for Alex not to cry in this moment. His throat wells good and hard and he has to fight to prevent his eyes from tearing up.

'Would you like to tell me about your brother ...?'

That has done it, he can't hold back and the fact that he has begun to cry here in this place makes him feel all the more ... guilty.'

'It's alright young man, you can let it out here, you can let it all out. Even the best of us all cry at some point.'

'My fault ... it is my fault' Alex can't control it; he can't help it. This is a release that has been building and building. 'I killed my brother. I let him die ...'

'Aw, that is not true, now is it?'

'It may as well be true.'

Alex makes his way outside when the session ends and panic sets in, he can't see his dad or his dad's car. He did say he would be waiting outside. Alex had been inside the clinic for more than thirty minutes, so it is not that he has come out too soon. His searching looks dart all around, up, down and across the street, no sign of dad.

He closes his eyes, breathes in through his nose then out through his mouth, a calming technique he heard about on T.V. then the honk comes, he recognizes it straight away. It's dad, a little later that what he said he would be.

Laying in the snow in a room at The Flesh Factory with his eyes closed, he breathes in through his nose and out through his mouth and hears that beeping honk and instantly opens his eyes, more than half expecting to see or hear his father but his father isn't here. How can he be? It takes a second or two to realize that the moment of being picked up by dad and this moment right are two separate moments.

Alex is alone, trapped inside one of the rooms within The Flesh Factory and he quite likely would be doing extremely well to ever see the light of day again but he will not give up. That memory, if anything, tells him not to give up. That man ... the doctor ... he is who Alex thinks he is ... isn't he?