Caitlin Snow's Personal Observation:

I would like to tell you that everything was okay, that there was nothing wrong, and that everything was just rosy in the world right now. It would be an almost perfect place if that were the case...but even if I did say that, it would be a lie...

My name is Dr. Caitlin Snow. A scientist who works at S.T.A.R. Labs working alongside Central City Police Department, occasionally, but who mostly works as a scientist with my friends to help a man known in Central City as The Flash...but I know him as so, SO much more than that.

His name is Bartholomew 'Barry' Allen, but everybody calls him Barry because it's what he prefers being called, and he works at C.C.P.D. as a forensic scientist. He's one of the kindest men alive, no matter what anybody says about him, and he tries to help people without a moments hesitation. In 2014, he got struck by a lightning bolt created by the Particle Accelerator Explosion here at S.T.A.R. Labs and was given incredible abilities!

When that happened, instead of using his newly acquired speed powers to cause chaos and use it for ill, like so many over meta-humans did: he used his new-found powers as a force of good to help the people of Central City instead. And, despite everything that has happened and even the hard times that we've given him at times: I can say that, without a doubt, it wouldn't be the same without Barry.

He's Central Cities savior, and he's the reason a lot of good has happened...but lately, something has felt...well, off with Barry for lack of better words. Granted, ever since we all learned about a Speedster called Savitar, "The God of Speed" as said person dubbed himself, Barry has been different anyway and yet still doing good in the city whilst trying to figure out how to save Iris...but ever since Savitar had gotten free from the Speed Force a couple of weeks ago: he's been different, and not in a good way.

Savitar managed to get out by manipulating Wally's mind and tricking him into believing he was going mad, or that he needed to throw what was left of the Philosophers Stone into the Speed Force...and by "what was left", I mean what I had kept around to study for a way to cure me of my darker side, Killer Frost...

Wally did throw it into the Speed Force, and Savitar was let free instead of remaining sealed away, and poor Wally got trapped in the Speed Force Prison that Savitar had been trapped in for god knows how long! Barry had arrived on the scene too late to save Wally from being pulled in, but he tried to fight off Savitar and, well...it didn't go well...

Savitar completely outwitted Barry and beat him with ease, and gave him a serious injury by stabbing one of his suits daggers into Barry's right shoulder! I was able to remove it, but ever since then Barry has been in a lot of pain!

His shoulder has never fully healed from the wound he gained, and he doesn't have full strength back in his shoulder either, even despite his speed healing, which is really concerning; he also has been a lot less cheery and more broodier than what we're used to, and has a look of guilt and pain on his face every time one of us tries to talk to him, and his smiles are all but forced now, nothing like the Barry we all love!

This only got worse when he returned from within the Speed Force to rescue Wally: he did succeed with Jay's help after Cisco contacted him about the situation...but whilst Barry and Wally got out of the Speed Force, Jay didn't: he had stayed behind to take Wally's place, as according to Barry the prison required a Speedster to remain within it to maintain the balance. Wally seems to have recovered rather quickly physically, but psychologically it's a slow process.

I've also noticed that there has been a rift caused being Iris and Barry: before Wally got trapped by Savitar, the two seemed to have an argument of sorts, and when Barry was recovering I noticed that the engagement ring she had worn earlier in the day was now gone.

When I asked the others about it, or at least Cisco anyway since Julian isn't talking to me right now after the whole deal with the Philosophers Stone: Cisco said that Iris had given Barry back the ring and called off the engagement. As if Barry didn't have enough to worry about regarding Savitar, he now is alone again because Iris won't even speak to him now unless others are in the room.

Weirdly though, Savitar hasn't been causing any problems either since he got out, and I can't help but wonder why.

I was currently running tests in S.T.A.R. Labs and waiting for the others to come in. Julian was at C.C.P.D. working on some new case, what one I neither knew nor wanted to know right now; Cisco was working on some of his "toys" in the next room whilst trying to deal with Earth 19's Harrison Wells, or H.R. as he prefers to be called.

Wally was at the West family house still slowly recovering from everything he had been through regarding Savitar and his time in the Speed Force Prison, whilst Joe and Iris were both at their respective work places, taking in turns to check on Wally even though he insisted that he didn't need help. As for Barry? Well, that's the thing: I honestly don't know.

He was either working at C.C.P.D. in his lab, or he was hiding somewhere here at S.T.A.R. Labs. What was weird though was that I could even feel Killer Frost become slightly concerned, which considering she was supposed to hate Barry was confusing and surprising. Why was she worrying about Barry, and for what reason?

My thoughts were soon interrupted when Cisco came in with a confused look on his face. "Barry just arrived not long ago and asked me to give you this." That drew my attention a bit and I looked over to Cisco to see what it was, and to my surprise it was a small present with a note with my name on it attached to the ribbon. It wasn't my birthday, nor was it any special occasion, so why did Barry send this to me? Better yet: where was Barry?

"Where's Barry?" I eventually asked, and Cisco pointed down the corridor. "The Time Vault. He never said what for. Though..." I didn't fail to notice how he began to trail off when he said that, and I looked to by breacher best friend with a raised eyebrow. "Cisco? What is it?"

"It might be nothing...but lately the others have noticed Barry going into the Time Vault a lot more often lately. Joe even told me that he's asked Captain Singh for some personal days to sort somethings out." Cisco explained, though the concern on his face was evident, and honestly I couldn't blame him as I was getting concerned now too. Barry NEVER requested personal days outside of the anniversary of his mums death, and I only know that because Barry and Joe told me and Cisco.

I got up and went to find Barry, not yet opening the gift he had gotten me. I reached the Time Vault and tried to enter, but to my confusion I found that it was locked, which is not normal, and has not happened since the time we were trying figure out who Reverse Flash was 2 years ago. I knocked on the wall, door, whatever it is, but got no response.

"Barry...? Barry it's me, Caitlin." she said. At first, there was no response, which only served to worry me more...but then the door to the Time Vault unlocked silently and then opened up, and I slowly began to enter into the room. But when I got in, I was shocked to see that the room was in quite a mess, other than the Reverse Flash suit that was still present in the room, a suit that still sent shivers down my spine to this day.

And then as I looked over to see where Gideon's terminal was and where Barry was standing, I was left almost speechless by what I had seen.

Barry was standing in front of the terminal with his head slumped down so I couldn't see his head or face, seeing only a bit of hair in the process which looked longer than normal: his clothes seemed more darker than normal, with no bright colours at all. True, Barry has worn darker colored clothes many times in the past, but he normal has worn other colored clothes alongside of it as well.

He was gripping onto the terminal tightly with both hands like it would break if he didn't do so, but each hand had some bruises to them, small ones that would have gone unnoticed by anyone else had he tried to hide them. Hell, even I hadn't noticed them until now! But that wasn't the only thing that seemed out of place with him.

His arms were shaking a bit, and he seemed to be breathing in heavily, but in a way that suggested that every breath hurt him to do it! He must have something internal wrong with him, because there's no way that this can be right, not with Barry...right...?

I slowly tried to make my way over, but stopped when he spoke...but his voice was raspy, pained, sore and dry even as well! "Don't...don't come closer...please Cait..." That's when it happened: his legs suddenly gave way, causing him to collapse onto the ground and his head to clash with the terminal briefly, and causing Barry to fall onto the ground!

"BARRY!!!" I found myself shouting, and ran over towards him, dropping down to his side to check on what caused this...but I was not at all prepared for what I saw instead! His shirt felt wet or soaked in something, and when I looked at my hand out of the corner of my eyes...it had blood on it!

I dragged Barry up to his feet carefully and, as fast as we were able to whilst I applied pressure to wherever the wound was, I ran with him to a stretcher bed and laid him down on it, with Cisco and HR racing in immediately upon seeing me carrying Barry in this state!

They helped me put him on the bed and kept him down on it whilst I removed his shirt to see where the wound was...well, tore open the shirt, but hey: it was an emergency and I was rather impatient, it worked! But to my shock, there was at least 20 different wounds all over his chest and upper body, be them either cuts, scars, gashes, or bruises that never fully healed! And the scary part was that...was that all of these were recent ones as well!

Just what has Barry gotten into that could cause him so much pain, or that hurt him to this extent!? This couldn't be his own doing...could it? "Stay with me Barry!" I said aloud, more of a whisper and more like someone begging their loved ones...which I guess I was doing...

I managed to treat his injuries as best as I could and heal his wounds to the best of my abilities, but there was still a lot that wouldn't heal easily or maybe at all...but thankfully, Barry had survived and he was alive! We let him rest on the stretcher bed and I remained with him, watching over him to make sure he was okay, and for my own peace of mind as well.

It pained me to see him like this, and I could tell by the way that Cisco and HR were giving me space to be with the speedster that I...that I loved...that both of them could see that this was killing me inside. They never said a word, and I never said one either for the longest time.

Slowly, even though I don't know why at the time, I could feel my hand slowly moving towards the hand of Barry's that was closest to me, and as my hand came closer to his: I felt my hand slowly wrap itself into his hand. I looked down and saw what my hand had done, as if by itself, and then I heard in my head the words "You're not the only one that cares about him, Caity..." in a voice that was eerily like mine...and I immediately knew whose it was, to my own surprise: Killer Frosts.

"Cait..." I then heard, and I slowly looked down, seeing Barry slowly beginning to stir from his comatose-like state, and when his eyes slowly began to open, he looked up towards me with pained and almost distant eyes. I couldn't help but smile with watery eyes a bit before responding. "Hey..." I said slowly, and my hand gently squeezed Barry's.

It didn't go unnoticed by him, because I saw his eyes look down at his hand before smiling a small smile weakly and then looking back up at me. "How long was I out...?" he asked me throatily. I stalled a bit, and my smile had faded into a sad and tearful look. "A few hours...If, I hadn't helped then it would have been a lot worse..."

Barry's eyes closed again as he turned his head to the side to avoid looking at me, but he wasn't doing it out of avoidance, that much I knew was clear, nor was he doing this so he could rest...he was doing this because he was regretful, and that both confused me and worried me.

"Barry...what's going on? Please tell me...You've been acting differently since you got back from the Speed Force with Wally..." I pleaded, and whilst he did turn his head in my direction a bit, he didn't look at me...but the reason why became clear as I saw him tearing up. But that wasn't what scared me the most, it was what he said next that scared me!

"I screwed up, Cait...I messed up everything, and now...and now everyone that I've ever cared about is paying the price for it..." he said, and before I could respond, he continued. "I ruined Cisco's life by taking his brother from him...I tore apart Joe, Iris and Wally to the point that Iris wasn't talking to the other two...and I ruined your life because I gave you powers you never wanted and helped Killer Frost be born, and then failed to help you when I promised I would...I'm a screw up, and all I'm good at is screwing things up ever since Flashpoint...and maybe even before that..."

He ended up having to stop himself when he moved his hands over his eyes and trying to stop himself crying, but to no avail, and I began to tear up as well at everything Barry had said. Now things had become clear, or were becoming clearer at the very least, as to why Barry was the way he was now...he was in pain, not physically as it was obviously shown, but emotionally and mentally.

"Barry...it's not your fault." I said, gripping onto his hand and arm as he looked up at me, seeing the tear stained face of mine and looking surprised. "Yes, you made a mistake by creating Flashpoint, we know that...but despite everything, I don't blame you. None of us should have blamed you for it. And the reason I don't blame you for Flashpoint, Barry, is because I would have done the exact same thing if I had been in your place!

"If I could go back in time and save Ronnie from dying, or find a way to save my dad, all by going back in time and altering the past...I would have done it, Barry. And I know for a fact that everyone would have done something similar, if not exactly the same thing, if they had been given the choice! So please...please don't blame yourself for all of this Barry Allen! Please..."

I soon felt myself break down in tears in front of him, overcome by everything going on with the man that I love and all the pain he was going through! And I knew that it was affecting Barry to as I felt him pull me into a hug and brush his hand against my hair as we hugged and I buried my face into his collar.

"I'm sorry Cait..." he whispered to me, sounding like he was on the verge of breaking down too, as we laid there holding one another tightly in each others arms crying.

It took some time for me to calm down, and Barry just let me cry on him and in his arms, and when I did I whispered to him slowly as I tried to compose myself. "Please don't blame yourself Barry. If not for yourself, then..." I could finish my sentence at that, and slowly felt my head drop away so I wasn't looking at him, sitting up on the bed with my back to him as well. "Then what, Cait?" Barry asked me, not in a condescending nature but out of genuine concern that he seemed to have reserved for me.

"Then...then for me, Barry...Do it for me..." I said slowly, and with that I slowly attempted to get up and leave...but I soon felt myself being pulled back to the bed, and as I looked over to Barry confused...he kissed me on the lips! At first I didn't know what to think, and I was too shocked and surprised to ask either...but then I felt myself giving into the kiss and returning it with a small smile, wrapping my arms around him as I kissed back. Barry was kissing me...Barry Allen was kissing me!

The kiss started to get a bit more heated, which yes I am aware of the irony of that statement given who lives inside of me, and soon we were beginning to look like a hot mess...but of course that didn't last long, as eventually we both pulled out of the kiss to catch our breath, but both of us had looks of surprise on our faces and were blushing like mad. And I only know that because I could see my reflection in a mirror behind Barry.

Frost seemed to enjoy it as well strangely, and before I could say anything, I could feel Barry slowly pulling me into a hug before whispering in my ear. "Okay. For you, Cait." I smiled at that a bit, wrapping my arms around his waist as well as I buried my head into him. "I love you, Barry. Never forget that." I said aloud, surprising myself at how bold I was being right now by opening up to him, especially after the make out session we just had, if you could even call it that.

But surprisingly, I needn't have worried about looking like an idiot at saying that, because Barry soon said something that not only surprised me, but also a certain icy alter ego of mine too! "I love you too, Cait. You and Killer Frost, even if she hates me..." I looked to him surprised, even if I didn't break from the hug. "You do!?" I heard myself asking aloud in surprise, and Barry nodded in response.

"To me, Cait, you're both the same person. Even underneath all that cold, you're still you, and she's as much a part of you as you are a part of her. Even if I may or may not be the only one who thinks that." he responded, and even gave a genuine smile to accompany a nervous laugh after saying that.

I couldn't help but find myself smile to that, and soon I slowly moved my hand to the necklace around my neck...then I did something I never thought I would do in a million years, at least not willingly anyway: I removed the necklace from around my neck and let her take control, let Killer Frost take control!

Upon her taking control though, I was surprised to see everything that she could see whilst she had control. And what she did next surprised me...she jumped up on him and forced him onto the bed kissing him! If I wasn't inside my own head right now, or if I had been watching from outside of my body in someone else's body, I would have felt my jaw dropping at what Frost was doing to Barry.

I mean, it was surprising, very surprising in fact, but surprisingly I didn't seem to mind it. Maybe Frost was right after all: I wasn't the only one who cared about him. Barry had to use his speed to keep himself from freezing, as was shown when his body began to vibrate to combat Killer Frost's icy kiss from freezing him to death. Cisco was right about one thing: Speed and Cold were opposites, as the kiss proved...but I guess what others say is true as well: opposites do attract.

I'm not sure how long the kiss lasted, but Frost soon ended it and sat up before helping them both stand up. "I love you too, handsome. Just don't tell anyone I said that, or I'll freeze you." she said to him, a hint of sassiness to her as well as a hint of sincerity too.

"Don't worry, I'll keep your secret, Elsa!" we heard behind us in the room next door, causing us to turn to see who it was...and surprisingly it was Cisco who had said that, and he had a smug smirk on his face that didn't go away, even despite Killer Frost being in the room currently and looking angry at being referred to that icy princess in that Disney movie, Frozen.

To say that we were surprised by Cisco figuring everything out was an understatement, and I must admit that I did wonder how he had found out...that was until I noticed that Barry was looking up at one of the security cameras in the room, causing me to remember that he could have seen it from the security footage. I groaned at that, as did Frost who figured it out as well. For a smart person, I was incredibly stupid for not remembering the camera's being in the room or that Cisco could easily have looked at it.

"How long were you standing there? And how much did you hear?" I heard Frost asking, a threatening tone in her voice, one that didn't calm down even a little bit when Barry placed a hand on her icy shoulder...well, our icy shoulder, but you get the idea. Cisco just smirked knowingly.

"Long enough to know that my pals are head over heels for each other." he responded, before Frost glared and allowed me to retake control. I looked to Cisco pleadingly and said to him. "Cisco, please don't tell anyone about us! Not until we're ready. Please?"

Cisco could see how how serious I was, and soon his face adopted a serious yet understanding look as he nodded his head. "Okay. I promise." he said, giving me a reassuring smile before hugging me gently briefly. "Thank you, Cisco." Barry said, slowly coming over. Cisco nodded to him and pulled Barry into a brotherly hug, whispering loud enough so we could both hear him "I was worried about you buddy."

Barry merely nodded slowly, a look of pain and sorrow still present in his eyes despite what had happened in the last few minutes, and he said to Cisco. "I'm sorry, Cisco...If I..." "I know, bud, I know..." Cisco interrupted, slowly parting from the hug before slowly beginning to leave the room. "I hope...I hope you get better, Barry." was all he said as he left, leaving us once again on our own.

I slowly looked over to Barry, seeing him looking down at the floor sadly, before slowly I walked over to him and took his hand in my own. "You okay, Barry?" I asked him gently, worried once again for my now new boyfriend, or at least I hoped he was. Barry slowly shook his head a bit, his eyes closing as he did so. before responding. "No...but thanks for asking."

We sat in that room on the bed for god knows how long, Cisco and HR having gone home not too long ago, though thankfully HR hadn't found out about mine, Killer Frost's and Barry's little..."activates" for lack of other words, just leaving the two of us alone. Barry may have tried to hide it well, but I could tell that he was struggling internally with something, and I had a feeling that I knew what it was from our earlier conversation: his guilt, guilt that he didn't deserve to have to deal with.

He's done so much good for the world despite everything, even despite creating Flashpoint I dare say, and yet he is forced to carry the weight of the world on his shoulders, and carry a pain that I doubt even I could rival. Slowly, I laid my head down on his, kissing it for comfort as I closed my eyes and rubbed a hand along his back, being careful to avoid aggravating his wounds and any injuries that I'd already helped to stitch up.

"We'll get through this, Barry. You're one of the strongest men I've ever known, and know that whatever is troubling you...I'll always be here for you if you need me." I said, meaning ever word I said to him in that moment. Barry seemed to appreciate that, as he ended up smiling a bit for a brief time.

"I know. And...thank you for that Caitlin." he said, before briefly pecking me on the lips before asking nervously. "Uh, that is okay, right? Not too sure about...." "It's fine, Barry, and if you're worried about...us...I want it, if you do too." I interrupted, hoping he would say 'yes', or at least nod in agreement about it.

He smiled at what I'd said and responded by kissing me on the lips briefly once again. When he parted, he sighed a bit and adopted a more serious expression on his face. "I'm not sure what things are in store for us...but...can I ask with you to be patient with me? I just need time to fully become whole again..." I couldn't help but feel sorry for Barry again at that, but he needn't have asked me for my patience in this, because he would always have it.

"I will, Barry, you can trust me." He smiled briefly at that, and slowly began to stand, rubbing his tired eyes out of fatigue as he did so. "I should probably head back to Joe's...I'm staying with him for now until...well..." he was unable to finish what he wanted to say, but I already knew what he had been meaning to say. Iris still had their apartment that he'd gotten for her at Christmas, something that Barry himself had suggested when they decided to take a break, so he was staying at Joe's again for now with Wally.

I slowly nodded in understanding as I got up myself, starting to feel rather tired myself. "If you want, we can talk to the others tomorrow about you staying at my place. At least then they'd know that you have your personal physician to look after you if you need help." I teased him a bit when I mentioned me being his "personal physician", and he seemed to enjoy the thought if anything.

"Are you sure?" he asked me, and I nodded my head. "I worry about you Barry, so if there is anything I can do to help make you feel comfortable, I will. And I'm sure the others will agree that it's for the best as well. Well, Julian might not, but I'm not too worried about him."

Barry nodded slowly as he grabbed his jacket and put it on over his torn open shirt. "I'll...see you tomorrow then?" he asked, even though he did know the answer to that. and I nodded with a smile and a giggle at his forgetfulness. "Yes, of course."

He smiled a bit and kissed me on the check, which I responded to in kind at the same time, before beginning to leave for the night after we both said "goodnight" to each other....little did I know just how much things had changed, not just to us personally, but to the timeline itself....and little did I know at the time just how much Barry was hurting.....but I had a feeling that I soon would do.....

Author's Side-Note: This is an AU and will be mostly about Snowbarry and Flashfrost. I found myself having an adrenaline rush-like feeling when I was doing this from the moment Barry awoke onward to be honest, and I'm worried that it's not as good as I hoped it would be.

This will, however, be a multiple part story, but I can't promise when I will be able to update each chapter or the speed in which I can update them, so I ask you to please be patient for me when I do this. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this story's opening chapter, and I hope you all are having an amazing day!