Dedicated to AgentofDreams989 and JoshuaSmith943 for all of their amazing support of my work!

The crash of broken glass echoed throughout the West-Allen’s loft as Barry fell backwards into a coffee table, sending all of its sentimental decorations crashing to the floor, Barry having to steady himself against its round-topped surface to keep himself from following them downwards.   

Weak sparks of orange lightning flickered all around him as he shook his head vigorously, a steady stream of sweat rolling down his forehead and staining his blue shirt.

A piercing ringing noise was the only sound that filled his head, so loud and ear-splitting that he was beginning to get light headed, the familiar sights of his home starting to fade in and out of view as his vision struggled to return to normal.

Of course, it didn’t help that he’d been trying to force his way out of Bloodwork’s mind prison for longer than he could remember, for what had felt like months to him at this point. 

“  I have to get out of here! I have to stop Rosso! Save my friends! Save Iris! I can’t let him keep me in here!” Barry thought frantically, before willing himself back onto his feet, blasting out of the loft and straight back into the looming red storm outside, running as fast as his feet would carry him, pushing himself harder and harder, faster and faster, only to be forced back to his comfy apartment a few seconds later.

As he was thrown back through the open dark wood door, stumbling once more for the thousandth time into his living room, Barry felt the muscles in his legs start to give out, every ounce of his being begging him to stop and take a rest.

I’ll never stop running.

As he prepared to push back outside again, to brave the heavy red storm once more, his body and mind aching from all of the immense pressure that had been put on him in the last few hours, a voice suddenly pierced through the deafening ringing in his head.

“ You’re still at it I see?” came a disembodied voice, with a mixture of displeasure and impressedness carrying in its tone.

   Rosso.

“ What do you want Rosso?” Barry panted, having to place his hand on the tan couch besides him to steady himself.

“ I’m just here to check on your progress Barry. And, well, I am surprised that you’ve kept going.”  came Rosso’s voice.

“ You do remember the part where I told you that it was impossible to escape this place, right?”

“ And do you remember what I said back? I know that I can’t beat you… but I don’t have to. I know that Iris’ going to take you down. I just need to hold out until she finds me.” Barry shot back, a bit of air returning to his lungs as he glanced around his home, as if he would actually be able to see the villain.

Or somehow, her.

“ And whatever you’re going to tell me doesn’t matter, Rosso. You’re not going to get me to give up.” Barry wheezed, wiping some of the sweat from his brow.

Just being there, fighting off Bloodwork’s control, was more than enough to twist a person's mind. Trying to fight back against it? It was enough to break one.  

“ We’ll see Barry.” Rosso’s voice echoed, a clear grin on his face, as something abruptly fell onto the couch beside the hero, Barry cautiously glancing down at it before reaching down to pick it up.

“ How many years have you been The Flash Barry? Hmm? How many lives have you saved in your time as him? Hundreds? Thousands? A whole multiverse’s worth of them?” Rosso questioned, as Barry looked over the book in his hands, its worn, dark brown exterior covered with one or two small fabric patches to keep its binding together, a kind of care put into it that helped show how special it was to someone. Or some people.

Our family scrapbook.

“ Always running. Always racing to be the hero and stop the next Crisis. Yet, for every life that you save, every bad guy you beat, every impossible odd that you manage to outrun, every time that you manage to look your destiny in its eyes and tell it no! …You never seem to be able to do the same for those closest to you.”

Without warning, and without any control over his own body, in an almost hypnotic like state, Barry sat down on the couch next to him, flipping open the sentimental book and revealing its first page. 

The caption of which read “ Your Greatest Failures Always Come in the Form of Those You’ve Lost.”

“ No, no. Stop. Stop!” Barry mumbled, shaking his head to try and will himself away from what 
was in front of him, but failing to find the strength to do so.

“ Henry, Nora, H.R., your Baby Girl, Barry Allen of Earth Ninety, Oliver Queen. Every single one of them is dead. Every time they were killed, right in front of you, and you were helpless to stop it.

You, The legendary Flash, could do nothing more but watch as those closest to you burned for you. Because of what you choose to be.” Rosso spat, the pages in front of Barry full of the pictures of the loved ones he’d lost, and the pain he’d felt of losing them every day since they’d left him.

“ Every time, they died because you failed as a hero. Even the times that someone was saved, like Iris, it wasn’t by you! It was by someone else who was willing to be such a fool as to give their own life. And even then, it didn’t mean much. Even in Crisis, you even let two people die so that you could live. Not a choice that I can say I wouldn’t have made myself.”

“ No, no! It wasn’t like that! I…I should’ve been the one to die in Crisis! Not Barry, not Oliver! They should be here right now, all of them should, not me!” Barry cried, feeling the pain wash over his chest as he looked down at the page in front of him, which wore the faces of his mother, father, daughter, and best friend.

“ Well the fact is Barry, they’re not. And neither will anyone else you’ve lost in your long journey.” Rosso stated, tears quickly welling up in Barry’s eyes.

They should be, they should. I’d give anything to get them back.

“ And sadly, it's only a matter of time before more faces join this page with the dangerous life you live.” 

“ Cisco, Caitlin.” the villain continued, as his two closest friends smiling photos filled the page next to his other friends.

“ Or how about a wife to complete the family section?” Rosso stated, as Iris’ smiling face appeared right next to both of the Noras and Henry.

“ Stop, please.” Barry begged, his lip quivering from the devastation that he was having to relieve again, each loss still as searing with pain as the day he’d lost them.

“ I’m sorry Barry, but that’s not my call to make. I’ve given you a way out. A way to stop anyone else, any other person on this planet from dying, but you’ve chosen to reject it.” Rosso sighed, with a fake disappointment.

“ What is it? I’ll do anything, anything to prevent this!” Barry pleaded, desperately looking around for his new friend, his heart beating loudly against his chest.

I can’t let this happen! I can’t lose anyone else!

“ All you have to do is accept my gift.” Rosso said, his voice gentle and kind as he appeared in front of Barry, holding his hand out for the hero to take, a liquid black substance flowing between his fingers.

“ Take my powers, and you’ll never have to lose someone you love again.” he smiled softly, his face portraying one of a friend’s.

Barry slowly reached his hand out to touch Rosso’s, his body moving in an almost trance like state as he did. 

It felt so right to do, Rosso was his friend, he’d never go back on his word. 

By joining him, he’d be saving every one of his friends and family. He’d never have to lose anyone again. To go through that pain again.

   Why shouldn’t I take it? Isn’t it time that I get to do something for me? To have something for myself? Especially when all it is is keeping everyone I love safe? Is that so bad?! Actually helping the people I care about for once!?

Right as Barry’s hand was about to grasp Rosso’s though, it froze, mere inches away from becoming immortal, his arm shaking vigorously as he slowly pulled it back from the force of what felt like a giant magnet, a single thought managing to pierce the darkness inside his mind, with the soothing voice of the person he trusted more than anyone. That he loved more than anything else in the world.

“ Don’t do it Barry!”

It wasn’t enough of a feeling for him to put into words, or for his mind to even make out. 

In every sense of the word he knew that he should’ve taken Rosso’s hand, he should’ve become The Dark Flash again and saved everyone’s lives. Never let anything hurt them or him again. 

But somehow, the voice of his wife seemed to anchor him from doing so, as if trying to warn him of the mistake he was about to make.

Is it really a mistake though? Yes… it is! Right?!

Barry sat back down wordlessly as he continued to stare at the immortality that lay in Rosso’s outstretched hand, feeling like he was being split in two and there was just a shell known as Barry Allen left behind.

“ Why aren’t you taking my gift Barry?” Rosso questioned, impatience quickly rising in his voice.

“ I can’t.” Barry croaked, both of his hands clasped around his mouth as he tapped his foot incessantly, his eyes still glued to Rosso’s blood. 

“ Why not!” Rosso snapped, letting his true nature slip through once more for a brief second.

“ I DON’T KNOW!!!” Barry cried back painfully, his raw scream ripping through his lungs, echoing throughout the space of the loft that seemed barely visible to him now, stray streams of sweat dripping down the sides of his face as they joined his tears.

I really don’t know anymore.

Rosso’s demeanor slowly changed back to its deceitful kind counterpart, the understanding half-smile he wore on his face betraying the darkness within his intentions.

“ It seems like you need a little more time to decide.” Rosso said, understandingly, as he gave Barry a light pat on the shoulder.

“ So I’ll just leave this here for now, and let you decide when you’re ready.” he stated softly, as he gently made a swirl motion with his hand, creating a book-sized dish before him, the glimmering black shine of Roso’s ichor filling the entirety of its contents and exterior, placing it gently on the coffee table in front of them.

“ Really?” Barry asked appreciatively, looking up wide eyed at his friend.

“ Of course.” Rosso smiled back, before taking a few steps over to where he’d appeared only a few seconds ago.  

He seems like a great guy. Why can’t I help him save the world?

“ But you might want to decide before that gets here.” Rosso noted, as he gestured to the looming red storm in the distance, much closer than Barry thought he may’ve remembered it being. 

A sharp flash and crackle of lightning illuminated the apartment, Rosso’ form having disappeared right after, leaving Barry alone with his thoughts once more.

More than anything, he wanted to just reach out and take the powers before him, to end all of the tortuous suffering he was feeling, his mind breaking further and further with each moment that he chose to resist. To free himself of all of the burdens that he had always felt he had been forced to carry his whole life, to prevent himself from ever having to feel that again.

Yet one voice seemed to still break through all that noise, and was strong enough to keep him anchored down in place; to keep him from succumbing to the dark.

Barry…

    I… I… I’m still running Iris. For you.