Mirai

-----

I felt like breaking down. Why couldn't there be more paintings? There were still a few days of my life the paintings hadn't recapped! I didn't want to move further. What if I would be trapped in what looked like endless darkness?

But I had to keep going. I had to find out the truth. And I had to make it out of there.

I took a deep breath and tried to calm down my heart, without any success. Then I picked the road to the left and walked in.

The light that had been in the last corridor, the light that should have illuminated my way through that dark corridor, at least in the beginning, all disappeared. I looked back and saw, that just like the entrance had been gone, the corridor was gone. Behind me was as much darkness as there was in front of me.

I closed my eyes and started walking. It was a silly thing. But the darkness didn't feel as bad with my eyes closed. Or then I could at least pretend that the darkness was caused by my shut eyes.

I had no idea for how long I had walked when I opened them again. It was still all dark around me. Abandoning the silly comfort my shut eyes gave me, I continued with them open.

I walked and I walked. But nothing changed. My eyes should have gotten used to the darkness, but they didn't. It really was an unnatural type of darkness.

A long while later and I still couldn't see a thing and I was slowly going insane. Any light, just any. Or not even light. Any movement that wasn't my own. Or any sound that wasn't my drumming heart or shaky breaths. I tried singing to myself, but I gave that up instantly. My voice was as shaky as my breathing and it only served as a reminder of the situation I was in.

Some more time later and my legs felt like jelly. Had I picked the wrong path? Should I have gone to the right? Surely if I was on the correct path something should have happened by now. But it hadn't.

Was this maybe just a representation of what was to come? Would I fail at finding the woman before the countdown finished? Was all of this meant to tell me that my death was inevitable?

No! I couldn't let myself think like that. I had to persist.

I stopped for a bit. Took a deep breath, counted to ten, and then slowly exhaled. With that new determination, I walked for quite some more time before the next thought hit me.

How long had I been walking? Just going past the paintings had taken quite some time. Shouldn't I have been thirsty or hungry or tired at least? But I felt none of that. I only felt the coldness grow within me. It was a coldness that made me wonder how my heart was able to still beat so fast.

I had to force myself forward. One more step, two more, three more. I kept counting them and when I reached two hundred and forty-seven, I broke.

My whole body shook and I could not stand the darkness anymore. I kneeled down on the ground, hugged myself in order to find some warmth, wished I still had the rug sack to have something that wasn't me for comfort. My tears flowed freely, but they felt like biting ice against my skin.

I wanted to go home. I wanted to wake up and for it to be my eighteenth birthday again. For it all to have been a dream. I was too weak for all of this. It was like everyone had always said. I was weak and useless. I had never managed anything on my own. Richmond, Redmond, and Mom had always helped me with everything. Even the fact that I had made it to the Maze had been through the help of others.

If Elijah hadn't found me.

If Nox hadn't told me about the sphinx.

If the sphinx hadn't told me about the Maze.

If Nox hadn't scared the coven away.

I hadn't even found the Maze in the mountain on my own. Who knew for how long I would have searched had the cougar not shown me the way?

But here I was, completely on my own for the first time, and I was completely useless. I would never find the woman. Never know who she was. Never stop the countdown. I would be trapped in this maze until I faded away. Both me and the woman would perish.

I shook my head and dried away my tears. It wasn't only my life that was at stake. It was the woman's also, and she didn't deserve to die simply because I was pathetic. I had to continue, I couldn't give up. Not for my sake, but for hers.

I got up again. My legs shook beneath me and I had to hold on to the wall to not fall over. I dried away the last few tears that had escaped and then I pressed on. One step at the time, I pressed on.

I counted my steps again, but this time I only reached thirty before I stopped.

I squinted my eyes and looked ahead. It was faint, very faint, but definitely there.

Light.

I began to run. For each step, the light grew, and I ran faster and faster. I would make it! I had finally reached the end. The darkness wouldn't swallow me. I wouldn't be one of those who got lost in the Maze. I would be among those few who made it out.

The light covered the whole path. It was like a wall of light that blocked the way and I paused as I reached it.

What if something worse awaited me on the other side? What if it wasn't the way out after all?

But I gritted my teeth and walked forward. Whatever came next, it couldn't be worse than the darkness, and no matter what, it would be a step closer to the woman.