Lamech

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I let my canine teeth come forth and bit down on her neck. I lapped up her blood that came out. Marveled in how it could taste so good. I sucked on the wound I had created, but only for a moment or two before I became aware that it was all wrong.

The pleasure that she had felt all the times before, even that first time, had been so intense that I had not even considered that anything else was possible and I had been far too lost in my own desperate emotions to stop and think about what she wanted. But the pleasure that I was used to have come from her, didn't. Instead she was stiff though her body shook and she let out a whimper of pain.

I let go of her and flew back to the other side of the room. All thoughts that had consumed me a second ago gone.

She stood still. Silent tears rolled from her eyes and they were filled with pain and fear. She moved her arms to hug herself in comfort, or to hold herself together. Probably both.

Dread. Guilt. Self-hatred. That was all I could feel. I was disgusted by my own behavior and horrified that I had done it to Crimson. That I had drunk her blood without her consent. That I had hurt her in the worst way I could

"Crimson, I..." I started to say, took a step forward, wanted to comfort her.

"No! Stay away from me!" she said in a shaky voice and her breathing had become shallow and quick.

I stopped. "Crimson, I'm sorry. I... I didn't... I wouldn't... Fuck, I didn't mean to hurt you."

I knew those words wouldn't make a difference. No words could. Nothing could make what I had done alright and though I asked for forgiveness, I knew I didn't deserve it.

"Just... Just leave me alone! I never want to see you again!" she yelled at me and seemed to have found a certain determination.

"Crimson, please, I..."

"Stop!" she shouted and I could see what was coming. From how her lips quivered and body trembled. From the fear and pain and resolve in her eyes. From how she hugged herself, from how she closed me off. I knew what words was going to come as she shut her eyes and I had no intention of stopping it. It was the least that I deserved, though far from punishment enough.

She kept her eyes closed as if unable to look at me as she said it.

"I, Crimson Evermore, reject you, Lamech, as my mate."

Pain rippled through my body like nothing I had ever experienced. It tore at my heart, made it hard to breath, to stand. And I could see it, see the bond we shared in a way I hadn't ever imagined possible. There was a thread between us, connecting us to one another, but it wasn't whole. It had been cut in the middle and the two ends seemed to try to connect, but were unable to.

I looked at Crimson and saw how she had taken hold of a table to help herself stand. She gasped and shook even worse than before.

The thoughts of my own pain disappeared and I hurried to her side, placed an arm around her waist to help her stand.

"Let me..." I started to say, but she pushed me away and then jumped over the bed to put it in-between us again. As she did, she knocked over the bowl with the water and towel I had used to clean my face with. Some of its content hit the bed, made the white linen go red, while the rest hit the floor to create a puddle of liquid blood.

"Don't touch me!" she yelled and shrunk into the corner by her side. She hugged herself again and seemed to try to make herself vanish into the wall. All of her emanated pain and hurt and I knew that there was only one thing I could do for her anymore.

And it was what I had wanted, wasn't it? The only way to make sure she was safe.

I took a deep breath.

"I, Lamech Carnell, accept your, Crimson's, rejection."

The thread vanished and I felt a new wave of pain. This one so strong that I had to take hold of the table Crimson had held to not collapse. I felt shattered, broken into a million pieces and I knew that there was no way to mend.

I looked up at Crimson and saw that she had curled in on herself. Tears fell from her tightly shut eyes, sobs and gasps came one after another, her hand clutched her chest over her heart.

I wanted to walk over and hold her until her pain subsided, until both of our pains disappeared. I really didn't care about the rejection, that didn't change how I felt about her in the slightest.

Evermore. Her last name was Evermore and it fitted perfectly. She was my evermore.

But I couldn't walk over to her because that was the last thing she wanted. So I straightened myself and prepared to leave. I ignored the pain that still made it hard to do anything.

"I love you, Crimson, and I always will," I told her. She flinched as I spoke and scrunched up her face even more. "If you ever need help, whatever help it is, you can always come to me and I'll help you. But you don't have to worry. You won't see me ever again unless you want to."

And with that I left the room. Left her. Left half of my soul.

As soon as I was out of the room, I was surrounded by vampires. By the looks of it, several of them had been outside the room, waiting to hear that she had awoken. If the situation had been any different, I'd probably felt elevated by that they cared so deeply for her. But as it was, the sight was the last thing I wanted to see.

Alair was next to me in a flash and grabbed hold of me, supporting me.

"What happened? Is she alright?" he asked with wide and terror-stricken eyes. Then he turned to the others. "Someone, get the doctor!"

"No!" I said and mustered up all the power I could into that one word. The sound isolation had to be very well, because none of them seemed to have heard any of what had happened. I knew that they would know shortly and it would have spread to the whole clan before the day was over. But in that moment, I found a small comfort in not having to deal with the compassion that would come when they knew. Compassion I didn't deserve.

"Lamech, what..." Alair started.

"Pack up and get going back. I have to talk with the Alpha, but everyone should be gone by the time I'm done. And no one is to disturb Crimson," I told them all, once again fighting to keep as much power as possible in my voice. Then I pulled myself free from Alair's support and walked out of the house. There was a bit of forest right by it, and I ran into it. Ran for a few minutes before coming to a halt.

I leaned against a tree. The pain of the broken bond still riddled my body. Made it hard to breath, to stand, to think.

"How are you feeling?" I heard Alair's voice behind me. I hadn't even noticed him following me.

"I'm fine," I mumbled.

"I'll believe that the day night's darkness is not replaced by day's light," he replied in a calm but certain voice.

I didn't answer, but kept my eyes shut and focused on breathing.

"Did she reject you," he asked, but it sounded more like a statement.

Still, I didn't answer.

"At least Starlight won't harm her this way," he said and it was the same feeble positive thing that I had tried to hold onto, but hearing it out loud it sounded like an empty promise.

"Take some time to gather yourself. I'll oversee people leaving," he said after a long silence and then left me be.

I only stayed there for a minute before following. It felt torturous to be alone, though I also didn't want to be among people. But doing things still seemed like the best option.

When I reached the edge of the forest, I saw Alair again and Everett. I kept to the shadows of the trees, knowing that Everett would ask me about Crimson if he saw me.

"What happened? Is she okay? The Luna went in to talk to her, but she hasn't come out," Everett said.

"Crimson's fine," Alair reassured him. "At least physically fine."

"What do you mean?" Everett asked. He looked much paler than normal and his eyes showed his worry.

Alair sighed deeply. "Crimson rejected him and Lamech accepted."

"No!" Everett exclaimed and though it didn't look possible, his face went even paler. "Why? Why would she? Why would he? I have to talk to her!"

Alair grabbed hold of Everett's arm as he turned to leave.

"You will not," Alair said in a calm and steady voice, but I was vaguely surprised about that he sounded authoritative. It was not something I had ever considered Alair to be.

"Let go of me! I have to!" Everett insisted and pulled, but Alair didn't relent.

"No!" he said instead with power that could match mine. "You will not talk or disturb her. You will not try to change what happened. But you will have faith in that what is meant to be, will be."

There was a second of stillness before Everett broke down in a way I hadn't seen him do since his first years of being newly turned. He cried and leaned on Alair for support, and Alair in turn hugged him in comfort.

"It's my fault," Everett said through his tears. "All my fault. Please let me try to make it right."

"It is not your fault and I'm forbidding you from blaming yourself any longer," Alair answered. "Haven't you made yourself suffer enough already?"

I closed my eyes and leaned against a tree. At that point I was annoyed at Everett for blaming himself of anything. He was not at fault, but all the fault laid in me. His feelings of guilt almost seemed comically ridiculous to me at that moment. Although he had poured the gasoline by bringing her along, I was the one that had lit the match and turned it all to ashes.