Zoe

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Dinner was calm and happy. We talked, we laughed and managed for once to keep completely clear of any topic that might make the conversation spiral down to something heavy.

When we got back to my hotel, Felix asked if he could come up with me for a moment, which I was more than happy to let him. I didn't want to part from him. I never wanted to be apart from him.

So we sat in the armchairs and talked some more. Felix told me about some of the stupid adventures he and Alex had had as children. I told him about a few of the places I'd been, editing out the why I had gone there. Finally, we grew quiet.

"I can't believe it really has been such a short time," Felix said. "It hasn't even been two weeks since we first met. But it feels like I've always known you. I felt like that from the start, really."

"I know what you mean," I said, because I did. Better than he could imagine. "I feel it too."

For a human relationship, we definitely progressed extremely fast. For two mates, we progressed very slowly, however. Most magical creatures would have finished the mating process by now. Well, we couldn't do that since we couldn't touch, but we weren't even close to that even if that wasn't a problem, because of all the things I tried so hard to not thinking about.

It looked like he wanted to say something more, but then he gently shook his head.

"After you've cooked and we've eaten tomorrow, I thought I could show you my favorite movie. How does that sound?" he said instead of whatever he had really been thinking about saying.

"That sounds great," I answered before deciding that I had to ease him into the truth about me and I had reached the point of it feeling impossible to not begin explaining. "Felix. Even though you feel like you've always known me, there are still a lot of things you don't know. And... I'm not ready to tell. I will be. Soon. I promise. I just want to sort some things out first."

"You don't have to worry so much," he said and took my hand. "Tell me when you're ready. I'll be here no matter what."

If only that was true. If the Goddess would grant me one wish, that would be my wish.

"You don't even know what it is. How can you say that you'll be here no matter what?"

"Because I can't imagine anything that you could say that would change my feelings for you." He stroked a few strands of loose hair to behind my ear. "I really have never felt like this for anyone else. And well, Alex is right with not really understanding how this all happened so fast. But I guess that when you know, you know, and I know that my life would be empty and meaningless without you in it."

I wanted to throw my arms around his neck and press my lips to his. I wanted us to get as close as two people could be. I wanted to complete the mating so the whole world would know we belonged together.

But as much as his words touched my heart, they also scared me.

"I'm not as good as you think I am," I told him.

"Zoe," he said and looked at me sternly mixed with love. "You worry so much about the safety of me and the people around you that frankly, it sometimes gets annoying. You wouldn't do that if you weren't good. Your heart is good. And no matter what you want to tell me, that will still be the truth. You might have made mistakes, we all make mistakes. But that won't make you any less good."

If only it was that easy, I thought, but did not say. It felt so nice to hear those words. To know that he thought about me as such. He would maybe change his opinion soon and I had now started preparing him for it. I wouldn't push for it more. Not tonight.

He thought I was good, and that filled me with a warmth that I wanted to bathe in forever.

Felix stayed the night again. Since we weren't both as exhausted as we had been before, we managed to make the sleeping arrangements slightly better. We took the top mattress off the bed. It made sleeping on the bed slightly worse, but sleeping on a mattress on the floor was much better than the two armchairs. Felix, of course, tried to stop me from doing it, but I won. He won the battle of who would sleep where, however, so I was again in the bed.

When I woke up, Felix was gone. I panicked for a moment before I saw the note on the mattress.

Gone to buy breakfast. Will be back soon.

It felt so normal. Just like I wanted it to feel for now, before everything would change. And why not try to be even more normal?

I couldn't remember the last time I had a shower. I usually washed myself and my clothes with cleaning spells. I actually had no idea how my body looked underneath the clothes.

The bathroom was very white, like most hotel bathrooms. I locked the door and took a deep breath before peeling off all the layers I wore. The gloves, my shoes, the dress, stockings, corset, and panties. There wasn't a full-length mirror in the bathroom, but the one that was over the sink showed most of my upper body.

I was skinny, I concluded as I first felt my collarbone and then down to my ribs. My skin was also so pale that it almost looked translucent. It made me look sick, and it definitely made me feel sick.

My clothes were magically made to fit me perfectly and since it covered me so, I had never noticed. Had I always been this skinny? Or had I dropped a lot in weight at some point? That had to be the case because I couldn't remember seeing my ribs like this. But when would that have been?

My desire to shower was completely gone. I muttered a quick cleaning spell before making my clothes go back into position on their own. All the while, I tried to avoid looking into the mirror.

The door to the hotel room opened, and Felix's voice sounded. I shook my head to expel the negative thoughts. I just had to eat more and if I got rid of the curse, I could spend more time outside in less clothes and gain some more color on my skin.

I walked out of the bathroom and Felix had already placed the food he bought on the small coffee table.

"I hope there's something you like," he smiled at me.

I looked at the food and that dispelled the last of my negative thoughts, as well as made me realize when I had probably lost weight. When I had stopped cooking my favorite food.

It wasn't what might be considered normal breakfast food. Or rather, it wasn't everyday type of breakfast food. There were strawberries, blueberry cupcakes, honeydew, banana bread, grapes, fresh cheese, dark chocolate, oats biscuits. It all made me think of my different favorite foods that I had mentioned the day before.

"It's perfect," I said and meant it completely.

We had some everyday small talk while we ate. The normal of how did you sleep type of things. If all days were like that, I would be happy and content.

The breakfast was amazing, and it made me really excited about cooking later.

"Come on! Don't bother cleaning up," I said and almost rushed to the door as soon as we had finished eating.

"But we should..." His eyes went to the mattress and I could tell what he was thinking.

"I'll put a don't disturb sign on the door and tidy up in here later. I want to get to the market."

I took hold of his hand and got him out the door before he could protest. I hung the sign on the door, because it really would have been unfair to the hotel's cleaner to have to deal with everything that we left behind. And then I shot through the corridors with Felix following behind in a tight grip.

"You're energetic," he laughed.

"I'm just feeling inspired. All thanks to you!"

I looked quickly behind and caught a glimpse of his happy, slightly blushing face.

"Today will be a good day!" I said, and I really felt that. It had been so long since I felt so happy and content and positive. And so normal. I wanted to run and play and laugh. I smiled at the world and the world smiled back at me. All darkness forgotten.

I truly did think that it would be a good day.