This is a Shatterproof by tala natsume review.

The first three parts of this story that we are going to review are 01|Started Off Ruthless, 02|Background Check, 03| Eva; The Downfall of Men

I appreciate the creativity and effort to include photos throughout the story; although I think it is a lot of work when the writing alone should be enough to perfectly describe the setting, etc. in a novel. We should also give room to our readers to customize the descriptions to their liking/based on how they imagined it. Moreover, I read this story in offline mode, kaya hindi kita 'yong mga pictures which, if other readers do this too, wasted ‘yong effort sa pag-upload ng pictures.

But again, I appreciate this effort and creativity, although I don't find it necessary.
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01| STARTED OFF RUTHLESS

• I love the narration-style. Smooth basahin. Mukhang wordy kung titingnan pero kapag binabasa mo na, lahat ng nakatipa sa narration ay necessary. Hindi masyadong pinabulaklak at tuloy-tuloy ang flow.

• Kahit pulido ang pagkakasulat, may mapapansin pa ring ilang errors sa unang tatlong chapters (grammatical/typographical).

( In the screenshot above, an em-dash is not necessary. Separate sentences na ang 'One mistake...' at 'Do you understand?')

(In the screenshot above, 'wive', should be 'wives'.)

Gayunpaman, makikitang mula rito hanggang sa susunod na dalawang chapters na kahit papaano ay dumaan sa proofreading bago pinost!

• Maayos mag-describe ng setting ang author. Crisp. Clear. Understandable. Bukod doon, dalang-dala 'yong mood ng eksena.

Pakiramdam ko, nasa istorya ako mismo habang nagbabasa. I felt the chills when Shin Takano was introduced. Ang lakas ng dating niya kahit dark ang aura. Inunti-unti, hindi siya basta-basta ni-reveal, kaya nagbuild up ‘yong anticipation ko na magpatuloy sa pagbasa para lang makilala siya.

Here’s a glimpse of how Shin Takano was introduced:

• Nagustuhan ko rin ang pagiging direct to the point ang kwento.
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02 | BACKGROUND CHECK

• Sa kabanatang ito, medyo nag-slow down ang pacing ng kwento. The slow-down, impressively, did not make the chapter dragging.

Naka-focus pa rin ang kabanatang ito sa normal na activity ng The Titans tulad ng naunang chapter. This time, kotse na ang pisikal na binubugbog nila, hindi tao. Nagfocus din ang kabanatang ito sa pagna-narrate ng backstory ni Shin Takano.

No need to worry if the pacing slowed down in here. Upon reading chapter three, you’ll realize that this slowdown is important. It is gaining momentum for the scenes in chapter three. Impressive na maalam din sa ganito ang author, aware man siya o hindi.

• Compelling ang pagkakalahad sa backstory ni Shin Takano. To be honest, very common/cliché na ang backstory niya. SPOILER ALERT: (broken family, kulang sa atensyon ng magulang)

Pero ang maganda rito closely knit lahat ng pangyayari sa backstory. Konektado lahat. May domino effect kaya hindi masasabi na out of the blue ang kinahinatnan nila ni Reiji (ang ama ni Shin) at ang naging response ni Shin sa mga nangyari noon sa kanyang buhay na dahilan kaya naging ganitong klase siya ng tao sa kasalukuyan. Good job dito.

• Impressive din na malakas ang instinct ng author. May mga author na dahil carried away sa pagsusulat, nawawalan ng awareness na i-guide si reader sa mga babasahin niya. Si author, nakakaalala mag-explain ng kaunti sa reader kung ano ang ibig sabihin ng mga ginamit niyang terms.

This shows that the author is aware of her audience. Kilala niya ang readers niya. Dama niya kung ano ang alam at hindi alam ng reader niya kaya swabeng nailalagay at alam na alam niya kung anong mga info ang ilalagay o ipapaliwanag. Good job on this one too.

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03 | EVA; THE DOWNFALL OF MEN

• Medyo expected ko na ang pagkikita ng male lead at female lead dito dahil sa title ng chapter.
 
• Masasabi kong napag-aralan ng mabuti ng author ang tradisyonal proseso ng pagsusulat ng nobela. Particularly pocketbooks. Kadalasan kasi sa mga seminars/writing workshops at aklat na tumatalakay kung paano magsulat ng nobela, laging suhestiyon na sa ikatlong kabanata ideal na mag-meet ang magka-love interest.

Ang unang dalawang chapter ay nakalaan sa pag-introduce sa buhay ng mga lead character bago nila na-meet ang love interest nila (Big reveal: formula ito ng mga romance novels, especially pocketbook types).

Bukod dito, swak ang timing ng author na ipasok sa eksena ang love interest ng male lead sa chapter na ito. Dahil kapag nakafocus na naman ito sa activity ng The Titans (tulad ng naunang dalawang chapter), magiging dragging na ang kwento, magmumukhang nagpapaligoy-ligoy at may tendency maging boring.

• Shin and Eva have chemistry. Their first meeting is remarkable, which is important. Dapat memorable sa readers kung paano unang nagmeet ang mag love interest na characters!

I admire their body language. The description on how they check out on each other:

• I also like that in this chapter, mabilis na na-pinpoint kung bakit nagustuhan ni Shin si Eva; at convincing ‘yong reasons kung bakit dahil tumutugma ang mga ito sa characterization ni Shin.

First, he only wanted sex from women.

Upon first glance at Eva, she oozed of sexiness which matches his preferences. It can be seen from "the male gaze" part of the chapter:

Second, Shin was characterized as this guy who does things the rough and hard way. Tough exterior. And Eva seemed to reflect how Shin deals with things/life. Eva, like Shin, is cool and composed, but doesn’t have second-thoughts about dealing with things the rough way when necessary. This makes his attraction and interest toward her unquestionable:

Also, thanks to the descriptive narration which really helped a lot!

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SUMMARY:

Overall, Shatterproof, is well-written, enjoyable and reader-friendly .

- Well-executed ang standard format ng first three chapters ng romance novels.

- The author always manages to briefly explain unfamiliar terms throughout the story for the readers to easily grasp on what they mean.

- Although not that polished, the novel is easier to read due to the proofreading done.

- The author’s story and characters, so far, are consistent.

- The author manages to establish chemistry between characters and can set a mood in each important scene.

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CONCLUSION:

I hope we all learned the following from this review:

- The characters’ body language are important, especially when writing in third person POV. In third person POV, very powerful and convincing ang body language. Huwag tayo tamarin pagdating sa body language. Express as much as necessary for the story. Napapansin ko rin sa ibang authors na mas nakafocus sila sa dialogues (catchy punchlines, monologues, train of thought, pick-up lines) kaysa sa body language.

- Even if we have the freedom to experiment, applying existing standards/formats in novel writing still works with effective execution (and can still be improvised).

- Know your audience. Show concern with your readers by making sure they understand the unfamiliar terminologies.

- Allow your readers to use their imagination.

- Effort is appreciated but we have the option to work smart, not hard. Only put what is necessary in the story.  Do not simply depend on the visuals, always aim to learn more ways to write descriptions of characters and/or settings in your novel.

May iba kasi na since pwede maglagay ng picture sa Watty, tinatamad na magsulat ng descriptions sa story nila. The author doesn't have a problem with descriptions though. Sinasabi ko lang ito bilang isang gentle reminder. As you can see on the first three chapters, maayos namang naisulat ng author ang mga descriptions at hindi siya dumepende sa in-upload niyang visuals.

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LEARN FROM THE AUTHOR:

- Proofreading, complying to some standards/formats may be a tedious task, but it pays off. It makes your work look more neat and professional. A little effort goes a long way!

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Had some realizations about writing that is not mentioned in my list? Have more questions?

Comment here!

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