I only really catch my breath again when the train kicks everyone off.

The thing about panic attacks is that most of the time you know it's irrational fear. An impending sense of doom while you're making coffee does not necessarily constitute the end of the world, it just feels that way. There's comfort in that, you can remind yourself that your body is just having a freak out and it will be over soon.

It's all in your head, right?

Unfortunately the three panic attacks in a row I'm dealing with are completely justified, and that makes it so much worse. It feels like a vial of Greek Fire has exploded in my chest and stomach, and I start to get paranoid.

There's a lady with a grocery cart to my left. Could she be a monster waiting to take me off guard? At this point I'm a hassle-free meal. I'm so vulnerable and weak she could take me out easily.

"Bwah bwah bwahbwahbwah last stop."

The basically useless PA system catches my attention as we pull into an underground section of the airport. Most people get up, though some stay to ride again. I'm not willing to do that. In fact I might not ever ride a train again with how anxious that experience just made me. Train anxiety... Trainxiety.

Also, I love a good pun.

The train tunnel is so massive it makes me feel small, but I bustle into the airport before I can think about what lies in there.

I've never so much as driven past an airport, and I have no idea what I'm doing so I follow the crowd into another train. That train brings us to an elevator, which brings us to an escalator after so many turns I'm indefinitely lost now, which brings us to a borderline cruel staircase. The elevator here is full, I have to walk up what's at least 70 stairs with no energy and severe anxiety.

Fun. I'm having so much fun on this quest I can hardly stand it.

When I get to the top I'm almost impressed with the world's most confusing yet straightforward layout. There's probably close to fifteen different airline names and four times as many kiosks and help desks spread out over what could be an acre of land. On the far side, I can see a line snaking back and forth between black gates and disappearing behind a wall that blocks my field of vision.

"Hello. How can I assist you today?"

I whirl around expecting to come face to face with a hydra or something, but it's just a primly dressed help desk attendant.

"Oh... hi." I glance around, wondering which airline she's for. "I need to buy a ticket."

She smiles and walks me to a much smaller out of the way desk. "And what payment form will we be using today: cash, card, Drachma's or Denarii?"

"I'm sorry?" I blurt. My hand digs into my pocket of its own fruition and pulls out three. "Like these?"

Her hair is cut into a jet black bob that shakes with her movement. On her name tag it says Jadis, an odd but beautiful name. Her smile dims in the very slightest way but I catch it. I'm great at telling when people are disappointed in me. Still, she nods. "Would you like to trade in your currency at this time as well? No sense in having it where you won't be able to use it!"

Her cheerfulness throws me off and I hand all of them over. I'm down to eight, and she hands me what I can only assume are Denarii, and a plane ticket to Fargo, North Dakota.

I've never seen a plane ticket, but I'm pretty sure they don't have a slight shimmer to them. It almost feels translucent in my hand but when I look up to point that out, she's gone. Just desk and all poofed into nothingness.

"Are you okay, son?" An old lady asks with a gentle touch to my arm.

I jump away but point at where Jadis used to be. "Did you see where that lady went?"

She frowns in concern. "No dearie, you've been staring at the plane takeoff schedule for 20 minutes, so I just decided to check on you."

I smile. That's so sweet, I just want to pull her into a hug. "No worries, I'm okay. Thank you for checking though, I hope you have a good day."

Her face lifts into happiness. "Well, thank you! You have a good day too, son."

I nod and head toward the long line in the distance. I feel completely bonkers, did I really hallucinate all of that?

No, I couldn't have. I'm still clutching the Denarii and my plane ticket desperately, and I know she gave them to me, so what was she? Some kind of demi-god? A good monster? Or like... a helpful spirit?

I'm questioning myself in circles until I start to feel nauseous but thankfully the line is moving rather quickly. I know where North Dakota is, but where the heck is Fargo? My dad lived in the Midwest for a while before he met my mom, and truthfully he thought it was beautiful sometimes and that's it. I have no idea why I would want to go there, but I also don't have a choice.

When I see the person in front of me handing in their ticket to be verified, I freeze. There's no way they won't notice the difference when mine is practically phasing between realities!

"Ticket please, young man," The bored attendant demands, almost sounding a little familiar.

I hand it over automatically and wait for shit to hit the fan, but it dings and he motions me to move along. After an embarrassing full body pat down and waiting to have to say that no I can't take off my bracelet because it's literally attached to my person and not having to, I'm standing in front of a MacDaniels just off my gate. I got lucky with my first terminal ticket, so I walk up to the counter shyly. "Can I just have a cheeseburger and a water?"

The girl nods. "That'll be $14.17."

If a monster doesn't get me first, inflation will. I have no idea what Denarii equate to in the real world but I try to hand her one and she frowns before telling me they don't take whatever currency I'm trying to pay with.

Embarrassment, my old friend, settles in a blazing heat in my face. Of course a freaking MacDaniels wouldn't take ancient Rome currency. "Crap, s-sorry."

I decide to ride it out in the bathroom stall since I have an hour and a half. I don't have a phone even though I probably should. Chiron told me it's like a tracking device for monsters. Then again, who would I call?

The chill of loneliness settles in my bones and I sigh heavily. At least if I was on a normal quest I'd have two people with me. I wouldn't even care if they liked me or not, it's just so much better to not be alone. My dad was my best friend, and honestly he still is. If he were here he'd tell me, "Chin up, kiddo. If every pork chop were perfect we wouldn't have hot dogs!"

It used to make me laugh, but now it just makes me feel even more alone and sitting in a bathroom stall isn't helping so I make my way out to wash my hands.

I don't look great. I actually look really terrible, like I'm homeless or something. My braid is messed up and ratty so I unravel it and let it tumble down my shoulders and past my hips. My father's hair was thick and long too, but mine is a richer shade of brown and curly. I sling off my backpack and pull out a brush, humming a love song by Billie Eillish. Supposedly she's been cancelled but I'm never able to keep up with knowing when that happens, or why that unhappens for that matter so I sing it anyways.

"Isn't it lovely?
All alone
Heart made of glass
My mind of stone
Tear me to pieces
Skin and bone
Hello, welcome home."

I almost continue until I catch sight of glowing coming from somewhere. I turn and look around, but find nothing. "Weird." My voice echoes against the porcelain and I gather my things, suddenly feeling...

Watched. I'm being watched.

Upon exiting the bathroom, I find a far weirder thing.

There's a line to the men's bathroom so long I'd have just held it, but I was in there alone and I don't remember seeing any line when I went inside. At least an eighth of them could've gone in, but they seem to be dealing with a different kind of leakage. They're crying, wiping at their faces profusely and clearing their throats to stir up their testosterone again.

"You can go in," I tell the guy in front. "It was just me in there."

He nods, pressing his lips together. "Right. I don't know what came over me."

I watch them file in and furrow my brow. I should definitely get the heck out of here. Thankfully there's a seat left, but the girl from Mackey D's flags me down. "I'm really sorry about earlier—," I start but she shushes me and provides a full two double cheeseburger meal with a water and iced tea.

"Here. It's for you." She smiles at me and hands it over. "It's on the house."

'Don't cry, don't cry, don't cry! Come on man...' I give her a weak smile as my eyes well up anyways. "Thank you. I hope you have a wonderful day."

Upon sitting I practically inhale the entire meal, packaging and tray and all, but try to maintain my dignity by staying clean. Normally I don't eat meat, but anyone who calls MacDaniel's patties meat is a freaking liar and they know it. It's delicious and I don't care, I hadn't even realized how hungry I was until the first bite.

Satisfied and full, I throw my stuff away and pull out my monster encyclopedia to brush up on my knowledge. I've never been good at remembering study material, but I try anyways.

"Crap, I need a pen," I mumble aloud.

My bracelet detaches and slips off to clatter against the ground, but not before it turns into a pen. I glance around as inconspicuous as possible (which isn't much mind you). Did anyone see that, or did the Mist cover my butt?

I decide to not look a gift horse in the mouth and scoop it up to write in the margin section for Drachne.

"Exactly as described, 10x more terrifying. First monster battle, and hopefully the last. The one I fought shapeshifted, and my shield made it smoke. I wonder what it's made of."

As much knowledge as I have of monsters, I know little about weapons. I've just never been much of a fighter, I'd rather hug it out.

The second I get in line to board, my anxiety roars back at full force and I feel like my lunch might want to see me for a second date. But the ticket goes through again and in a blink I'm on the second most crowded contraption I've ever seen.

Lids to overhead bins are slamming shut and people are scurrying in and out of seats to let people in and make room. It's pure chaos.

My seat is in an exit aisle and I only have my backpack so I tuck it on my lap. I can't exactly look at my monster book here, so I turn and look out the window. The bright light makes me sleepy, and before long I'm passed out so hard I don't even wake up for takeoff.