I wish for oblivion.

If I had been unaware of my soulmate, I would follow what eighty percent of the school was currently doing- searching for their lover. But alas, I knew exactly who my other half was- and he had been pieced together 

I had met Jellal two weeks into freshman year. I didn't know him as "Jellal," though. He was more of "my enemy's 'friend's' friend," if you know what I mean. Anyone associated with my enemy was also considered an enemy, as childish as it seems. 

But then Natsu, that freaking idiot, befriended the blue-haired boy.

Eventually, Gajeel followed suit, as did Lucy and Levy...and...I had no choice but to accept him and his friends, Ultear and Meredy. Grudgingly, I began to realize they weren't actually that bad.

Friends, sure. But soulmates? Did I even love him? I guess I would have to consult the wise writings of Makarov Dreyar again.

~ ~ ~

"That's pretty," Lucy comments as she sets down a plate of chocolate chip cookies beside the button I found in the woods. "Where'd you get it from?"

"I found it in the woods near the Great Pine."

She holds a cookie in one hand and cradles the button in the other. The dark lines on the steel surface of the disk glow exceptionally bright.

"It's interesting," says Lucy, flipping it over to me. I catch it easily.

~ ~ ~

"On a scale from one to ten, how productive are you planning on being today?" Jellal asks the second I step foot into the Residence Hall Kitchen. A few other students sit at the large, wooden table in the center of the room. One girl stands at the stove, stirring a pot of pasta.

"I hope for eight," I reply, placing my bag on the table. "But I think we're going to end up at three."

"I can't be that distracting," he says. The words slip out of his mouth and it takes him a moment to reset. "Well...what are we making today, Chef?"

"Strawberry cake," I blurt, eyes shining. Jellal already knows. He nods to the bowl of strawberries and cream sitting on the counter.

"You can bake?"

"Not really," I admit, swiping the red berry from the bowl.

"I do," Jellal says. "Althought the rest of the school might disagree."

Jellal shows me how to combine butter, sugar, and eggs to create a light, fluffy cream. I try to pay attention but my mind keeps wandering to how I should phrase my lingering questions. In the end, I decide to go hard or go home.

"Can I see your heart?"

He nearly drops the carton of milk. "Geez, Erza. When have you ever been so...bold?"

"What's bold about asking to see someone's heart?" I ask, watching as he pours milk into the bowl of freshly mixed batter. "I didn't mean your actual heart, I meant the glow-"

"It's considered an intimate organ," Jellal replies. "It's like you asking to see my pe-"

"Got it," I interrupt, jaw clenched. Now that I thought about it, someone had said something about the heart being private...Ah. Right. The girl from the shop. Yukino. 

"Why would you want to see my heart's glow anyway? Didn't your heart glow a couple month?" 

I try to act casual. "Yeah, but...it's not a...pretty color. Violet seems way prettier."

"Violet is pretty," Jellal agrees. He pauses in his stirring to frown at the bowl of strawberries. "Huh. Look at that. The strawberries are mysteriously disappearing."

I hide my red-stained fingers behind my back. "How odd."

A flicker plays across his lips, but it quickly fades. "What color did your heart glow?"

"Blue," I say randomly. "A....navy blue. It's so navy it looks black."

At this point, I don't know how Jellal chooses to remain in the Kitchen with me, rather than fleeing for his life. I think I've gone crazy.

"Help me pour the batter and I'll show you."

~ ~ ~

The Residence Hall Kitchen is empty aside from a green-haired boy microwaving what smells like noodles. Once the cake is safely in the oven, Jellal and I wash our fingers and I try to think of subtle ways to ask him to show me his heart without removing his shirt. Imagine ifUltear walked in. I'd like to think Ultear's relationship with me is strong enough that she wouldn't have a problem with it, but still...I'm not taking the risk.

Jellal, thankfully, does not take off his shirt. (A/N: Sorry, guys.) He slips his hand down his shirt, and, with some difficulty, peels off his patch. A lovely shade of purple coruscates through the room, and even the green-haired boy blinks with surprise.

"Woah," I murmur. "That's...bright."

"Yeah," he laughs, smiling at the light. "Ultear says I could blind someone with it."

He frowns thoughtfully. "She must be nearby."

"Does Ultear's heart shine that bright?" I whisper. Holding out my hand, I watch as the specks of light dance across my palm.

"I haven't seen it," he admits, shrugging his shoulders. "We've both been so busy this year. Especially since Ultear's going through...family problems."

"Oh."

I store the information away for later.

~ ~ ~

According to chapter ten of Makarov Dreyar's The Firefly Effect, the brighter a heart's glow, the stronger the bond between soulmates. Dreyar calls it "a beautiful display of a human's love and trust for another."

I call it ironic.