Letting go of our slice of freedom was harder than I thought.

We took the scenic route to Caroline's, driving along the coast first before veering inland. Directionally, it made no sense.

But we weren't following anyone's map except our own.

Madie wore a cute floral sundress with a sweater wrapped around her top half. I worried that she would get too cold with the convertible roof down, but she said she liked it that way. So we sped up the highway with the wind whipping through our hair. And I tried to ignore the fact that the hem of Madie's dress kept flying up.

Also ignoring the twinge of pain in my shoulder, I smiled as I reached over to squeeze her uncovered thigh. Madie slipped her fingers beneath mine, slowly tracing a design on my palm with the tip of her finger. "Bren, baby?"

I was trying to keep my eyes on the road, but fuck, she made it difficult. It'd been this way the last time, too. When we'd driven down to LA from Oakland, and Madie had been grinning so freely that my heart threatened to explode. When she had rested her head on the car door, hair blowing in the wind as she admired the ocean. When she'd thrown her hands in the air, and I'd known that taking her away with me was the best decision I would ever make in my life.

It was definitely the best decision I'd ever made in my life.

After a steadying breath, I said, "Yeah?"

"What do you want for Christmas?"

I laughed and shook my head. "Don't you dare get me a present, Madeline."

"Why not?" she asked, clearly pouting just by the way she'd said the two little words.

California's Highway One was a curvy devil, and I kept my eyes trained on the lines of the road despite desperately wanting to see her cute face. "You've given me everything. I don't need anything else."

The view opened up then. The vast sea was before us, and I knew this would probably be the last time we saw it. It wouldn't be long before the road would curve inland.

But as I watched the tangle of waves and shimmer of the far-out midnight ocean, I made a promise to myself. I might be going inland, traveling back to buried, trapped memories, but I was going to be free again soon. I wasn't going to let my asshole of a father keep me away from seeing everything I wanted to see in this goddamn life.

I wanted to see more of the ocean.

With Madie.

Madie's hand slipped from mine, and I glanced over at her. She crossed her arms over her chest.

"Okay," she said, sighing. "But that means you can't get me anything either."

I frowned.

I've never had a girlfriend before. I've hardly even had anyone to buy a present for at all. For the past few years, the only person I ever got a Christmas gift for was Caroline. But this year I had Madie, too. And I wanted to buy her a damn present.

I gave my head a quick shake. "Nope, that's not gonna work for me."

Madie was glaring at the side of my head. I could just feel it.

"Fine," I said, not able to contain a small smile. "You can get me something small. But hell if I know what I want. I mean it when I say that I just want you. You're coming with me to Caroline's, Madie. That's the best present."

From out of the corner of my eyes, I saw Madie sink into the worn leather seat. She pulled her sweater tighter around her before returning her hand to the top of mine. "Tell me about Caroline," she said, pushing her voice through the wind that swirled around us.

I shrugged my good shoulder. "I don't know what there is to tell."

"Oh, that's not true Bren. What is she like?"

What was Caroline like? Damn, I didn't know. Sometimes when you're so close to someone, it was hard to describe them. Caroline was just...she was just there. She was there in the way that no one else really had been before I'd gone off to college and met Madie and Beau and Nessa. But what was she like?

After a sigh, I said, "Caroline is...well, she's a single woman who spends her days working in advertising and her evenings teaching piano lessons to kids." I paused. "And she likes photography."

Madie laughed, and I darted my eyes over to her. "What?"

"I didn't ask for her online dating profile, Bren. I just want to know what to expect."

"What to expect?" I returned her laugh, chuckling lightly. "Expect that she will love you even though she doesn't know you. Expect that she might ask you questions that you had never even asked yourself, but you need to. And expect that she will be insanely happy that we are coming."

When silence was the only reply that I got, I glanced back at her. She was already looking at me, her cheek resting on the car seat, her smile soft, her eyes twinkling through wild hair. "I'm happy, too," she said, but it was so quiet that I barely heard.

Maybe I imagined hearing the words. But I definitely saw them. And I felt them in the way she looked at me.

We rode quietly for a while, taking in the sights and the peacefulness of the open road.

Eventually, Madie squeezed my hand and asked, "Are you gonna tell me about your dad, Bren?"

"Yes." I sighed. "But just...give me some time."

I'd spent so long pushing Luke Hadaway out of my mind. I've always told myself that he was gone, dead, vanished from this earth until the very moment I knew he'd come back. I kept telling myself that there was nothing I could do except wait.

But I needed to flip that thinking; I was no longer willing to sit around for the inevitable.

Madie nodded.

"Are you mad?" I bit my lip, unsure. I didn't want Madie to think I was pushing her away, but I needed a little time to wrap my head around everything. I needed to decide exactly what to do.

"Of course not." With another squeeze of my hand, she said, "You waited for me to be ready to open up. I can wait, too."

Peering over at her, I took a deep breath. It was really fucking hard not to tell Madie that I loved her with every single opportunity. And damn, if this wasn't an opportunity. Now that my feelings were out in the open, I wanted to tell her over and over and over again. With every conversation, every comment, I longed to tell Madie how much I loved her.

But maybe the best part was that I knew I didn't need to. She knew.

Time passed quickly as we drove back up the coast. We stopped at the small beach town that we had over a month ago; Pismo was mostly the same with its beachside burgers and bird-shit-covered pier. Places didn't change the way that people did, after all.

Before leaving Pismo Beach, we rolled the top up on the Mustang. The rest of the ride was...peace. Madie fell asleep on my outstretched arm, her face squished into my sweatshirt. She was beautiful all the same. And even though my arm grew stiff after the first five minutes, I didn't dare move.

We pulled into Caroline's around seven o'clock, and the moon was already a faded mass in the sky. I leaned over, kissing the top of Madie's head. She stirred.

"Have I told you how happy I am that you're here?" I murmured into her head.

She rubbed herself sleepily against my arm. She was still groggy as she muttered, "Have I told you how happy I am to be here with you?"

"Yes, actually. You have." I smiled, watching as Madie sat upright. She looked through bleary eyes at her surroundings as we sat in Caroline's driveway. Brushing a hand through her hair, Madie kept catching her fingers on snarls as she tried to smooth her gingery mane.

"You look great, baby," I reassured her.

She rolled her eyes at me, and I threw my head back and laughed as I got out of the car. Madie popped out a few minutes later, and soon we were waiting outside Caroline's door. It whipped open within seconds, and I was quickly enveloped into a hug. And then Madie was next. The look on her face was priceless—a little shock and a little happy wonder.

I didn't think I saw Madie's parents hug her once at Thanksgiving.

"Come in!" Caroline exclaimed.

We threw our bags in my old room before joining Caroline at the farm-style kitchen table for her favorite meal—lasagna. And suddenly, everything in the world was just right. We ate. And somehow we managed to only talk about the good things. We talked about Beau's beach house and how he'd showed up to surprise us. We talked about the swanky restaurant we went to on our date because Caroline had always been a bit of a foodie. We talked about how amazing it was that the Mustang never gave out on us even though I only half knew what I was doing when I fixed it up.

After we'd all joined the clean plate club, Caroline said, "I bet you guys are tired."

I nodded, feeling the fatigue coming on. I glanced at my girlfriend. "Madie, why don't you go upstairs, and I'll be there in a minute."

With an adorable little grin, she thanked Caroline for dinner and padded out of the kitchen. As soon as Madie was out of earshot, Caroline asked, "So how's she holding up?"

I shook my head. "It's always hard to know with her. But she's a fighter. She'll be okay. I'll make sure of it." Shifting in my chair, I cleared my throat. "There is...uh, one thing that would make her feel better, though."

Caroline raised a brow. "What's that?"

Pulling my shirt down, I said, "Can you clean this up?"

Her face said it all as she picked at the bandage on my shoulder. I hadn't called ahead to tell her what happened yesterday. There was no point in making her worry a few hours longer.

"Do I even want to know, Bren Hadaway?"

"Probably not."

She did not like that answer. I sighed.

"Her ex found us."

Caroline's head shot up, her eyes finding mine. "And?"

I rubbed the back of my neck and looked away, out of the window at the inky black night. "He tried to shoot me. And missed."

Caroline gasped. "Bren Michael Hadaway, it does not look like he missed."

It was a nice touch, adding the middle name this time.

Whirling away from me, Caroline began grabbing bottles of things from the cupboard. And then she went to work.

"The paramedics cleaned it last night but then it started bleeding again." I shifted my gaze downward, hoping she wouldn't ask when or how it started bleeding again. Maybe I should have been more careful in bed with Madie, but I still didn't regret a single moment. "It's just a graze." I sucked in a breath as she cleaned it.

"Yes." Her voice was tight. "But still."

She'd never been one to coddle me. I could always count on Caroline to say it like it is. And even though she was straight to the point and didn't soften the blow, I always knew she cared. And right now, I knew she cared because she looked fucking pissed.

I looked up. Wispy bangs fell over Caroline's eyes as she trained them on my wound. Trying to say something that might make her feel better, I murmured, "He was arrested, by the way."

"Well I should certainly hope so," she snapped.

I smiled.

Caroline leaned back, studying me. "You have a goddamn hole in your shoulder, and yet for some reason you seem happy."

My smile widened. I shrugged. And it stung like a bitch because Caroline still had an alcohol-soaked gauze or some shit on my shoulder. "It isn't just some reason."

Tilting her head to the side, Caroline matched my grin. "It's her."

I nodded. "Completely her."

Seeming pleased by that, Caroline went back to work, and soon she was slapping a clean bandage over my shoulder and saying, "There, good as new." She grimaced. "Well, not really. Let's get it checked out tomorrow. But it's good for tonight."

Damn, I was hoping to avoid going to the doctor.

"Thanks, Car." I stood and began to make my way to the stairs. I'd probably left Madie waiting for too long.

"Bren?"

I turned around.

Caroline had her hands on her hips.

She lowered her voice to a stern, but somehow amusing, whisper. "I don't care if you have sex in my house while you're here, but I better not hear it. Understood?" My brows lifted, my lips tilting up. Caroline gave me a look, waving a finger in my direction as she continued. "You thought you were sneaky when you were in high school with all those girls, but I heard far more than I ever wanted to."

My brows lifted even further.

"Point taken," I muttered wryly and twisted on my heel, not wanting to have this conversation.

"And for god's sake, use protection!" she whispered fiercely after me, and I laughed.

"Goodnight, Caroline!" I called, giving her a wave as I walked away.

When I got upstairs, it was to see Madie curled in my old bed. One leg was flung out on the outside of the covers, her hair spreading across the pillow. Both of our bags had been opened, clothes exploding over the floor. As I got closer, I realized that Madie was wearing my shirt and my sweatpants.

Never in a million years would I have guessed I'd see this scene.

And it was the best. The absolute best.

🤍
Hey there, my favorite people. Thank you for reading!
Updating schedules stress me out but you'll be seeing updates 1-2 times a week from now on.
XOXO AMELIE
(all caps cuz I'm excited)