I'M LEARNING LITTLE things about Summer as the days go by, like the fact that she likes to squeeze my hand when she's excited.

As we sit in the front row of the empty performing arts center waiting for Aleena and Darren to perform one of their songs, she smiles, absently squeezing my hand ever so often.

I squeeze her hand back and kiss her head to remind her how much I care about her.

Our date went better than I could imagine. It was a relief to see how understanding she was about my lateness and the changed setting. 

I enjoyed helping improve Summer's shooting skills almost as much as I enjoyed completely demolishing her in a one-on-one. There were a lot of other things we did that night that I liked even more.

"Hey, what are you in such deep thought about?" She pokes my stomach and smiles at me.

"You, of course." I answer.

A smirk curls on her lips. "What about me?"

"Everything. Your face, your personality, your intelligence, your mouth."

"My mouth?" She laughs, leaning into me. "I bet you've been thinking about it a lot since last Friday."

"Almost as much as you've been thinking about mines." I lower my voice.

"Are you guys ready?" Aleena interrupts us by calling from the stage behind closed curtains.

It's Saturday morning and they've just finished a pivotal rehearsal session. Apparently it went so well they insisted we come down to get a sneak preview of one of their duets before we leave for break.

I've gotta say I'm interested to see what Darren has up his sleeves. He's always been a good singer and dancer, but the closest performance I've seen of his has been during karaoke. He's been promoted from stage lighter number two to the lead guy and he's been committed to it just as much as he's been committed to the season, so I want to see how it's all coming along.

Coach wants to see as well, so when the curtains are pulled open and the orchestral music begins, I whip out my phone and start recording.

The set looks bare with a half-done moveable brick wall and an elevated metal contraption that I realize is a balcony when Aleena hoists herself onto it.

She stands in her white dress and gives us a thumbs up as Darren waltzes on stage in brown slacks and a grey button down shirt. She breaks into song first, and hearing her voice pulls me back. It's light and airy yet high and perfectly pitched. She sounds like an angelic opera singer who's words I can actually understand.

"Only you, you're the only thing I see, forever." She sings to him.

Not only is her voice emotional but her face is as well. She looks at Darren with full adoration and I'm surprised with how he looks at her with the same longing. When he starts singing, it leaves me stunned quiet.

"And there's nothing I see but Maria, every sight that I see is Maria." He sings back.

I've never heard him like this. So crisp and precise with every syllable and note. He sounds like some opera singer too and when their voices blend together as they move around that makeshift balcony to get to each other, it feels like I'm watching a movie.

He's really putting his all into this. I can see the passion and dedication. The song ends with both of them holding each other tight, and when they turn to us in the audience, Summer and I both jump up and applaud them. I whistle while she cheers and shouts bravo.

"Wasn't that amazing," Summer says.

Darren takes in the praise and there's no doubt he looks happier than I've seen him all year. It looks like he's really found his thing.

"It was." I answer.

Summer grabs my hand and leads me towards the stage then drops it to hug Aleena and sing further praise.

Darren and I do our handshake and pull apart.

"Don't be shy, Reyes, tell me how I look." He presses me trying act cool even though I can tell from his wandering eyes that he's nervous about my reaction.

It's not everyday that Darren Blackburn gets nervous or quiet. The sight is funny, but I don't want to mess with him for too long so I speak honestly. "You're amazing, bro."

His head falls back with relief and his usual smile is back on his face.

"For real?"

"You know if you looked like shit I'd be the first one to tell you." I smack his chest.

"That's definitely true."

"That's just one song," Aleena says. "It's called Tonight. We wanted to give you guys an exclusive sneak peek of what's to come."

I smile at her and nod. I've just recently met her and I think she's a nice girl. Could stand to be a little less chirpy, but she's important to Summer and I can see now that she's important to Darren too.

"It looks like it's coming along well," Summer says.

Aleena grips Darrens arm and leans into him before she lets go of him and takes a step back like she hadn't intended on being so affectionate.

Darren hooks his arm over her shoulders and leans into her until their heads touch and smiles in response.

"After this week we should be set," he says into Aleena's hair which causes her to giggle.

I look over to Summer to make sure she's taken notice of this and she gives me a look that confirms she has.

"Staying on campus for break to rehearse all week. That's really commitment." I raise a brow at Darren.

I want to know where his head is at, if he has something new he wants to confess to me. He has to be thinking about his future, I just don't know if he has anything set in stone.

"Everyone in the play is staying back for rehearsals. You know I'm just as committed to the team. I'll focus on this for spring break and then I'm all in for the semi-finals and whatever comes in the rest of the season."

He looks like he's still unsure, still thinking. I won't push and I won't let coach push either. Not me, coach, nor his family should influence any of his decisions. For once he should have the chance to make one himself.

"I trust you, don't worry," I say to reassure him. "And since me and Summer actually have somewhere to be for spring break, we should get going."

We say our goodbyes to each other, which involves way too many hugs if I'm being honest, before I grab a hold of Summer's hand and we make our way out of the theater.

I need to make a stop at Sam's place to check up on her and give Jake his gift, then we'll get our stuff and start the four hour journey home.

It hasn't felt like home in years, I don't know why I bother to call it that. Mila, I need to remember, she's why.

When we get in my car, I check the backseat to find Jake's gift wrapped neatly in its same place. God, I'm worried about Sam. Trying to contact with her just to see when she'd be home was impossible, she's hasn't picked up any of my calls or returned any messages.

I have to rely on her behavior in previous years and hope she's home making Jake his special birthday cake.

"I'm excited to meet Sam," Summer says. "I feel like after this week I'll have met all the important people in your life."

"You will have."

The thought gives me a small amount of hesitancy. I don't know why, I'm happy with my decision to take this plunge and try a real relationship, I really am. Sometimes out of nowhere I just get confused and overwhelmed like I've put too much on my shoulder, like I'm going off the deep end. But that doesn't change how I feel about Summer, it's a matter of me not knowing how to navigate having such strong feelings. Sometimes it's like I'm on a high,and other times I get these moments of fear, not doubt, but hesitancy I would say.

Summer's stormed into my life and now I'm hooked on her like a drug. I'm praying her withdrawal won't be half as destructive.

I find a spot across from Sam's apartment complex, and attempt to call her while Summer grabs onto Jake's gift.

I'm relieved and surprised when Sam picks up after a few rings.

"We're outside your place, open up." I tell her.

"Really?" She sounds dreary and confused. "Who's we?"

"Me and Summer. We have Jake's gift, I wanna see the little man open it."

She goes quiet and clears her throat. The only thing I hear is faint noises in the background.

"Okay, give me a second. I wasn't expecting guests."

"I'm not a guest, I'm Carter."

I don't like how formal she sounds. We've seen each other in very bad places over the years, formality went out the window two benders and three withdrawals ago.

"You guys should be able to come up now."

The entrance unlocks right as she says it. I open the door for Summer and hang up the phone when we get to Sam's door.

She stands to the side, inviting us in with a nervous smile.

I don't waver my eyes from her. Her face lacks any color it typically has and the dark circles under her eyes are even more pronounced than the last time I saw her. She's dressed in wrinkled pajamas, and her unruly orange hair and squinted eyes make it look like she's just woken up from a nap.

"Um, I hope you guys will excuse the mess." She coughs into her hand, avoiding my eyes.

She looks at Summer, though. Studies her up and down with a more natural smile that lasts a second.

Her small apartment is messier than usual. I almost trip on one of Jake's toy cars and even more of his toys are littered throughout the space and create a trail all the way to Sam's bedroom. A basket of laundry sits on top of the kitchen counter next to a cake, and the sink is full of dirty dishes. The trash can is overspilling and empty pizza boxes and chinese food containers sit on the ground.

"It's totally fine. It's nice to meet you." Summer says, extending her hands to give Sam the wrapped box.

"Nice to meet you too, I've heard a lot about you. I've gotta say you've really performed a miracle here." Sam points towards me. "That must've been one jaw-dropping set of lingerie."

Summer glares at me with a cringed look then lowers her head with embarrassment.

"Sam, can you behave?" I ask.

"For the girlfriend I thought you'd never get in a million years? Of course." She laughs at Summer's reaction and takes a hold of the gift, placing it on the couch.

Before I can ask about Jake's whereabouts the sturdy toddler comes tumbling from Sam's room. His dimples are on full display as he runs towards us with excitement.

"Happy birthday mommy!" He screams.

"No, honey we're supposed to say that to you." Sam scoops him into her arms and kisses the side of his head.

"I like saying it." He insists. "Happy birthday!" He says to me and when his eyes catch Summer he leans into Sam's shoulder with a new sense of shyness.

"Happy birthday, buddy." I rub his back which causes him to look back up and smile again.

"How old is he?" Summer asks.

"Five, they really do grow up fast." Sam says. "I was just finishing frosting his cake."

I reach for Jake and take him out of Sam's arms into my own. "Wow, you're getting big. Do you want to see the gift we got you?"

Jake nods eagerly while Sam goes back to the kitchen to continue frosting the cake. Summer and I take a seat on the couch and help Jake unwrap the boxes after he aggressively claws at it for minutes without being able to get the paper off.

With he sees the ten thousand piece Lego set he takes a step back and gasps. "My legos!" He crawls down and hugs the case.

"What do you say?" Sam yells from the kitchen.

"Thank you." Jake says to me. He looks over at Summer, analyzing her before he builds the courage to speak to her. "Thank you." His voice comes out more shaky and quiet when it's directed at her.

"He's so cute." Summer holds her hand to her heart and mouths to me.

"Are you gonna open it and start building?" I say to him.

He nods with even more excitement and I drop to the ground to help him open it. We start to take the pieces out and arrange them in a pile.

"What are we making first?" Summer says.

"I want to make a big, giant house." He opens his arms out to demonstrate and already seems more comfortable with her presence.

"Well, let's build that big, giant house than." She chuckles.

"Where did you come from?" He asks Summer.

"We go to school together, she's my girlfriend." I tell him.

"Oh, I'm going to school next year. Do you learn your ABC's and stuff? I already learned mines and I can count to twenty-one." He leans into her, moving around the Lego pieces.

"Oh, yes, I learned that a long, long time ago." She ruffles his hair, which causes him to giggle and ask her even more questions. They go from talking about school, to dinosaurs, to his favorite shows and songs.

"I'm more into Sza, but baby shark is a good song too," Summer says.

"Scissor's a song?" Jake asks.

I watch how Summer interacts with him with a smile. She's a natural at getting people to warm up to her. From closed off moody college guys to shy toddlers.

They're so focused on their task and conversation that they don't even notice when I slip away and head to the kitchen.

I sigh, picking up loose toys I find on my way and deposit them into Jake's toy chest. When I get to the kitchen, I press down and tie up her overspilling trash bag, then search in the lower cabinet for a fresh one and set it up in the now empty can.

I can feel Sam watch as I leave to throw the trash out. When I make it back, Summer and Jake are still on the ground and Sam is still icing the cake.

She moves the spatula around with no sense of direction. She looks lost in thought and unaware she's going up and down the same area all this time.

I need to be casual with her. If I come on too strong she'll close up even more. She does that in some extreme cases, which is why I decide to wash my hand in the sink, then get started on some of the dishes to help her out.

"How've you been doing?" I keep my voice even and rinse off a soapy dish.

She takes a breath before she answers. "Um, fine. Just getting through life, you know."

No, I don't know because you've completely shut me out, I want to tell her but I know I have to keep my frustrations at bay.

"Are you okay though? Do you want to talk about anything?" I decide to say instead.

"We can talk about you. How are things going with Summer? She's really pretty and from what I'm hearing in the living room she sounds sweet."

"We're fine, but I think you've heard enough about my relationship. I want to talk about you."

"Well I don't want to talk about me. I've been seeing my lawyer and the school counselor and I'm just about tired of talking about myself these days."

I let my hands run under the hot water, then turn it off and face Sam, trying to decide how I'm gonna lead into this.

"I'm worried about you Sam. I worry about you so much, especially when I know you're going through shit and you cast me out like this. Are you eating? Are you taking care of yourself? Do you need to talk? Do you need to scream? Do you need help with the bills? Just let me in, let me know how I can help like we used to always do."

"That's the thing, Carter. You shouldn't be spending so much time worrying about me. We're in different places in our lives, we're not teenagers anymore." Her voice is monotone without a hint of emotion and she continues to go over and over that same section of the cake with the spatula I want to tear out of her hand.

"What do you mean?" Is she serious? I'm trying not to raise my voice.

"I mean we need to redefine our relationship. We lean on each other too much, it should've never been like this. We can't continue to use each other as emotional crutches, it's toxic. I'm trying to get through this custody case, I'm trying to start my career, and so are you. I mean look at you, you're gonna go to the NBA, you've got a cute little girlfriend. We've grown, we're not what we used to be."

"You're my friend, you're my sister. This isn't some assignment or phase for me. I care about you, I can't just turn that off and move on cause you think we've outgrown each other."

She can't be talking like this, we've never been like this. At my worst Sam was all I had, How am I supposed to go on without her?

"I'm not saying you need to turn anything off or not be my friend. I'm saying you should be spending time thinking about your relationship with Summer, basketball, your other friends, not thinking about helping me get through an emotional or financial crisis. Look, I'll pay you back for the lawyer when I start my teaching job, and I still want to be in your life, but as far as this pseudo sponsor relationship we've had going on, it may be time for us to consult professionals instead of leaning on each other to stay afloat."

"This has always worked for us, you can't lie and say it hasn't. You helped me get sober, you helped me stay sober and I've done the same for you. If we didn't need professionals then, why do we need them now?"

"Because things have changed. You're trying to hold onto something that's gone. I'm sorry Carter, but it's not fair for me to carry the burden of your sobriety as much as it's not fair for you to carry the burden of mines. We can talk about everything else, we can hang out, and you can spend time with Jake if I still have him after all this mess, but we can't be what we used to be. I don't have the energy."

Summer walks into the kitchen at this point, holding Jake's hand. "He wanted to check on the development of his cake."

They're both smiling and unaware of our tension.

"We're done here," Sam says turning to me as if she's referring to our conversation. "Let me just get the lighter and candles then we can cut it."

I try to keep a straight face as we sing Jake happy birthday and distribute the cake. I know I'm good at hiding my emotions. At the end of the day it is what it is. If this is how she wants things to be I have to respect that.

Shortly after finishing our cake, I know Summer and I should get going. Jake goes down for his afternoon nap and Sam all but kicks us out at this point.

Before we leave I whisper one thing to her. "You're family, I'll be there for you as soon as you need me."

She shakes her head and leads us out with tear filled eyes. 

Between this and facing my dad, I know this break is going to be hell. At least I have one ray of light.

Grabbing her hand into mines is such a familiar routine now. To get through the bad, I need to savor the good, and Summer is the good in my life. I know it, and I need to remember it. We made a promise and I want to keep that promise even if a small part of me wants to run from it. 

A/N: For the three people that actually read every chapter I publish (shot out to you guys!) What do you think about this story as a whole so far? As a writer I go through a lot of emotions, and I'm wondering what you guys think. Is it too serious for a college romance story? Are things handled too lightly? Is is slow and boring? Fast and overwhelming? Be honest and let me know if you can! It would be so helpful for me in terms of this story and any future ones I write.