JAKE'S DAYCARE IS twenty minutes away and by the time we rush there, the staff has already closed up for the day. They look at us through the window and no doubt hesitate to walk to the door with my overall disheveled look and forceful knocking.

"The center is closed for the night. How can I help you?" An older woman crosses her arms, daring us to even attempt any mischief she thinks we might have in mind.

"We know. We're just looking for Kelly. Could we speak to her?" I ask.

At this point Kelly approaches the slightly opened door and peers her head out to see. She smiles at me and turns to the older woman. "He's a friend of Jake's mother. We'll step outside for a minute," she says to the dismay of her disapproving coworker.

When Kelly steps out and shuts the door behind her, she looks at us with curiosity.

"Listen Kelly, this is an emergency. Is Sam here with you or at your place?" I ask.

She shakes her head instantly. "No, Jake didn't come to daycare today and I haven't seen them since Tuesday. Why?"

"I haven't been able to get in contact with her all day. When was the last time you babysat for her?"

"Not since Jake was moved to his dad's. Since she only has visitation right now, she hasn't needed me to babysit and she doesn't do pickups or drop offs anymore," Kelly says. "Is she okay?"

"I have no idea but I'm hoping she is." I blow out a puff of air. "Do you know her friend Jean?"

"Yeah we've hung out a few times."

"Would you mind calling her and seeing if she knows anything?" I have a feeling this will go nowhere too, but I still have to try before I exercise my last option.

Kelly agrees sympathetically and pulls her phone out to call Sam's friend. Jean picks up after the second ring only to confirm what I already knew, she hasn't seen Sam outside of work and has no idea where she could be.

Disappointed, Summer and I thank Kelly for her help and wallow back to my truck.

"Maybe we should just file a police report," Summer says.

I grip the steering wheel, trying to clear my head. "There's one more place I didn't want to say in front of John. From our recent conversation, I'm almost positive that's where we'll find her."

"Well where?" Summer sits up.

"Springfield."

"Springfield? The town next to Chester?" She asks.

"Yeah, that's where her parents live. Now I know it's a four and a half hour drive and it's already late, so it's fine if you don't want to come with me."

I'm ready for her to tell me to take her home but a big part of me is hoping she'll want to come with me. I don't hide it in my voice and I don't hide it in the longing look I give her.

She purses her lips and looks away from me battling her inner thoughts.

"We'll make it back by 7am tomorrow right?" She asks.

Oh yeah, she has an exam tomorrow morning, I completely forgot.

"We'll make it back." I agree, starting up my truck.

As we make the long journey to Springfield, we discuss the situation further.

"What's her deal with her parents? Why are you so sure she's with them?" Summer asks.

"You already know they have a complicated relationship," I say.

"Just that her mom divorced her biological dad when she was five and he was never in her life. Then she got pregnant and her mom and step-dad kicked her out," Summer says.

"Yeah, well her step-dad came into her life when she was seven. He was this super religious zealot who completely indoctrinated her mom. Together, they tried to break Sam's spirit at every turn. She would breathe and they would say she was sinning and needed to cleanse the evil out of her. After years of being locked up and physically abused, she finally broke away and started to rebel. They desperately wanted to save face with their church community so they tried to hide her drug problem by continuously sending her to that wilderness camp but when she came home pregnant, they knew they couldn't hide that and swiftly banished her from their home forever."

"So why the hell would she run back to them now?" Summer asks.

"Sam found out last week from an old neighbor that her mom recently had a baby. She's been freaking out about it all week, worried the baby girl is destined to receive the same abuse she did. She kept making these ominous statements, almost insinuating she was gonna go back home and rescue the girl from harm."

"If she's on a rescue mission, I guess that makes more sense as to why she's taken Jake away as well," Summer says.

"Yeah." I breathe.

"But Sam is a logical person. I'm sure if she were in her right mind, she wouldn't be so rash would she? She would know that what she's doing wouldn't end with anything but more trouble for her."

I keep my eyes on the road, gripping the wheel even harder with one hand and tapping my finger with the other. I don't say anything for a while, letting the silence linger as I keep my mind steady.

"Right." Is all I say.

By the time we make it to Springfield, I've failed to keep the panic at bay. Dred, anger, and fear enfold me in a tight cocoon. Pulling up Sam's old block brings back a surge of memories both good and bad and it mixes together with everything else nearly choking me.

This can still be turned around. We'll find them and I'll convince Sam to come back home. Her parents won't even know she was here, John won't either and as long as we get Jake back safely, which I'm certain we will, I think there's room to convince him to forget about this.

We hop out and Summer pulls me into a tight hug, squeezing my body with all the strength she can muster. For some odd reason, it calms me down, brings my heart back to its normal beating.

"I love you." I kiss her head. Despite everything, that feeling still lingers beneath everything else. I'm afraid it may never go away, but will hers? This may be too much for her, I may have too much baggage and tonight might be the night she decides she doesn't want to deal with a former addict and his strange attachment to his addict friend.

When she pulls away, I notice an SUV speeding down the block. It slows down and the driver parks in the empty spot behind us.

John suddenly hops out, Adjusting the jacket of his navy suit and charges towards us.

"Heard the news too, buddy. Figured I'd come check things out as well." He smirks, walking right past our view towards the Benson household.

Shit.

I don't even have time to think or react because John is already banging on the front door. Summer and I run to the mid-sized white house and I grab his hand back before he can knock again.

The lights are all turned off and the blinds are all closed, meaning either Sam's parents aren't home or they're asleep. For everyone's sake, I'm praying they simply aren't home. Either way, John's knocking doesn't seem to have awakened anyone and the door goes unanswered.

"Hey, back off of me, you jackass." John pulls his hand out of my grip, seething at me.

"I'll back off when you stop knocking like an idiot. It's eleven, people are sleeping."

"If she's brought my son here, then they're probably not sleeping so screw you and if you lay a hand on me again, I swear to god, it'll be both of you battling in court against me," John says.

"We don't even know if she's here or not, how about we take a step back and figure out a plan?" Summer says.

Before either of us can add anything, we hear the sound of a baby crying. It's loud and strained, like the child is choking on pain and comes directly from the direction of the backyard.

We all stop and share a look amongst each other: fear. It connects us on a common mission and we bolt towards the side of the house where all it takes to get to the backyard is to unhook the small latch of the white fence.

Summer takes her phone out and puts the flashlight on, and John and I follow suit and do the same. The sight before us, before me, could only have been conjured from my worst nightmare.

Sam lays across the grass floor, completely unconscious. Jake lays next to her, unconscious as well and a small baby sits up, screaming her head off. Vomit covers Sam's mouth, neck and Jake's torso.

She looks like she's overdosed. She looks dead.

It may be a warm May night, but a chill takes over my body that causes me to shiver. My left hand begins to shake, then my right hand and next thing I know, everything feels unsteady. I feel like I'm gonna fall over, I feel like I'm gonna pass out.

For I don't know how long, I completely disassociate from this moment. My mind is no longer here, but far away to a time long ago.

I'm eight-years-old again. My mom is alive and healthy. Dad is at work on a Saturday again and to cheer me up, she's made a picnic in the backyard. It's a warm sunny afternoon and after feasting on tacos and lemonade, we run around the pool, chasing after butterflies. I'm happier than I've ever been, my dad's negligence completely forgotten. But as she picks me up and spins me around, her long brown hair starts falling out in chunks. Her smiling white teeth start to rot, and she begins to scream in agony. She's screaming for me to help her, I need to save her.

My mind snaps back and the baby is still screaming until Summer rushes over and picks her up. She rocks her back and forth, soothing the baby that otherwise doesn't look harmed. Maybe she's hungry, maybe she needs her diaper changed, but appearance wise, I think she's fine.

Sam and Jake on the other hand...

I can't move. I can't bring myself to walk over to the tree they lay under and check up on them.

Fortunately and unfortunately, John is more than prepared to check himself.

"Jesus christ, Jesus christ," he says in despair. The earlier smugness, the anger washed away. He sounds hurt more than anything.

"Carter," Summer says, still rocking the baby and watching me with concern.

I can't bring myself to catch her eye but I do bring myself to step forward and check on Sam and Jake.

John reaches for Jake and looks up at me, scared to touch him, so I do the honors myself.

I don't care about the vomit that covers my hands as I bring it to his neck and check Jake's pulse. It's still beating, thank god. I shake him lightly once, then shake him again. At first I get no response, then I hear a low whine before he stirs awake.

He smacks his mouth together twice and says in a low whisper. "I'm thirsty, can I have some apple juice, mommy?"

"Thank the heavens." John scoops Jake up into a hug, spinning him around, which causes him to break into a giggling fit.

"Daddy." He laughs into his shoulder, taken by surprise.

"Jake, baby. Are you okay?" John holds him up towards the moonlight, examining him.

"My shirt is yucky," Jake says.

"Are you hurt though? Any booboos?" I ask, relieved he's conscious.

"My shirt is yucky." He repeats.

John rubs Jake's head, checking his face, arms, back and legs until he's satisfied. "Well if it's just a yucky shirt we can take care of that."

"Mommy," Jake says. "She said she was feeling funny and happy and then she had a tummy ache and made my shirt yucky."

I turn back to Sam, knowing I need to check her next. Though her pulse is fine, I'm not able to shake her away. It gets to the point where John carefully sets Jake down and comes to my side, trying to help wake her as well.

"Something's wrong. We need to call an ambulance," John says in a concerning tone.

I lower myself to the ground and pull Sam up against me. "Sam, wake up. Sam, wake up."

"Carter." John tries to step towards me but I can see from the corner of my eye that Summer stops him.

"What have you done? What have I done?" I can't help blaming myself for this. It's all my fault. Of course I couldn't keep my grip on everything, of course it all had to come crashing down. This is me we're talking about, since when have I been able to have everything work out.

If I had been there for her more, without any distractions I can't help but think she would've been more receptive to my support, she wouldn't have fallen off the wagon. Or maybe she still would've shut me out and things would've ended up the same. The uncertainty eats at me more than anything.

I can hear Summer asking John what to do next. They leave me be, with Sam still half laying on my lap unconscious. Summer hands the baby to John, who agrees to attempt to sneak her back into the house unnoticed. While he leaves, Summer calls an ambulance and gives them the street name instead of the house number.

After a few minutes, John slides the back door open and comes with empty hands.

"She's back in her crib," he says. "If they didn't notice Sam sneaking in and snatching their baby I'm sure they wouldn't notice us putting her back, but the girl started crying when I laid her down and I saw a light flick on right before I was able to sneak out."

"Good, I think," Summer says, conflicted. "The ambulance should be here any minute. If we get Sam on the street fast enough they could pick her up and leave before the whole neighborhood is woken up."

I'm barely holding on, but somehow, I manage to help John lift Sam and lead her towards the street. Thankfully, Jake has fallen asleep again, and snores lightly into Summer's shoulder so he doesn't have another ugly site of his mom to remember.

The ambulance arrives and they load Sam after we inform them of her suspected overdose. After some arguing, it's decided that John will ride with Sam to the hospital and have Jake checked out too. Summer and I will follow in my car.

The entire order is a blur, me just following directions rather than leading the action because I have no ability to think for myself.

One minute we're on the street watching the ambulance drive away, the next we're in the hospital waiting room, listening to John explain that all of Jake's tests turned out negative and he's perfectly healthy.

John is so relieved about that fact that he actually pats my shoulder trying to comfort me.

I can't bring myself to be relieved, I can't bring myself to feel anything but pain. In this moment more than anything, I wish I had something to take it all away, and I sink into deeper despair at that fact.

A few hours pass, I think, and the doctors finally come out. In simple terms, Sam is okay. She'll be kept overnight for observation then she'll immediately be shipped to a rehab facility. I don't fight anyone on this, especially John, who has been gracious enough to protect her from further trouble with the baby situation.

"I'm gonna get a hotel tonight and we'll be back in the morning to check on Sam. I'll call and update you on everything. I'm sure you're needing to get back to school by now," John says more to Summer than me.

She's been dozing off half asleep and shoots up to check her phone at this. "Crap, Carter. It's 3:30am. We need to go back to school."

Her exam. I forgot again. Despite everything, I shoot up with a new surge of energy.

"We'll go now. I'll get you back on time," I say even though Summer is already bolting for the door.

I'm back in my car, and as I speed back to campus, my sense of direction begins to return. I almost reach to grab Summer's hand, but stop myself. A part of me wants her, another part, a very old one, thinks that hand will only lead me back to the bottle.