"I'LL LET Y'ALL go a little early today," coach Taylor says. "I just wanna give my last few regards. First, I think y'all should congratulate yourselves on making it so far in the tournament. Two more wins, and we're off to the championships. Let's keep our eyes on the prize. That means I'm gonna be harder on you guys than I have been all season. I will not tolerate lateness, I will not tolerate low effort, and I will not tolerate trouble."

He gazes at me intensely after the last warning, then he settles on Ken in the crowd and does the same. Could he know? I don't think he should, besides the bruises on our faces that've mostly faded by now, there's no evidence from the fight. There has been a noticeable tension between everyone but I don't think it's bad enough for him to notice.

I wipe the sweat off my forehead with my back hand then place it back on my hip. I can't wait to get the hell out of here. I don't even bother using the showers anymore. As soon as we're dismissed, I rush back to my room to clean up.

"With that being said, y'all are free to go," coach says to my relief.

"Ah, ah ah," he stops Ken and I from following the rest to the locker room by pulling us by the back of our shirts like little kids. "Not you two boneheads. Y'all are to stay right where you are."

I drop my head back and groan. He definitely knows.

Ken sighs, dropping his head and rubbing his eyes.

When the last of the team disappears through the locker room door, coach steps up to me, his eyes blazing with heat.

"You," he hits my chest with his closed fist, "are gonna work this out."

"You," He does the same to Ken, "are gonna work this out. Right here, right now."

"Coach, let me explain-" Ken tries to plead, but coach cuts him off.

"Zip it. Hearing from coach Wilson, who heard it from one of his players, who heard it from a girl he was seeing, who heard it from her friend who drove a bloody Ken and rowdy Chris back to campus was enough," he says. "The only thing I wanna hear is you resolving this issue. I'm gonna stand outside those doors and you are not to touch it until you two make up."

"Yes coach." We say, knowing better than to try to do anything that could make him angrier.

Ken and I stand awkwardly when coach leaves, our eyes drift to the floor, ceiling, door, anything that could keep us from looking at each other.

"You wanna..." He scratches his head and gestures for a seat on the bleachers.

"I guess, we might as well." I shrug, following him and taking a seat in the first row.

We sit on opposite ends, until Ken hesitates a few times then finally decides to scoot closer.

He clears his throat. "Listen man, I'm sorry."

"Are you?" I ask more aggressively than I intend.

"Yeah, I really am." He shakes his head, looking at me with what almost seems like remorse. "I should've apologized the night of the fight, I was just in too much shock."

"Imagine how I felt when you nearly bashed my head into the bus."

He turns silent for a stretching moment before he speaks again. " I know you're pissed. Could you just let me explain myself? It's no excuse, I just need you to see where I'm coming from."

I could give into my stuck up persona and refuse to hear his side of things, but I don't want to. Practice was a mess because we're all out of sync due to the fight. If there's any chance of us going further in the tournament, we have to squash this and move on.

"So let's hear it," I say.

"I've been having some family issues. I'm not gonna give you my whole life story, but a few years ago my dad was diagnosed with Lupus. It causes a lot of pain, and it would get so bad that he wouldn't be able to work, so eventually his boss got tired of it and fired him. Since then, my mom has been juggling two retail jobs to pay the bills. Obviously retail pays shit so it's been a struggle, but my parents and three siblings are holding on, because dear old Kenny is about to make it pro and NBA contracts are sure to pay millions. The only problem is I'm not sure I'm good enough to make it pro, man. It's my last season and after all these years, I haven't been able to prove myself, I haven't been able to get any attention on my talent. It's all been directed towards you."

I scoot a bit to the side from his gaze. If he tries to throw another punch, I'm not gonna let him get an easy hit.

"It's all Carter, Carter, Carter. You're the star, you're the one NBA elites want to mentor, you're the one companies want to sponsor. Look, I've always admired your skills and I'm not knocking you for having talent, but I'll admit, as the pressures built up, I've built a resentment against you. It's like you've been getting better while I've been getting worse. When you made that comment back at St. Joseph's, it felt like you were rubbing the salt in my wound and I got so angry that I did something I seriously regret. Again, I'm sorry and I promise it won't happen again."

I don't know how to feel about his revelation. On one hand I do feel for him and his predicament, and on another, he's been a piece of shit all season, and his problems don't change that fact.

"I wish you would've told me how you were feeling," I say.

"I don't know if you've noticed but it's kinda hard to talk to you, bro. All these years we've been playing together and I don't even know anything about you."

for once he doesn't sound arrogant or angry. He's talking to me like he talks to Chris. It makes it easier to put my guard down.

"I don't think I'm better than you, you know," I mumble.

"What? He says.

"I don't think I'm better than you. None of you guys. The reason I don't talk to you or want to hang out is because I'm a recovering from a drug and alcohol problem and I've been worried you guys might influence me to relapse," I say.

His eyes widen. "Really? You should've told us. We don't just spend all our time drinking and partying, you know. We would've taken precaution. We're your teammates, despite the resentment, which is something I'm working on, I don't know why you would think we wouldn't have your best interest at heart."

"I don't know." I drag the words. "I just didn't think you'd understand."

"Your problem is you went to the extremes. If you had just let us in even a little, it would've made all the difference in how we saw and treated you."

"I know, I'm working on it," I say.

"So do you accept my apology?" He extends his hand for a truce.

"Yeah, let's put this behind us." I take it, giving him a firm shake. "Does this mean you're gonna stop being a dickhead?"

He lets out a laugh. "I don't know, I think I was just born this way."

"I can believe that." I laugh with him.

"But seriously, I'll get my attitude in check. Let's try to finish this season strong."

"Are you free tonight?" I ask.

"Yeah, why?"

"Meet me back here at nine. We'll go through some drills and I'll let you in on some of Marc's pointers. As for the rest of our actual games, I'll stop hogging the ball. It'll be my priority to not only make sure we win, but to make sure everyone also gets to show off their skills. I'm sorry about that by the way."

"Thanks, man." He looks appreciative, sporting a wide grin.

I find myself grinning too. It feels like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders after all this time. Coach was right, he's always right. My teammates should have been my brothers front the start. I just hope I can make up for all the lost time.

"I want you to gather the team up. There's this escape room right off route 22. We need to rebuild our bond before the next game, and I think this will be a great way for us to settle everything and work on some much needed team building." I stand straight and keep my voice firm.

This feels like the right move. Taking charge, finally putting forth people other than myself. I didn't realize how selfish I came across before but now that I'm understanding, I definitely need to make an effort to change.

"Look at you, a natural born leader." He pats my back as we make our way out. "I'll make sure they all show up."

Coach watches us walk out smiling with Ken still patting me on the back, and a smile begins to form on his face from it.

"I take this as you two have made up?" He asks.

"We have." I nod at Ken, who nods back.

"Great, now let's refocus on important matters," coach says. "What the hell is going on with Darren and this damn play he's apparently participating in at the height of our season?" He looks at me with bewilderment and I almost crack up from the sight. 

"I don't think he's happy playing basketball. He won't fully admit it, but he basically kind of did. My girl's roommate needed some help with her play, so I figured it'd be good to have him try some stuff out and see what he likes."

"Son." Coach's eyes dip. "You got a girl?"

"He's got a girl?" Ken repeats.

Did I just call Summer my girl? I did, didn't I. I mean she is my girl, technically, not officially, but kind of.

"Yeah, its new." I roll my eyes at the way their mouths gape open. "Can you guys chill? I've had girls before."

Ken just laughs and makes his way to the locker room.

"We're messing with you. " Coach smacks my shoulder. "Could this be the same girl who called me when you were sick, or the one you took to the banquet?"

"Both are her." My face starts to heat up and I try to keep my smile at bay from her memory.

Coach says nothing, lingering on my flushed face with fascination. "Well hot damn, someone's whipped."

I clear my throat and choose to stay silent. There's nothing wrong with being whipped for the right girl and so far, Summer feels right.

Coach clears his throat when he realizes I'm not going to reply and decides to move on. "Well, as long as this play doesn't get in the way of him finishing the season, it's fine. I'm gonna have a chat with the little man, see where his head is at."

"You should." I agree, giving him a look for his continual use of the words "small" and "little" when referencing us even though we all tower over him.

I think it makes him feel more in charge, like he's got a better handle on us if we're little kids in comparison. I don't mind it, if feels like how a dad would act. He treats us like his kids and looks at us like a proud dad. It's been one of the few things that have kept me going these last few years.

He lets me go and I grab my bag from the locker room and head out.

Sam texted me she was on her way to Mitchell hall when I left practice and by the time I get back, she's waiting outside for me.

I pull her into a hug, messing with her light blue hair until she swats my hand away.

"Don't mess it up, I just got it redone." She whines.

"The blue is nice." I step back and examine her appearance. I've been worried about her, she's been distancing herself from me lately. Besides the heavy bags under her eyes, she looks fine. Might be a little thinner, but she always says her weight fluctuates constantly.

"It's teal." She corrects me. "And you smell like crap by the way."

"Good, I made sure to get all musty just for you." I lift my arm and inch it towards her face.

She pinches the skin below my armpits and lets out a choked gag. "You're disgusting."

The faintest smile tugs on her face before it disappears and she goes back to looking exhausted.

"You've been ghosting me, you know." I open the door and usher her in before I follow.

"Between work, Jake, and the custody battle I haven't had time for anything else." She yawns into her hand.

"How's the case going?" I ask as we make our way into my room and she takes a seat at my desk.

Hurt replaces her exhaustion and she bites her lip and excessively twirls a strand of her hair before answering. "It's messy. John's lawyers are definitely going all in. If it wasn't for the lawyer you got me, I would've been screwed for sure."

Tears pool her eyes and I can tell from her voice that she's not far off from letting them slip out.

I need to reel her back in and keep her steady. The thing with Sam is once she falls a little, she gets very close to hitting rock bottom. She's done it twice before, and I can't let it happen again, because if she gives up then there's no hope for me. She's the one who leads our sobriety, and her support is not only the single most integral part of my recover, but it's the reason I'm willing to  to something like take the jump with Summer. If she goes down,  so do I.

"I read somewhere that judges usually favor the mother. You have a stable job, you've been staying sober, and most importantly, you've been taking care of Jake by yourself since the start.  I think there's a good chance you'll. I think you will win."

"They usually favor mother's but not when those mothers have 3 arrests and a rehab stint in their records. They're treating me like I'm a dangerous monster even though two out of three of those arrests were from fighting back against my creepy stepdad and the third was for shoplifting some winter clothes for Jake when he was a newborn. But they don't care. The reasons don't matter, especially when you stack me up against John's family connections."

She sniffles and when I try to pull her in for an embrace she shakes her head. "I'm fine, I swear I'm fine. I'm just letting the worst thoughts run through my head. I need to be distracted."

"Are you hungry or anything? Do you want to go out and eat?"

"I'm going to need you to take a shower before I agree to anything." She scrunches her nose. 

"I will, I will."

"Like, now." She points to my bathroom with urgency.

"Okay, I'll shower right now." I surrender, and sniff myself self-consciously."Just promise me you won't run off while I clean up."

"I promise," she says trying to smile again through her red-rimmed eyes.

I grab my towel and change of clothes then rush for my shower so I can clean up quickly. When I come back, she's in her same spot to my relief and she's actually smiling which relieves me even more.

"Everything okay?" I peak my eyebrow and fall onto my bed.

"Everything's great." I don't want to say her smile is unsettling, but it gives me a little whiplash.

"When's the next hearing?" I ask.

"Nope. I need distractions and talking about this stupid custody case is not distracting me from it." She says, making her way from my desk sit to the edge of my bed. "What's going on with you? I need news and excitement preferably."

She sounds light and playful, all her tension seemingly dissolving in the span of my quick shower. I'm glad, really. I just can't help but think something is off about it. I don't have enough inkling to say or do anything, I just need to keep an eye on her and hope she's suddenly become good at putting her emotions behind her.

"We're one game away from making the semi-finals," I say, trying to decide how I'm gonna leeway to Summer. I haven't told Sam anything about her since the night we met. It's been hard to keep her updated when she's barely been answering my calls.

"You remember a few weeks ago when I told you about that drunk girl who showed up in my room?"

She snorts. "Of course I remember. Who could forget Victoria's Secret?"

"Well." I run my hand through my wet hair. "I've kinda been hanging out with her and that hanging out has kinda turned into something else.

"What!" She shrieks, grabbing a pillow and pummeling me hits as she bounces on the bed. "Since when? How? What?"

I spend the next few minutes painstakingly giving her every detail from the moment Sam left my dorm the night we met, to the last time we hung out at the lake. I don't give her every detail about our time at the lake, the kiss is enough.

"I knew it, I knew it." Excitement takes over her face. "What did I say that night? I predicted this shit. Come on, give me some credit."

"Okay, you predicted it." Her excitement is infectious and I find myself subcomming to it.

"You guys are officially dating? Like is she your girlfriend?"

"I mean, yeah. We haven't had the time to talk about the logistics, but we said we'd give it a go."

Did we say we'd give it a go? Summer and I haven't taken to time to sit down and really talk about what happened between us. The promise we made back at the stadium, I figured she meant us, right now. She did kiss me back, eagerly. I don't know if that means she wants to pursue a relationship, but I would think she would?

"How many dates have you been on, have you asked her to be your girlfriend." Her questions are one after another. She's definitely distracted I'll say.

" I think she is and we haven't been on any dates, like I said, it's early. Besides the lake, of course."

I'm not a hundred percent sure I believe myself. I think I'm just projecting my thoughts and feelings onto Summer. She's in the midst of a challenging semester and she's juggling a job with it. Why didn't I take five seconds to ask how she felt about us, me?

"Carter, that is not how things work. The basketball game and lake do not count as dates. It was a spontaneous meetup that later turned into more. You didn't ask her officially on a date nor did you ask her to be your girlfriend, so it doesn't count," she says.

"Just because I didn't officially ask doesn't mean it doesn't count, it's implied."

"Listen and listen closely." she tugs my ear and pulls me to sit up. "Girls do not like implying when it comes to relationships. Girls do not like guessing. I mean, we'll guess and create scenarios until our heads explode, but at the end of the day, it's all just hypothetical until we get verbal confirmation. Summer needs to hear you ask her on a date, she needs to hear you tell her you want her to be your girlfriend. Until you do so, it's not official."

Something seems to snap in her and she scoots away from me so abruptly that she nearly falls off the bed. When I grab a lot of her, she smiles again.

"Can I use your mouthwash?" She blows into her hand to check her breath. "I had a lot of onions on my sandwich."

"Sure."

I watch her rush to the bathroom and it puzzles me.

When she comes back she sits by me on my bed again, looking more relieved. "So, back to Summer. How are you asking her out? We need to plan out some date ideas, I have a bunch of ideas."

While she lists off her grand ideas and plans, all I can think about is if Summer would even want to go on a date with me. Maybe she only wants to hookup like she did with Cory Bush. The thought of Summer and Cory Bush hooking up makes me feel more sick than when I had the flu.

I let the thought escape my mind before I start to get noticeably uncomfortable. The one thought that can't leave is the thought of Summer's rejection. If I really take this leap, if I really put it all on the line and ask her out and she shoots me down, I'll be devastated.