Maddie

The best thing about Germany is the difference in climate compared to America. Back home, if I were to have stepped outside in the middle of June in California? I'd be smacked right in the face with humidity, but thanks to being far from the North Atlantic Current, it's a solid high of seventy-five degrees outside.

There's a park a few blocks from the apartment that Izzy loves to go to. We'll feed ducks or watch kids sail boats in the pond, and truthfully, it's more of a break here for me than it is for her. Here, I'm able to block out the sound of beeping monitors and screaming and crying. As much as I've learned here, I've also experienced loss. I'm still picturing the seven-year-old girl we lost in a car accident yesterday during my clinical hours at the hospital.

But here, I'm able to watch my daughter's eyes light up when the children laugh. Here, I remember that to her, life isn't scary yet. It's filled with opportunities, new experiences, and love. Izzy brings me back down to earth, and even though I doubted being able to take care of her by myself here, I'm doing the damn thing and doing it well. It's days like these I'm grateful she's here with me. Without her, I'd probably be curled up on the couch with a tub of Ben and Jerry's,

Izzy points up to the tree above us from the bench we're sitting on. She's on my lap, her eyes going wide. "Look, mama! A bird!"

I gasp as if I've never seen a bird before in my life. "That's so cool, Iz! What sound does a bird make?"

She makes the cutest little chirp chirp in her high-pitched voice, and my heart swells up twice the size. The moment is interrupted when my phone starts to buzz in my pocket, and I let out an aggravated sigh, moving her to my other knee so I can fish it out.

When Maya's name lights up my screen, for once, my mood only seems to get better. "Hey!" I exclaim. "How are you? I feel like we haven't talked in forever!"

There are a few beats of silence before she asks, "Are you okay?"

"Um... Yes? Is there a reason I shouldn't be?"

More silence.

Dread pools in my gut, twisting around my insides until I find it hard to breathe. "Maya, what happened? Just tell me. Is Ethan okay? Is the baby okay?"

I can hear the loud swoosh of breath she lets out. "Ethan's fine, and I'm still healthy and pregnant. I just... You haven't seen the news?"

She knows better than anyone how much I despise the internet. I want nothing to do with the fame or the ridiculous rumors people come up with about my family. One day I'm having an affair. The next, we're getting a divorce. They'll say anything for a story. It used to bother me at first when the news leaked about Cameron and I being together, and although I haven't truly experienced the paparazzi yet in person since I've been studying here in Germany, the rumors and online blasphemy are enough to make me hate them.

But now I'm wishing I did pay attention to the gossip as I reply, "What are you talking about?"

"The tape..." She starts, but she doesn't have to finish. I know what tape she's talking about without her needing to explain. That damn tape has been in the back of my mind for years. I wasn't that much of an idiot to believe Katie had honestly deleted it. She's too conniving and evil not to hold onto leverage like that.

"Does Cameron know?" It's the only thing I can think of. His...everything is on full display to the entire world. If he doesn't know, he needs to. Maybe his management team can do something to delete it.

My hands are shaking as I clutch the phone to my ear, and adrenaline is coursing through my veins. As much as I want to cry, I have a little girl to be strong for. I try to shield her from this life as much as possible.

"I'm not sure. Ethan's been trying to call him, but he hasn't picked up. If you don't believe me, I can send you the link."

I shudder at the thought. The last thing I need to see is my husband's hands on someone else. Kissing her, touching her, fucking her. "Please, don't. I don't need to see it or give it any more views than it has." I pause before I add, "Did you watch it?"

"What the fuck?" Maya scoffs. "Obviously not, but it's trending all over social media. I've tried to avoid the screenshots, but I'm not that lucky."

Oh my god. The entire world is seeing my husband's dick.

Why the fuck did Katie release it? Wouldn't she want to hold onto it as leverage? And if she released that video, did she...

"And the video about me?" I'm hardly able to whisper.

"Nothing. You're good. Well, for now."

Shrinking back onto the bench, I bounce my knee to keep Izzy from getting restless and release a sigh. I've never been one to keep a good hold on my anger, especially when it comes to Katie. In seconds, I'm releasing a maniacal laugh and saying, "As soon as I find her..." I cover Izzy's ears with both hands, pressing my phone between my ear and shoulder. "I'm going to finish what I started last year."

"I don't doubt it," Maya quips. "I'll be right there alongside you, girl."

"Um, no. Not when you're seven months pregnant. I'm pretty sure Ethan would gut me if he found you anywhere near that fight."

"He's such a mother hen," she grumbles. "If it makes you feel any better, the comments about this sex tape aren't negative. I totally get the invasion of privacy and all, but I think this just made all the women in America want to buy his jersey. Sales will skyrocket, if anything." A few beats of silence, and then, "Sorry. I suck. I don't really know what to say in this situation."

I knew if the video released, it wouldn't destroy his career. Athletes get into predicaments like this all the time, but Cameron isn't like any other athlete. Sure, sales will spike, but what good is that if his integrity is shattered? He used to be a player back in the day, but that's not who he is now. He's come so far since then. Grown. Matured.

And as far as how I feel about it, I'm more concerned about him than I am about me. I knew when I married him that women would try anything to get with him. I've seen the football games aired on television. I've witnessed women with signs with their tits out, begging for a photo opportunity or a night alone with him. None of it has ever bothered me because, at the end of the day, Cameron chose me. If women want to gaze upon his dick all day in a video, then so be it, but they'll never get the opportunity to experience it.

And I fucking hate that Katie got to. I despise that she is the one who released it. And now we're tied up in her sick, twisted games when this should be our time to be happy as a family. I thought we had put all the bullshit of our past behind, but now...

"I don't want to cut this short," Maya interrupts, clearing the silence, "but maybe you should call Cameron. He might answer you."

"Yeah," I agree. "I will. We'll talk soon though?"

After making plans to chat next week, I hit Cam's contact, continuing to bounce my knee for Izzy, unsure if it's for her or to control my anxiety.

The call goes straight to voicemail, but not before I see a text from him sent about an hour ago.

Cam: I'm so sorry. I'll explain soon. I love you, Mads.

And then it hits me that Cameron clearly knew she was up to something. Had he known she planned to release the video? If he needs to explain, there's been vital information withheld from me. And is that why he got off the phone so abruptly the other day? Was he speaking to her?

Emotion clogs my throat, but I refuse to show it. Not when Izzy is still pointing out the various birds looming in the trees. I can't let the anxiety get to me over the situation even though I have no choice but to worry. Because, yes, at the end of the day, Cameron did choose me, but there was also a time he chose her. Now Katie is back with a vengeance, holding onto the most important video that could destroy my entire career.

And the entire time it was happening, I wasn't informed at all.