Chapter 24
Zac
Ben found me half an hour later, sitting in the armchairs by the windows in my room. He had an unopened whiskey bottle in his hand and gestured with it tentatively.
"Zac? Drink? I just found this new smokey one.. You alright?" he gave me a concerned look.
I nodded slowly.
"Yes. Let's do that. I need to vent a bit, I think."
He located two tumblers, opened the bottle, and poured us each a glass and sat down next to me. He brought his tumbler first to his nose, gave an appreciative smile, and then to his lips, letting the amber liquor fill his taste buds.
"Not bad," he smacked and gazed toward me. "So, that was a.. thing to happen."
I took a sip of the whiskey and felt the smokey liquid slip down my throat. I put the tumbler down on the small table in front of the chairs and stared out the window.
"I have never wondered about where I came from. You and your family have always treated me like I was born into it.." I exhaled deeply, and I could feel Ben turning his gaze towards me, waiting patiently. " ..and for that, I am ever grateful. I loved your father and mother.. not like they were my own, but because they were my own. I have never felt or thought anything about my past before. My past has always been here. All my life. I have never been anyone else."
I sighed and rested my elbows on my knees, staring out of the window. A lump formed in my throat, and I fought to suppress it.
"The only time I thought about it was when I saw that photo," I rubbed my face. "But beyond that curiosity, I didn't feel anything else. Nothing."
I paused. The lump in my throat evolving into watery eyes too. I swallowed.
"Now it just feels like someone has intruded on my privacy. Like someone has come and stolen me from my family and therefore my family from me, you know?"
He didn't know, of course. How could he? His family was given by blood and birth; mine was a whim of my mother finding a baby on her doorstep and keeping it as her own. He could never lose his family, but I felt like I had just lost mine. I knew I should probably feel like I had gained one, but today's revelation had left me unbalanced. As if the small ice patch I was standing on, was ripped off from the mainland, and now I was floating out into unknown territory.
"Zac. It is only you and me left of our family now. You could never lose me; I'm your brother. You are, for better and worse, stuck with me."
He stood up, gazing through the window.
"I actually thought about it when you showed me the picture - how they all looked like Frej. I just.." he paused and frowned out towards the sky. "What does this all mean? We have a new pack formed, and it just so happens to be, allegedly at least, your relatives, and this just before a Gathering which also is a rare occasion. Three rare things happening at once - is it a coincidence? Maybe it is a trap of some kind?"
I looked at him. I hadn't thought about that.
"I.. but then, do you think we can trust Hild?"
He turned around and looked at me.
"That would be your sister. Right, I didn't think about that."
I sighed and rubbed my face again.
"How can we figure this out?"
He leaned back again and gave me a crooked smile.
"Well, we could call your sister and pry a little. They cannot be back yet, can they?"
I smirked.
"Let me guess, Connor should make the call and then connect?"
He grinned widely.
"I think Connor has deserved it. He has had a long day. And don't you want me to sass out her mood before you talk to her? Remember how you are a bit afraid of her?"
"Just make the call, asshole."
He snapped up my phone from the table and pressed the number. After a couple of long tones, she finally answered.
"Yes? This is Hild."
"Hello, Hild. This is Connor from Beta Zac's office. Sorry to disturb you at this hour. Is everything fine with you?" he smiled confidently.
"Oh, Connor. How nice to hear from you. Working late again? Oh, right, the meeting – has something happened?" she answered with a worried voice.
"No, no, everything is fine. Your friends just left about half an hour ago, and they seemed to be in a good mood. The discussions went well," he leaned back and swirled with the whiskey in his tumbler.
"Oh, I am glad to hear it. These werewolf things are hard to understand, but I have realized that having a pack is a big thing. It is important to B."
"It is not important for you?" the swirling stopped and I noticed a small crease on his forehead. The pack was usually one of the most important things for a werewolf.
"Oh, I don't know. I mean no disrespect, but I have lived as a human for so long and without a pack for so long, well actually without anyone for so long, so I think perhaps it would be a too hard adjustment for me to make."
His face dropped.
"Oh, you don't want a pack? But your wolf?"
"I.. oh, well, I was raised in foster homes. Human foster homes. I didn't know I was a werewolf until just last week when Tristan told me. I didn't know about werewolves at all until Tristan told me. I think my wolf trying to connect with me was deemed a mental illness of some kind, so I took, still do actually, medication to subdue it."
"Oh, I see. It must be hard to get all that information in such a way. I am sorry about that."
"It's fine. I am adjusting. Though, can I be frank with you, Connor?"
"Of course. You can tell me.. yes, of course."
I glanced toward him, amused by the care he took with conversation. Was she really that scary?
"I think.." she hesitated. "I think I am a little bit afraid, actually."
"Afraid? Of being a werewolf?" Ben murmured in surprise.
"Uhm, yes. B has told me that everything is much more powerful when you connect to your wolf, and I just want to live in peace, you know. It doesn't make sense, I get it, but I control my life for once. For once in my life, I am not at the mercy of someone else, and I am in control. Finally. And I don't want anyone to control me again."
"Why do you think anyone would want to control you?" Ben asked warily.
"Well, B has told me about the strictness of some packs and how the alpha is like a mighty god, and everyone has to do what he says. And it is always a man isn't it?"
Ok.
"I.. well, the Alpha is always a man, yes, but some packs are run by a female, a Luna. I won't lie to you, some packs are run in a very hierarchical way and very strict, but if the Alpha, or Luna, isn't fit to run the pack, there will be a change of leadership eventually. Either through rebellion or through some other way."
I realized that I had never really thought about these things before. Being brought up in this world, having an Alpha or a Luna deciding things was very natural for both of us.
"But what if the alpha is a bad person? What if you disagree? Take your alpha, for instance. He forces people to be together who don't want to, and then he prevents people who love each other from being together. How is that right? Like, how can he be fit to rule when he does things like that?"
Ouch. Ben stirred next to me, and I could sense she had hit a weak spot.
"I.. well, first of all, actually that changed about a week ago. But I.. " Ben sighed. "I agree. There is no excuse for that kind of behavior. Let's just say that he is in a different place now."
He was. I couldn't explain it, it was as if he had been in a positive spiral upward for the last couple of months that had now escalated, and he felt more powerful than he had felt in a long time. And subsequently, I did too. There were still things to sort out, but the pack would be better for it.
"You sound convincing, Connor; you do. I am just afraid I will lose control again. What if I stop my medication and I am not myself anymore? B has told me about the mate thing and how strong those bonds supposedly are, but what if your mate.. hurts you? What if it is a bad man and you are bound to him for life? I just... I can't.. do that again," she was almost sobbing now, I could tell. Something had struck inside her, and I felt powerless where I sat.
"Finding your mate is extremely powerful, or so I've heard, and it is supposedly the best thing that could ever happen to someone like us. We trust that the bond nature, or the Moon Goddess or whatever you choose to believe, is there for a reason, for it is meant to be. And also that it is what is best for us," his voice sounded thick. Perhaps it was a bit too close to home for him too. "No one will hurt you, Hild."
"Pinky swear?"
He chuckled.
"Pinky swear. Anyways, your father is too scary for anyone daring to do something to you."
He looked at me with a concerned face.
"Actually, I am calling on behalf of Beta Zac. Here he comes. Good night Hild."
"Oh, good night Connor."
I leaned over the phone.
"Good evening, Hild. This is Zac."
"Hello Zac, how are you?"
"I ...I am... I don't really know."
"Zac?" she said with a concerned voice. "Is something wrong?"
"You said that you were related to B, did I get that right?"
"Yes, it's a bizarre story to tell you the truth, but the short version is that apparently I am sister to B's father, and due to some reason that I don't know yet, we were moved to this continent together with a twin brother of mine. As I said the last time, I was placed in the human child care system as the threat seemed more directed towards me than my brothers and well, then life happened to me, and I kind of moved around since I was 18 years old. Apparently, my movements were towards this town that I now live in, and when B ran away from home, she also ran in this direction," she paused for a second. "I don't really like coincidences that are too big, but it seems she was meant to.. save me, and I was meant to save her in a way."
"What of the brothers?"
"I never knew them. One was B's father, and his job was to check up on my twin brother and me, which he apparently did every year and reported back to Jack. Then he fathered B, and he went crazy with paranoia if I understood it correctly. It is hard for B to talk about it, but he was sentenced to death in this pack."
We both gasped. There were not usually many crimes within packs, so to be sentenced to death must mean a severe crime.
She heard the gasps and said in an agreeing tone.
"Yes, very bad indeed. Anyway, I suppose he is dead by now. And as for my twin brother, no one knows where he is. If he still is alive even."
"But how did you find out you were related? Like how do you know this is true? It is a weird question, I know."
"No, no, it is fine. When Beorn, B's father, was executed, Jack felt something was wrong and sent Vidar to check it out. Vidar couldn't find Beorn and was then tasked with finding.. the twin girl. Me that is. And he traced me from my first entry into the child care system to the doorstep of my last address. Only, I wasn't there anymore, so he traced us to the motel where Tristan left us. And then one day at Patty's, when we celebrated my job, Jack approached me.. ok, I had a bit of a breakdown, and he came over and comforted me and told me I had a tattoo. I mean, I knew I had one, of course, but he couldn't have known. Ugh, I am not explaining this well," she exhaled sharply. "Long story. But when he said it, it just felt right. And I had felt overprotective about B, and that all made sense then too. She is my niece, after all."
She silenced.
"Oh, sorry for ranting, but I am not sure.. what was your question again?"
"No, I think you explained it all well. I think, I think I am the lost twin brother."
I went on to explain what had happened during the meeting and how I had just left.
"Wow. Oh, Zac. What a thing to be handled just like that. I am sorry. Jack is a sensitive person, but I think his joy of finding you clouded his judgment a bit. He should have taken a bit more consideration as to how you felt too. But I am... happy."
Her voice was soft and full of concern. I felt like crying.
"Thank you for understanding, and thanks for sharing. I think I just need to get used to the thought of having an.. additional family."
I could almost hear her smile on the other end of the line.
"Of course, Zac. Tell me, who is part of your family today?"
I glanced over at Ben, who had sat down in the chair again, eyeing me intently.
"My mother and father are dead, but I have an older brother."
"How nice; I have always wanted a big brother. In all the foster families I lived with, the kids were always younger than me. I was more of a nanny/sister than a sister that took care of her younger siblings."
"Well," I exhaled silently, hesitating on what to say. "..you have me, as a brother, I mean."
"Thanks, Zac. That means a lot to me," she paused for a second. "I feel whole in a way. Almost whole. I know that the wolf part is missing but now it is much better."
She laughed.
"That is good to hear. Well, I won't keep you any longer. It was good talking to you, Hild."
And with that, we said our goodbyes and hung up.
Ben looked at me with a hopeful face.
"Better?"
"Yes, I was thinking maybe I should go there. If you have concluded that Hild is not a threat, that is?" I gave him a smug smile.
He gave me an annoyed yet amused glance and shook his head.
"She seems innocent enough. When are you going?"
I shrugged.
"Maybe in a couple of days. Wanna come? We can have dinner?"
He shook his head and stood up.
"No. I will go with you, but just as a security measure. You should meet her alone the first time."
I smiled.
"Thanks, brother. "
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