"Don't settle because deep down,
you know who you are and
you know without a doubt that
you deserve better, if not the best."
-Aysayako, Tumblr

◇◇◇

Fearless Nikki...

Fearless Nikki...

Fearless Nikki was what I was currently repeating continuously in my head while I felt Randy's eyes on me.

I smiled internally as I always found it cute when I would see concern in his eyes. I mean it wasn't great that there was often a reason for concern but it just showed a brief shade of his vulnerability. Randy Orton portrayed a careless attitude and my Randal Keith Orton just wanted to cater to my every need.

"Just take it easy, I'm happy that you are cleared but you shouldn’t rush things" I heard him as I decided to do another rep and sometimes his caring nature had the ability to annoy me too.

"I'm not rushing anything, I'm just changing things up and trying to test my limits" I shrugged.

I was finally cleared and happiness was the first emotion but then it just opened the doorway to a whole rollercoaster of other emotions. Would I be able to keep up with all the new women that were on the roster? Would I really have a good storyline that would keep people interested? How bad would my ring rust be?

About a week after Randy returned I got the news that I was cleared. It felt like the domino effect if I put things into perspective. First it had been Colby, then John, then Randy and now it was me. It felt like the universe was sort of paying us back for putting all four of us on the injured list.

"I know but I don't think its good to push it that hard. Only I do that to you, Bella" he stood behind me and briefly kissed my cheek before stepping onto the treadmill to cool down.

We were in the Cena house gym because Randy and John would be working Summerslam so they wanted to fly out together as Brie and Aria would be attending as well. Due to Randy's fued with Brock I wanted to make sure I attended as I didn't want to be thousands of miles away in case anything happened. I mean I hoped nothing would but the fact that the man had ended the streak with Undertaker collapsing backstage just freaked me out.

At least in the weeks leading up to their match they had invaded eachother's brands and made it interesting which I liked because I saw how much fun Randy was having with it. I just hoped there would be no price to pay in the end because of the Beast's ego.

I narrowed my eyes at his innuendo before setting my weights down and stretches my arms so he could hopefully stop giving me the look.

"Well if you heard the news I did then you would be wanting to build up too" I smiled a bit as I had wanted to tell him earlier in the day but then I would have interrupted him spending time with Alanna, who was also spending the weekend with us.

"News?" He frowned and I moved to the front of the treadmill so I could stare up at him.

"Johnny called and told me I will be competing at Summerslam. I'm returning tomorrow!" I smiled brightly just like I had hours before when Johnny called to ask if I was mentally ready.

"Are you sure you are ready for that?" Was my fiance's first question instead of a huge smile meeting mine as he hugged me. I knew it was soon since it had been only a few weeks since I was cleared but I would have liked a congratulations before a lecture from my future husband.

I moved away from him to pick up my water bottle instead of glaring at him which I felt like doing if I was honest, "Are you serious right now, Orton? Its not like its a one-on-one match, its a tag match I will be in and they're missing a member. You'd think it was a blessing in disguise, I mean they could have found someone on the roster to fill in but Steph wanted me."

"And you're really running cause Steph picked you? Yes, I'm serious. You were cleared last month yes but that was just to gym. I don't want them rushing your return just because they're missing a spot" He shook his head and shut the treadmill off for dramatic effect before stepping off.

"I thought you would be a little more happy for me when I was on the sidelines while you and Colby basked in your successful returns. I hear enough of these lectures from my own doctor I just want to enjoy this. " I shook my head not needing him to knock me down when I had been patiently waiting to deliver the good news to him first.

"I'm not trying to rain on your parade, Nicole but I have friends who have been sent into retirement because of neck injuries. I don't want you pulling strings with Hunter to get you at Summerslam setting you back even longer" he wavered.

"And that’s not going to be me clearly, Randy. I just told you Hunter didn't pull anything, Johnny told Stephanie about my progress."

"We have been making this work for the last few months, just tell them you aren’t ready." He sighed with a weary look on his face.

"But I am, do you realize how amazing its going to feel for me to walk through that curtain at the biggest even of the summer? Its huge Randy and I am so excited and I thought you would be too or are you not ready to stop having me play trophy wife waiting patiently for your return?" I spat.

His jaw clenched at my words but I wasn't going to take them back because I was angry and hurt due to his lack of support, "That’s not fair. I'm just concerned that once you get that wrestling feeling again you will just ignore whatever pain you may have and we will end up back at square one or worse"

"I know you care but I am perfectly fine with taking care of myself. I have learnt from just shrugging it off last year, I want to be able to play with my dogs and Aria. I just want one last run before I shut it all down and start the rest of my life." I explained when I didn't have to but I wanted him to realize that I didn't care how soon it was. Its what I wanted and was looking forward to and returning at Summerslam just made it so much better.

"I understand that but the last thing you want to do is rush it and end up hurting yourself or anyone else in the ring. I know you hate it but sometimes you need to just have patience, Garcia"

I sighed, "Okay, Randy."

"Nicole..."

"No its okay, clearly we aren't going to be seeing eye to eye on this so let's just leave it. I need to go shower and get ready." I moved quickly out of the gym and headed to shower to rid my mind of the negative thoughts currently filling me due to everything he had pointed out.

"And that face?" Brie questioned as I entered her closet where she was busy setting out clothes for her and Aria. It was her first birthday today so we decided to have a small gathering before the flight out for Summerslam.

" I just told Randy that Johnny called to say I would be returning tomorrow" I shrugged and she squealed before hugging me.

"I'm so fucking happy for you, Nicole" she groaned before pulling away and that's the reaction I expected from him. "Its such short notice though. Do you even have gear? Or will you be sticking to the old one?"

I shook my head and smiled as the happiness that had been sucked out of me before resurfaced, "As soon as I knew I was cleared I sorted that out because I was way too excited, you know?"

"Wait so I don't understand, why are you walking in here like you just had a fight with Randy when you're making a comeback tomorrow?" She frowned and turned to face me again and set down the cute little outfit that I couldn't wait to see Aria in.

"Because I did just have a fight with that annoying snake" I huffed and sat down on a chair and loosened my hair.

"You guys hardly ever fight though. Especially since he returned."

"We haven't been here since he returned" I shrugged, "I just feel like he just constantly wants to push my buttons, especially with my return. Did I comment on him being away half a day to train every day before he returned?"

"Okay easy." She sighed. "What happened?"

"I told him my news and he didn't even seem happy. He just ruined my entire mood" I grumbled out as the first thing I had done when he told me was express how happy I was for him.

"What exactly did he say?" She questioned and I knew she was probably thinking that I was overreacting, its why I didn't like coming to my sister most times. She always assumed I was the one in the wrong and yes I had my faults but I didn't need to be annoyed by her too.

"He thinks its too soon and he feels I'm rushing it. I mean you'd think he would believe I am perfectly capable of returning. I have trained so hard everyday and just because he has been on the road and failed to see it doesn't mean I should be forced to sit back."

"Haven't you ever just blurted out something without thinking? He cares, Nicole. When you said you were returning the first thing he probably thought of was the possibility of you getting hurt again. Even I thought of it but well I didn't say it. He loves you, you know he only has the best intentions" She explained while staring into the mirror to start doing her make-up.

"I know he does but I just wanted more and I didn't get it. And he even had the audacity to bring up me pulling strings with Hunter when that wasn't the case at all" I shook my head.

"Honestly, I think this is just unnecessary tension and its Aria's birthday party so just find him and sort it out. You know he is happy for you and if you feel like you are capable of returning he will just have to accept it."

"Yes he will because he can't tell me what to do and I'm not going to find him now. I'm just going to get changed and then head down, Colby and April will be here soon" I stood up and headed into her room and she followed.

"Okay but you don't want him heading into a match, with Brock Lesnar, distracted" She smiled slightly with a raised eyebrow and I rolled my eyes.

"We'll be sorted by the end of the night, Brianna!"

●●●

"He is great so chances of me walking out could be slim but the fact that I have the opportunity is all that matters to me, you know?" Colby shrugged as we were talking about the fact that he would be going up against one of the NXT wrestlers that recently came up, Finn Balor, for the new Universal Championship.

That was another thing that had changed on the main roster, it was filled with new and younger talent. Especially in the case of the women and I would be teaming up with one of them tomorrow so I needed to make sure to watch some of their previous matches on the flight to Brooklyn.

"Its an amazing opportunity and I am so happy you got it. Especially after you were blindsided by Jon" I shrugged as he had let me know he had not known it would be ripped away from him so quickly.

"Yeah but if it was anyone I'm happy it was him. Not to toot our own horns but I think that's the great thing about the three of us, you know? We don't necessarily need a title to remain relevant, we just are." He explained and I nodded as that was certainly true. They were on top either way and that's how Randy was too, he was a veteran and one people just loved to get behind because he didn't care.

"The cake is here!" I heard John and smiled as Colby and I had strolled outside to the pool for a few minutes.

I wasn't going to go telling him how I felt let down by Randy's reaction because I knew it was something we would sort out soon. I had told the rest that I would be returning tomorrow though and enjoyed their reactions. They were all happy for me especially when Johnny had explained that I would be involved in a match showcasing the new talent with the veterans as well.

I felt Randy's arm wrap around me from behind and a kiss placed on my cheek as we sang happy birthday for our little blue eyed angel. I smiled back at him before focusing on the rest of my family...

"You don't come by anymore with Hunter." My Nana spoke as I sat beside her, I loved her so much and had hated the fact that I told white lies so I could spend time with Hunter.

"Well that was before I was on the road as champion and now a lot has changed." I smiled slightly as some memories briefly filled my mind. Hunter and I had shared a lot of good times there and I was thankful to my Nana for it whether she knew it or not.

"You have a different man who can train you" She smiled and glanced over at Randy who handed Alanna a piece of cake before sitting beside her and eating of his.

"Oh if that man trained me I wouldn't be ready for the ring at all" I giggled with an eye roll but couldn't help but smile. Yes he could be annoying but that wouldn't be the reason I wouldn't be trained. He was a huge distraction and he couldn't be tough on me, not for the duration of a training session anyway. I only saw him completely flip on me when he was extremely hurt and I never ever wanted him to feel that way again. "Way too much distraction.."

She laughed before pulling my hand into hers and staring at the diamond draping my finger, "have you found your dress yet?"

"Yeah. I mean I have found it online, I'm just waiting for everyone to have time so we can all meet up and make it a girls day including you, Nana" I winked.

"I'm happy that you are making it all work. You deserve the best and that's what you are giving yourself by marrying him and taking back what the injury stole from you"

"When you're surrounded by strong women you know how to go after what you deserve. And I'm just happy to have finally realized what that is for me" I shrugged and my mom soon joined us as well.

"Can I be front row tomorrow for Coco's match?" I heard Ally question Randy and glanced over at them while my mom and Nana were discussing Aria having smashed her little cake half hour before.

He caught my gaze as he seemed to be thinking and I smiled slightly while he winked at me before focusing on his daughter. I could never stay mad at him, I guess that's why I chose to run. Yes I was scared but I guess I knew I wouldn't be able to stand my ground or so easily be stubborn with his gaze on me. Its how I ended up in bed with the guy when he was still a stranger to me outside of work.

"That's a question you should ask Gato. If she's going to be front row then you can join her" I heard him as I stood up and headed towards the kitchen island.

I threw myself a glass of champion and walked outside mostly because the sun was setting and I wanted to bask in it a bit. I felt someone's presence as I stood and watched it but didn't turn around and saw Randy beside me.

I turned to face him, "The real question should be if you're going to allow your daughter to watch you face a Beast"

He searched my eyes and I knew it was to get a sense of which Nicole was showing up after what had gone on earlier in the day. Its not like we had made it obvious, he was his usual affectionate self and I welcomed it because I was weak for him. But we knew we had to 'communicate' even over a little disagreement.

"I really dislike how your voice sounds whenever you bring him up. I am the predator, my presence should intimidate you" He smirked and I rolled my eyes and sipped some more of my champagne.

He cleared his throat and glanced inside to make sure no one would disturb us I assumed before speaking, "I'm sorry for how I reacted when you told me about your match. I just pictured it maybe being later, like Survivor Series. Not a few weeks after and its not because I think you aren't mentally ready. I know how fearless you are, I just don't want you rushing into something without thinking it through"

"And when have I ever done that?" I scoffed with a small smile but played with the collar of his shirt as I spoke, "You know I overthink so much and I feel confident about this, as soon as Johnny told me I felt excited. I tried to push down all the Negative Nikki thoughts and just try and get into fearless mode. I sit at home and all I see is all the things happening in our industry right now. I miss the business and I miss you. I know I changed my mind about..."

"I understand that, Garcia. I waited so long for you to be mine, do you think I wouldn't wait until you are ready for all the other steps? If I didn't have patience before you I certainly adapted it while chasing after you" he mused and I narrowed my eyes but leaned up and briefly kissed him.

"I love you, Orton. I know that your insane love for me will make you overbearing but I already have Brie for that." I winked and he chuckled but wrapped his arm around me and gently rubbed his fingertips on the exposed parts of my dress.

"Mmm I think she has her hands full with Aria so someone has to take over. I will be your biggest cheerleader tomorrow, Nicole. I don't want you to ever feel like I'm not the biggest supporter in your life. I will be waiting for you at the gorilla like the proud soon-to-be husband." He smiled brightly as he finished off.

"Oh don't remind me about all that still needs to be done to make that happen" I groaned with a small pout but deep down my heart swelled as I just wanted him to be happy. I loved that he worried but I also loved him trusting me even more.

"We still have a few months to sort it all out" He shrugged.

"Says a typical man. But you're right, let's just enjoy this time before I am overcome with nerves because, you know, I'm making my comeback tomorrow" I shrugged and he tightened his arm around my waist which caused me to be close to him just how I liked it.

"I love how your eyes look in the sunset" He randomly stated before nudging his nose over mine.

"Only in the sunset?" I teased before giving him a quick peck.

"Nah, everyday but the sunset does add some character" he mused while I simply shook my head and hugged him tightly while staring in on my family and close friends enjoying themselves.

I loved the rush of the road life but nothing could replace just the simple moments spent with them and especially the man I would be holding onto for the rest of my life.