"Maybe it's the way you say,
I love you.
Not as an excuse but like it's the
only poem you know by heart."
Leah Stone

♕♕♕

I smiled as I gazed over the finally complete baby room for our little girl that had seemed to take forever as I tried figuring out how to make it absolutely perfect. It still wasn't but I accepted the fact that it was officially done because I knew it would only be perfect once she found her place in it.

"Hey, I was looking for you" John smiled as he leaned into the doorway.

"You do know I'm always in here right?" I rolled my eyes slightly ashamed but mostly not, I was obsessed with my little girl and she hadn't even been born yet.

"Yeah, which isn't a bad thing but we will be living here in a couple months so how about we head out to the pool or just sit on the back porch before I fly out tonight?" He took my hand and helped me to my feet and enclosed his hand around mine as we vacated the little sanctuary.

I couldn't believe that in less than two months I would be holding my little girl with John Cena by my side nonetheless. When I had first begun dating him my mother had been weary due to his insane lifestyle thinking it would be too much for him to settle down but he sure set our thoughts wrong by popping the question in less than six months. Saying yes had been so easy and every time I stared into his blue eyes accompanied by his dimpled- smile I knew there was no mistake.

"Oh John, I really can't believe that we'll be three soon!" I groaned and he chuckled kissing the side of my head.

"We have always been three though" he smirked.

"I love how you make Nicole out to be the third wheel when she isn't even here." I narrowed my eyes and he shrugged handing me some orange juice.

"Its better when she's not around to twist my ears, for a woman wanting to be taken seriously I don't think that's the best way to go" He shook his head while I couldn't wait till I would see her next month, her schedule was insane lately and I missed her a lot. We facetimed most days but I could see she was stressed about things, what I never knew lately.

"Mmm at least its not hitting you where it hurts" I pat his thigh and he cringed at the thought.

"No I'm sure she wants plenty of nieces and nephews" he sighed with a smile briefly glancing at my insane belly.

"You went from not even planning on having our little girl to planning more? I must have you smitten huh?" I nudged him and he chuckled while I placed gentle kisses on his cheek.

"Pretty much yeah but I have enjoyed seeing you pregnant, speaking to you, facetiming and feeling her kick. I mean it was easier when I didn't have it right here and now I can't wait to feel it all again."

"Neither can I. But let's first get this one out of me, besides I want some nieces and nephews too." I pouted while my brother had his little girl I couldn't wait for Nicole to be able to understand the magical experience of motherhood.

"You think Randy and Nicole would have kids?" He frowned slightly.

"Sure, why not?" I questioned a bit surprised by his face.

"I don't see Randy getting down on one knee again, Brianna." He stated staring at me, his voice containing seriousness that I'm sure would have crushed my sister's heart if she had been part of the conversation.

"I'm sure you didn't see him being madly in love with my sister either but they are. He has her name tattooed on his arm." I shrugged as a sort of proof that he was in it for forever, I mean Samantha's name hadn't allowed it to last but my sister really loved him and she had made him change for the better.

"What?" He sat forward.

"How have you not seen it?" I giggled slightly having thought he had probably been along for the crazy gesture.

"I don't inspect my best friend's body" he chuckled. "Are you sure?"

"Yup, right over Samantha's name or where it used to be." I sighed feeling kinda better as I sort of won a victory, John always tended to be right and me being me always wanting to be the same would lead to loads of petty fights. But one fight I wouldn't wanna lose was my sister's happiness being at stake.

"Wow."

"Yeah so I'm sure he'll be popping the question soon, the one side of me believes its that he wants the baby to pop out so it won't steal her shine." I reasoned when I wouldn't have really minded but my sister would probably be annoyed.

"He went through a lot with Sammy, I don't see marriage in him again." He continued when I thought I had made him see things my way.

"Didn't you feel the same way?" I smiled.

"Yeah but we should first give them time to date before that."

"Like you waited?"

"We're different."

I sighed, "I know you're more steady in your mind but Randy as odd as he is can love unconditionally. I see it everytime when they're in the same room and she loves him too. And he knows what he has gotten himself into, with Samantha they basically grew up from kids so they transformed into different people but he and Nicole are adults who can get through it better"

◇◇◇◇

"Hey" I heard Randy as I exited the bathroom dressed for my segment which would be up in the next half hour.

"Hey" I mumbled and he sighed as I hadn't really seen him since Colby's birthday and while the night was pretty vague I knew what we had spoken about and I just needed some space. So I hadn't picking up any of his calls or even bothered returning them.

"So I'm assuming this feud with Stephanie is heading fullswing tonight?" He questioned when I knew he wasn't too thrilled about it but of course would try and be supportive. I loved how sincere he was to my needs but I would have liked him not avoiding something weighing heavier on my mind than a storyline with Stephanie.

"I haven't really been alerted but I guess so, I should head to.."

"Nicole."

"Randal." I turned away from the door and he slowly made his way to me like the predator that he was, slowly not to scare me away but just connecting his eyes to mine to ensure I didn't move a muscle and that he had all my attention.

"You've been avoiding me I thought we were finally in a good place and then you head out to celebrate Colby's birthday and come back asking me questions I'm not sure how to answer and it pisses you off."

"Randy what do you expect? Do you really want to speak about this right now?" I sighed, running a hand through my hair as he nodded his head.

"Yes I do because to me it seems that if I don't corner you at work I won't get anything out of you. Your enemies are out there, not here I am the man who loves you and would literally serve my body on a fucking platter just to protect you. I know the woman you are, you hate weakness but I love it when you choose to show me that soft Nicole, because I love you." He breath seeming annoyed and slightly frustrated.

"Now why can't you be the same with me? You can't expect me to be a certain way when you are never vulnerable with anything except your love for me. I don't know how you truly feel not having the people who have been in your life since you popped up in this business. All I get is I have you and that's all that matters." I raised my voice slightly allowing him to hear my frustration.

"Because it is!"

"You're fucking lying to yourself. You know what Alanna asked me? When is Uncle Hunter taking me out with Aurora again? And I couldn't answer because its my fault that there is this barrier between the two of you. And I hate that I caused this disruption, yes he hurt me, yes things happened where I was treated unfairly. But its all over now and I'm finally at a place at work where I feel at peace and I'm so close to being fully certain with you but I can't be if I see that there's a part of you, you are hiding. Deep down you know you miss him, Randy and..."

"Its his fault."

"Its his fault because he fucked me while he knew you wanted me. Randy we fucked for two years and you didn't even realize you wanted me so how could he have known." I reasoned as while Randy's infatuation for me had existed for who knows how long in the end I had already been with Hunter before any obsession began.

"He shouldn't have known because he shouldn't have been fucking his employee and cheating on his wife. I looked up to that man since I got into this business, was ashamed to tell him about the divorce with Sammy because he was with Steph for so long. And then he goes and makes a mistake. And I.." He sighed shaking his head as he cut himself off.

"Don't look at me like that, I want this Randy I want you to be angry and express everything I want you to open up to me. I keep telling you this because if I don't help you through your emotions then what am I here for in your life. You have provided everything I thought I didn't deserve from any guy and I have done literally nothing. And I keep saying this because it honestly plays on my mind." I confessed, a relationship was meant to be equal and he had loads of my baggage in his closet when I had none.

"I don't need you to be my fucking therapist, Nicole." He sighed as his eyes met mine with his voice softening, realizing where I was coming from. I hadn't wanted the vulnerability to be evident in my voice but he was amazing and I just wanted to know I served some greater purpose in his life than him loving me because how did I know love was enough? He married Sammy out of love but love faded...

"Then what do you need me for?" I whispered staring at him and he moved towards me breathing in deeply before resting his hands on my sides.

"I just need you to be here, I have chased you for a long time. I just need to know that I have you, that you belong to me and no one else. I don't want you to do anything for me because even if you don't realize it you help me every fucking day but when you don't answer my calls I go fucking crazy baby. Fuck.." He rested his forehead against mine and I smiled slightly hearing the need in his voice.

"I'm sorry, you know I'm stubborn" I mumbled into his chest as I hugged him and told myself this wasn't the best time to point blank question him but I knew myself and it would only lead to me constantly overthinking things unnecessarily and that was not what either of us needed. We needed to build our relationship, not get into petty fights, I mean its what we thrived on but I loved our cute moments more and more.

"One of the reasons I love you" he kissed the side of my head and I leaned back and traced over his stubble.

"What is it?"

"I just.. I just don't know why I haven't met Samantha yet. I mean maybe I'm not the best role model for Alanna but you love me, so I thought maybe you'd be proud to show me off. Your family knows me thanks to Brena so you kinda have no excuse there but she's never been at any functions. I just feel like you have gone out of your way to ensure that we never cross paths. You say you love all of me and that my reckless decisions are forgiven, that I'm yours forever but I haven't met the mother of Alanna." I huffed feeling the weight become lighter simply by being straightforward with a sober mind.

"I wouldn't say you haven't met her, I'm sure you saw her backstage here and there before and.."

"Randy" I whined and he sighed.

"Nicole its got nothing to do with you. Samantha and I went through some rough stuff and I just don't want you two meeting and her saying something that makes you overthink things." He shrugged which led to me frowning.

"You never cheated on her, that I know and even if you did I wouldn't be in a good position to judge. What could she possibly tell me? You were distant? You have a temper? You have possessive tendencies? Randy I fucking know you. I fucking hated you, got annoyed with you countless times and here I am in love with you. What are you scared of?"

It would have been different if I hadn't known the man that Randy Orton was but I knew him, the only things I didn't know were what he had expressed to me in the last year, the soft loving side, smitten side, in love side.

"I don't know, loving you is the one thing that makes me vulnerable. You say I should open up but you're the only soft thing about me, I couldn't open up to her, be the man she knew and with you I have spent a year confessing every desire when it comes to you. And I won't ever stop"

"I've always known I'm your weakness." I smiled and briefly kissed his lips, " Are you sure its not me?"

"Pretty sure, Bella. You're perfection in my eyes, every fucking inch of you. If you want to meet Samantha we can the next time I pick up Alanna, I just.. I get in my head sometimes but as long as you're still loving me after, I'm good." He smiled and leaned forward grazing his lips over mine but I quickly stopped him.

"I'm going on right now, can't ruin my make-up."

"Fuuuuuck" he groaned into my neck before letting me go. "I'll see you after Bella."

I smiled as I picked up my title and headed towards the gorilla hearing my music playing and made my way down the ramp. I wouldn't be fighting tonight but rather initiating my feud with Stephanie as she would interrupt me and we'd share a few words, the usual. While apart of me was excited about it the other just wanted it to be over and done with.

There was no way I could break all ties with these people when my dreams involved being under their employment but being on screen I didn't want to be close to Hunter or her. I smiled at the cheers before being handed the mic and taking my place at the center of the ring.

"So tonight I am over here to express how I feel and tonight I am sick. Sick. I'm honestly so sick of going through the same opponents and now I was tossed into a tag team match. I mean I love Paige but it honestly feels like this roster has become a bit mundane if you ask me. I am the Diva's Champion, the longest reigning active champion in the company at the moment and I deserve so much better than constant repeats. Bring me someone from NXT or something because its starting to get boring on my throne I..." I heard Stephanie's music blasting right on cue and rolled my eyes as I saw her make her way down.

"Nikki Nikki Nikki.. You know where my office is I'm sure it would be better if we discussed things behind closed doors but yet you decide to entertain these people who claim to love you so much when we all know its only cause they're hoping Randy Orton will come racing out in aid of you" She sighed as she entered the ring.

"Randy Orton has his own issues with your lapdog Seth Rollins so why don't we stop talking about things irrelevant to my championship. Honestly Stephanie if you just came out here to give me directions to your office well then all due respect you might as well turn around. Besides, I don't trust any of your intentions so I'll stay here and complain until Vince comes out and gives me the opponents I deserve." I glanced past her towards the stage but she moved in front of me to ensure I was focused on her. I knew I had to remain confident because while Randy respected my decision if he saw any real emotion I was afraid he would come out and ruin what we were trying to do.

"Well that's where you are mistaken, despite our rough patch I happen to admire your work ethic. I mean you have Brie building a life at home with the star of the show yet all you have to look forward to is being champion which is a huge honour, don't get me wrong. But it certainly isn't a bundle of joy, so John Cena is US Champion and Brie Bella is married and pregnant while Nikki Bella's boyfriend just can't seem to catch a break with the championship and she's looking for better opponents. Well maybe Nikki we have been giving you repeats because we knew how fragile you are!"

"Fragile?" I frowned trying to ignore all the personal blows when I was more than happy for my sister, those were the only shots anyone could really take about me I suppose so I was used to it by now. I mean even Brie had used the marriage card on me..

"Yes fragile, at this moment you don't have Randy Orton being a watchful eye, no brother-in-law, no twin sister. Because Nikki Bella is a big girl now who can fight her battles on her own right?" She made a childish voice which caused my jaw to clench as I stared at her. I knew the starting off to the segment but clearly she wasn't going to be taking the high road.

"Right. And I don't..." I felt a knock to my head and immediately fell forward. I frowned turning to see Eva Marie above me but quickly kicked her as she tried gripping my hair.

I wasn't sure why I believed this would be different, why I wouldn't be fucked over by her when she clearly resented me.

"You bitch!" I screeched as I punched her which caused her to fall back but felt the anger and betrayal of having seen her with Randy before filling my mind. But before I could get to my feet to move to her I felt the cool steel of my championship hit my face hard.

I groaned as the pain surged through my head before hearing the ringing of Stephanie's voice. "Now see I don't think Eva has gotten a title shot yet, have you Eva?"

"No I haven't." Eva's voice joined hers loudly as they stood above while confusion filled me as to where she even came from when I thought she was suspended for some reason unknown to me.

"So next week it will be Eva Marie vs Nikki Bella and if Eva Marie wins she will be your opponent at the next PPV." I heard Stephanie's music blast as I watched them vacate the ring through my hair before a referee checked on me. So much for putting it all aside and working together...

▼▼▼

"What the hell was that?" I questioned Stephanie as soon as she walked into the office when I hadn't even known she was in the building.

"Excuse me?" She narrowed her eyes due to my tone but I couldn't take my glare away.

"Stephanie, what were you doing out there with Nikki?" I questioned to be more clear with her as while most of the time I would be the one following her orders I always knew whatever would be going down at any show. Especially when it involved my wife but this I hadn't known about at all.

"I thought it would be obvious, we're in a feud." She shrugged.

"You had a feud" I sighed as I stood up watching a repeat of Nikki being attacked by Eva Marie who I also hadn't known was in the building.

"Not really, that feud was fueled by testosterone" She shook her head not seeming affected by the fact that she hadn't bothered to tell me when the idea of igniting the feud came to light.

"Only because you ordered Colby to attack her every time." I blurted out which received her attention.

"Why do you care?" She frowned folding her arms as she walked towards me.

She knew she had been wrong in not sharing the storyline with me but I knew it would be twisted on me, its why I had been relieved when Wrestlemania had been put behind us. When I could separate the two again and not be concerned about what would happen if one of them went too far or let anger consume them. Or if Nikki accidentally let it slip that it wasn't one night. "Because you told me you were done with her"

"Are you done with her?" She countered.

"What?" I questioned when I knew she couldn't have known about the night of Colby's birthday bash. Not that I had done anything wrong I had gone with the intention of checking if everything was in order only to stumble upon Nicole clearly out of it. She couldn't remember her room number and I didn't feel like bothering reception in the early hours so I let her stay with me for a couple of hours.

It had been nice, nothing happened in regards of crossing any lines but I had missed her company whether she would believe me or not. Even though she was drunk, she had gotten to the drunk phase where she would just lay on my chest and stare at the ceiling and talk. And I loved listening to her because I hardly ever really had...

"You seem to be concerned about the wellbeing of Nikki in this case."

I sighed focusing on her, "I am done with Nicole, I just don't understand what is happening and why I was left completely out of the loop with this"

"Not every storyline needs to run by you. I gave it to my dad and he thought it would be good" She stated.

"That's only because he doesn't know" I whispered running my hands over my face.

"Doesn't know that my husband fucked Nikki Bella." She stated bluntly enough to allow my eyes to focus on her

"Steph, I've watched you lose your temper before out there, calling her a whore and..."

"Which she is, who else sleeps with a married man who has three daughters?"

"Why does this have to be dragged out?" I groaned as there was no point in trying to make her see things my way at this point.

"This feud has nothing to do with you. I want something creatively different and that's what this is going to give me."

"I just don't want this to continue haunting us." I shook my head not needing to be conflicted with wanting to support my wife but seeing Nicole continuing to be blindsided and hurt when we had ended things to prevent all of that from happening.

"I am grown enough to handle this, its not haunting you because you're never going to be there, sharing the ring with us, its about me and Nikki."

"There shouldn't be a you and Nikki, Steph. Its just unnecessary and a risk." I rambled knowing it was pointless.

"Hunter, my decision is final and if you keep arguing with me I'm going to start questioning whether my husband is telling me the truth or not."

♡♡♡♡♡

Omgooosh guys its been years!!! I'm honestly so sorry but hope you enjoyed this update!!
Can't wait to see the feedback because I have really missed it and this story!!