"Don't let what he wants
eclipse what you need.
He's very dreamy, but he's not the sun.
You are."
⌒Christina Yang, Grey's Anatomy⌒

♞♞♞

"I'm pretty sure you just took me out because you're lonely without April" Nicole smiled as we made our way down the street having pitched up outside her hotel room door and being greeted by Randy Orton himself made me regret my decision of not calling her.

However, despite not showing me any less of the fact that he hated my guts he had called her before disappearing into the bathroom letting me know something had gone on to make him at least tolerate me. Even after we were currently continuing our feud and I had screwed him over at Extreme Rules.  I mean in all honesty I hadn't exactly done anything to ease his thoughts with provoking him but I figured it was all fun and games when he knew I had April.

"Maybe and maybe I have missed your company, you're always cooped up with the boyfriend, makes me actually miss single Nikki. She used to hog all of my time" There was no lie towards it when we had basically shared a locker room or I would just hog the female talent locker room listen to the woman whine until the twins reluctantly tagged along with me to keep me company in the cafeteria.

"Not all, I hadn't even realized you and April were dating. Let's face it, we're adults and we're actually not fucking up our lives anymore so that leaves less time to complaining and downing beers and sulking about it."

"Expensive wine in your case" I nudged her and she giggled as I opened the door entering the cafe and finding seats.

"I do prefer the finer things in life" She stated dramatically.

"Well remind me why you're with Orton then?"

"Colby!" She hit my arm as we sat down and I chuckled loudly before we ordered.

"Let me guess I picked the right day to treat you to breakfast" I smirked looking where her eyes had landed on the menu.

"You certainly did Mr Lopez! Cheat day is here, I'm not scheduled for any match on Raw tonight but of course I am still forced to go as the champion must always be in attendance. But less pressure to look flawless"

"Don't I know it" I sighed and she smiled and despite the quick make-up job she had done in the gym bathroom it was clear she wasn't sleeping much.

I mean all of us tended to be drained thanks to our jobs but us being champions led to our duties being extended to various interviews and extra appearances. I knew hers was mostly done accompanying the brother-in-law John Cena who was currently US Champion but also alone and I knew she hated travelling on her own. And having seen her schedule it was mostly far from home while I was sure even I had paid Brie more visits than her. Let's just say you could definitely tell the difference between them if you couldn't before.

"I heard rumours that Stephanie is back in town" She said after some silence reminding me of the awkward backstage moment back at Mania.

"Not rumours, I flew in with them this morning. My thing is if you're still sitting in front of me as champion you're doing okay because after what happened that night" I cringed slightly as while we had hung out after Mania I had avoided the elephant in the room which was Stephanie letting Nicole know she knew.

I wasn't sure what possessed her. I guess us losing to them really got to her but had she been any louder then Nicole would have surely been fired by Vince then and there, after having an amazing match with the guy she wanted by her side.

"They have me trapped, my days are numbered"

"You sound like we're in a fucking mafia movie" I chuckled and she giggled.

"Well The Authority might as well be if we're being honest."

"That is true, I'm like their personal hitman but I'm happy our feud is over I mean I admit I enjoyed working with you but getting into physical battles with you almost made me lose my character out there" I frowned as it was hard keeping track of what I had to portray when my job was basically to punish a woman who was so close to me.

"Yeah I mean I didn't mind them but between you and Randy it was quite stressful. The one is fighting with himself internally while the other wants to kill you." She smiled and I rolled my eyes.

"As if he needed an actual reason" I scoffed and smiled as my breakfast fit for a soon to be King was set in front of me.

"Some people just don't like you, can't force everyone"

"So I forced you into being my best friend?"

"I mean basically, you were pouting like a lost puppy whenever Brie and I walked past you we had to take pity in and make you part of the Bella family" she shrugged.

"I would say that wasn't true but it absolutely was, and now here we are inseparable except by our insane schedules" I rolled my eyes dramatically.

"At least your brothers are back in swing sort of."

"Sort of" I scoffed, "I'm still getting hell for my Wrestlemania stunt"

"That was brave, cashing in with the Beast in the mix? I was silently saying my goodbyes to our friendship." She cringed before sipping her coffee.

"It ain't my fault though, I was watching the match cause Hunter said we should watch at the gorilla, next thing I know they're telling me to head out and I'm like okay" I raised my hands up defensively.

"I did love it though, I was honestly like a proud big sis I mean I was one of the first people to hug you but I'm sure it was a blur."

"It really was, I'm just happy April got to see it you know? I've never really had that feeling of someone you're in love with waiting for you at the gorilla and as soon as you make your way through the curtain they have their eyes on you looking so proud. I mean I used to see it with Brie and John and it was awesome seeing it but experiencing it ain't like any other." I shook my head and realized I couldn't wait to get home to AJ after leaving her last night.

"Awww yes I admit it is an awesome feeling." She gushed.

"Do you think your boyfriend will ever stop wanting to kill me?"

"Maybe. That is Randy Orton I guess, it wouldn't be him if he didn't want to bash someone's head in" She sighed and I leaned in, setting my fork down as she seemed to be thinking.

"You okay there, Nikki?"

"What do you mean?"

"Yeah its just, I've never had someone care so much about me you know? Like genuinely care so much they'd want to kill someone I mean 50% of his motive is that you're the poster boy but the other 50 is me. I'm never first choice, I'm never the one that guys would die for because I'm a bitch and I'm difficult and I'm clingy and I'm so needy. And I can be overly dramatic because most of the time I know what I want but with him for the first time its like I don't feel the need to be so clingy. At work I get my job done and then I'm with him, because I know he is mine and he isn't cheating and he loves me so why on earth would I feel like I need to fight for it. I'm so secure in what I have with him and its a weird but satisfying feeling, I'm just scared that I won't love that feeling for long" She huffed and sat back.

"Nicole, as much as I hate to say it we both know its been a fucking long way for you to finally 'fess up that you want that snake. Now while I know its hard that he happens to hate your favourite person, that is no reason to want to go running for the hills" I narrowed my eyes playfully and she giggled.

"I'm serious, Cooooolby" She whined and briefly ran her hand through her hair.

"I know you are, I'm just trying to make you realize how silly the shit is. Fact is, you have no reason to be concerned so your brain does that annoying thing where it over analyzes and tries to screw you over. While Randy is a fucking saint with regards to loving you, there is nothing boring about the guy if that's what you're afraid of. You're both intense so why would you lose the spark?" I knew she had spoken to Hunter at the ppv considering the fact that I had seen him walk out of the room she had after I had bumped into her. I wasn't going to go confront him because I honestly didn't feel like being involved any longer but hoped there wasn't any rekindling happening because she didn't need more drama in her life.

"I don't know because he is different. I'm used to basically being on my own in a relationship, with Nick he didn't have a need to care with 'you know who' I was his confidant and with Randy he cares more about me than him but now its like he can't hide how he feels anymore with things not regarding me. And now its an equal relationship where I want to be the person that is able to help pull him from what's going on inside with his voices but how can I if every fucking thing going wrong in his life is because of my mistakes?"

"Just fucking talk to the guy. I keep telling you that, its not like with the others, he is probably dying for you to be vulnerable enough to call him out on shit and not when its too late. That guy has a fucked up mind and I know cause I received a fucking beating because of him losing control when it wasn't even scheduled. And I do not need him losing his temper on top of hating my guts so please don't piss him off before tonight"

She rolled her eyes and sighed, "I won't be seeing him until next week so the last thing I won't is our last time together before separating is me forcing things out of him or making him angry at me. But I get it, I'll try to be more communicative I guess."

"Yeah you'll be surprised how easy it makes your life" I winked and she smiled before finishing off her desert for breakfast.

◇◇◇

"Girl, where you heading?" I heard Trinity and saw her walking with Natalya.

I smiled and hugged them, "back to my room"

"No lunch?"

"Nope, need sometime with my man." I smiled glancing towards the door with Randy behind it.

"Here I thought it was all just an act."

"Seems you finally put the poor guy out of his misery" Trinity smiled and I nodded realizing our relationship wasn't exactly public which wasn't a bad thing I just knew Randy wanted the world to know.

"Well I'm happy you're doing good but don't forget about your girls" she hugged me and I shook my head.

"I definitely won't, I need a good night out but let me go and satisfy Randy first" I teased before heading towards the door knowing I would probably end up having many crazy nights in the tour ahead.

"Hey, I thought you'd be ready to leave for the arena" I frowned seeing Randy lying in bed where I had left him after going to breakfast with Colby which had turned into him helping me carry my bags as I did some retail therapy.

Mostly because I was sick of voicing my annoying thoughts because I just felt sick with everything. It had been a couple of weeks since Extreme Rules and with no tension backstage mostly because there was no Stephanie and now she would be back and I would really have to be on my fucking toes.

"Nah I'll only be in the main event so I'll be chilling here till then. There ain't no point in going over there to sit on my own." He shrugged focusing on something on the TV as I set my bags down.

"You could socialize, I mean John will be there or does his championship intimidate you?" I smiled as I kicked off my shoes and rested my body beside his, turning on my side so I could stare at him.

I recalled how proud Brie had been with John being US Champion and while it had been a bit of a bruise to Randy who had wanted to walk into the house holding championship as well I had soothed the burn by destroying my poor sister's bed in her guest room.

"Funny. Nah, you know he is always pulled in a million different directions and its not like my professional girlfriend will be keeping me company" He smirked stretching out his arm to move me so that my head rested on his chest.

"You know we'll only be seeing each other at TV soon so I doubt I'll be able to be strictly professional for most of the time." The fact that we weren't exactly a confirmed relationship made me wonder if his ex-wife even knew about me. I mean sure Alanna could have spoken about me but perhaps she thought it was her hoping I would be with her dad. While Randy wanted to claim me to the rest of the locker room all I wanted was to have approval from a woman I had never actually met or had a conversation with.

"Mmmm you get your schedule?" He mumbled into my hair as his fingers traced over my shoulder and I closed my eyes as it felt like it had been an eternity since I got some good sleep.

"Yeah, I'm booked for all live events and I have quite a few TV appearances while you have like one show a week? And I think we're on separate tours for most of them. So much for having each other at work." I turned my head and stared up at him.

"I'd be more worried about working all those shows, are you really on all of them?" He questioned, shutting off the TV so his attention could fully be on me.

"Yeah I have Sundays off and then its basically a fly day so I guess we'll have Monday mornings before the show together and of course Tuesdays. And in most I'll either be ringside cheering on whoever or guest referee, clearly the champion is needed I guess." I yawned and squeezed him and he chuckled.

"I could get used to tired Nicole, she is much more tamed."

"I'm much more tamed? You're the one whose a handful" I shook my head before kissing him. "You and your blue eyes filled with anger over stupid things that causes my crazy side to be unleashed"

He chuckled, "I think I deserve my fair share of petty anger, Bella. We've been through a lot"

"We certainly have. Hopefully that's not the part that makes you stick around though"

"What do you mean?"

I sat up and he lift himself as well, "I mean that you've tried so hard to get me that even if you don't want me you'll force yourself to stick around."

"I don't force myself to stick around anywhere, Garcia. We both know that, are you having second thoughts about me, I know what room Colby is staying in so I can go kill him right now" He mused and lift me onto his lap.

"No!" I giggled.

"Mmmm what are you going to do to stop me?"

"I'm starting to think you had a porno on before this? " I raised my eyebrow and grinded myself onto him.

"Nah, you get me going Bella" he whispered as his hands trailed up my thighs. "So even if I didn't want you, your body would still be getting to me."

"I always knew you loved my body more" I smiled and nudged my nose over his and he flipped me over as I laughed loudly due to the surprised while he slipped off my pants.

"I'm thinking more of 50/50, baby" he mumbled into my inner thigh before trailing kisses up my abdomen and all over my body until he found my neck.

"You can have all your little scenarios in your head but I ain't leaving you. And after I'm done with you, no other man will be able to have you"

◇◇◇

"And the un-professionalism begins.." Randy smirked as he pulled my hand into his and placed a kiss onto my lips as we entered the arena.

"Don't do that" I half moaned into his lips and he raised his eyebrow slightly.

"Kiss you?"

"Yeah" I smiled and kissed him again hearing a wolf whistle in the distance and realized it was Paige which made me giggle as she drifted past.

"See, whoever said my methods of cheering you up weren't good was wrong. If its not dirty jokes, its fucking you until it hurts so good you know I ain't thinking about leaving you" he whispered into my ear.

"You really should consider being more modest" I sighed.

"Like you?"

I frowned and his eyes gazed down to my cleavage and then a glare at the surrounding people.

"You're so jealous its insane" I giggled but hugged him and stared up at him. "So what are you going to do?"

"Find John and annoy him for a bit, remind him how he always told me being a dad should be easy while he'll learn it isn't" He stated with a small smirk reminding me of my thoughts regarding his ex-wife which he had erased an hour before.

"I'm sure it will be though, he has my sister. And you guys are hardly home, the mothers do most of the work" I smiled with a small shrug.

"I tried to be home as much as I could" he whispered.

"I didn't mean it in a bad way, Randy. You and Samantha clearly got it right cause look how amazing Ally is." I pointed out. "Uhm I was thinking next week I'll be in Missouri and well you won't, do you think Samantha will mind me dropping by and picking Ally up for the day?"

I felt him tense slightly and knew I shouldn't have but one I really did miss Alanna and two I wanted to get a grasp of who was the problem. Did she really disapprove of me?

"Ally doesn't mind waiting to see us" He shrugged, wrapping his arms around me.

"I know but I'll be in the area and have a few hours off." I added. "Unless there's a problem with that?"

"I just think you should wait till we're both off, I can pick her up and..."

"Okay" I nodded and placed a kiss on his lips. "I have to go, I have a wish to grant and I'm ten minutes late so..."

"She won't mind waiting, Bella" he pulled me into a consolation hug considering it was clear he didn't want me going all by myself. I moved away from him and he walked on and I basically remained at the exit considering I had no wish. I gazed down at my cleavage and sighed lifting up my dress a bit and wondered if I should have considered more appropriate attire...

I heard a worker referring to McMahon and realized Stephanie was making her way past me. Of course just my luck I would have to be pushed lower.

My eyes briefly fell on her waiting to feel anger at her treatment, hatred for her blaming me but all I felt was the guilt. The saddening feeling of me having been what hurt me so much when I was with Nick, the mistress. She didn't know the extent of our relationship but I guess she didn't, the first time had been enough for me to lose the trust and I was sure it was for her. Yet she was probably trying to rebuild it now because the love was there.

And luckily for her he loved her greatly too...

I wanted to be some role model for a little girl when I was everything she shouldn't have wanted to be in life and I had this facade up for her thinking I was this perfect Coco when I ruined her father's life by taking away his big brother.

I sighed taking a deep breath before following her into the office after seeing no Hunter vacate the limo after her and as soon as she noticed me she rolled her eyes.

"If you're here to whine about something I have a business to run. I have an overload of employees I don't need to be bothered by every one." She pushed open the door and set her handbag on the couch before moving behind the desk.

"I'm not here to whine, I might do so out there but that's what you want. You want me to beg and plea, complain about every negative tossed my way so I give it. Play the damsel in distress with a Fearless twist just enough to maintain my dignity." I stated clearly still not sure what possessed me to enter her office willingly but I had just been dismissed by my boyfriend so what did I have to lose.

"You lost your dignity the moment you seduced..." She began and I felt the need to shout out that it was no moment of fucking weakness but there was no point when it was clear how much the thought of one night had hurt her.

"You hate me. You punish me when your husband came to me. You know Hunter! You have been married for over a fucking decade to him, if he didn't want me it wouldn't have happened. Say I seduced him I could care less but I didn't drug him..."

"I love him. And he made a mistake." She weakly said and while I had grown to want to hate her I felt my heart sink as I knew she did and I knew how it must have hurt her. I knew because I was her, only Hunter loved her deeply while Nick never did me.

I breath in deeply before deciding I had made my own mistake by coming to do what I wasn't sure but her calling me stopped me and before she could continue I spoke.

"So what now? I have always admired you, everything about you, I might say shit to you claiming you could never be me and you let your Dad down but we both know that isn't true. He never gave you the opportunities he gave Shane, you were made to be just another diva used and you twisted that into more by showing the viciousness and power even if you were faced with freaking Brock Lesnar. I made a mistake as well and I know I don't get the same preference as the man you love. But it was a stupid mistake and I wish..."

"Do you love him?" She cut me off.

"Who?"

"My husband."

I sighed, "I'm with Randy and I love him."

"That wasn't my question" She stared at me not accusingly, she just wanted to know and I didn't know what to say when that question was something that felt so odd.

I knew I loved Randy and I was in love with him but I wasn't exactly sure that meant I stopped loving Hunter. I had never been sure I truly loved Hunter and admitting to myself that I loved Randy seemed to defeat that but even though maybe I wasn't in love with Hunter I knew maybe I did love him. It was a fault of my own when I invested so much in someone and in the end it had turned out how it was supposed to be. Hunter wasn't my boyfriend and he didn't have to do a lot of the things he had done for me even though he grew bitter to the end.

"No" I didn't know but answering a maybe or leaning towards a yes to her would have been unfair and purposely hurting her and making our lives unnecessarily complicated.

"Okay I want to propose a feud, I have been thinking about it for quite sometime" She leaned back in her seat.

"Feud?"

"Between me and you, I want to include your night with my husband as a storyline of course that way if it ever comes out it won't be considered truthful" She shrugged.

"I don't think I'm comfortable with that" I immediately responded and her eyes focused on me.

"Nikki let's be honest, right now you're just facing different women on the roster each week without any real direction but you're still on top. I've been off screen since Mania so us renewing a feud without the guys will be a good step for the women. But it is up to you on whether you're willing to put personal reasons aside"

"How are we doing that if you're going to air the dirty laundry for the world to see? You're going to put ideas into people's heads that weren't there. All due respect, Stephanie but I think you should reconsider."

She remained silent and seemed to be thinking when I knew it was best not to bring it up especially with Randy and I getting past it.

"Nicole, sometimes when we make decisions we should think about ourselves instead of the world. You want to be remembered as Nikki Bella. Great Diva's Champion, not the diva who Randy Orton saved constantly. I mean its great to be an exception but you need to elevate yourself past him, past all of that."

"I understand that, but then it shouldn't be about our personal relationships. I get that I have no right to tell you what to do, but professionally I feel like a feud should just be based on everything besides our personal relationships. I might flaunt my body on a weekly basis or be called a whore constantly but blatantly stating it on live TV where my family watches and Alanna, I just don't want that. Yes they knew its possibly a 'work' but I don't want to be portrayed that way."

"As a homewrecker when it was what you tried to be?"

I glared and remained silent before sighing, "Yes. That was 'one night' and I shouldn't have to continue paying for it when your husband gets to be King of Kings. Because if you're going to tell the world that the world would know that you weren't the power couple and how on earth would The Authority be on top then? I know you probably hate me but you once didn't and I know you respect my work ethic because you have told me. You want to make this about having a light shine on the women. We are both strong women so why on earth bring in our significant others?"