"Have you ever seen a storm roll in?
That's the way she loved.
A drop or two to start.
Then the flood."

-@andrea.michelle.official on Instagram

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His blue eyes searched mine although they appeared more black, maybe due to lust or the fact that I was pinned to the door blocking most of the light from shining in on my face.

I wasn't sure how I landed up back here with him when Brie had been so adamant in me staying away from him. Maybe this was it, how it would be, Brie couldn't take care of me anymore. He was right I was selfish, drowning my sorrows instead of making the most of my time with my sister.

My head felt heavy, my body felt numb but yet I could still feel his fingertips on my skin. It had been so long since I felt wanted, people saw me and assumed guys probably fell at my feet. But how could they when I looked miserable I didn't have the life they wanted to see in a woman. The only reason I even managed to show signs of any confidence with Randy was because I knew all he wanted was to get into my pants. I saw it yesterday, the way his eyes seemed to undress me and it made me feel uncomfortable yet hot at the same time.

I stared away but felt his fingers trail across my cleavage, "you're beautiful without these. Why'd you get them?"

I frowned when he had been begging me to kiss him so he wouldn't feel like he was taking advantage of the drunken women he had been stalking all night.

"Its pathetic" I mumbled with a small laugh because it was, I always wanted to be better in life. And when you had a twin it was as if you had to try even harder to be just that.

Brie was sweet, simple yet drew attention so easily and I was a bitch, yet an emotional wreck when it came to love and I just didn't have the class she had and that's how she ended up with a sophisticated man who knew what he wanted and I ended up with a man who was confused. A man who couldn't say three words that should have been so simple after five years or any sign of commitment would have been great.

"Doesn't mean I wouldn't want to hear it?" He whispered into my ear, moving my long hair to the side.

I rolled my eyes, pushing against his chest hating that he saw me as helpless. "I got it to do exactly what it did with you, get your attention. Make you want me.."

He frowned pushing against me again, closing the distance.

"I just told you that you are beautiful without them. They don't make you more appealing they just add to what already has me driven with so much lust, Nicole. If breasts were something that reeled me in I'm sure I'd have fucked ten women before I got here. I mean they're easy on the eye but there's something about you that has me wanting to taste you, kiss you, pin you beneath me and fuck you so good that you'll struggle to remain silent. And that's not just because you're the most beautiful woman I have seen in the middle of nowhere..." He winked throwing my words back at me.

"Why?" I questioned not being able to say more.

"Well that's something I'll blame the alcohol I was sipping on causing me to forget. Maybe I'll remember with the touch of your lips..." He smirked and I giggled shaking my head and he was about to say something but before I knew it my lips had found their way onto his.

He lift me up against the closed door, swiftly before pressing his pelvis against me allowing me to feel him push up against me.

"I could take you right here, right now... Fuck.."

His hands roughly gripped my thighs as his fingers hooked into the waistband of my underwear beneath my short dress making me moan into his lips.

"I'm not going to be fucked in a hallway against a door, Randall." I half moaned and he chuckled.

"Oh you will but we'll save that for later" he moved back still holding me in his arms as he moved to his room I assumed and soon kicked the door closed setting me down on the bed and I felt my underwear rip.

I pushed against his chest, wanting to be on top but he gripped my hands and pinned them above my head.

"Oh no, tonight's about you, Nicole..."

"Nicole..."

"Nicole..."

"Randy stop, I get it all about me now fu..." I stopped as my eyes snapped open and there weren't blue eyes staring back at me but instead brown ones.

Brown ones accompanied by dark hair and pale skin and an amused grin.

"Ooooh Randy" Paige giggled. "So the Viper is what gets Nikki Bella going"

I frowned and heard her laughter as she laid next to me, "how did you get into my room?"

"Its me! Come on! You have been moping over who knows what but I guess its cause your boyfriend has been off the road."

"Randy is not my boyfriend" I shook my head sitting up and briefly glancing over at the time to see it was just after 6pm. I had come up to take a nap after my workout but guess my body decided I needed more than that...

"Whatever. Come on! I got Brie waiting downstairs since we're off tonight, we just need you. What do you say? Let loose, forget about your troubles" She nudged me forcing a smile out of me.

I never could understand how she was always this happy and sighed, briefly contemplating it.

"I always end up in trouble when I try to"

The night with Randy still fresh in my mind thanks to the dream.

"I'll be your bodyguard okay?" She narrowed her eyes and I knew if I didn't get up soon, I would have a very angry Brit.

"Okay"

◆◆◆

"Wooooooooo!" I screamed out nearly falling off the small table but luckily Paige pulled me into a grip.

"Oh how I have missed this!" She squealed before downing a shot as we stepped off.

I saw Brie typing on her phone and rolled my eyes as the sudden annoyance filled me and I wasn't even sure why, "What, you're missing John already?"

"I'm just checking when he is leaving the arena." She shrugged.

"What, do you have a curfew?" I snapped and knew it was the alcohol getting the better of me but Paige's voice saying she missed this reminded me why I didn't hang out with my girls anymore.

Yes I tried to refrain from sinking into the idea of getting wasted to rid myself of my problems but that shouldn't have meant not letting loose in awhile and that stopped once Brie stopped.

"Nicole, you are slowly but surely getting wasted and I am not in the mood to be at the other end of your anger for yourself." She simply said confidently before smiling at her phone while I just let my head fall back against the seat.

"Myself?" I frowned.

"Ask yourself why you are wasted." She narrowed her eyes accusingly allowing me to remember everything I had forgotten in the last two hours.

"Brie.." I heard Paige I guess she had noticed the change in my face while Brie simply stared at me.

"Ask yourself why you are such a bitch!" I snapped reaching for my shot but not actually getting to downing it as Brie continued.

"I'm the bitch? I'm not the one who hurts everyone who cares about her. Who gives some poor excuse of you not deserving someone when deep down you know all you were doing was stringing him along in the first place"

I swear she might as well have recorded herself and played it each time we were together. I wasn't sure why it hurt now when its the same thing she had brought up whenever she could...

The last thing I wanted was to fight with Brie. I had just wanted her to actually give me some time instead of being on her phone with John the entire night but here we were and unfortunately tequila filled Nicole wasn't really good at biting her tongue. Well sober Nicole wasn't exactly good at that either but...

"Can you shut the fuck up about Randy already? Did you get all the "Nicole will always be alone" bullshit out in the ring when you called me a whore in front of the entire world out of your system? Now all you have is Randy. Can't I just have one night, one moment with you that isn't you criticizing my life."

I downed the shot and reached for the other but Paige immediately gripped it from my hand and downed it before I could, causing me to sigh.

"Yes we can but call me for breakfast. Don't get drunk off your ass and then get mad at me for not doing the same. I have a husband who I have to get home too, so yes I'm texting him to check when he gets back to the hotel." She stated.

"And I don't. I get it Brie but its like you forgot all the times I was by your side when you were drunk and losing control. I won't argue that I have probably been more of an annoyance but when John met you, you were fine. You were the one taking care of me, you had your life sorted out. He didn't meet the mess that you were and he loves you and probably would love you either way but you get mad at me for falling in love with the wrong man when he was there when you had John. He was there helping me focus on my career because what else did I have so I fell in love, fell in love. I love him and do you think I want to? Do you honestly think I like the situation I'm in, that whenever I'm in the same room with you I see the look of disgust on the person who has been the main person in my life for so long. I hate it, your opinion means the world to me Brie and all I see is how I disappoint you. And it hurts it all hurts, because I wish I could just rip my heart out and fucking write Randy on it."

I croaked and saw her face soften but glanced away staring at the people filling the dancefloor, having the time of their life and I honestly couldn't remember when I wasn't hurt, when I didn't feel conflicted when I didn't feel like I had a care in the world. The last time I was truly in control...

"You're my twin. And it hurts because we're so different, our lives are so different and we aren't what we used to be anymore. It hurts because I want my sister back who would sit up with me while Nick is somewhere, the sister who would just drink the night away pretending to be more drunk than she was so that I didn't feel bad. I miss my sister who cared about me and knew me well enough to know that tough love only ended up hurting me and causing me to be even more confused..."

I didn't want to look at her because I hadn't wanted to tell her how the moment she married John I lost my best friend. She was happy and I was happy she was but things changed and I always hated change...

"Nicole, I always care about you that's why I do this. You think I want to constantly bring you down? All I want is for you to be happy and I see you constantly doing things that steer you away from it. If I don't point out these things who will? "

"I don't want you to point out things. I know I fuck up every time I go back to Randy or him... I fuck up. I'm lost and I guess you are trying to steer me but there's no point Brie. No point in pushing me because that would mean I would be able to make a decision but I can't. Because I'm not you, my heart doesn't know who it belongs to. My heart hates me so I'm in love with him and then I'm with Randy and there's a small part of me that thinks I love him too. But you can't love two people, you can't... I don't want to love two people but if I do, who do I choose? Both roads are difficult, if I choose him there is literally no future if I choose Randy I risk his career I risk the people he cares about. I risk him destroying relationships he had way before I even existed in his life... I'm just a wreck and I'm just ruining everything" I shook my head and stood up.

"Where are you going Nikki?" I saw the concern on Paige's face who had been silent for once. She always said she hated dealing with crying people, its why she tried to not cry herself but I understood that because I hated being vulnerable. I had been so vulnerable with Nick and I thought it ended once I met Hunter because no one knew so how could I show any emotion?

Yet now I was a mess, the mess that Randy claimed to want. Only I doubted he still would...

"I just need to be alone." I pushed past her.

"Nicole..." I heard Brie but saw her phone lighting up with John's name.

"Its okay Brie..." I mumbled before leaving the club.

"Hey love, you sure you don't want me to head back with you?"

"No. Its best if you go back to Brie or she will be out here soon and I just want to be alone."

"Okay I called a car so they should be here soon. I'll speak to you tomorrow? " I simply nodded and watched her disappear through the doors.

I glanced at my phone and then set it back into my bag, as soon as I did I felt myself being pulled into a limo and was met with... Hunter?

"What are you..." He immediately kissed me, stopping any words that were planning on making their way out.

"You need to kick more forcefully."

"I'm not suppose to really injure anyone, Hunter"

"I know but you have to make it seem like it and you're not connecting with my face." He rolled his eyes but then chuckled hearing the annoyance evident in my voice at being reprimanded.

"Maybe because you're like two feet taller than me." I pointed out knowing he didn't mind my snarky comments. I had been the perfect student the first week and he basically told me to stop being star-struck and voice my thoughts.

"See that's what the problem is"

"What?" I frowned as he exited the ring causing me to follow.

"You're doubting yourself, in this business you can't do that and you need to learn to say no this time. They're taking advantage of you"

I sighed knowing he was referring to how Brie and I had always been pushovers in the company, doing anything that got tossed our way.

"They? You do know you are my boss right?" I stared at him.

He dropped his hood and moved over to the punching bag, "if you can hold this thing while I hit it. I'll show you how to do the Figure four."

"Everyone knows how to do it." I rolled my eyes but got behind the punching bag.

He rolled his eyes as well, "Pedigree."

"That's inappropriate" I narrowed mine.

"You have hopped onto my shoulders and knocked me to the ground. Don't you think that was inappropriate." He mused which I wasn't expecting.

"I.."

"I'm kidding. But I'm just saying if people were scared to get hands on they wouldn't be in this business. The only good thing is that there isn't any mix gender wrestling. I bet Nick wouldn't really want to see the way you execute your moves on other men" He sighed punching but I knew he was holding back.

"Nick?"

"Dolph?"

"I know I mean.. I'm not with him. "

He frowned wanting to say something but seemed to decide against it.

"Spit it out"

He chuckled, "hold this tighter and if you last I'll tell you"

I rolled my eyes and kept the bag setting my feet firmly onto the ground as he delivered blows to it.

"Do you miss it?" I found myself asking a man I had always looked up to since I came to the business. Being happy with a "good job" or any words of encouragement from him...

"What?" He breath, stopped and focusing his eyes on me.

"Wrestling five times a week. Being in front of the crowd.." I rambled, knowing I was drifting from our usual train all day routine but what was the point of being with a guy who had your future in his hands if you didn't question him on things.

"Yeah I do. But I was called into something different. Vince wants an easier schedule so.."

"What about Shane?"

He slowly took off his gloves and moved closer to me. "Each person has their role. And my role as a constant wrestler has sort of met its end."

"Do you want to be the suit guy?"

He stopped the bag holding it as well, "to be honest. No, but I have a family to think about"

"I'm trying to be more selfish like that not that you are but I mean to simply think about business as that. Really trying, I mean after Nick I think.."

"I can fire him if you want if that's why you're so hesitant to go back." He quickly said and I was sure he could.

"Why would you do that?"

"He's a great wrestler but I've seen things and I didn't like them. I wouldn't mind reprimanding someone." He shrugged causing me to frown a bit.

"I should go, thanks for the..."

"What's wrong?"

"All due respect but I don't really want charity from my boss just because John Cena is married to my sister." I loosened my hair and reached for my bag. "Maybe we should take a break from this"

He sighed gripping the bag from my hands and sliding it into the ring causing it to stop in the middle, "When John came to us pitching you guys back here. We were thrilled but Vince was a bit sceptical because while you two are unique the first time around things didn't end so well, I told him I would train you, get you to the level you deserved to be at. "

"You do realize I have a twin right?" I hopped onto the apron not quite understanding why I was the only one here with him.

"Yeah. But two people can't be champion now can they?" He smirked as if he had a plan making me smile at the thought of being champion.

"Is that Vince's words or..."

"Mine. I don't like seeing people underestimated, your sister was brought up to the roster first and I see how you are. You're quiet, in the meeting she was talking and you were agreeing but here you're calling the shots because you love this part. The technicality, not the business but you have to learn both. Yes its boring but when you step into a business you have to want to indulge in all parts of it. If you truly love it..."

I smiled as he paced up and down in front of me. "So you sacrifice your hair, your career to take a different approach to see people but it shouldn't hold you back. So I come out here thrice a week and I train you and I go back and I put on my suit and tie and be the man I need to be."

"But what man do you want to be?" I hopped off and walked up to him feeling an emotion fill me seeing the passion fill him.

He slowly turned to me seeming to think for a bit before closing the distance between us, staring down at me. "What woman do you want to be?"

"The best woman I am able to be" I whispered due to us being close but I didn't want to move. If we were at work I would never be this close to him, but hearing him speak made the authority figure slip and opened up the man I always imagined to be there.

"Louder"

"The Best!" I giggled stepping back a bit but not too far.

"When you get to the roster, I'll make sure you are the Best but I can only open the door for you. You have to want it, want it so bad that you'll be prepared to do anything and when I say that I don't mean be a pushover like you were the first time around. I mean you train hard and you fucking kick ass and take names, whether you're rehearsing a dark match or a main event do your best cause there's always people watching. And prepare yourself, the crowds get worse each year, the more power, the more hate. You're beautiful, you have the look, you have the confidence but you need to remember that when you're with Brie you can be all that too."

I frowned at his words when being with Brie was what gave me the confidence I had.

I shook my head. "I don't know, its always been the opposite. I just found it easier letting Brie take the lead, I trust her. We're a team so it shouldn't matter whose doing better. I mean I get only one person can be champion but I'll be just as happy if she has it cause it will be like we are both champions. But you think I'm better than Brie don't you?" I folded my arms.

"You're not making this easier" He gave a frustrated sigh.

"What?"

He stared into my eyes, "when I look at you I see the female version of myself you know? When I started out here I was just a pretty boy. No one could have thought I could do or land up where I am now. This business is all about proving people wrong knocking down doors, it will push you to breaking point but there's always something to pull you out of a rut... Or someone..."

My breath hitched as he moved closer to me again searching my eyes for what I didn't know as my eyes didn't leave his.

I heard the familiar tone through the fading memories as I slept and reached out into the darkness for my phone, following the sound.

"Hello?" I slowly opened my eyes as I realized I was surrounded by darkness and had an arm around me.

"Cocooooo!" My eyes widened and briefly checked to see it was Randy's number.

I set the lamp on and saw the arm belonged to Hunter.

"Ally? Why are you up this late?" I saw it was just after 1am.

"Late?"

I frowned recalling the time difference."So what's wrong angel?"

I sat up causing Hunter to stir and hold me tighter. I wasn't even sure how I ended up with him, wearing his grey shirt. Okay of course I realized what we did to land up here but couldn't remember much...

"I miss you Coco, I'm sorry if daddy made you mad."

"Where is your dad?"

"He is lifting things. He's scared to talk to you cause you mad"

Before I could say anything she continued, " he misses you too. Now he's making his eyes big. Sorry daddy. Daddy wants to speak to you... "

"I don... Hey" He sighed knowing she caught him by surprise.

"Hey Viper" I whispered feeling my heart ache not sure why really.

"Tell her you miss her daddy!" I heard Alanna in the background and laughed a bit.

"You can say it. I won't take it to heart" I offered as I knew how persistent she could be.

"Why wouldn't you when its true?"

"I miss you too" I confessed before I could attempt to find other words. "I'm so sorry Randy" I croaked feeling the emotions of earlier in the night come back.

I knew he was with Alanna but I couldn't control it, "For what? If you're apologizing that would mean that you saw this as something. That you saw us as something and that you doing what you did somehow ruined something. So what are you sorry for? Because the last time you told me it was nothing but... Nicole..."

"I..." I began wanting to cut him off hearing the frustration in his voice.

"Daddy said he has to finish his workout. I think he's mad at me." I knew she probably left the room.

"No he's not. He's mad at me." I breath standing up as I removed myself from Hunter's arms.

"Why?" I heard her as I switched on the lamp and slipped on my dress before putting the phone to my ear again.

"Because sometimes people that love each other get mad." I stared over at the man I loved sleeping soundly when I knew the reason I was off tonight was due to him being back and not wanting to see me.

How had I gone from controlling him with his desires for me to being the one made weak by my love for him?

"But then how can you be happy together?"

"When you say sorry." I whispered staring at Hunter one more time before reaching for my bag and leaving the room.

"When daddy sees you he won't be mad. He always smiles when he sees pictures of you."

I let out a breath as I smiled hearing her hopeful voice. I knew him being mad at me would probably be best for everyone else. He would be what he always was with Hunter and maybe both of them could just bury my existence from their lives. That would be for the best, that would be what I deserved, to truly be alone..

But was it what I wanted?

"I hope he won't"