"Is it me?
Am I the reason people always leave?
Maybe I'm just destined to be alone."

-Lexi Grey, Grey's Anatomy

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"I feel like this Queen B persona is getting the better of you." Brie rolled her eyes and I giggled as we had just finished a segment where I of course was the boss of her and I liked how I was given a more heel approach now.

My fearless brand had initially been to stand up against Authority but now it was more as a way to back up the faith they had in me. I was simply glad it was back to being Brie and I against the world, I loved fighting her but the segments were too real and even thinking about it now was too much for me. It was why I didn't even want to question Brie about the things she called me or said. It was best just to bury it all...

"I've always known I was the boss in this twinship so why not show the world?" I shrugged with a small smile which caused her to scrunch up her face in the usual are you kidding me way but I simply shook my head and stared ahead.

I saw the sign on the door displaying John Cena which I was sharing with tonight, well on the nights there weren't enough rooms and since it was Brie's husband they made them share. I would have gone to female talent but I honestly wasn't sure who really wanted to be my friend at this point. Eva, I hadn't spoken to since she joined in on the attack weeks before and while I had fought against her since she always disappeared. It seemed everyone close to me slowly made their way out of my life.

It had been a week.

A week since all hell broke lose.

A week since I stood crying with Hunter holding me, showing the most affectionate he had in quite a long time or even at all in the last two years. The most expressive, he had become more vocal on his feelings in the last few months. So had I and its what I wanted all along, more effort on his part but when it came.

The words, the three words I couldn't believe whether it was sheer desperation for losing control of yet another person in his life or that he did.

That he actually loved me.

I wanted to be loved so badly but he was right, I was manipulative and ruthless.

I manipulated him each time with my body, his eyes would always roam and I knew just what to wear to get his attention. I wasn't sure where Nikki Bella the vixen began and Nicole Garcia the woman who wore her heart on her sleeve ended. I displayed the bitch out there and pushed everyone back here away without any intention to but maybe everyone just needed a perfect excuse to get away from me.

"You okay?" I heard Brie as she pushed open the door and I nodded with a reassuring smile.

I could never speak to Brie about Hunter and this time it wasn't because I didn't feel like being judged. I just knew if I spoke about it my emotions would get the better of me because I wasn't sure how to feel about officially taking a break.

It was silly we hadn't spoken properly in months, hadn't shared sweet moments in months and I missed them so much. Missed how it was in the beginning...

"A picnic in a ring? Here I thought I had seen it all" He mused as I took out the contents of my backpack.

"You could get in here you know?" I called out for him as he laid out.

"I think I threw out my back." He groaned.

"Hunter." I smiled as he peeked at me.

He sighed and slid in, " I don't come here to have picnics in rings, Nicole."

"Just to fuck me."

He narrowed his eyes, "I come here to train and you seduce me each time"

I remained quiet and he chuckled, "I'm kidding. We both know I leaned in first, I don't know what I was thinking offering you help when I always found you attractive"

"You sure it wasn't Brie?" I nudged him.

He smirked, "Nah."

"When I realized I would be trained by the King of Kings I was so happy. I needed this, to focus on my life instead of everything else but now three months down the line. I'm in something with you" I stared at him and leaned in to kiss him and he pulled me onto him making my laughter echo in the empty gym.

"In something..."

"Aaaaah the wife is back" I heard Randy and stopped in my tracks but realized Brie was now seated on John's lap as I walked out of the bathroom having showered and changed.

His voice was radiating from the laptop where I guess they were facetiming him.

"Yeah I went to eat real quick. How does life on the couch feel?" John chuckled.

"Sweetheart, how does life on the..."

"I like having you home, daddy"

"Yeah she's real happy cause I have been picking her up from school. So what, they stick you two alone in a locker room?"

"Where's Coco?" I heard Alanna.

I shook my head as I silently moved around, packing my things so I could leave.

I was avoiding him and I wished I wasn't but Hunter's words just confused me, I was always confused when it came to my time with Randy. But in these last few months I found Randy becoming a sort of home for me, but I couldn't be sure whether it was truly that or me simply using him. Yes Brie had pointed it out so many times and deep down I told myself that was what it was.

But he said he spoke to Hunter, spoke to Hunter about me, yet it had been obvious he hadn't bothered heading to Hunter once finding out about the affair and that Hunter hadn't told him about us. And perhaps Hunter's words had been his way to stick it to me as anger filled him but Randy's undoing was truly all my fault.

Hunter had no idea he knew, yet he saw it. He saw what I did to Randy and seemed to want to protect Randy from me, maybe he was merely being possessive but maybe he knew what I did when it came to Randy.

I made him reckless, I made him not be the guy who thought things true who manipulated people. Maybe in the beginning he had still been there but now all he did was be there for me whenever I needed him or even when I didn't. He told me his intentions and whether I wasn't sure if I believed them or not he never really cared. He simply wanted to please me while I wanted to please Hunter, wanted his attention...

I hurt him, he had asked me questions.

Questions he had answers to but I didn't, in one night I had had two men basically confess their love for me and I truly believed one...

"She went back to the hotel already Ally. I'll tell her you said hi."

"Daddy misses her."

I missed him too, there was no point in denying it. But I missed Hunter as well...

"Okay Ally, go watch something" Randy blurted out and I heard her giggle and smiled.

"I'll see you two around. " I heard him before seeing John close it and standing up.

"I have a segment so I will see you. And see you in the next town Nicole" he gave me a brief hug before moving out, leaving me alone with my sister who was ready to attack.

"So you're going to go from spending almost every day with him and then shutting him out when he isn't here anymore. I have tried to hold my tongue with this situation but that's not right Nicole."

I made sure to turn away from her as I responded packing the rest of my things away.
"I'm the reason he got hurt so I haven't spoken to him, its not like he has tried to contact me personally."

"You aren't. That group was crumbling the moment Hunter focused all his attention on Colby. And he hasn't contacted you because he thinks you just left him when you spent whole night beside him where John and I found you sleeping next to him"

I rolled my eyes.

"He thinks he was dreaming" She added due to me not saying anything.

"Then let him think so" I tried to hide any emotion I could because I didn't want her getting an idea of any confliction or hurt I was experiencing. I couldn't face Randy especially after that night...

"I knew this would happen. Hunter has gotten to you again, with Stephanie right here?" I heard the disappointment mixed with disgust evident in her voice and I was so over hearing it.

"Do you fucking see Hunter around here? No. He hasn't been around us since last Monday so clearly he is keeping a low profile as well. I'm not staying away from Randy because I'm getting Hunter's attention. I'm staying away from him because we both know I don't deserve him.."

THANKS TO @kenreid for suggesting this song cover. I love it especially for this chapter and well the entire book 😍😍😍

"Do you really not feel anything? Was I just convenient? I'm sedated I can take it."

I sighed as I clutched his hand in mine, feeling like I had been by his side for months when it had only been about an hour. The smile on his face after he received his stitches almost made me forget that I had said goodbye to the man I loved.

A break but it was indefinite and with how things had been going maybe forever, it was an affair not a great love story even though I hoped it would all go back. Back to when it all seemed easy.

I didn't know what to tell him, just like before his match, now I was at a loss. I tried twisting the confusion of him knowing into anger and attack him, have him fight me but he didn't want to.

"They call me dramatic but they have all this.." I stared at the room.

"They see blood and maybe I had them do this just to let you be concerned." He mused lazily staring at me.

"I think me being here shows that I am.." I smiled despite Hunter's words roaming around whether I used him or not.

I cared about him.

And seeing the look on his face as he crawled to Hunter knowing what he knew I wished I could be in his mind to get an idea because despite leaving me in tears before his match when he saw me backstage I saw the relief as I hovered over him while he was pulled out on a stretcher.

"Mmmm so I thought this past couple weeks when I had you by my side but turns out it meant nothing" He chuckled trying to play it all off when he should have been so mad.

"It meant everything to me. I can't choose what my heart wants though and I know I hurt you but.." I shook my head.

"Get some rest, Orton" I could feel the emotions filling me and the last thing we needed was me breaking down.

"A kiss?"

I sighed and he stared at our hands instead, "We all make mistakes"

"You don't even know anything and it seems you're ready to forgive me."

"Forgiving you means you wronged me. But you tried to push me away Bella. I'm just too stubborn for my own good. I mean what I said though.."

"What?"

He pouted his lips, I giggled and kissed him but felt him pull me closer. Slipping his tongue past my lips as he held my face and I returned it as I always did. I had lost all control when it came to his touch...

He slowly broke it and gave me a quick peck..

"I thought you were sedated!"

"I am. The predator isn't though" He gripped my behind and I immediately pushed against his chest and stood up.

"Go sleep Randy"

He sighed and let me go allowing me to sit back in the chair.

"I know you didn't answer me but I love you, even if you don't love me I can't change how I feel and I see no point in hiding it"

Within minutes he was asleep while I had been silent.

I slowly let go of his hand before heading to the bathroom, closing the door, blocking a sleeping Orton.

I felt the emotions getting the better of me again and wished my granddad was around to send me in the right direction because I had never felt so lost before.

With Nick I felt wrecked but I was the one hurt.

Now I was both hurt and causing hurt and I wasn't sure how I had gotten to that place. I didn't recognize myself anymore, I was already someone I hadn't wanted to be...

"I feel so lost and I know you might be disappointed in the woman I have become. But ever since you have been gone I feel so lost, I don't know what I want, truly want. I'm in love with a married man who has three beautiful daughters and a good wife and if she found out I could ruin everything. And then I have a man asleep outside who is so amazing and its weird cause I saw him as this sleazy guy when we first met. There were so many rumours about The Viper and now I guess maybe time on his own has made him mature and he is just so amazing. But he knows and he is sedated now but who knows once he wakes up.. He loves me and I honestly am not sure why..." I shook my head and quickly splashed my face before I moved into the room, watching him sleep soundly.

I sat on the edge of the bed and heard him groan before pulling me closer. I sighed and laid onto the bed he really shouldn't have been in as his head rested on my chest.

He briefly placed a kiss into my neck but I knew he was asleep because he always did it. I guess out of habit of some sort..

"You know what Orton? I just realized I don't even know what love is.."

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Thoughts on Nikki's confliction???

Congrats to The Viper on his win. Really wanted Bray to retain but happy for him😘😘

CONGRATS TO NENA ON THEIR ENGAGEMENT 💑

MY BEAST ON BEING CHAMPION!!!

MY FIRST LOVES WHEN I STARTED WATCHING WWE WAS DX+RKO+ EDDIE GUERRERO+ BROTHERS OF DESTRUCTION AAAAAND JEFF HARDY !!!! SO NEEDLESS TO SAY WHEN THAT FAMILIAR MUSIC PLAYED AND I SAW THAT DANCE MOVE THAT ALWAYS MADE ME FEEL SO MANY THINGS I WAS OVER THE MOON 😭😭😭😭

STEPHANIE IS JUST GOALS IN LIFE 😊😊😊