“YOUR MIND IS LIKE A TREE WITH A HUNDRED LEAVES.
AND I AM A LITTLE BIRD WHO SITS ON THIS TREE
WANTING TO KNOW THE SLIGHTEST QUIVER OF EVERY LEAF.”

The next afternoon, Yoon Min made him sit on a swing, so currently both of them were sitting on two swings and rocking themselves lightly. Actually she was pushing her feet to swing and he just remained still.

She always told him not to hesitate to ask her anything. But he always kept silent though he wanted to know. Not because he thought it might ruin her privacy, but there was no confidence left in him. For a long time, he didn’t have anyone to talk to except his manager and his therapist. Which made him more lonely and voiceless. Many comments used to show his voice wasn’t so good as the other vocalists. That he sounded harsh and broken. So he felt ashamed to let her hear his voice that once used to echo around the world.

But when he thought about the last fan-sign event, he didn’t notice her discomfort while talking with him. She was the first fan to hear his voice after years.

Seokjin shifted his eyes slowly to look at her. Some people are born different. And an interesting fact is, you don't need two seconds to recognize them. Something was telling him she would turn out to be a different person too.

But he shouldn’t judge her too quickly. Long ago, he blindly put his belief in their fans, thinking they will never leave him or even think about hurting him. The way they turned the table around was a lesson he didn’t forget. He shouldn’t trust her easily. As much as it sounded the most painful thing to think, she was a fan too.

“Why did you run away?”

He badly wanted to ask her this very same question from their first meeting. But he didn’t have the courage all along. He thought she would tell him about it someday. But she always liked to talk about other things. Never did she bring up the topic of his horrible past or her reason to escape from her house.

In a way, he was glad she was mature, careful about what to talk about. Dr. Han always talked about that incident by which he was too uncomfortable and attacked. But she bragged about the beauty of the universe, the sky, the stars, the moon, the sun. She told him about a whole new world.

He hoped he didn’t hurt her by asking this.

Yoon Min exhaled a soft sigh before glancing at him. “My family didn’t have anything that makes a family.”

He blinked confusedly.

“We were a small but respected family. At least that's what Mother said,” she shifted her gaze to her feet now. “My father served in the army before he managed one of the largest manufacturing companies in the country. And my mother was a doctor. I also had a big sister.

“In the town where we used to live in, our family was known to be the most elegant, richest and nicest one. I was told people respected us a lot and expected kind acts from us.” she stopped swinging.

He knew something was wrong since she didn’t sound energetic or positive anymore. Her bright face was nothing but an art of a painful mixture of sentimentality.

“Little did they know what was going on inside every single day.”

Silence was the only response he could give her. The sun was milky white, driving into the west sky to return to its other home. Its last lights were falling over their shadows.

She continued, “There were fights; violent fights. My parents used to fight very often since the start of their marriage. Pieces of furniture on the floor, glasses shattered, blood splashed on the walls, the high tension and dread feeling were something I witnessed every day.

“My earliest memory of those fights is the time my mother had a miscarriage when I was three.”

Somehow Seokjin didn’t expect this. Losing someone from a family is indeed painful.

She laid her head against the chain for support. “My parents fought like enemies every day. We always saw it since we could remember.”

“That day, they were fighting again," her lips trembled. “Mother would always start the fights; from small arguments to raging fights. And Father liked to argue. Instead of apologizing, he always wanted to prove himself right.”

He grew curious each second but he knew he shouldn’t force her to speak faster.

Yoon Min resumed, “Everything is foggy and old but I remember a lot of bad stuff happening. I remember I was scared, so was my sister. I remember hearing a lot of shoutings. All the relatives came to help. That's all I remember. But after I was old enough, the maids told me it happened because of the miscarriage. Apparently, the day after the operation, my father left for work in the morning while she was asleep. When she woke up, she was furious by the fact he didn’t stay with her and chose work over her.

“It wasn’t entirely true. Father had given instructions to the maids to take care of Mother until he returns. But she didn’t want to hear any excuses and created an uproar.”

A painful crack in her voice caused her to stop as she took heavy breaths. Even though she was going to continue, he didn’t want to hear anything more. He was tensed.

“I heard she burned all of my father's clothes then. The scariest part is, he had to be in an assembly and train recruitments within an hour. But she had burnt his uniform right in front of his eyes,” she let out a disappointing smile.

She stopped there, didn't continue. He didn’t want to hear anymore anyway. There were goosebumps all over his body in fear. He didn’t know who was right or wrong in that story, neither did she. But he was certain her mother's behaviour was too cruel to be true.

There’s this proverb that you can push your pain down your soul and pretend it doesn’t exist. To do that, maybe it costs us our memories, our pain, and mostly our own will to do that.

He learned that Yoon Min also did that. She hid her pain somewhere in the maze of her heart. She smiled a lot, but a few will realize all of them weren’t from the heart. Right now, she didn’t look sad or hurt at all. She only looked a vessel without any emotion.

Closing his own eyes, he let out a shaky breath; her story of her parents affecting him more than he thought. If he was this shaken, what was she feeling?

Then the sun took off its leave and was on its way to greet the other side of the world. The sky was losing its lights as evening was approaching. Yoon Min was the one who got up first from her swing and brushed the dust off her skirt. He watched her as she took a relaxed breath and glanced at him with a smile.

“Jin-ssi, how about we say goodbye now? I gotta go.”

He nodded immediately without opening his mouth to even bid her goodbye. But she bade a cute goodbye by waving like a doll and hopped to walk away.

Seokjin remained on his swing still. He was still thinking about her parent's incident. It seemed to affect him more than he imagined. He realized she was only three when that fight occured. Hence thankfully, she didn’t completely have any memories of it. But what happened after? What about those memories she remembered?

Thinking how she confessed everything without any hesitation, how she poured an unfortunate part of her childhood to a stranger surprised him. Why did she trust him with her past? Why him who couldn't even take care of himself?

He stood up from his swing and looked at her direction. Without a second thought, he called out her name for the first time since they met.

“Yoon Min!”

The faraway girl froze in place for a few seconds before turning around.

He walked to her hastily before his brain could process what he was doing.

“Why did you do it?” He asked once he was in front of her.

She looked a little taken aback. “Did what?”

“Why did you tell me that story? How did you muster up the courage to share what happened?” his eyes had the most innocent sparkles.

He was asking for himself. He was amazed by her bravery to speak up about an incident she was clearly not proud of. During his sessions with Dr. Han, he could never talk about his incident, the one where he was falsely accused and his life was ruined.

But what she just told him was more uncomfortable. He had to hear why and how she did that.

Yoon Min blinked once, then twice before finally letting out a chuckle unexpectedly.

“Who should I tell if not you?” she answered him with a question. “I always wanted the Kim Seok Jin to know every single thing about my goddamn life. You're my bias after all.” she grinned before walking away again.

He stared at her figure walking away from him. She never walked normally. Sometimes she hopped out of nowhere, sometimes she ran, and sometimes she walked like Jerry the mouse. Even now, she was running instead of walking normally.

Maybe there was a childish side in her that he wasn’t aware of.

Her answer was definitely not helpful. But her amazing courage to call him her bias was enough for him to prevent his lips from curving upwards.

☆THE FAULT IN OUR STARS☆

THANK YOU FOR READING
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