“HOW CAN A PERSON BE FILLED WITH LIFE AND THEN BE EMPTY?
WHERE DOES IT ALL GO?”

“We need to talk, Seokjin.”

Seokjin didn’t like the expression on his manager's face. Those words set off alarm bells in his mind. He braced himself for whatever was coming.

“HYBE has decided to let BTS have a comeback. It'll be about three months away, in July.” Yu Beom paused to let the news sink in.

The news didn’t affect him much. He gave a few nods, not comprehending the reason why he was told that.

“The productions have already started. The members are also gearing up for the comeback. So I need you to come with me.”

That's when it affected him. “Why?”

“Because you also need to get ready. We have so much to do; we need to decide the concept of the album, the recordings, photoshoots, learn choreographies...you know the drill.”

He crossed his arms. “I'm not going.”

Yu Beom honestly didn’t expect that answer. “What did you say?”

“I am not going. I don't want to be a part of this anymore.”

Seokjin was done with the K-pop idol life. He refused to make the same mistakes again; the mistake of trusting the fans blindly, the mistake of trusting millions of lies dressed as promises. It wasn't worth it; all those years in his training period of sacrificing and working hard for nothing. He had experienced immense success, only to watch it all crumble underneath him.

All this time being away from music and his job, he forgot the thrill, the excitement, the joy of that life. The spark within him had dimmed, if not disappeared entirely. He had forgotten how to sing or dance until a few weeks ago when Yoon Min made him sing in a karaoke room. He could feel his spark returning, or maybe it was there all this time buried under layers of doubt and insecurity. But it wasn’t enough to convince him to return to the demanding life of a global idol.

Was it because he saw how the fans treated him? They easily abandoned him, didn’t believe his words, showed their betrayal side. Was it because he could no longer trust them or the members because everyone had walked away from him years ago?

“Hear yourself! What nonsense is this?!” Yu Beom shouted.

“What do you expect me to do? Go back to being what I used to be? Sing and dance for people who don't give a damn care? ARMYs don't need me anymore. They proved it many times already. I heard what they were saying at the fan-sign event, I saw their faces! They hate me. They will always hate me!”

Maybe he shouldn’t have cared, maybe he shouldn’t have treasured them more than his family, maybe he shouldn’t have believed their lies.

The manager realized his anger. “Seokjin, they don't hate you. You saw what happened last week. Thousands of ARMYs stated they miss you and they want to see you. They care for you.”

He only gave a dry scoff. “It's all pretending. They're excellent at that. After three years they say they don’t think I was a victim? Where were they when I needed them the most? Where were they all this time? It's all part of their game, Manager-nim. They did it from the start; vowed to never leave us and always support us, but look what they did.”

It hurt him to speak about them this way, but he had been pushed to a point where he felt it was necessary. The circumstances had forced him to adopt this perspective.

“Come on, don't say that. I agree they weren’t there all this time. But they are here now. They want to be there for you. We should appreciate their love and—”

“Love?” He interrupted with a mocking smile. “They don't love us, Manager-nim! They think they love us. But in reality, they only use us to present themselves. They stan BTS so that they can be valued too! If they really loved us, they would never leave. Yoon Min told me about those anti-fans. They only love us until they are returned the same amount of love. They leave as soon as they are criticised or bullied. They are into us until they find something else interesting and don’t think twice before leaving. All of them are selfish to the core!”

Yu Beom was taken aback by his anger disruption. He didn’t find a chance to speak before the other male yelled.

“And my members? They also left. None of them stayed behind. When I was being interrogated and charged under multiple cases, none of them stepped forward to help me. None of them ever talked about me. They forgot me too.”

He didn't want to taint his memories of his members this way. He didn’t even mean it. But the words were just spewing out of his mouth as if it was mandatory.

No one is perfect. And we realize it once we see the flaws in our loved ones. Most of the time, we can't see them, actually we don't because we just love them so much. Then one day, we see a flaw and we can't unsee it.

The betrayal from the fans and the members was a thought he had once before. He wondered what if one day, his dear members and his precious fans turned their backs on him. What would happen? He found the answer after the incident.

Life went on for everyone. But his life got stuck somewhere dark and cold.

The manager put his hands on his waist. “So you think the solution to these problems is not joining the next comeback? Do you think if you sit out from this, ARMYs will realize their fault? The other members will talk to you?”

Of course, he didn’t think that. But he wasn’t surprised if his outburst of anger had led him to express his feelings this way.

“Listen to me, Seokjin. I don't know what you're thinking right now. But whatever it is, just stop, okay? You may think your members have forgotten you entirely. That's not true. I stay with them more than I do with you. They never miss talking about you. They would find something and say ‘Jin hyung likes that, Jin hyung would say that, he would know what to do’. They will die before they forget you. It's just the company's strict orders not to speak about you in public. They have to follow the orders even though it breaks their hearts. They're as helpless as you.

“I heard you talked to Jhope on the phone. You wanna know what he did? He ran around the company, telling everybody about you. It's the first time I saw his laugh in a while. The other members asked so much stuff about you. Even the staff. No one has forgotten you, okay?”

The new information brightened his soul. He wanted to smile at the thought of the members talking about him. But his ego didn’t let it change his mind.

Yu Beom continued, “And if you wanna talk about the fans, are you sure all of them are selfish? What about Song Yoon Min?”

The mention of her name made him lift his head and look at the manager.

“I don't know about others but she is an exceptional fan. That day in the office, when she defended you wisely and gently, I was proud of her. Because she seemed like she was ready to throw her hands at whoever wronged you. And I know she's not alone.”

His words started to make sense. But no one could be compared to Yoon Min. He wanted to tell him that so much. She was extraordinary.

“There are hundreds of people like her who still love you, support you, want you to come back. You should live for those people who care about you, Seokjin. Live for them, not your haters.”

As much as his words were inspiring, they were not enough to convince the idol. He remained silent and looked away.

Yu Beom released a sigh and let his head drop. He murmured, “Think about it, Seokjin. Don't make a rash decision like this. Don't hurt people in the same way they did to you.”

Seokjin stood up on his feet and walked past the manager in a fury. He stormed out of his house, slamming the door behind him. Hurt people? Who was he hurting? Not being a part of their next comeback didn’t mean he wanted to hurt people. That was so mean. How could his manager say that to him?

With a heart burning in frustration, he knew where he needed to go to calm down. He knew the only person who could make him understand the manager's words more specifically. He knew she would understand him.

Without a second thought, he called Yoon Min and asked her to meet on the bridge.

✦✧✧ - ✧✧✦

The late night was deeply quiet. In the quiet sky, the stars played with each other while the bright moon was completely out, casting its silvery white moonlight on the water.

He stood on the bridge, leaning and staring at the gentle flow of the river. Occasionally, he moved his head to check if she was there or not. The bridge was alone, everyone was already home, getting ready for bed.

As he waited, he started to think of his manager's words from a while ago. BTS's long-awaited comeback after their hiatus was finally happening. He had to be a part of it. That was the most stressful fact. He wasn’t sure if he even wanted to be on stage again. Will the fans be happy to see him? What if they turn their backs and abandon him again?

The previously clear sky began its transformation as foreboding, dark clouds gathered above. The evening atmosphere turned tense as distant rumbles from the clouds foreshadowed the imminent arrival of rain.

The quiet footsteps of someone reached his ears. He closed his eyes, mentally in relief that she was finally here.

“Jin-ssi?”

He had to tell her what was going on. He had to tell her he wasn’t ready, he wasn’t prepared to be an idol again. He had to tell her he was scared, really scared to sing and dance again. He had become insecure about his looks and voice which might upset the fans. He was worried he would disappoint the members and the company.

With all of these circling his head, he turned his head to look at her and opened his mouth to ramble everything in his mind.

But he stopped as soon as he saw her face.

She didn’t look like herself. Her eyes were tired and reddish, her cheeks seemed sticky. Her gaze was far from being serene or normal. She looked like she had been crying.

Suddenly, he forgot everything that was happening to him.

“H-hey, you all right?” he asked worriedly.

Yoon Min acted like it was a useless question. “Of course I am. What happened to you? You said it was urgent.”

That wasn’t the answer in her reddish eyes.

“No, you look seriously sad. What happened?”

She averted his concerned eyes for a second. “I'm fine honestly. Tell me about you.”

Clearly, she was changing the topic. Then he remembered how thoughtlessly he asked her to meet him so late at night. Their meeting had ended already in the morning today. They weren’t supposed to meet again. He called her up and told her to meet him without asking if she was okay with it.

He was so engrossed in worrying for himself that he totally forgot about her situation.

“Yoon Min, you don't look fine. Is something wrong?”

“No! Everything is fine. Why do you keep asking that?”

“I'm not gonna just let you lie to me. You've been crying, right?”

“No, I wasn't!” Her gaze felt cold now.

Why was she lying? Had she been lying all along? Was she so good at it that all her lies seemed perfectly believable to him?

Already he was stressed about the comeback and everything. And now she was lying. She was so clearly lying. It made him mad.

“I thought you said we have to help each other,” he paused. “On this bridge, the first day of our meeting, you told me let's help each other like friends.”

She was frozen at his way of words. Her hands tightened around her umbrella.

“You tell me terrifying stories about your childhood with an odd smile. You tell me those stories without a single tear in your eye. Why...do you hide yourself? Why do you want to act strong? Why do you lie that you're fine?” He didn’t know how he was saying all this so dramatically. “You confuse me, Yoon Min.”

He noticed the way she averted his gaze and looked somewhere else with a rigid face. He was right about her. She was definitely hiding something. Something was definitely bothering her.

With a final exhale, he took the last step to break open her chest of secrets. “You wanted me to tell you everything. I did; I shared as much as I could. But I know you don't. You only tell me what happened with you, not how you feel. This time, I want you to tell me what are you feeling. No more lies, no more pretending. Tell me what you really want to say.”

The devastation on her face was evident. She stiffened her whole body, hands clutching the umbrella as if it would protect her, but knees trembling. She looked like she was thinking too much in her quiet mind, which was unbearable.

Then a shaky breath escaped her mouth. She finally looked into his eyes directly and whimpered,

“What if I tell you the truth?”

☆THE FAULT IN OUR STARS☆

THANK YOU FOR READING
╚»★«╝

A/N: Today marks the first anniversary of this book. Thanks to everyone, this book has more than 3k reads. Not a lot, but not bad, right? I appreciate each one of you for urging me to continue this far. We are almost halfway through the book.

Also, the next chapter will be a little longer than usual. Personally, it's one of my favourite chapters because you will get to see a dark side of Yoon Min.

Thank you everyone for supporting me. Special thanks to Shahida & Tani, for tons of fun comments.