“THESE DAYS, I CARRY A HALF HEART INSIDE ME
LIKE SOME NIGHTS CARRY THE HALF MOON.
ONLY A HOPE THAT SOMEWHERE FAR,
THE OTHER HALF IS DOING WELL. ”

“You aren't that bad,” Seokjin confessed.

But Yoon Min never took his words for granted. She fixed an idea about herself which was a boring character with no talents. She threw his opinion in the air and chuckled hopelessly.

“I'm serious, Yoon Min. You don't sound like a monkey. You totally sing human.”

“Geez, thanks.”

They were lying on their backs, gazing up at the sky. The beautiful crescent moon and stars were shining bright in the night sky, illuminating their faces. The field was a little chilly, but the two friends didn't seem to mind. They had the whole sky wrapped around their minds like a blanket, and that was enough to keep them warm.

He glanced at her. “You don't believe me?”

For some reason, she didn’t respond to that. It was a bit difficult to understand her facial expression in the dark.

“Listen, I meant to say with constant practice and vocal lessons, you will turn out just fine. I heard your voice; it's raw and inexperienced. But you have a tune.”

His review didn’t help her at all. She scoffed. “Wow, anything else?”

He had to lift his head slightly and glare at her. “Why won't you believe a globally famous superstar like me? I know a thing or two, you know?”

Her lips pressed together to prevent a smile. That's when he realized he just called himself a superstar. It wasn’t a force of habit, it just suddenly came out of his mouth. After he sang his heart out an hour ago in the karaoke, he felt like he was reborn in that moment, his heart was still dancing and goosebumps hadn’t left his body yet. He knew it was going to be one of his core memories of all time.

Shaking off his thoughts, he cleared his throat. “Anyway, as I was saying--”

“Okay, stop, Jin-ssi. You don't have to butter me up. I know I sing horribly. I only sang for you and I don't wish to do that ever again.”

Seokjin, who had a keen ear for music, didn't agree with her thoughts, but the idea he presumed about her was correct: she did fix an ugly perception of herself, and saw herself poorly as if there was nothing special about her. She was more harsh on herself than anyone.

So he didn’t give up. “Hey, it's okay if you don't believe in yourself. It happens to most of us. But we don't believe in ourselves until someone reveals something deep inside us that is valuable. Because other people see things we don't.”

The sudden wise words caught her off-guard and she turned her head to look at him. He realized his words might have had an impact on her since she never usually tore her gaze apart from the sky.

“I know you're very insecure. I don't blame you for that. But you can at least trust my words. I'm sure my advice is worth listening to than your inner thoughts. So trust me when I say you don't need to feel bad about your voice. It's okay.”

Yoon Min almost didn’t blink for a minute. She gave no other reaction and turned her head back to the sky. It was only then he saw a tiny smile appear on her face. It relieved him to think she liked his words even though she probably wouldn't believe it.

“I really like you, Jin-ssi.”

That made his heart skip a beat.

“You changed a lot from your old self. You've become so quiet and lonely, heartbroken and sympathetic. It's like a whole new version of yourself. As much as I miss your old self, I kind of don't want you to go back. I like this side of yours more.”

He couldn’t figure out the reason. Really? His current self was more likeable than his past self? He thought he had become boring and awkward.

“Why?”

“I don't know...you just understand me a lot.”

“No way!” he let out a breathless scoff and turned to the sky.

“Yes, it's true,” it was her turn to look at him now. “You're not like others. When I talk, you look at me. Whenever I say something about the moon or the stars, you look up at them. I've seen a few; they would never do that. No one has time anymore for anyone. You're one of the few who put up with me.”

As if that wasn’t enough, she added more. “I like people who understand. They give you a chance before they judge you. You can vent to them so much yet they won't get tired of you. They get to know who you are and then have an opinion.”

“And I'm that type of person?”

“Yes!”

He wanted to open his mouth and say the same thing. That she was the understanding one, that she never judged him and stayed with him despite that scandal. But words never came out.

Instead, he said, “I don't get your point. I never say the right words when you talk about... your childhood. I just listen and stare at you.”

He expected her to reply but she hit his shoulder and answered something completely different. “Oh stop complaining and just act proud, like you used to.”

That made both of them laugh.

After a few minutes of complete peaceful silence, she opened her mouth and without looking at him, began to say,

“When a person tells you a story about an incident of their life, it's because they want to unburden themself, to feel lighter of the heavy feelings. A few people know the right words, they tell them the exact words they need to hear. But for others like you who have no idea, you don't have to feel pressured. If you must say something, say it with a nod, a smile or a brush on their shoulder. You don't have to wonder what to tell them. All you gotta do is listen with your heart.”

She paused before confessing. “I get the feeling you do that. You listen to me with all of your heart.”

Seokjin never felt this proud of himself in such a long time. Her compliments were always about deep facts, things no one bothered to notice. It would boost his confidence and feel good about himself. When she said that, he really felt like he was doing something good after a long time.

He couldn't help but notice the beauty of her smile. It was as if the stars had aligned just for her. The moonlight reflected on her face, revealing her perfect features. Her eyes sparkled like the stars above, and her lips curved upwards in a beautiful smile. He had never seen her smile like that before, and it made his heart skip another beat. Now was a good time to look away.

Suddenly they were talking about their deepest fears.

“Do you have any phobia, Jin-ssi?”

“Ghosts; they scare me.”

“Oooh, Phasmophobia,” she grinned.

“Fasmo--what?”

Chuckling, she raised herself and rested on her elbows to look at his face. “It's the fear of ghosts. But they don't exist. Why are you scared of them?”

That was a good question. He replied, “I don't know. Sometimes I'm scared to sleep because I feel like a ghost is near me. I can't even watch horror movies.”

“Are you kidding me? I love horror movies!”

Seokjin smiled before asking, “What is your phobia?”

As if she'd been waiting for him to ask her that, she got excited and explained,  “Let's see, I have Astraphobia; a fear of thunders and lightning. I also have Hemophobia, a fear of blood and wounds,” she imitated gagging to emphasize her fears.

He was on his elbows too. “Fear of thunders? It doesn’t suit you.”

Yoon Min chuckled confusedly. He quickly explained, “You always fall in love with the sky, the mountain, the sea, the stars and everything. So I assumed you were into storms too.”

She shook her head slowly. “Sadly, I'm yet to fall in love with thunders. I get really scared by the noise and the lightning terrifies me. My heart literally stops when it thunders.”

He realized she wasn’t joking about her fears. It was pretty serious. His phobia was childish honestly. It was nothing compared to hers.

To beat her, he added after a few seconds, “I think I also have a fear of bugs.”

She exclaimed, “Entomophobia! Really? Do they scare you?”

“N-Not exactly. They disgust me. I get all panicky when a small bug lands on my hand.”

Chuckling, she lay down on her back again and released an open sigh. He did the same, lay back on the ground and stare at the sky, marveling at the beauty of it. Out here away from the city, it was easier to see the twinkling stars winking from the endless arch of void-black beyond the moon’s corona.

Despite the cold weather, they continued to lie there, lost in each other's company. The night sky had become their sanctuary, and they were wrapped in its warmth and beauty. They talked about everything and nothing at the same time, enjoying the serenity of the moment. He knew that this moment would stay with him forever, and he was grateful for it.

The silence was only interrupted by the occasional sound of crickets and the rustling of leaves in the gentle breeze. Until...

“I have something to confess.”

He opened his eyes and looked at her. The sound of her voice was enough for him to realize she was about to spill something very serious.

His instinct came true when she sat up on the ground and stared down at his face. He wasn’t sure if he should also sit up. He could see she was nervous.

She licked her bottom lips before pressing them together. “Do you remember you asked me why I ran away from my house and I said my family was abusive?”

Of course, he remembered. Most of her traumatic experiences were unforgettable.

“Actually...I ran away for another reason.”

He could guess this was gonna come off with a big surprise.

She took a deep breath. “My mother had forced me into a marriage with a stranger.”

☆THE FAULT IN OUR STARS☆

THANK YOU FOR READING
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