"I NEVER REALIZED THIS SADNESS
HAS BURNED AND MELTED
INTO MY SKIN
UNTIL ALL OF ME LOOKED LIKE
BLAZE AND ASHES."

Manager-nim: Seokjin, come to my office. I have something important to tell you.

Yu Beom's message confused Seokjin as he stared at his phone screen. Usually, he didn't receive messages from his manager because he always called him up if needed. This was unusual.

Manager-nim: Also, try to look nice :)

The second message made him rub his forehead. Why look nice?

Ignoring now, he got up from his bed and walked to the mirror to take a look at his face. When his reflection fell on the mirror, he sighed heavily. He had changed a lot. He looked like a man whose heart was torn into pieces; dark red glazed eyes; pale pink lips. The charm of his whole face vanished as his eyes carried years of nightmares.

He sometimes tried forcing a smile in front of the mirror but it seemed like the most difficult work to him. Whenever his lips tried to curve upwards, tragic memories banged him hard. Every time, he tried to forget them, he could see them reflecting back at him.

Staring at his reflection, he again recalled the very first article that destroyed his golden life.

"BREAKING NEWS! Bts Jin Has Been Caught With Drug Usage, Violence, Abuse Of Power And More."

He winced at the overwhelming weight of that memory and shook his head to forget it. Taking off his clothes, he went inside the bathroom. As the water fell down from the shower, he leaned his head against the cold wall, closing his eyes. Letting the water droplets drip down, he wished there was any way he could erase everything and be happy again. If he could bash his brain so hard that he would end up forgetting everything.

Pressing his lips in a straight line to avoid the water, he sighed again. No matter how many times he sighed, he never seemed to relax. Then again, his mind travelled a few weeks back, to that one moment he didn't forget yet and how that voice was poking his heart every day now unexpectedly.

Trust your heart even if the seas catch fire. Live by love though the stars walk backwards.

"Aish, what the hell does that mean?" he groaned, gritting his teeth and punching his fist on the wall out of despair. He breathed heavily, shutting his eyes tight to forget that voice.

✦✧✧ - ✧✧✦

Seokjin arrived at his manager's office timely. He sat on his regular couch and leaned against it, closing his eyes to ignore anything useless.

Yu Beom entered after a few minutes with Dr. Han, both the significant figures laughing their hearts out.

"Hey, Seokjin. How are you?"

As expected, he didn't reply.

"Come on, say Hello to Dr. Han. He is here with us today."

He raised his head and replied monotonously, "I met him yesterday?"

"Yes, but today, we are here on a different business," Dr. Han sat across him with a serious face. He was Seokjin's therapist for a while.

Seokjin sighed and closed his eyes.

The doctor poked the manager and whispered, "Are you sure about this?"

He returned a big smile, "I've never been so sure."

Yu Beom stood up from his chair and walked out of the room to attend a call.

That's when someone knocked on the door. Dr. Han went to open the door while Seokjin remained in his seat, unbothered. He could hear the door being open and the doctor engaging with whoever was there.

"Nice to meet you. I am Dr. Han Ji Tae. I am a psychiatrist working in Seoul currently. Please come inside. There's someone you must meet."

Wondering whom he was talking to, he squinted one of his eyes open but immediately closed it after finding them coming inside.

"Yah, Kim Seok Jin. Look who's here..." Dr. Han exclaimed in delight.

Seokjin showed no interest.

"You don't wanna miss it."

Upon hearing his second urge, he sighed in annoyance and opened his eyes to meet the person with a cold gaze. He guessed that it was another doctor or some caregiver to help him.

However, he was wrong. And his cold expression melted slowly into surprise, butterflies played around his heart as time slowed down.

Scooby doo?

Yoon Min stood in front of him in a similar expression, her eyes widened and lips parted. She drew in a mild gasp, sucking all the air of the room in shock.

Seokjin however felt a tingling sensation in his stomach for the first time and his breath hitched, heart in his throat. He never, not even in his dreams thought he would see her again.

Even though both of them were shocked, they didn't know a little part of their soul was happy to see each other again.

Yu Beom came back at the right time. Dr. Han introduced her to him as soon as he saw her. "She's here."

"Hello, Miss. Nice to meet you. We were looking for you since last week. Where were you hiding all this time? My men had quite a hard time finding you," He chuckled like an idiot.

Before she could answer, he shot her with another question. "Ah you do know me, right?"

She seemed scared and nervous, also puzzled about everything.

"Y-You look like Manager Yu-Beom?"

Her answer earned a proud chuckle from the manager. "You're right! Except for the fact I look like because I am actually him. Hahaha!"

Seokjin saw the girl trying to smile but the anxiety and curiosity on her face were a big obstacle. Well, he himself was confused. He shifted uncomfortably in his seat and sat in a decent position this time. He was familiar with Yu Beom and Dr. Han's ridiculous ways of bringing the old Jin back in him but he never guessed they would bring a girl into this.

"Please sit. We got so much to talk about," Yu Beom gestured for her to sit on the same couch.

Yoon Min kept a safe distance when she sat beside him, facial expression pale like a ghost. Her hands were shaking out of uneasiness so she tightened her fingers together.

The adults took their seats across them and Yu Beom clapped his hands for God knows why. Before the conversation could start, Seokjin interrupted them. "Manager-nim, may I ask what is going on?"

"Seokjin, patience. All good things to those who wait."

He turned to her. "So can I know your name?"

The girl fidgeted with her fingers, unsure of trusting these men. She had no choice as well.

"Song Yoon Min."

Yu Beom smiled broadly. "Nice name. Where are you from?"

Seokjin couldn't help but sneakily look at her every second. He was still debating if she was the same girl from before. He didn't exactly commit her face to his memory. It had to be her - since their eyes met, his first memory of hers flashed in front of him. He noticed from the corner of his eyes that she felt too uncomfortable with the situation.

Dr. Han then took turns in asking questions.

"You are a fan of BTS, right? We saw you at the previous fan-sign event a few weeks back."

She gave a gentle nod.

"So how long are you in Korea?"

"Two years, I think," she said.

Dr. Han nodded and then looked at the manager. Both of them communicated through their eyes shortly, harder for the others to understand. When things took a bit too long, Yoon Min took the courage to ask. "I'm sorry but can I know why I am here?"

Yu Beom looked at her as his expression slowly changed into a serious one. Seokjin sat straight since he knew the manager was about to get to the point of everything. He had a feeling whatever he was going to say won't be good.

He finally spoke up. "Yoon Min-ssi, you know the incident that happened with Seokjin 3 years ago, right?"

The topic being on air, Seokjin swiftly looked at the girl to see her reaction. And as he expected, she was a bit surprised and taken aback by the question. Her lips were straight after she gave a nod.

"Do you happen to still support him after everything happened?"

She questioned back, "You are talking as if he did something wrong."

Both the manager and the doctor's jaws dropped at her response. They exchanged glances with each other, surprised by the girl's strong answer. Meanwhile, the idol whose matter was being spoken slightly smiled unknowingly. So she meant it when she said she believed him back at their previous encounter.

Yu Beom continued. "Of course not. We never believed those pieces of evidence. Seokjin never admitted to those claims so I don't see any reason not to believe him. The fans started to leave the fandom because of it. They raised petitions about kicking him out of the group. Especially, after the rumour of his mistreatment of the staff. I still remember when every news channel only talked about him.

"We did try to cover up and say he was being framed by his ex-friends. We released statements, the truth along with it. But by then, people were too angry with those fake charges that they didn't believe us. Als--" He stopped when he saw her scoffing lightly.

Seokjin took a secret look at her. She had her arms crossed over her chest. He didn't know where she got the nerve to speak her mind suddenly. She just sat straight, leaned forward and said,

"That's not what happened."

The adults were taken aback.

She licked her lips and stared directly into their eyes. "Back then, all ARMYs wanted one thing. For HYBE to clarify everything. They believed in the agency more than anything. We waited days, weeks, months but you didn't reveal a single thing about him. Then one day, you released a statement saying Jin would be on hiatus until further notice. You know that is enough for at least half of the fandom to lose their hope!"

Yu Beom bit his lips, exactly feeling guilty because he knew the agency was wrong from the start. They were irresponsible about it.

"Secondly, BTS was internationally popular at that time; along with gaining millions of fans, they had a large number of haters as well. Those haters grasped this lifetime opportunity and spread lies, and hate posts against him everywhere. You overlooked these posts which made it to the news! Those posts from haters brainwashed so many fans and they started thinking Jin was lying to the public.

"I don't get it. Jin denied everything, didn't he? Still you made him sit out of group activities and didn't let him appear in public. You took too long to respond and you basically didn't take any proper actions. You just sent him to the military. Because of your company's negligence and irresponsibility, he had to take the whole blame and disappear from the world."

The room fell into a big silence, suddenly grew tense. Dr. Han remained silent since he didn't know if he should have stopped the girl. But deep inside, he also believed HYBE was too careless with Seokjin's scandal. Yu Beom stayed quiet because he knew he should've put more attention and care back then. He just did what the CEO told him to do. He had thought ARMYs won't be like this rather even if the world turned upside down, they would always support every member. But he had no idea they would hate him like this and leave him.

He wasn't a good manager to Seokjin.

Seokjin remained still, as a bolt of lightning struck him from head to toe. The history that took 3 years ago was repeated in short words in a minute. Believe it or not; her loud, piercing voice caused him to feel every emotion he felt back then.

It was true. Back in 2022, when BTS announced they would be on a short-term hiatus and focus on their solo activities, it wasn't because of how it looked. Months before, he woke up one day being accused of several charges such as gambling, drug use, embezzlement, violence and other charges. The case blew up so much that the President himself ordered a detailed investigation. He was taken to the police station many times and he denied all the allegations every time.

But HYBE Labels wasn't handling the matter well. They were unable to fight off thousands of attacks all at once suddenly. Fans demanded answers, collaborations were breaking off, the internet hyped every social media up. Instead of highlighting the fact that their artist had denied everything, they were focusing on getting the pieces of evidence removed. The agency took a long time to defend their artist rightfully, but it was too late. Fans lost their last light of hope and faith.

His career went downhill after his detainment. For his transgressions, he was charged with a fine of 1.2 billion won. He was also sidelined from future projects and deals. So he was forced to take a step back from the group and the agency decided to send him to the military for then. It was obvious they were just trying to get rid of him. To even cover up that, their agency decided to let the members complete their millitary first since it was mandatory anyway.

Life threw an ugly trick on him. He failed to get back on his feet after what he went through.

"I'm sorry. I spoke too rudely. Please forgive me," Yoon Min apologized after a few minutes, bowing her head. She looked terribly regretful.

"No, no, no. A fan has every right to be angry at us. It's alright, I understand."

Dr. Han then took the matter into his hands without wasting time. He glanced at the manager slightly before speaking, "So as you see Yoon Min-ssi, Seokjin is mentally troubled by everything for a long time. He doesn't eat, doesn't sleep. If he feels empty, he gulps down three soju bottles at once."

Seokjin tried to hiss at his doctor to stop but the doctor continued,

"He doesn't take care of himself. He doesn't do the tasks I give him. He has turned very arrogant, very stubborn, very hard to handle. He stays inside his apartment all day; I have no idea what he does inside 24 hours. He cries at night and I've never seen his smile all these years. He misses his brothers but doesn't admit it. He sometimes breaks things inside his apartment and screams like a wild animal. We often found him unconscious in his room for days.

"Seokjin basically has turned into an unhealthy freak who doesn't know he still has a life in the future. He doesn't believe he still can be happy after everything. In one word, he doesn't know how to let go," Dr. Han finally stopped after giving a sharp look at him.

Seokjin gave a fake compliment. "Geez...thanks, Dr. Han. I wonder why you don't have many patients."

Yoon Min heard everything and waited in anticipation.

Yu Beom then looked at her. "So we were thinking...if you could spend some time with him? Like a therapist?"

☆ THE FAULT IN OUR STARS☆

THANK YOU FOR READING
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